Her sudden, abrupt change in communication. What happened?

[Gamisch]

The almost excessive consistency of the communication

You ,my friend, been love bombed. That alone is a redflag. Women like this know damn well how to be that cutie pie in the beginning.

I admit, it's almost indistinguishable from a "perfect love connection " , but that's why we as MEN should be extra extra careful when a woman starts love bombing. I'd say you don't show your skepticism, but you gotta give a love bomber a month or so to see of she will keep.it up.

Ime between 2 -4 maybe 6 weeks the love bombs will disappear...

Forget about her asap

 

[JST8828]

You ,my friend, been love bombed. That alone is a redflag. Women like this know damn well how to be that cutie pie in the beginning.

I admit, it's almost indistinguishable from a "perfect love connection " , but that's why we as MEN should be extra extra careful when a woman starts love bombing.

Very interesting perspective tbh and one I really never gave much thought to. Many times as men after sex finally happens we're so worried about what our next move should be and how to game, etc etc, that we often forget the woman is actually going through or feeling. I mean she just had sex, which as we all know is 50x more of an emotional/personal thing for women than it is for men, so yes, there's no doubt that "love bombing" after sex, though I wouldn't really call it that to be exact (as she didn't actually say she loves me), is probably quite common. I'd instead look at it as "Post Sex Love Syndrome" where the woman feels extra connected to the man she just let stick his d-ck inside her.

Whatever you want to call it though, it could always be a facade given the fact of how emotional a woman can be, and it would fade, as you said. That could be what happened here, no doubt about it..

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Preamble:
When a chick is really interested in you, she will move mountains to see you. A girl will crawl over broken glass to be with a guy her burning desire wants. Anything less is a sign of insufficient interest. She backs away a mile, you back away 10 miles.

She doesn't and will never care if you want her more or not. She has to want you more.

Times have changed. It is different now, fvcking a girl good and being her texty bestie is not enough to form an attachment these days.

Mental game, charisma and measured mystery will win over being a great fvck that is needy and has a weak frame. Dominance is mostly mental stimulation.

Try not to spend the night with a chick you are barely fvcking. Easy with the texting, gunner. She probably got smothering 24/7 boyfriend vibes from you and maybe that’s the reason for her icy coldness. She came to her senses and freaked out.
Bang her, light pillow talk, then tell her “l have some business I must attend to” and jet out. Rinse and repeat until she upholds oath to the sacred LTR girlfriend status.

1. Delete her contact and messages from your phone for now.

2. Invite her over to your place at 9pm or later for a drink if only communication picks up again from her part. Don't even try to put up a facade of going for dinner or some sh1t.

$ Profit - you bang her and she now falls madly in love with you for treating her as disposable, or you move on to a better chick.

Her distance can also be that she's back to old d!ck or found a new one. It’s tough out there right now to get a good woman d!ckwhipped and committed that doesn’t have the attention span of a gold fish in this vapid technological society.

These types of “vanishing acts” in a sense, are good for you. It's an opportunity to learn and grow, to understand your past weaknesses and improve. At the very least it's an opportunity to develop your emotional resiliency against this kind of nature. This cannot be overstated. Every time a woman has gone cold , I end up getting with one that's even better than the last. Pray. God knows which women belong in your life and which ones don’t. So in a sense, this is a good opportunity to soldier through it.

 

[The Diver]

I'm trying to figure out what in the world happened here and why the momentum with this girl completely fell off,

Everyone is happy to blame the " Another guy in the picture" , when the real answer is simply : "You didn't F--ed her good enough" for her to want more of you.

 

[Gamisch]

Preamble:
When a chick is really interested in you, she will move mountains to see you. A girl will crawl over broken glass to be with a guy her burning desire wants. Anything less is a sign of insufficient interest. She backs away a mile, you back away 10 miles.

She doesn't and will never care if you want her more or not. She has to want you more.

Times have changed. It is different now, fvcking a girl good and being her texty bestie is not enough to form an attachment these days.

Mental game, charisma and measured mystery will win over being a great fvck that is needy and has a weak frame. Dominance is mostly mental stimulation.

Try not to spend the night with a chick you are barely fvcking. Easy with the texting, gunner. She probably got smothering 24/7 boyfriend vibes from you and maybe that’s the reason for her icy coldness. She came to her senses and freaked out.
Bang her, light pillow talk, then tell her “l have some business I must attend to” and jet out. Rinse and repeat until she upholds oath to the sacred LTR girlfriend status.

1. Delete her contact and messages from your phone for now.

2. Invite her over to your place at 9pm or later for a drink if only communication picks up again from her part. Don't even try to put up a facade of going for dinner or some sh1t.

$ Profit - you bang her and she now falls madly in love with you for treating her as disposable, or you move on to a better chick.

Her distance can also be that she's back to old d!ck or found a new one. It’s tough out there right now to get a good woman d!ckwhipped and committed that doesn’t have the attention span of a gold fish in this vapid technological society.

These types of “vanishing acts” in a sense, are good for you. It's an opportunity to learn and grow, to understand your past weaknesses and improve. At the very least it's an opportunity to develop your emotional resiliency against this kind of nature. This cannot be overstated. Every time a woman has gone cold , I end up getting with one that's even better than the last. Pray. God knows which women belong in your life and which ones don’t. So in a sense, this is a good opportunity to soldier through it.

Hallelujah & Amen.

The goal post literally moved: no longer the line is at dating her ( the zero ROI courting phase, feeding her, providing her with attention and validation while getting nothing back). The goalpost/ line nowadays is beyond the bang ,but meanwhile most women will test yo b1tchazz by pretending she is a traditional woman who "needs" proper courtship. The infamous " one man has to play by her rules, while the next man gets to break her rules"..

After the bang you still "have nothing " unless just banging her once was your goal from the get go..but don't think that penetration = deeper connection. Read the last sentence 50 times OP.

 

[Divorced w 3]

OP:

I have to concur with others that four dates in two months is not a connection. When you connect with someone, a few things will go differently:

texts will be warm and she will be looking for your attention
You will have no issue getting into her schedule
Sex will happen in short order
Two months in, if it’s really clicking, you’ll have seen her once a week, moving to possibly twice a week in the back quarter of that situation
You may even be getting love vibes
She will ask for exclusivity
Within weeks you’ll be talking on the phone daily or near so
You will at least have an offer to meet her friends

None of this happened - it’s just not a mutual vibe - she also had no issue taking your money (which you spent way too much of without getting ANY action), be glad you and her didn’t get further here - I wish you the best

 

[JST8828]

Two months in, if it’s really clicking, you’ll have seen her once a week, moving to possibly twice a week in the back quarter of that situation

Not that I disagree that she ended up being not that into me for whatever the reason, but this wasn't a typical two months of dating. We live VERY far apart from each other. Well over an hour. So again, getting together wasn't something that was able to happen casually and quickly like a plate who lived lets say 20 minutes away. Also, she canceled our second date which caused a delay in things. Its as if some people on here think that a slow burn in dating just means there's absolutely nothing there and no chance. One of my previous LTR's started off similarly with a date once every couple of weeks. I guess that was all a facade?

but don't think that penetration = deeper connection.

I'd agree for the most part, but a lot of guys on here seem to, as several posters have commented implying or saying that bc I didn't bang her "good enough", thats the reason she's out. Welcome to SoSuave I guess.

Everyone is happy to blame the " Another guy in the picture" , when the real answer is simply : "You didn't F--ed her good enough" for her to want more of you.

For starters, not that I'd imagine you read every detail before posting, but post sex, this woman was texting me literally every day, with me never texting her once aside from responding to her texts. So it would be hard to beleive that the sex had anything to do with what ended up happening here. But generally speaking, while sex is very important imo, I'm in the mindset where if a girl kicks me to the curb bc the sex wasn't a spectacle and mindblowing the first time, especially after treating her extremely well prior to it all, then its good riddance. And even if sex was that important to a chick where if I banged her amazingly and that was what bought me more time and dates with her, is that a woman I really want to connect with? Someone that puts sex on a pedestal and puts more stock in my d-ck than me as a person? Sorry, but no.

Try not to spend the night with a chick you are barely fvcking. Easy with the texting, gunner. She probably got smothering 24/7 boyfriend vibes from you and maybe that’s the reason for her icy coldness. She came to her senses and freaked out.

This chick texted me the second I got home the morning after banging asking if I made it home alright with something else about how her day was going, then again that night, then the next day, then the day after that, and then the day after THAT. In that entire timeframe I never texted her once on my own. Only responded to her messages to me. So I'm not sure where on Earth you get "easy with the texting" from, but I'd be willing to bet you misread a previous post of mine completely. The only "boyfriend vibe" text I ever sent her was in response to her text the morning after asking if I got home ok when in part of my text I told her how I had a very nice time with her last night. Certainly that didn't turn her off if she continued to text me again and again. All that said, the rest of your post was spot on and I thank you.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Not that I disagree that she ended up being not that into me for whatever the reason, but this wasn't a typical two months of dating. We live VERY far apart from each other. Well over an hour. So again, getting together wasn't something that was able to happen casually and quickly like a plate who lived lets say 20 minutes away. Also, she canceled our second date which caused a delay in things. Its as if some people on here think that a slow burn in dating just means there's absolutely nothing there and no chance. One of my previous LTR's started off similarly with a date once every couple of weeks. I guess that was all a facade?


I'd agree for the most part, but a lot of guys on here seem to, as several posters have commented implying or saying that bc I didn't bang her "good enough", thats the reason she's out. Welcome to SoSuave I guess.


For starters, not that I'd imagine you read every detail before posting, but post sex, this woman was texting me literally every day, with me never texting her once aside from responding to her texts. So it would be hard to beleive that the sex had anything to do with what ended up happening here. But generally speaking, while sex is very important imo, I'm in the mindset where if a girl kicks me to the curb bc the sex wasn't a spectacle and mindblowing the first time, especially after treating her extremely well prior to it all, then its good riddance. And even if sex was that important to a chick where if I banged her amazingly and that was what bought me more time and dates with her, is that a woman I really want to connect with? Someone that puts sex on a pedestal and puts more stock in my d-ck than me as a person? Sorry, but no.


This chick texted me the second I got home the morning after banging asking if I made it home alright with something else about how her day was going, then again that night, then the next day, then the day after that, and then the day after THAT. In that entire timeframe I never texted her once on my own. Only responded to her messages to me. So I'm not sure where on Earth you get "easy with the texting" from, but I'd be willing to bet you misread a previous post of mine completely. The only "boyfriend vibe" text I ever sent her was in response to her text the morning after asking if I got home ok when in part of my text I told her how I had a very nice time with her last night. Certainly that didn't turn her off if she continued to text me again and again. All that said, the rest of your post was spot on and I thank you.

Always amused when someone starts a reply with ‘not that I disagree’ and then writes six paragraphs trying to convince me that what I said doesn’t apply this time.

I dated a woman who lived 75 minutes from me on a weekly basis for a year. It progressed quickly within weeks. She lives with me now. This woman could walk to work and she was commuting 90 minutes daily to that job without a car from my home within 12 months. I had no idea until recently that was going balls deep in debt to make it work. Only recently did it click and she had to say something and we worked it out. How do you think I pulled those bullet points out. I knew I cared deeply for her in short order and I made it work. You didn’t - stop making excuses.

 

[Gamisch]

Not that I disagree that she ended up being not that into me for whatever the reason, but this wasn't a typical two months of dating. We live VERY far apart from each other. Well over an hour. So again, getting together wasn't something that was able to happen casually and quickly like a plate who lived lets say 20 minutes away. Also, she canceled our second date which caused a delay in things. Its as if some people on here think that a slow burn in dating just means there's absolutely nothing there and no chance. One of my previous LTR's started off similarly with a date once every couple of weeks. I guess that was all a facade?


I'd agree for the most part, but a lot of guys on here seem to, as several posters have commented implying or saying that bc I didn't bang her "good enough", thats the reason she's out. Welcome to SoSuave I guess.


For starters, not that I'd imagine you read every detail before posting, but post sex, this woman was texting me literally every day, with me never texting her once aside from responding to her texts. So it would be hard to beleive that the sex had anything to do with what ended up happening here. But generally speaking, while sex is very important imo, I'm in the mindset where if a girl kicks me to the curb bc the sex wasn't a spectacle and mindblowing the first time, especially after treating her extremely well prior to it all, then its good riddance. And even if sex was that important to a chick where if I banged her amazingly and that was what bought me more time and dates with her, is that a woman I really want to connect with? Someone that puts sex on a pedestal and puts more stock in my d-ck than me as a person? Sorry, but no.


This chick texted me the second I got home the morning after banging asking if I made it home alright with something else about how her day was going, then again that night, then the next day, then the day after that, and then the day after THAT. In that entire timeframe I never texted her once on my own. Only responded to her messages to me. So I'm not sure where on Earth you get "easy with the texting" from, but I'd be willing to bet you misread a previous post of mine completely. The only "boyfriend vibe" text I ever sent her was in response to her text the morning after asking if I got home ok when in part of my text I told her how I had a very nice time with her last night. Certainly that didn't turn her off if she continued to text me again and again. All that said, the rest of your post was spot on and I thank you.

It's the total sum of everything during "relationship ". Nobody (not even you) knows exactly why she left. All we can tell so far is :
-you saw her 4 times in two months.
- You had daily contact with her
( YES ,it's difficult to do otherwise but I agree that this is an ill formula where you give away most of your power.)

-you spend the night and cuddled ect. ( too much too soon as Gio said better to hit and run)
- shorty after sex she disappeared. It faded out like the end of a song until it was complete crickets. To me the "after care " text are meaningless if she follows it up by ghosting you.

To most of us this is enough information to draw conclusions. We all been there. We all been with a woman/ baddie who left us on read without any explanation, but when we looked back ..thre might be a few critical moments where we mightve messed it up . A good student tries to analyse the situation from a helicopter view so he can avoid The same blunders in tbe future.

 

[JST8828]

We all been with a woman/ baddie who left us on read without any explanation, but when we looked back ..thre might be a few critical moments where we mightve messed it up . A good student tries to analyse the situation from a helicopter view so he can avoid The same blunders in tbe future.

I'm sorry but I just fail to view myself as a failure in this particular situation. I think this was a Sex and the City type of 40 year old post wall never married woman who is playing the typical game of waiting for her perfect knight and shining armor that will never come and the second she felt even the slightest of mediocre vibes about me, her brain decided to say f-ck it, onto the next sucker.

I didn't do anything wrong, or at the very least not terribly wrong to justify being blown off. What was I supposed to do when she canceled the second date after saying she wasn't feeling well? Tell her to take an Advil and come out anyway so that way we could squeeze 5 dates into 2 months which would give me a better shot at things? It's as if I'm being told I made blunder after blunder (i.e. I paid for her dinner before I banged her. What a criminal act!) with this chick like I'm 19 again texting her every other day asking how her day went while taking her to a 5 star restaurant on a first date with flowers in hand on the second. I'm not that guy. Never really was, but just making a point.

 

[The Diver]

So it would be hard to believe will lose the sex had anythingtakesdo with what ended up happening here. But generally speaking, while sex is very important imo, I'm in the mindset where if a girl kicks me to the curb bc the sex wasn't a spectacle and mindblowing the first time, especially after treating her extremely well before it all, then it good riddance.

Yes, I did read everything.
Look, it's not about pedestal secx, it's about the simple fact that a girl wants to be F**d good, this is reality. She sample your skills, (or she didn't like sometimes about you in the bed,) and wasn't impressed enough to want more of the same.
If I reverse the scenario, I won't stay with a woman who is boring in bed, or I will lose attraction once she takes off her clothes regardless of how great a person she is. So it's not hard to imagine women do the same, and they certainly do.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I think this was a Sex and the City type of 40 year old post wall never married woman who is playing the typical game of waiting for her perfect knight and shining armor

and you’re not? How old are you if you’re dating a woman of that age?

Yes, I did read everything.
Look, it's not about pedestal secx, it's about the simple fact that a girl wants to be F**d good, this is reality. She sample your skills, (or she didn't like sometimes about you in the bed,) and wasn't impressed enough to want more of the same.
If I reverse the scenario, I won't stay with a woman who is boring in bed, or I will lose attraction once she takes off her clothes regardless of how great a person she is. So it's not hard to imagine women do the same, and they certainly do.

You're wasting your energy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Not that I disagree that she ended up being not that into me for whatever the reason, but this wasn't a typical two months of dating. We live VERY far apart from each other. Well over an hour. So again, getting together wasn't something that was able to happen casually and quickly like a plate who lived lets say 20 minutes away. Also, she canceled our second date which caused a delay in things. Its as if some people on here think that a slow burn in dating just means there's absolutely nothing there and no chance. One of my previous LTR's started off similarly with a date once every couple of weeks. I guess that was all a facade?


I'd agree for the most part, but a lot of guys on here seem to, as several posters have commented implying or saying that bc I didn't bang her "good enough", thats the reason she's out. Welcome to SoSuave I guess.


For starters, not that I'd imagine you read every detail before posting, but post sex, this woman was texting me literally every day, with me never texting her once aside from responding to her texts. So it would be hard to beleive that the sex had anything to do with what ended up happening here. But generally speaking, while sex is very important imo, I'm in the mindset where if a girl kicks me to the curb bc the sex wasn't a spectacle and mindblowing the first time, especially after treating her extremely well prior to it all, then its good riddance. And even if sex was that important to a chick where if I banged her amazingly and that was what bought me more time and dates with her, is that a woman I really want to connect with? Someone that puts sex on a pedestal and puts more stock in my d-ck than me as a person? Sorry, but no.


This chick texted me the second I got home the morning after banging asking if I made it home alright with something else about how her day was going, then again that night, then the next day, then the day after that, and then the day after THAT. In that entire timeframe I never texted her once on my own. Only responded to her messages to me. So I'm not sure where on Earth you get "easy with the texting" from, but I'd be willing to bet you misread a previous post of mine completely. The only "boyfriend vibe" text I ever sent her was in response to her text the morning after asking if I got home ok when in part of my text I told her how I had a very nice time with her last night. Certainly that didn't turn her off if she continued to text me again and again. All that said, the rest of your post was spot on and I thank you.

The easiest way to separate yourself from other men with a woman is via your skills and abilities in the bedroom since most men are sorely lacking in this area.

Why men refuse to accept this truth and say "if I am not good in the bedroom, and she leaves then good riddance" is honestly mind boggling to me.

It would be like a guy going on a date using pics from when he was in shape but being 50 lbs heavier and fat and saying "well, if she doesn't accept the way I look, then good riddance".

You have the ability to control your skills in that domain and make your life easier. Why wouldn't you want to improve on them?

Guys spend all kinds of time and energy on improving their looks, improving their body, improving their finances, their cars, their houses, etc...but rarely do they spend any time improving their abilities in the bedroom which is where they would get the most return on their investment with women.

Truly mind boggling to me.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I'm sorry but I just fail to view myself as a failure in this particular situation. I think this was a Sex and the City type of 40 year old post wall never married woman who is playing the typical game of waiting for her perfect knight and shining armor that will never come and the second she felt even the slightest of mediocre vibes about me, her brain decided to say f-ck it, onto the next sucker.

I didn't do anything wrong, or at the very least not terribly wrong to justify being blown off. What was I supposed to do when she canceled the second date after saying she wasn't feeling well? Tell her to take an Advil and come out anyway so that way we could squeeze 5 dates into 2 months which would give me a better shot at things? It's as if I'm being told I made blunder after blunder (i.e. I paid for her dinner before I banged her. What a criminal act!) with this chick like I'm 19 again texting her every other day asking how her day went while taking her to a 5 star restaurant on a first date with flowers in hand on the second. I'm not that guy. Never really was, but just making a point.

If you live as far away as you mentioned, she probably knew that things wouldn’t develop into a serious relationship, as long-term connections often form organically. She may have sensed this from your first interactions, and while she might not have managed your expectations well, it’s easy to see why distance could be a barrier.

You might not have done anything wrong, but perhaps you stopped being fun. You went from being her exciting plaything to becoming too consistent, too familiar, and too predictable. Maybe you became a bit too timid, having de-escalated your dynamic along the way somehow. Maybe your dates were mundane. When people say you didn’t please her enough, it’s not just about the physical aspect; it’s also about the tension built before the act, the surprises, the thrill, and the boldness you use her body with after restraining yourself during the times you are away from each other.

You don’t need to argue with me about why things unfolded this way; you have all the details of your actions and interactions, and I’m working with your original post. However, one thing is certain: she found something else to engage her—be it a new partner, a vibrator, or a new hobby—something that sparked more interest than what you provided. Ultimately, the long commute may not have been worth it.

 

[Gamisch]

I'm sorry but I just fail to view myself as a failure in this particular situation. I think this was a Sex and the City type of 40 year old post wall never married woman who is playing the typical game of waiting for her perfect knight and shining armor that will never come and the second she felt even the slightest of mediocre vibes about me, her brain decided to say f-ck it, onto the next sucker.

I didn't do anything wrong, or at the very least not terribly wrong to justify being blown off. What was I supposed to do when she canceled the second date after saying she wasn't feeling well? Tell her to take an Advil and come out anyway so that way we could squeeze 5 dates into 2 months which would give me a better shot at things? It's as if I'm being told I made blunder after blunder (i.e. I paid for her dinner before I banged her. What a criminal act!) with this chick like I'm 19 again texting her every other day asking how her day went while taking her to a 5 star restaurant on a first date with flowers in hand on the second. I'm not that guy. Never really was, but just making a point.

Failure depends on the goal at hand..I don't say you are a failure, just that this mission has failed.

I had something similar happen to me. Banged a woman, went a little too hard on the familiarity department. Next you thing you know...silence. didn't see it coming ( if I did I mightve changed my strategy)but looking back..there were PLENTY of signs she wasn't in it 100%. Not enough for me to even make a thread so perhaps yours was more into you than mine to me, the outcome is the same...ghosted.

to allude to how we as men behave 9r dont behave: its on YOU as a man to figure out what you could of perhaps should've done differently. That's where the growth is to be found .

Ofcourse she is batshyte crazy. They all are. Yet we wanna penetrate them...so you have to deal with it. Neither your nor mine will give a thorough explanation to why she walked away. But 99% she gave you subtle signs untill she's like F it he doesn't get the message and poof ghost..

 

[JST8828]

But 99% she gave you subtle signs untill she's like F it he doesn't get the message and poof ghost..

She never ghosted me. If you read my post, you'd see she agreed to go out again. The problem was her complete change in communication. Second, as far as 99% she gave me "subtle signs", after I banged her she reached out to me four days in a row. All was well. The convo was fun and a bit flirty. The fifth day I asked her out, she said she had to work late and couldn't (which was true), there was no counter offer, and then the drastic drop off began. This is kind of why I was stumped on this one, as it wasn't a typical slow fade after an iffy date type of scenario. The only logical explanation is she had some sort of post sex clingy syndrome, and then when reality hit about going out again, she realized that she just wasn't crazy into me after all. I thank you and everyone else for chiming in, but I just don't understand the mindset on these forums of where no matter whatever the case, if a chick bows out, its basically the guys fault 100%. Plenty of women ARE whacked and have committment issues, after all.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Y'all have missed something very important. Because @JST8828 expected the woman to constantly initiate communication. This is dumb.

But for awhile she did exactly that........

And OP brags about it. Meanwhile the woman gets the unequivocal message that:

A. OP does not give a rats ass about her
B. OP is either an ass hole looking to get laid & that's it or at the very least he's not a gentleman.
C. Even though she was interested at first OP blew it by never reaching out like a real man.....
D. So poof! On to a better, more gentlemanly option.

So yes its done. But OP expected this woman to be the man in the interaction. That made her feel weird and used, so out of her oen self respect she's gone.

Facepalm.

 

[ruins]

OP - I went through something similar recently (even have a thread about it on the first page). Smokeshow in her 40's. Consider this your initiation.

 

[JST8828]

Meanwhile the woman gets the unequivocal message that:

A. OP does not give a rats ass about her
B. OP is either an ass hole looking to get laid & that's it or at the very least he's not a gentleman.
C. Even though she was interested at first OP blew it by never reaching out like a real man.....
D. So poof! On to a better, more gentlemanly option.

So yes its done. But OP expected this woman to be the man in the interaction. That made her feel weird and used, so out of her one self respect she's gone.

Yes, me responding flirty and nicely to all her texts while also asking her out a few days after we spent the night together definitely sends all those unequivocal messages and definitely made her feel used!

 

[Sega Genesis]

Yes, me responding flirty and nicely to all her texts while also asking her out a few days after we spent the night together definitely sends all those unequivocal messages and definitely made her feel used!

I'm not faulting you entirely as I believe it takes two people to make/break a relationship however read letter "B" again from @BeExcellent list.

Such men do the same as what you described you do - responding to her texts in a flirty "nice" way but rarely if ever initiating themselves, inviting her out (and paying) when their goal is getting laid.

Often times he's got her on rotation and spinning a few "plates" simultaneously.

I am not suggesting this was your intention or that you're spinning plates in fact I don't believe you are. Just giving you a different way of viewing it from a female perspective.

I am curious how this pattern developed wherein SHE was doing all the initiating and YOU were responding? And why you weren't leading more? If at all?

It's quite passive and for many women, it gets old real fast and they will push back to determine if the man will step up.

Again, just giving it to you from a female perspective and what she may have possibly been thinking and feeling.

Call it "girl game" whatever, we ALL play (both women and men) in some form or fashion to protect ourselves from getting hurt.