How can I get over my negative opinions of black girls?
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
I actually agree with a lot of things speakeasy says. But when he starts talking about anything remotely involving race he seems way off the mark. For example he said that white guys are automatically accepted by women of all races. That's not the case, white women are the only group that's accepting all races of at any significant level. He said Obama wasn't elected by the white vote. That's not true, he got a majority of the white vote despite being far from a moderate. Anyway this culture does aim to pussify caucasians. They even have that phenomonom in europe. And this is being enforced by white women and this is why i say these women have issues with white guys.Truman181 said:
DMSR76
Senior Don Juan
ElStud,ElStud said:
My advice is that you expand your circle a bit and be wary of the environment in which you meet these women. It's tough road, but honestly you've got lots of decent options in your age bracket. You've just got to search a little harder if you want quality. Resist getting dismayed and take advantage of the surplus.
If you're discouraged now, just wait till you see the pickings at 30....
DMSR76
Senior Don Juan
The root of it...
I could write a dissertation on this subject, but the biggest problems with Black relationships are heavily rooted in fatherlessness and Black media (particularly Black radio).
Bear with me....
I've seen several threads on this site discussing the impact that "Daddy issues" can have on the mental state of women (and people in general), and this is particularly true in case of many Black women. To be frank, there's virtually an entire generation of women out there who grew up without exposure to strong male figures. Many of these women don't know HOW to interact with a real man because they NEVER have done so. It's a foreign concept to them. They take on these masculine personas as defense mechanisms to cover for their vulnerability, and it tends to get WORSE as their options dry up.
As a Black man, this frustrates the hell out of me. I must admit that some older Black women that I've dated have been a lot easier to get along with, simply because they were brought up during eras when Black fathers had a stronger presence in the home. The difference was striking in those instances. Those women weren't hell-bent on 'proving' their value to me. I didn't feel that every interaction was some pissing contest.
Black radio doesn't help matters one bit. Between all the "independent woman" rhetoric and misogynistic rap tunes, a lot of toxic ideas are reinforced daily.
I haven't given up on Black women, but I must admit that it can be a struggle. I've learned that as long as I demand quality and operate in quality environments, the odds are generally in my favor.
I could write a dissertation on this subject, but the biggest problems with Black relationships are heavily rooted in fatherlessness and Black media (particularly Black radio).
Bear with me....
I've seen several threads on this site discussing the impact that "Daddy issues" can have on the mental state of women (and people in general), and this is particularly true in case of many Black women. To be frank, there's virtually an entire generation of women out there who grew up without exposure to strong male figures. Many of these women don't know HOW to interact with a real man because they NEVER have done so. It's a foreign concept to them. They take on these masculine personas as defense mechanisms to cover for their vulnerability, and it tends to get WORSE as their options dry up.
As a Black man, this frustrates the hell out of me. I must admit that some older Black women that I've dated have been a lot easier to get along with, simply because they were brought up during eras when Black fathers had a stronger presence in the home. The difference was striking in those instances. Those women weren't hell-bent on 'proving' their value to me. I didn't feel that every interaction was some pissing contest.
Black radio doesn't help matters one bit. Between all the "independent woman" rhetoric and misogynistic rap tunes, a lot of toxic ideas are reinforced daily.
I haven't given up on Black women, but I must admit that it can be a struggle. I've learned that as long as I demand quality and operate in quality environments, the odds are generally in my favor.
ketostix said:
Instead of complaining about white males being pussified, how about just not being a *****? Isn't that what being a DJ is all about? So what the fvck are you whining about? Those black men you talk about probably don't put up with half the sh!t you would which is why they "get away" with being men. example: my buddy who's ex dated black men, is a whiney pvssy when it comes to his woman. He goes on about his emotions and feelings and "why can't she loooove me" emo type crap. She rolls her eyes and has to tell him to act like a man. It took her cheating, and doing all sort of fvcked up things for him to harden the fvck up. Now he treats her the way she deserves to be treated, he got that emotional stuff in check and she's acting better than she ever has before. They both are happier. He had to stop being a bytch. You dig?
I have one theory about this possibly. From what I've witnessed some black men seem a lot more aggressive than white men. So this possibly makes black women think they need to be more defensive.
The other thing is that you are definitely overgeneralizing. I'm as white as it gets and I see nice black girls all the time. Of course, I live in a neighborhood in Brooklyn thats like 90 or 95% black. I think the attitude you have is setting you up to feel like black girls aren't classy. You walk into it assuming the girl isn't classy or that she is ghetto, and one thing happens and you justify it in your head and put her in that lump with all the other girls.
I see black girls I want all the time. Especially now that it's summer and the clothes are getting smaller and smaller. I've approached a few. I kind of ****ed up with one of my neighbors the other night. But I'll save that for another post.
The other thing is that you are definitely overgeneralizing. I'm as white as it gets and I see nice black girls all the time. Of course, I live in a neighborhood in Brooklyn thats like 90 or 95% black. I think the attitude you have is setting you up to feel like black girls aren't classy. You walk into it assuming the girl isn't classy or that she is ghetto, and one thing happens and you justify it in your head and put her in that lump with all the other girls.
I see black girls I want all the time. Especially now that it's summer and the clothes are getting smaller and smaller. I've approached a few. I kind of ****ed up with one of my neighbors the other night. But I'll save that for another post.
women haze
Senior Don Juan
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To some degree I have observed that white women who date outside of their race either 1.) Are not a typical white guy's type (ie kinda thick, Big ass) 2.) Stem from some huge emotional father type issues.ketostix said:
They do not have an issue with white guys it's that society painted a picture of what the perfect woman is supposed to look like, ie she's white , bright, and full of spite. Black women uplift themselves and many of them think that they are too good for a brotha.
I say why limit yourself...women are beautiful creatures no matter what color they are :rockon:
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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You cant.
I am guessing inter-racial relationships arent big in America.
Here in the UK, particularly the midlands where I live, there are large amounts of black women, and I would say less than 10% of them are ghettofied, and you see black girls with white guys all the time and you see black guys with white girls all the time.
In my experience and observation i have found that the majority of black men wont treat a black woman they are seeing with the same level of decency they would date a white woman they are seeing, and the same goes for the Asian community. A lot of ethnic minority groups have been raised to idealise the white man and woman, where fair skin is good, and that reflects in the relationships they keep.
As for ghettofied black women, you get a lot of white and asian women here who have that same mentality. Its across races.
Although I would love to be able to pull off a hoochi-***** fight... its an art!
Here in the UK, particularly the midlands where I live, there are large amounts of black women, and I would say less than 10% of them are ghettofied, and you see black girls with white guys all the time and you see black guys with white girls all the time.
In my experience and observation i have found that the majority of black men wont treat a black woman they are seeing with the same level of decency they would date a white woman they are seeing, and the same goes for the Asian community. A lot of ethnic minority groups have been raised to idealise the white man and woman, where fair skin is good, and that reflects in the relationships they keep.
As for ghettofied black women, you get a lot of white and asian women here who have that same mentality. Its across races.
Although I would love to be able to pull off a hoochi-***** fight... its an art!
Solomon
Master Don Juan
rhodey said:
Do you like hugging my scrotum in every thread OTB I mean serisouly? dawg I know it's you, how about this, you post a field report with some pictures, and I promise to post pictures of my X
and dawg you know I would shut the whole thread down
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
You game?
That's a load of crap. 98% of white women that marry end up marrying white men. I just looked the figures up because I know you're full of it. This wiki shows the census data right here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interracial_marriageketostix said:
It also says of all races, WHITES ARE THE LEAST LIKELY TO MARRY OUT OF THEIR RACE. White females especially so. White men are somewhat more likely to marry out than white women. 1,136,000 white men are interracial wed versus 995,000 white women.
There are 286,000 married couples involving a black man and white woman, yet there are 530,000 married couples involving a white man and an Asian woman. That's especially interesting givent hat blacks are 13% of the population while Asians are about 4%, so what that means is white men must be chasing Asian women harder than black men are chasing white women in order to have nearly double the wm/af couples given the very small pool of Asian women. Yet you don't see society all up in arms about it. A meager 286,000 bm/wf marriages in a country of 300 million. So bm/wf couples respresent a staggering .09 percent of the entire population of America yet people are all up in arms about this sh*t saying the sky is falling and it's going to breed our race out of existence. A whopping 2% of white females marry out of their group and this is an existential threat to the white race that is supposedly going to wipe them out. There are interracial couples who have been physically assaulted by neo-nazis over this nonsensical belief that whites are disappearing and IR couples are somehow a threat to them. I swear to god, whites have so much fear of everything it's ridiculous. Whether it's interracial couples or their guns being taken away by Obama or living behind gates in suburbs.
This is also why I get irritated with black women who constantly complain about black men with white women. Because when you look at the actual numbers and ignore the rhetotic, you'd be surprised with how rare the phenomena still is. Black women have issues and find interracial marriage to be a convenient excuse to blame their life problems on rather than getting their own sh*t together and doing what they've gotta do to be happy.
Again, it's a bit annoying for me to have to point out facts to you that you could've easily found out for yourself by a simple google search. Once again, I am right and you are wrong:ketostix said:
http://www.slate.com/id/2204251/
That's white male insecurity talking. Although America has come a long way since the days of slavery, there is still a psychological apartheid that runs deep and that roots back to the days of slavery. White men have always been fearful of white women intermingling with black men in any way. To the point that in the past, a black guy could be killed just for looking at one, yet alone saying or doing anything to her. I think the fear that led to this type of hysteria still exists to this day in white society, particularly among males, but it has been suppressed. It may not be as extreme as it once was, but it still exists. I think MOST white men would react negatively if they found out their white girlfriend had a black lover at some point in the past. They think it cheapens her. They will not say these things in public out loud, but when allowed to speak anonymously, they will say it. For example, I was just browsing a celebrity blog last night and there was a blog on the recent marriage between playboy playmate Kendra Wilkonson and black NFL player Hank Baskett. I was reading the comments left by people where they are all calling her disgusting for marrying a black man and that she's now a ho and he's her pimp and all this stuff defiling her worth because she made the unforgivable sin of marrying a black guy. They wouldn't have said this sh*t if she'd married an Asian guy. These same assh*les were also up in arms over Seal and Heidi Klum marrying.ketostix said:
The white man's ego is shot to hell when a woman of his race decides to marry out, especially if she's physically desirable. In a way no other man is. I went to Thailand a few years back and saw Thai women dating white men everywhere and no Thai man seemed to give a flying f*ck about it, just to contrast attitudes.
Now let me give you the straight dope here on white men...This white male insecurity leads him to have to come up with a rationalization system as to why a white woman married out in order to save his own ego. Oh, there MUST be something wrong with her. She's a slut, she's a wh*re, she's got psychological problems, she hates her father, she has low self-esteem, she hates white men, she's ugly, she's fat, she's a money chaser, blah blah. The excuses are endless. In the end, they are just convinced that no white woman that is completely normal and well-adjusted could EVER choose to be with a black man for completely NORMAL reasons, such as two people having chemistry, things in common and finding themselves mutually attracted and that's it. To believe that is too much of a threat to white male ego, so they must defile the white woman who has a black partner, brand her with the scarlett letter, consider her "tainted" and discard her by saying things like "once you go black, we don't want you back", because she had the audacity to not believe in the orthodoxy of white male supremacy. That's what all this sh*t comes down to in one sentence, insecure white male belief in maintaining white male supremacy.
On the first thing, I strongly agree. I've noticed that a lot of white women that are with black guys tend to have bodies like black girls, which means kind of thick and meaty and with a big ass. And black men love thick women with big asses, yes I count myself amongst them. White men tend to like the tall, thin "barbie" type of women most of all so I think some of these thicker white women with ass just go to where their market is, black and Hispanic men. I've seen it many times, in fact, I can almost guess if a white girl is open to dating out of her race just by looking at her body type. If she has a black girl type body, I bet there's a 50/50 chance she'd be open to dating out. I once saw this hilarious picture that's probably true as why you see thick white girls with black guys: http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c214/dirtyoldman2721/Demotivate/thick-white-girls-demotivational-po.jpgwomen haze said:
As for your number 2 reason, sometimes that is the case, sometimes not. Just remember, most white women that have emotional father issues are with white men by an overwhelming margin. Think of Britney Spears as an example. She had no father, she's as f*cked up in the head as it gets and she only dates white men from what I see. Ditto for Anna Nicole Smith, or Paris Hilton, Or Lohan, etc etc...
Figures don't lie, but lairs figure I guess.
What does that prove other than that men from other races want to fvck white girls but they don't want to marry them? Why should a white guy buy the cow that was giving all the milk away for free to non-whites lol? If anything this condemns inter-racial dating between black men and white women.
Here's where you go off on the liberal, ethno-centric deep end. You rewrite history and everything else. You can't tell me about white psyche, insecurity or lack thereof. I'm a white guy and I'm giving you the straight dope. But go on believing your ethno-centric, liberal theories.
speakeasy said:
What does that prove other than that men from other races want to fvck white girls but they don't want to marry them? Why should a white guy buy the cow that was giving all the milk away for free to non-whites lol? If anything this condemns inter-racial dating between black men and white women.
What you're saying doesn't add up. If whites are the least likely to marry out of their race then what race is the most likely group marrying? The reason white women aren't getting married to other races is because these men have no intention of marrying them. Are you going to try to tell me white guys are more into interacial dating than white women? No way. White males are simply getting married at a higher rate and being providers and providing citizenship. Black guys aren't marrying anyone. You are twisting the figures around to support a false conclusion.
Wow your bias is so huge its funny. Again you fail to mention that a majority of black men, way more than this small number of interacial marriages between whites and asians, are dating and having sex with white women. So you turn a negative into a postive. Black guys marry at low rates regardless. They have no intention of marrying these white women. That's what annoys me about black people. They like to shift blame and responsibility to whites.
The black women are right and you are totally misconstruing the statistics.
You have pointed out nothing. You pulled an old trick of putting a false interpretation on statistical numbers.
Here's where you go off on the liberal, ethno-centric deep end. You rewrite history and everything else. You can't tell me about white psyche, insecurity or lack thereof. I'm a white guy and I'm giving you the straight dope. But go on believing your ethno-centric, liberal theories.
First off, there's no way you are going to know for a fact how many WFs are doing non-white guys because there's simply no way to get any accurate statistics on that. Even when surveys don't involve race, people are very prone to lie about their sexual behavior in polls. You seem to be drawing a conclusion that many more WFs are f*cking BM than the marriage statistics would indicate. That could be true, and very likely is, but then you draw an oddball conclusion that is because they ONLY want to do them but don't want to marry them. How do you know it's not the other way around? That maybe the men are open to marriage but the white woman is like, "I can't see myself marrying a black or Hispanic or Asian, my family would disown me, but I'll have sex with one if I like him and that's it". I suspect that's more the case. Remember also for example, many Asian guys would marry white women, but few white women are attracted to Asian guys. So you have that dynamic as well.ketostix said:
But if she'd given the milk away for free to white guys it would make some difference? Uh...ok. So if a WF had banged 20 WM before you, that would be worse than if she'd did 1 BM? Wow.
Technically, Native Americans are the most likely per capita. Asians would be next I believe. Keep in mind, the smaller the group is by population, the more likely they are to marry out, that's a demographic reality. Think about if, if you are a group that represents 1% of the population, that would mean if you were being fair to all women and didn't care about race, your chances of marrying out of your group is 99% since 99% of the population is something other than your group. Now I just showed you the statistics, the most common interracial pairing in America BY FAR is between white men and Asian women, which happens as nearly twice the rate as black men and white women. Now when you consider that 6% of America is black male and 2% of America is Asian female, that's especially interesting. Because Asian women are 3x less numerous than black males, yet they marry whites at twice the rate in absolute numbers.
Once again, THE MOST COMMON interracial coupling in America is between white men and Asian women. The statistics show that, and my own eyes have seen that walking around in the streets. Not to mention all the white men I've talked to who have admitted to having "yellow fever" and some going as far as to take trips to Thailand and Japan just to try and bang Asian women. This is especially true of white men in the military that have spent any time stationed in Japan, Korea or the Phillipines. I find it interesting that whenever you say, "interracial" people automatically think black and white. Even in the world of porn, "interracial porn" almost always involves a black man and white woman. When in reality, "interracial" is more likely to be white and Asian by a large margin.
You are ridiculous. Okay, let's just look at the number of interracial children born, that way the stats are independent of marriage as many people have kids(often by mistake) that aren't married and have no intention of getting married.
http://www.census.gov/population/socdemo/race/interractab4.txt
Only 4% of children have a mixed race background. 96% percent of children are of the same race as both their parents. So if you don't agree with me, why don't you for a change provide some statistics that shows otherwise rather than just ranting and giving anecdotal reports. Anecdotal evidence means nothing. You could even be telling the truth, maybe in whatever town you live in, black dudes are banging white chics like crazy, but that doesn't mean the same trend holds up across the nation as a whole, which is why you have to look at the overall statistics.
Thanks for finally admitting that black people annoy you. You are taking baby steps towards admitting that you are a straight up racist.
They are not right. They can date men of other races if they'd open their minds up. My sister did it. She's with a white guy. If a black woman can't find a black man, well hey go to Africa and bring one back, or set up a dating service to find black men in Africa to marry. White guys do it with their dating services to find Russian brides when they complain about the lack of traditional-valued white American women, so why can't black women do the same with African men? There's no shortage of them there, he'd be more than happy to marry an American woman of any color and get the hell out of the poverty in Africa. (Hmm, maybe that's a business idea I should look into). If she doesn't want to do that, then she should open her mind to dating white or Hispanic men. I think sitting around complaining about who other people are dating is absolutely ridiculous and about as AFC a thing as it gets, whether it's black women doing it or white men.
It's totally true that virtually all black guys are hooking up or trying to hook up with white women. It's as clear as daylight.speakeasy said:
You're the one coming to an oddball conclusion. It's obvious which is this case. Just look at black males marriage rate in general and there's your answer. It's the black males not wanting to marry predominately. But even if it was the white females' decision too, that doesn't make it any better. It's one of the very reason why I don't want any dealings with white women who date black guys. If I was going to profer a theory, I'd say they like I said are giving the black guys all the goods and then trying to stick some white guy to be the provisioner. This is why I don't date these types of women.
The difference is not that many asian guy are having sex and dating white women. We don't know how many Asian guys are wanting to marry white women, but the point is even if it were true then if anything white women shouldn't be dating them if they really think they're unmarriable.
Nice strawman argument there. What I'm saying is based on your own statistics white males are more likely to marry whoever their dating, so in my book that makes it damn sight better than her just banging some black guy for nefarious reasons.
I'm not sure how your statistics are being calculated. If you look at the world as a whole it seems clear that few Asians are actually marrying white guys. You are playing with figures. You are stating asians are 4% of the US pop. but we don't know how many of the asian women weren't brought in from Asia. You are focusing on marriage rates which don't tell you much. Just because black males aren't marrying doesn't mean they aren't dating and tying up white women. What do we say around here, 20% of the men are fvcking 80% of the women. All your statistics would support the reality that I'm proposing that white women are spreading themselves so thin and being socialized to be so hostile toward white males that white male are having to turn to Asia. There's not even enough available Asian women in the US to redress the imbalance.
Well we've gone over the marriage thing, but if by coupling you mean fvcking and dating then I totally disagree with you. You say asian are 4% of the population and blacks are 12%. Virtually every black guy is coupling with white women. The fact that they don't marry them doesn't change the fact. Another thing you are overlooking is that white males make up the largest segment of the population. Only a very small percentage of them are inter-racially dating. Even using your marriage figures for white male/asian woman, 500K, you are talking about probably a fraction of 1 percent. But somehow you are blind to the fact that a majority of black men are having sexual relations with white women while very little of other races is dipping into the black women population. You are trying to disprove reality, but reality is disproving you.
4% is not as low as you think when in order to be mixed race you have to pull from a small group in the US. There's such a thing as abortion you know. But I don't even know what your point is here. What really matters is how many of these mixed race children have a black father and white mother. I never made any claims about how much inter-racial dating produces children. What I've said is a majority of black guys at least have an interest in dating white women, and that these women aren't my type.
Look at the hypocrisy. What do you call your earlier rant about white people if not annoyance? And by your logic I guess if women annoy me I'm a "sexist" and if gays annoy me then I'm a "homophobe".
Black women should date white men and other races more. Why they don't is it because their racist? They probably don't go to Africa because African men aren't as economically priviledge as African Americans. Also what would be the point of African women bring African men here if they follow the trend of going for white women who have black fever?
You just can't admit that black guys are at a dating advantage to everyone else. And you're just intolerant of anyone not being pro inter-racial dating. That's the bottom line.
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
disagreed..
im not going to claim crippled. or say that us blk men have it unbevievably hard, but i dont think you are really taking into consideration everything you are saying keto..
you cant say in one argument that these whte women who date blk men mainly do so because of ...SOCIAL CONDITIONS and what the're assumptions are..
but then ignore that same fact when it applies to how it is PERCIEVED by most of these womens peers by dating a blk man.
there is no difference in YOUR view on the quality woman who would date a blk man, versus her friends, coworkers, parents, siblings, etc's opinions on this as well.
when me and my whte friends go out im strongly in a disadvantage when it comes to white women (assuming we are in a majority white establishment). yeah there may be a hand full of women there who is acceptable to interracial dating, but MAJORITY of the women there arent.
and i realize that it has nothing to do with me or my friends.. but more the ENVIRONMENT. you just wont find 90% of women at a Kenny chesny concert into blk men.
I think my view is different from a lot of people's. If I say white women date black guys do to social hype then how does it follow that it's looked down on by her peers?? It's not.DavenJuan said:
You are stacking the argument. The thing is there will be a percentage of white women who are into dating black guys and will be open to dating you that's as big as the percentage of white women at the venue who would be specifically interested in a specific white guy. The white women who will only date white guys are really splitting hairs about which white guy they will accept while the inter-racial daters are giving you more leniency in your personal qualities. Where you really stacked the deck is, what if the scenario was a white guy rolled out with black friends to predominatley black venue. He would be at a much bigger disadvantage. You wouldn't have to worry about too many white guys there taking up the talent. Whether you realize it or not black guys are at an advantage in dating women when you include women from all races.
speakeasy said:
Italians the least pussified? They're famous for their soccer players rolling around on the floor whenever they get touched. Also famous for their fashion sense and making sure they look good ie doing up their hair etc. Italian culture hasn't been effected as much by the PC brigade then other cultures.
They also tend to have alot of confidence and as we know women love that.
At this point, it's like arguing with a brick wall. You simply can't believe that ANY white woman would date a guy who is black for reasons that have nothing to do with race. You are so racist that you can't even see such a thing as a genuine interaction between whites and blacks that isn't overshadowed by racial drama. You are one demented individual. I just went mountain climbing over the weekend with a group of 3 whites. One of them male, 2 of them female. You know what, we had a blast together. And guess what, the subject of race, or anything even remotely attached to it never came up. We just went to camp, scale a mountain, share some stories around the campfire and have a good time. WTF did race have to play into anything? Why do you insist that you cannot have any genuine connection between a black and white without race having something to do with it??ketostix said:
That percentage is the very much the minority. They've done polls on stuff like this before. And I don't think the percentage that would be willing is anymore than 25%. Now keep in mind, when people poll, they tend to give answers that are political correct, so if only 25% said yes, you can assume the number is probably lower in real life. On top of that, keep in mind that's only if they'd be willing, not whether you'd actually do it. I might be willing to skydive, but that doesn't mean I'll actually bother to do it. If I had to guess, I'd be willing to say that the number of WW that would would be willing to date a BM is probably around 10% tops(keep in mind though most of them probably haven't and probably aren't actively looking for one, but maybe if some wealthy black guy came dropped out of the sky who was good looking and nice they'd be open to the idea - maybe). And the number of WW who are ACTIVELY looking for a BM is probably no more than 1%.
Similar trends hold true with Latina and Asian women, though Asians are probably less inclined to date blacks than whites and perhaps Latinos somewhere more accepting than whites.
Tell you what. Why don't you turn yourself black, go out sarging and then you'll have some authority to tell us what benefit you have from being black out in the world.
You might find this article interesting. I remember reading it back in college and just looked it up and found it. It's called "Black like me." It was about a white guy who did a reverse Michael Jackson. He used chemicals to turn his skin black and shaved his head. He said he already had thicker lips which helped. He then went out in the world to see what it would be like as a black person because he didn't believe all the stuff black people keep saying about racism. He found the results to be shocking. Check it out if you're curious: http://www.mdcbowen.org/p2/rm/white/solomon.html
