Her sudden, abrupt change in communication. What happened?

[JST8828]

I am curious how this pattern developed wherein SHE was doing all the initiating and YOU were responding? And why you weren't leading more? If at all?

It was a pattern of only a few days, first of all. Its not like this chick was reaching out to me everyday for 2-3 weeks and I never reached out to her or never asked her out. I barely had the chance to "lead more" in this short timeframe. The first text was Saturday morning when she asked if I got home alright and she told me she was out and about doing an activity with her friend. I responded that I made it home fine, told her what I was up to, and then mentioned how I had a very nice time with her. I figured ok, that was nice, probably not much of a need for anything else on that day. Then she texts me at 10:30pm shortly after I fell asleep. I responded the next morning(Sunday) and we chatted for a minute. Then she texts me Sunday night. Monday came and I had planned to text her that day, but as early as 12pm she's texting me from work telling me about her lunch. Then Tuesday was next up and she reaches out that evening sharing something she was up to. Again, all my responses were cordial, proper, and some even flirty.

Wednesday is finally when I beat her to the punch, so to speak, and at 12pm asked her out for drinks after work. She had to work late and couldn't make it, but thanked me for the invite, before sharing photos of what she was working on at work. There was no counter offer and no hint of when she might be free, even after I wrote in response to her not being able to go, to let me know when she has some free time as I'd like to get together again. That was it. Things were never the same after that. Didn't hear from her at all for days and finally Monday I reached out which led to the events that we are at now which I will not rewrite.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It was a pattern of only a few days, first of all. Its not like this chick was reaching out to me everyday for 2-3 weeks and I never reached out to her or never asked her out. I barely had the chance to "lead more" in this short timeframe. The first text was Saturday morning when she asked if I got home alright and she told me she was out and about doing an activity with her friend. I responded that I made it home fine, told her what I was up to, and then mentioned how I had a very nice time with her. I figured ok, that was nice, probably not much of a need for anything else on that day. Then she texts me at 10:30pm shortly after I fell asleep. I responded the next morning(Sunday) and we chatted for a minute. Then she texts me Sunday night. Monday came and I had planned to text her that day, but as early as 12pm she's texting me from work telling me about her lunch. Then Tuesday was next up and she reaches out that evening sharing something she was up to. Again, all my responses were cordial, proper, and some even flirty.

Wednesday is finally when I beat her to the punch, so to speak, and at 12pm asked her out for drinks after work. She had to work late and couldn't make it, but thanked me for the invite, before sharing photos of what she was working on at work. There was no counter offer and no hint of when she might be free, even after I wrote in response to her not being able to go, to let me know when she has some free time as I'd like to get together again. That was it. Things were never the same after that. Didn't hear from her at all for days and finally Monday I reached out which led to the events that we are at now which I will not rewrite.

After reading the last few posts and then re-reading the initial post, I believe you likely were giving off strong BF vibes post sex which is usually a killer to female attraction and explains her fading away...

Essentially, she thought she was getting one thing but then you showed her she was getting something else that she either didn't want or wasn't ready for at that time.

Sounds like she wanted something more casual and you wanted something more serious. Getting too serious too soon, especially post first time sex is going to kill a lot of potential relationships.

 

[Clockwerk50]

She never ghosted me. If you read my post, you'd see she agreed to go out again. The problem was her complete change in communication. Second, as far as 99% she gave me "subtle signs", after I banged her she reached out to me four days in a row. All was well. The convo was fun and a bit flirty. The fifth day I asked her out, she said she had to work late and couldn't (which was true), there was no counter offer, and then the drastic drop off began. This is kind of why I was stumped on this one, as it wasn't a typical slow fade after an iffy date type of scenario. The only logical explanation is she had some sort of post sex clingy syndrome, and then when reality hit about going out again, she realized that she just wasn't crazy into me after all. I thank you and everyone else for chiming in, but I just don't understand the mindset on these forums of where no matter whatever the case, if a chick bows out, its basically the guys fault 100%. Plenty of women ARE whacked and have committment issues, after all.

Is "post-sex clingy syndrome" really the only logical explanation—that she just wasn’t into you anymore? really? Honestly, that sounds more like a coping mechanism than a legitimate reason. People often reassess their feelings after spending time with someone, and it doesn’t necessarily point to deeper psychological issues, emotional breakdowns, or fear of commitment. It could simply be that you exhibited red flags or crossed boundaries that weren't a good fit for her.

Attributing her behaviour to being "whacked" or blaming her for unresolved commitment issues doesn't give you the full picture especially after you were "rejected", it just makes you sound a bit like an ass. You need to look at your own role in what happened, especially since she's the one who distanced herself, and you're now on a forum asking what went wrong. The reality is often that you may have displayed "anti-seductive" traits, or something else beyond your control caught her attention.

All in all, it is not a big deal. Talk to more women.

 

[JST8828]

After reading the last few posts and then re-reading the initial post, I believe you likely were giving off strong BF vibes post sex which is usually a killer to female attraction and explains her fading away...

I'm genuinely asking nicely because I'm curious, but how do you figure I was giving off "strong BF vibes" post sex when she was the one who came to me four days in a row before I then went ahead and asked her out again, to do nothing more than get a drink after work mind you. Was it bc I simply bc I wrote to her the morning after how "I had a very nice time with you last night"? Can't imagine thats what did me in considering I was just being honest and she still continued to text me for days after that. Anything is possible, but just trying to think of anything I may have done wrong to improve for the future.

Is "post-sex clingy syndrome" really the only logical explanation—that she just wasn’t into you anymore? really? Honestly, that sounds more like a coping mechanism than a legitimate reason.

Her post sex cling syndrome isn't why she wasn't into me anymore. Thats not what I said and that would make no sense. If anything, that behavior would have indicated that she had at least some form of a good night with me that night. Something happened days later, in what literally felt like a light switch, that I can for certain tell you didn't happen after something stupid I said or implied. I've been there before and have learned from mistakes. Thats why again, I wonder how this sudden behavior change in her would be anything other than the most likely explanation.... there was another guy.

 

[BeExcellent]

All in all this would boil down to interpersonal dynamics. As a woman I expect a man to lead. That means 1. Initiate & make his interest known in doing so, 2. Asking me out without a bunch of chit chat, 3. Investing in me (time, effort, money), and 4. Being cool/relaxed through the process while showing me I'm important to him.

This is an interaction over 2 months. OP cannot say there was not enough time for him to reach out (lead) and initiate. I call BS on that.

OP expected her to do most of the work (very passive as @SegaGenesis noted). Passive in a man is a turn off. It isn't masculine.

Addionally after sex you waited 4 days to ask her out and only after she contacted you first for those 4 days? That sunk you. She felt in all liklihood like here she is chasing your passive (or no give a hoot) ass and you didn't make any effort to reward her giving you her body.

Always give positive reinforcement to a woman you have sex with if you'd like to have more sex. That means rewarding her with initiation and attention, not passively expecting her to chase you (be the man) in the interaction.

Just take the feedback you are getting here and re examine your role in the dynamics. Do better next time.