For the last two months we've gone on a few dates, four to be exact. I'm now 39, have been on many dates over the years and feel I have the distinction of being able to tell if there's really true chemistry between me and another woman over me just being infactuated with her bc she's hot/cute. This felt like something real. A connection. We're around the same age too, fyi. Anyway, after the second date specifically, which was an amazing time, she'd text me quite consistently, usually sharing something about her day. Prior to our last date, which was our fourth, she literally texted me almost everyday before we finally set up what was a nice dinner celebrating a promotion she got at work. I paid and it was a pretty penny too. She then finally invites me back to her place and I spent the night. She seemed quite adament about it too, whereas I felt maybe I would have driven home late.
The sex was decent but we both made the best of it as we both agreed that sometimes it takes getting used to each others bodies and chemistry. We eventually drifted off and she latched onto me quite a bit during the night. I know chicks like to cuddle in general, but this just felt like very, very good vibes. While it wasn't the most perfect 10/10 night imo, this also most certainly wasn't just a hang and bang atmosphere. The next morning she texted me asking if I got home ok while also sharing something about her day. She texts again the following day and then the day after THAT as well. All seemed very well and it appeared things were possibly progressing to another level now. To be clear- Early on we sort of both made it known that while ultimately we would like something long term, right now are "just looking to date". Her words which were agreed upon by me as I am in fact in a similar mindset. That said, again, here she is now having me crash at her place and texting me virtually everyday. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I wanted things to progress more after that night. I'm not 19 anymore, after all.
Then after the multiple days of communication from her following the sleepover/sex, the next day after nothing from her for the day, I reached out and sporadically asked if she wanted to get a drink after work. I thought about asking to make plans for the weekend, but I decided on this different route for a change. She said thanks for the invite but she had to work late for something on this night. She even texted me photos of what she was doing at work that night and we talked about it. It was interesting to note however that there was NO counter offer from her here which I found a bit odd. Then, in what was the real turning point here in all of this, I did not hear from her for three days straight which felt extremely odd. We had really not gone more than 2 days in the past month or so without a text. Given how nice things were progressing before and AFTER our last date, something just felt off in my gut.
Finally I reached back out and we discussed going to see some live music. She mentioned a band she liked, asked if i'd be interested, and how she'd take a look at dates and see what she had open. 2 days went by and not a word from her. Now the vibes were really feeling negative. So I then decide to reach out mentioning something about the band we wanted to see which included some research on their schedule and how it might be difficult to see them given our work schedules. There was no hello, how are you, or any kind of thank you or dare I say apology for her not getting back to me. Instead she responded with a single short sentence randomly mentioning some other band she would want to see instead, perhaps implying that they would be a better option. Everything just felt strange and impersonal. Then she mentions a date she'd be free and it is 10 days out. Mind you we were already 10 days from our LAST date (Where i slept over). I say i'll have to look into this other band. Then she randomly mentions another band she likes too. Nothing else. Just the name of the band. I then told her ok I'd look into the other band and she simply "Liked" my text. That was that. Nothing more.
At that point it was all but confirmed to me that this was now a slow fade of sorts, with the insult to injury being that I felt as if I was now some sort of "Date Dispenser" for this woman who still might want to use me for a night out. A woman who just a week earlier at one point seemed like she was almost appearing as someone that could be a GF soon. And lastly, perhaps the most important thing to note, is aside from her short, brief and impersonal slow fade style texts after not getting back to me after saying she would, there's no mention about who might be paying for tickets to see this band or anything of the such. Suddenly I started realizing that this woman is also probably hoping I just pick up two tix so she can have a night out in the city seeing a favorite band of hers. Well, not with me, sorry, as I've been almost completely turned off by all of this at this point.
I'm trying to figure out what in the world happened here and why the momentum with this girl completely fell off, why she's now acting like a typical online sex in the city type of plate with no substance. It's interesting how gung-ho she seemed after our sex and sleepover, and then at some point in the middle of that following week, after I asked her out again for a drink, things just changed instantly leading to silence from her and now extremely impersonal and brief texts. She also has not texted me since, though its only been 1.5 days. Still, the feeling is there and this feels over. I know we may never know, but I'm convinced something actually happened and this wasn't just a random mid-week change of heart after thinking about our night spent together. I think some other guy came into the picture or something to that effect and now I instantly dropped to option #2. I could be wrong. She could just be very strange. But something has changed.
