High IQ, value and logical men struggle in making women feel "good"

[jhonny9546]

For anyone who is in this situation:

I built it, they didn't come

Hi guys, I've just recently discovered this site, but many of the concepts have been familiar to me for years, decades even. I'm not really about learning game, but I read the "book of Pook", and many of the concepts in that series of posts have been second nature to me for my whole life. I...

www.sosuave.net

I'm betting that you have an IQ over 140. The logical analytical types aren't typically seductive traits to women.

You are very logical; people, including women, come to you to solve problems. You’re seen as the magician and the problem solver, but that can lead to boredom for women. However, when in their presence, it’s crucial to understand how to make them feel "good", similar to how other men do it, instinctively.

The problem you're facing is you "built it" according to what society tells you SHOULD attract females.

Unfortunately, all that stuff you have (physique, good paying job, etc.) is irrelevant when it comes to arousal. The stuff you have attracts women, but unless you're arousing to them, you'll continue to beat your head against a wall. What you need to do is start developing an organic dominance in your conversations w/ females. You need to learn how to use your body language to communicate to women non-verbally that you're high value and have your pick of the litter w/ females.

There are a ton of rich, good looking (I might add: very intelligent and logical) dudes who have ZERO success with females. Other than of course being used for cash, gifts and emotional tampons.

Highly intelligent individuals often struggle with relationships while less intelligent or more arrogant men seem to attract women more easily. This phenomenon isn’t limited to a specific type of woman; those men can attract various women despite differences in value or intelligence. They just know "How".

The challenge lies in understanding what these men possess that enables them to connect with women effectively and make em feel "good". Despite me being capable of grasping complex subjects like nuclear science or neurology, there seems to be a gap in learning how to engage with women, "the right way".

What’s missing for me is guidance on the right approach and timing for using social skills with women.
Everyone has the capacity to learn and develop skills; I’ve mastered drawing and gaming at a high level.
Therefore, I MUST be able to learn how to make women feel "good" as well.

Having raised my value as a man and recognizing my interactions with women are different from those of other men—who may even be of lower value but seem more successful—it's time for me to bridge this gap.
I’m eager for insights on how this works in practice so I can emulate those actions and ultimately create fulfilling connections with women. Understanding this would greatly enhance my happiness as I seek companionship.

This just reminds me when I first entered the Martial Art course: the sensei showed me the "how to do", then i saw many example of him doing it, then it was my time to learn the skill, practice it, and now that I have the skill i can use it in the "interaction".

I think I'm missing a "sensei" or a good "example", then "how to learn" the skill, and "how to put in practice".
Once i know the RIGHT way to do it, I can use it in my daily interaction with women. It's clear that I'm missing something guys.. I've my life togheter but I need this thing. Please help me man out there!

 

[The Duke]

Girls really don't want you to solve their problems. They just want to have fun.....be the man that gets them out of their head and takes them to a fun place. You think/analyze too much. That dries up pu$$y every time.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's been my experience that single mommies always seem to place a higher value on intelligence than childless women.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your job isn't to solve women's problems. That's where you are disconnected with what you should be doing.

It's difficult and I definitely had a lot of these issues in the past.

I had to basically reprogram myself with women starting from the ground up and it took a lot of hard work and a lot of time and effort for me to start seeing better results.

Until you realize that logically women don't make sense to most men and you need to focus on what actually works rather than what makes sense to you. Then once you start seeing what works, and the situations and context that it works in, you begin to understand WHY it works and then it does start to make logical sense in a way that you never would have expected.

Essentially you reverse engineer things.

 

[jhonny9546]

Girls really don't want you to solve their problems. They just want to have fun.....be the man that gets them out of their head and takes them to a fun place. You think/analyze too much. That dries up pu$$y every time.

Your job isn't to solve women's problems. That's where you are disconnected with what you should be doing.

It's difficult and I definitely had a lot of these issues in the past.

I had to basically reprogram myself with women starting from the ground up and it took a lot of hard work and a lot of time and effort for me to start seeing better results.

Until you realize that logically women don't make sense to most men and you need to focus on what actually works rather than what makes sense to you. Then once you start seeing what works, and the situations and context that it works in, you begin to understand WHY it works and then it does start to make logical sense in a way that you never would have expected.

Essentially you reverse engineer things.

The issue is that when your IQ is really high, you struggle to to this.
It's like asking a ferrari to run in the urban traffic. An infernal thing.

So as you said "Then once you start seeing what works, and the situations and context that it works in, you begin to understand WHY it works and then it does start to make logical sense in a way that you never would have expected." I'm missing everything since "Then once you start seeing what works" because I don't have the "correct" examples showing me all the process you mention. Which is what I want to go trought and finally understand the key to it.

As I've said, come to me with a humanity or nuclea issue and I'll solve it for you, but if you're a woman, you'll be amazed by how quickly I can get you the answer, and bored and *****dry soon next.

 

[Manure Spherian]

The issue is that when your IQ is really high, you struggle to to this.
It's like asking a ferrari to run in the urban traffic. An infernal thing.

This is not a matter of IQ. Amongst my friends I have an orthopedic surgeon and a tax litigator. I have an uncle with a masters in engineering who owns a glass business. All are married. When amongst more ordinary people, they behave in a manner similar to everyone else. It’s called having a good time.

This is a matter of poor socialization and in that guy’s case, a feeling that he is above and too good for having a good time with others and “corrects” them in harmless chatter. He is above letting loose and spending time with other people unless there is a self-benefitting agenda (when hanging with friends and family quantity is more important than quality). Men and women don’t want to be around this shlt when off work.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The issue is that when your IQ is really high, you struggle to to this.
It's like asking a ferrari to run in the urban traffic. An infernal thing.

So as you said "Then once you start seeing what works, and the situations and context that it works in, you begin to understand WHY it works and then it does start to make logical sense in a way that you never would have expected." I'm missing everything since "Then once you start seeing what works" because I don't have the "correct" examples showing me all the process you mention. Which is what I want to go trought and finally understand the key to it.

As I've said, come to me with a humanity or nuclea issue and I'll solve it for you, but if you're a woman, you'll be amazed by how quickly I can get you the answer, and bored and *****dry soon next.

I have an IQ between 147-155, I can relate

 

[BackInTheGame78]

'between' ?
You did it online?
Did you get a certificate?

I took tests in school, SAT(actually am eligible to join Mensa based on my SAT score), and a bunch of other online ones including one from the International High IQ Society which I am a member of.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

And have you applied yourself according to your high IQ?

Took me a little while but I became a self taught software engineer who parlayed that into a pretty successful career so far

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Nice. Many high IQ types gravitate towards IT. My ex is a software tester and her brothers also work in IT.

It aligns with the way our brains work I think and it's honestly easy for us to understand whereas others have issues grasping the concepts or difficulty seeing patterns that are there but to us we wonder how others don't see them.

It's pure logic...a computer only does exactly what you tell it to do. Which is both great and terrible because many times what you are actually telling it to do isn't what you think you are telling it to do.

I guess no different than people who are great at painting or playing musical instruments or learning languages or pro athletes...

People wonder how they can do that stuff and make it look so easy but they wonder how other people can't do it because it's just something they don't really have to work at to be good at it.

At least to get to a certain level...then if you want to progress where only people who all have the same abilities are there, you have to work your ass off and keep working at it to become better.

 

[The Duke]

Its how your brain works and which side is more dominant. The left side of the brain is for language and logic. Creativity and strong inutition comes from the right side. Most STEM types are left brained. The left brain is more associated with IQ, and the right brain with EQ.

I worked in corporate product/mfg engineering for 20yrs and have known hundreds of engineers. The majority of them are left brain dominant and struggle with women. Seemed like the smarter they were, the harder time they had with women. The engineers that made it into management roles and were the best with people were those who developed/used the right side of the brain more.

After my divorce i quickly learned how deficient I was with a lot of right brain skills. It showed up in dating. I really had to step out of my comfort zone and develop skills I didn't have. These days I enjoy being around people a lot more and like to converse. Dating is really easy for me and I'm pretty successful with women. It wasn't always that way.

Develop and use both sides and you can be very successful.

 

[MatureDJ]

I have an IQ between 147-155, I can relate

This is at 99.9%-ile, or 1 in a 1000. Based on my scholastic aptitude tests, I am also at this tier. I think it helps with very intelligent women, but such women tend to be a PITA.

 

[jhonny9546]

This is a matter of poor socialization and in that guy’s case, a feeling that he is above and too good for having a good time with others and “corrects” them in harmless chatter.

I'm not this type of man

I guess no different than people who are great at painting

I'm this type of man

Dopo il mio divorzio ho imparato rapidamente quanto fossi carente in molte abilità del cervello destro.

Interesting, how?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is at 99.9%-ile, or 1 in a 1000. Based on my scholastic aptitude tests, I am also at this tier. I think it helps with very intelligent women, but such women tend to be a PITA.

In my younger years, I was sometimes accused of acting like the smartest person in the room, and I used to tell them that I most likely am statistically.

I didn't do it intentionally but I used to get irritated when people said dumb sh!t that made no logical sense and get in arguments with them.

Now, I just let them talk and just don't really say much about it because I realized I am not going to change their opinion, they couldn't understand how and why I was thinking the way I am and I would usually just get glazed over eyes.

Plus, I also realized that in social settings acting like this isn't really appropriate if you want to talk with people and have conversations. Being "right" in these situations doesn't really matter and you just end up being the person everybody can't stand and nobody wants to talk with.

Social awareness wasn't always my strong suit and I had to work pretty hard to become "average" in this area. Still sometimes a struggle and I still sometimes catch myself falling into that trap but I tend to stop pretty quickly once I realize what is going on...the one thing that helps is I am very self aware and introspective at ways I can improve and always looking to do so.

I understand that I will mostly be talking with people who are less intelligent than I am and I have to better be able to relate to them, which is something I have struggled with. Being in sales greatly helped...

 

[Travel memoir21]

One way to stop acting too boring is to master the art of Story telling and keep the conversation subject interesting.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

IMO the issues high IQ types have with females is part of natural selection. Usually fortes for this type come up late - it allows to weight the decision concerning females for LTR better (out of available females for them), they have ability to lead the female but with other set of tools (including power, status, money) - not necessarily looks.

It also makes this type produce less offspring (which is understandable, human species needs and will need more workers than mid- and high-tier employees or contractors). Main risk is going over-intellectual in various fields of life (including relationships). This type of males is also prone to falling into p.ussy carousels (if high IQ is not matched with development of EQ, but male is to some extent successful in career/money/status).

Both the results/impact of IQ tests is also exaggerated (they are mostly logic/linear thinking/spotting differences tests, you can be trained to pass them successfully to significant extent). It is also a great way of earning money on above-average IQ people that have self-worth deficiencies (in the end it's the impact that you have in life that matters - you do not need IQ tests to be impactful). For more neurotic males, IQ tests results may actually do more damage than good. Being tied to the high score may fuel delusions of grandeur or illusions of loss ("I could take that path of career at this point because I was smart enough"). The reality is other factors tend to matter more than intelligence (like being strong willed or able to take "punches" from life and keep going). Character tops intelligence in most of situations.

 

[CornbreadFed]

It’s a confidence and egotistical problem, nothing to do with having a high IQ.

 

[MatureDJ]

In my younger years, I was sometimes accused of acting like the smartest person in the room, and I used to tell them that I most likely am statistically.

I didn't do it intentionally but I used to get irritated when people said dumb sh!t that made no logical sense and get in arguments with them.

Now, I just let them talk and just don't really say much about it because I realized I am not going to change their opinion, they couldn't understand how and why I was thinking the way I am and I would usually just get glazed over eyes.

Plus, I also realized that in social settings acting like this isn't really appropriate if you want to talk with people and have conversations. Being "right" in these situations doesn't really matter and you just end up being the person everybody can't stand and nobody wants to talk with.

Social awareness wasn't always my strong suit and I had to work pretty hard to become "average" in this area. Still sometimes a struggle and I still sometimes catch myself falling into that trap but I tend to stop pretty quickly once I realize what is going on...the one thing that helps is I am very self aware and introspective at ways I can improve and always looking to do so.

I understand that I will mostly be talking with people who are less intelligent than I am and I have to better be able to relate to them, which is something I have struggled with. Being in sales greatly helped...

Aaron Clarey has written about a book about this.

 

[Vanderdonck]

I worked in corporate product/mfg engineering for 20yrs and have known hundreds of engineers. The majority of them are left brain dominant and struggle with women. Seemed like the smarter they were, the harder time they had with women. The engineers that made it into management roles and were the best with people were those who developed/used the right side of the brain more.

I find this to be true, and it's reinforced constantly in movies about nerds. They can take apart and put together a computer or program but can't use the same intelligence to prompt women, if you will.

But I've always wondered why if the guy can do the same with a motorcycle or car, he's not a nerd and women will find him masculine. I think some of it is social feedback. Women haven't traditionally seen tech geek hobbies as sexy, so the geeks know this and go along with it. While a car or motorbike is something tangible that can literally turn a woman on, she sees its value and so she reflects it back to the guy, who then feeds it back to her.

Just a theory, maybe I'm wrong.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I find this to be true, and it's reinforced constantly in movies about nerds. They can take apart and put together a computer or program but can't use the same intelligence to prompt women, if you will.

But I've always wondered why if the guy can do the same with a motorcycle or car, he's not a nerd and women will find him masculine. I think some of it is social feedback. Women haven't traditionally seen tech geek hobbies as sexy, so the geeks know this and go along with it. While a car or motorbike is something tangible that can literally turn a woman on, she sees its value and so she reflects it back to the guy, who then feeds it back to her.

Just a theory, maybe I'm wrong.

The issue isn't that the hobbies aren't appealing. The problem is that many men believe that putting in more effort and time automatically leads to better results. For instance, in fitness, spending hours at the gym can yield better results for building muscle, but bringing this ideology into dating will lead to an burn out .

With women, the relationship between effort and results can be seen as inversely proportional; efficiency and effectiveness are key, and those qualities come from knowledge and experience.