Help! Possible Cluster B- Feeling Totally Lost

[SmackinIsaiah]

Yo, long time lurker for the past few weeks, haven't posted though in about five years.

Huge long story here, so

I am totally ****ing lost, feeling emotionally destroyed
Warning Long Back story:

About a month ago I left my apartment that I shared with my LTR of 2 years. We had dated 5 years ago, which is what brought me to this board, split after 6 months and were apart for 3 years (during that time wrote lots of angry music with her as a muse). We rekindled the relationship in May of 2009 and moved in together (huge mistake) March 2010.

This girl is a total HB9, incredibly beautiful, smart, hottest sex, passionate, intelligent, so fun to be around during the good times, but when it got bad she became the most passive aggressive mind ****er you will ever EVER meet, yet totally in love with her she was physically and intellectually my dream woman, the highest highs, total wife material during the white times.

I have been doing a lot of reading on this board about cluster B's and I gotta tell you, she met loads of criteria here but is so incredibly high functioning and the consummate actress. A true walking paradox

We have such a checkered passionate high and low history I could write a whole book on it, but I won't get too into that. Bottom line is this girl has major major issues. The first year we were back together it was the happiest I had ever been, even moreso than the first time we dated when we were a lot younger FYI I am 27, she is 22. Before we first started dating I realized she was a major game player, pushed and pulled til she got attention from guys and then dropped them, she tried to pull it on me but I was probably spinning 6 plates at the time and was never phased and oblivious if anything. But eventually she lured me in and we dated for 6 months before we split.

For 3 years eachother when we were apart, but the first breakup was so ****ed up (internet infidelity on my part, major personal/drug issues on hers) that we couldn't be together, although we stayed in sporadic contact as I was in an unpassionate rebound LTR and god knows what she was doing

We moved in together and had completely mapped out our lives, our wedding, kids names, dogs names everything. I was totally in love and ate it all up. I cut back on drinking, quit smoking, was dressing better, real self improvement for myself first, and then her. Things got rocky though and we started getting really tense with eachother, she hated a majority of my friends and inevitably I was always walking on eggshells as the months wore on, ANYTHING IRRITATED HER, she would go to bed at 9 to get up at 6 for work, I would stay up and work on my degree, factor in that she always has had trouble sleeping.

Bottom line is, the passion wore out, she was resenting me as I became more and more AFC and little of a challenge, and I her as I felt like my world had become isolated and started hanging out with my buddies and feeling solace in the part time broadcasting gig i was doing (which she came out to support ONCE!). The sex dried up late in the year, but I didn't press it that much as there are big underlying issues there from her past. In the span of less than a year she went from telling me that she would want to die first when we grew old in marriage so she didn't have to carry on the burden of living without me (as she said she would probably off herself if i died first)....pretty insane, now I'm questioning everything she's ever said or did.

Late february she went out with her soccer buddies, which was cool since she never ever went out, we would usually spend weekends at home sincei t was winter on opposite couches as we were both so worn out from work( I thought we just hit a dry spell - Wrong I was) I went out that night with buddies came back at 3 am, she's not home, I was like whatever, have some time to myself, so I passed out, and she got back home. We got in bed, had a nice morning. Then she tells me shes going out again tonight, thought that was weird. Went to my parents for dinner, she got a call left the room, then we headed back and there was one of her "buddies" to pick her up.

Bottom line is she didn't get back til the next day, I didn't accuse, I just acted cold as **** when she did. Played it off, then said we needed to talk the next day. Basically I asked her if she was happy, she totally delayed and basically admitted that she wasn't happy, and she doesn't feel the way she did when we were not living together, passionate and all that ****. After a long talk, she said she needed space, and I said **** it and left. (I wanted to talk about budgeting for the house we were going to buy (which she always pressed) but she brushed it off)

We had a talk a week later, where she was so cold and so completely different it blew my ****ing mind. Not even the same person at all. She said she wanted to break up, I said fine. Then we got to talking, both saying we wantd it to be like it was. That moving in was a mistake. We had two cats together, and i told her that she should leave if she feels like that, then she pulled her manipulative card and the next thing I knew I was leaving. Which I'm fine with now as I'm really gearing up to get a house and it'd be hell living there with the memories. So I left that night in a state of prolonged limbo as it seemed we were back together, still taking space, but wouldn't be living together. Dumb dumb dumb.


I no-contact her for two weeks, she texted that i had mail, and even called me (later drunkingly texted asking if i called her) but realize i need to get my **** thats still there, so i finally respond to a text. She's asking me if I've found a place (not telling her I'm getting a house as that would be a great **** you)


I went to get my stuff Monday, she knew I'd be there (but was at work) as I told her i was coming after work. Walked in, the bedroom is rearranged. Grab some clothes, and holy **** there is an UNOPENED condom on the window sill. I almost lost it. Packed up my **** and told her I'd be there later to get all the small crap that was in drawers etc. She chickened out of seeing me later on that night as she had a "late meeting" I've acted totally cold to her since but haven't mentioned the condom. Keep in mind this girl has a long long history of pulling **** tests like this (posing as friends on msn, push/pull tactics, and other delusionary ****). My closest friends that distrusted her from the start say it was probably a **** test to see if she could get a reaction out of me, which so far I haven't succumbed to. I mean a ****ing condom! is she sick? I dont ****ing deserve this.

I told her I wanted the rent, insurance papers etc. very cold but sternly. She said okay, and that she had packed up the rest of my stuff. She said "I hate this". But isn't that what she wanted. For all I know all signs point to her banging a guy, but she would never tell me that. She knows I'd close that door forever, which I should be doing anyways.

Bottomline is, I can't get anything done. I can't focus on classes which I'm so far behind on, two papers due tomorrow, one is super late. I feel completely ****ing alone, just in this long twisted PTSD depression. I feel worse than I did 5 years ago, and that story was straight out of Traffic. I even started seeing the shrink i was seeing after the first breakup.

I've been such a prick to so many girls over the years, spinning plates you name it, but with her it was different. I have never had anyone in my life have such a grip on my state.

All I can think of is that house, a possible new job, and starting a new life. But **** this is so hard. I'm at work late cause i don't even want to go home (living at my bros)

Sorry for the winded post. Been contemplating posting for awhile, I had to get it out.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Isiah,
When it comes to cluster B nothing surprises us any more.

 

[ecko280]

you need new pu$$y. That will help you forget about everything.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Who cares if she has a condom there?

She is obviously a trashy girl. Who cares if she was pulling a sh*t test with the condom. It doesn't matter. You aren't together and you will never be back with her (I hope you don't take her back.... It will never be an happy ending). Just don't think about it but it doesn't really matter how that condom got there. She is not your girlfriend anymore. Just another trashy wh0re in the world.

 

[jophil28]

About a month ago I left my apartment that I shared with my LTR of 2 years. We had dated 5 years ago, which is what brought me to this board, split after 6 months .

"split after 6 months'...that was when you last had control. Why didn't you just keep walking?

 

[SmackinIsaiah]

Re-reading this thread and my original post is a real eye opener.

 

[Die Hard]

Take control over yourself and your life. You are a victim of a cluster B witch and are now living in this state of PTSD because of her! She has had such great effect on you, your thoughts, your emotions...it's as if she has held you hostage, not physically but emotionally.

Now it's time to break loose... Take control of yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, your life! They are yours to control, not hers! Nobody gets to control those things except YOU!

This will be your focuss from now on: taking charge over your own thoughts, your own emotions and your own life. Anything standing in the way of that goal should be considered as a threat to your well-being. Any thought about the positives you experienced with her, any longing for her, all that sh!t is intolerable. You cannot allow yourself to link any positive thoughts or feelings to this witch ever again. She is the enemy, she is bad for you.

The moments you feel alone, it is NOT an option to comfort yourself with positive memories about her. Even though you have no other way of comforting yourself, then it's still better to wallow in your loneliness and miserableness than to reach for comforting thoughts about her. You should rather embrace your feelings of loneliness and miserableness instead of embracing comforting thoughts of her. Just fight through it, push on, struggle on. You will prevail...


P.S. look up 'Stockholm Syndrome' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome)

There is a lot of overlap between that situation and being a victim of a cluster B witch. The human mind can be twisted and turned until it eventually believes that your hostage taker is actually your benefactor. When you're recovering from a relationship with a cluster B witch, you have to readjust your mind. You have been taken hostage emotionally: she was your hostage taker, not your benefactor, make no mistake about it! Becoming and staying fully aware of this fact, is imperative for recovery.

 

[hithard]

I don't really care what she does because there is an easy solution. In the greater scheme of things You are (have) the problem

 

[MonkeyButt]

Run Forest, Run!!!

Sorry for the grief Smackin.

Best thing you can do with that one is run from it.
Whether the condom be games or OM, doesn't matter. (smells like games to me though).

My ex of 15 years has a bad case of the NPD's. With a partner like that, your relationship will be one of constant conflict, or you lose yourself because she ends up being the woman to "complete" you.

No contact,
Get working out,
Get something strange,
Get meds if necessary (these breakups can cause Major depression disorder),
Get living again.

After a year of licking my wounds, I'm dating again, seeing the light, and the future looks bright.

ps: my ex was a beautiful, 11 year younger Dr. and at this point none of that matters. I'm free......

M

 

[Johnnyventana]

OP: Read this - http://www.sharischreiber.com/dance.html (not that you're NPD, but most of the 'dance' still applies.

 

[SmackinIsaiah]

Thanks guys, Johnny I read that article this morning and it blew my mind. I'm not necessarily NPD but have had similar traits. Unreal parallels with her though.

On the bright side, I snagged that new job with an office and a secretary

 

[Johnnyventana]

Awesome about the job!

 

[deuce42]

I would like to add to this one Isiah. You seem like a good guy. Here is my take on this hole cluster B issue and I hope to share it with you:

One of the real problems with Cluster B's - which I feel a lot of people never acknowledge or seem to gloss over a bit- is that the same aspects that make the Cluster B a Cluster B, are also some of the most seductive and magnetic aspects of their personalities. By this I mean, they are often amazing at building temptation within guys, they are usually women with really good conversation skills and know how to work that almost effortlessly. They are usually very intelligent and very interesting chicks, and above all else and more dangerously, to the unsuspecting guy they can seem to be incredibly FUN!! I mean they are usually just a lot more magnetic and you can have more fun with them than other chicks. There may even be occasions when you meet an HB9, yet you may find the Cluster B just has this way of making everything electrifying. And this is where the absolute danger lies with these manipulative delusional chicks!!

Its like a drug you can become addicted to, particularly early on when their seemingly amazing qualities seem to appear. Then you get to know them better all the horrible cracks in their cruel and nasty personality's start to appear. Like I say, the very aspects of their personalities which make them seem so amazing at first are the same aspects that cause their dangerous cruel Cluster B traits. Let's face it, the fun sexy, unpredictable girl can be very magnetic in the same way that the bad boy can be to women. The unpredictability adds to excitement even if we don't realise that's whats happening or even if they don't appear to be doing it deliberately. Often these chicks are so self absorbed they delude themselves into thinking they are victims and think themselves to be nice people.

Now here's my point, everyone tells you just to move on and put the girl behind you as an emotionally unstable woman. You're usually expected to deny yourself the chance to feel sorry, sad, or burnt by the whole experience, even if you have put a few years of your life into it. But in my mind just telling someone to do this doesn't make the pain or the intensity go away - usually because the poor victim dude can only remember or reflect upon some of those amazing qualities manipulative Cluster B bi%ch has. This same "inability to let go" can also be worse when the dude starts to meet other chicks who aren't as seductive, smart and fun - because even if he tries not to, he usually ends up comparing them to the Cluster B who just ripped his freaken b%lls off and the outcome there is never good.


So here is my advice with this scenario for what it's worth and its just my opinion. Don't ignore or negate the chicks qualities that were so seductive. Don't pretend its all just crap and move on without dealing with that fact. Reflect on it, reflect on the things about her which you thought were magnetic and just briefly enjoy the time when it was good. Accept that those qualities were what drew you to her - BUT THEN YOU REALLY HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE to yourself that those good things are not real at all, they are based upon a fantasy or a fascade these chicks create and it's not who they really are! Seriously acknowledge this fact. Acknowledge that what they are in reality are dangerous manipulative women whom are really highly insecure and who usually have poor self esteem. Their self esteem issues, whilst not obvious at all, create carnage and painful mess to people around them in a selfish way. What seems like great qualities is a lie. Its all a smokescreen.

You are truly better than this sh%t man. Acknowledge this, acknowledge how they seduce you and why they (or "she" in this case) did it, and then treat yourself with respect! You owe it to yourself. You deserve it.

Cheers

 

[Heretolearn]

I would like to add to this one Isiah. You seem like a good guy. Here is my take on this hole cluster B issue and I hope to share it with you:

One of the real problems with Cluster B's - which I feel a lot of people never acknowledge or seem to gloss over a bit- is that the same aspects that make the Cluster B a Cluster B, are also some of the most seductive and magnetic aspects of their personalities. By this I mean, they are often amazing at building temptation within guys, they are usually women with really good conversation skills and know how to work that almost effortlessly. They are usually very intelligent and very interesting chicks, and above all else and more dangerously, to the unsuspecting guy they can seem to be incredibly FUN!! I mean they are usually just a lot more magnetic and you can have more fun with them than other chicks. There may even be occasions when you meet an HB9, yet you may find the Cluster B just has this way of making everything electrifying. And this is where the absolute danger lies with these manipulative delusional chicks!!

Its like a drug you can become addicted to, particularly early on when their seemingly amazing qualities seem to appear. Then you get to know them better all the horrible cracks in their cruel and nasty personality's start to appear. Like I say, the very aspects of their personalities which make them seem so amazing at first are the same aspects that cause their dangerous cruel Cluster B traits. Let's face it, the fun sexy, unpredictable girl can be very magnetic in the same way that the bad boy can be to women. The unpredictability adds to excitement even if we don't realise that's whats happening or even if they don't appear to be doing it deliberately. Often these chicks are so self absorbed they delude themselves into thinking they are victims and think themselves to be nice people.

Now here's my point, everyone tells you just to move on and put the girl behind you as an emotionally unstable woman. You're usually expected to deny yourself the chance to feel sorry, sad, or burnt by the whole experience, even if you have put a few years of your life into it. But in my mind just telling someone to do this doesn't make the pain or the intensity go away - usually because the poor victim dude can only remember or reflect upon some of those amazing qualities manipulative Cluster B bi%ch has. This same "inability to let go" can also be worse when the dude starts to meet other chicks who aren't as seductive, smart and fun - because even if he tries not to, he usually ends up comparing them to the Cluster B who just ripped his freaken b%lls off and the outcome there is never good.


So here is my advice with this scenario for what it's worth and its just my opinion. Don't ignore or negate the chicks qualities that were so seductive. Don't pretend its all just crap and move on without dealing with that fact. Reflect on it, reflect on the things about her which you thought were magnetic and just briefly enjoy the time when it was good. Accept that those qualities were what drew you to her - BUT THEN YOU REALLY HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE to yourself that those good things are not real at all, they are based upon a fantasy or a fascade these chicks create and it's not who they really are! Seriously acknowledge this fact. Acknowledge that what they are in reality are dangerous manipulative women whom are really highly insecure and who usually have poor self esteem. Their self esteem issues, whilst not obvious at all, create carnage and painful mess to people around them in a selfish way. What seems like great qualities is a lie. Its all a smokescreen.

You are truly better than this sh%t man. Acknowledge this, acknowledge how they seduce you and why they (or "she" in this case) did it, and then treat yourself with respect! You owe it to yourself. You deserve it.

Cheers

brilliant post- thank you very much!!!

 

[Atom Smasher]

I would like to add to this one Isiah. You seem like a good guy. Here is my take on this hole cluster B issue and I hope to share it with you:

One of the real problems with Cluster B's - which I feel a lot of people never acknowledge or seem to gloss over a bit- is that the same aspects that make the Cluster B a Cluster B, are also some of the most seductive and magnetic aspects of their personalities. By this I mean, they are often amazing at building temptation within guys, they are usually women with really good conversation skills and know how to work that almost effortlessly. They are usually very intelligent and very interesting chicks, and above all else and more dangerously, to the unsuspecting guy they can seem to be incredibly FUN!! I mean they are usually just a lot more magnetic and you can have more fun with them than other chicks. There may even be occasions when you meet an HB9, yet you may find the Cluster B just has this way of making everything electrifying. And this is where the absolute danger lies with these manipulative delusional chicks!!

Its like a drug you can become addicted to, particularly early on when their seemingly amazing qualities seem to appear. Then you get to know them better all the horrible cracks in their cruel and nasty personality's start to appear. Like I say, the very aspects of their personalities which make them seem so amazing at first are the same aspects that cause their dangerous cruel Cluster B traits. Let's face it, the fun sexy, unpredictable girl can be very magnetic in the same way that the bad boy can be to women. The unpredictability adds to excitement even if we don't realise that's whats happening or even if they don't appear to be doing it deliberately. Often these chicks are so self absorbed they delude themselves into thinking they are victims and think themselves to be nice people.

Now here's my point, everyone tells you just to move on and put the girl behind you as an emotionally unstable woman. You're usually expected to deny yourself the chance to feel sorry, sad, or burnt by the whole experience, even if you have put a few years of your life into it. But in my mind just telling someone to do this doesn't make the pain or the intensity go away - usually because the poor victim dude can only remember or reflect upon some of those amazing qualities manipulative Cluster B bi%ch has. This same "inability to let go" can also be worse when the dude starts to meet other chicks who aren't as seductive, smart and fun - because even if he tries not to, he usually ends up comparing them to the Cluster B who just ripped his freaken b%lls off and the outcome there is never good.


So here is my advice with this scenario for what it's worth and its just my opinion. Don't ignore or negate the chicks qualities that were so seductive. Don't pretend its all just crap and move on without dealing with that fact. Reflect on it, reflect on the things about her which you thought were magnetic and just briefly enjoy the time when it was good. Accept that those qualities were what drew you to her - BUT THEN YOU REALLY HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE to yourself that those good things are not real at all, they are based upon a fantasy or a fascade these chicks create and it's not who they really are! Seriously acknowledge this fact. Acknowledge that what they are in reality are dangerous manipulative women whom are really highly insecure and who usually have poor self esteem. Their self esteem issues, whilst not obvious at all, create carnage and painful mess to people around them in a selfish way. What seems like great qualities is a lie. Its all a smokescreen.

You are truly better than this sh%t man. Acknowledge this, acknowledge how they seduce you and why they (or "she" in this case) did it, and then treat yourself with respect! You owe it to yourself. You deserve it.

Cheers

I'm normally dead-set against quoting a long post, as it's usually unecessary and it's also annoying to the reader, but on this rarest of occasions I must do so. To quote partially would mislead a reader who is casually scanning the thread.

deuce, that's some of the best writing I've seen here in a long time. Perhaps that's partially because I can totally relate to what you're saying, having just dumped a cluster B.

But you've nailed the dynamic. Funny how easily we get sucked into the cluster b's vortex, spin around in there till we're senseless, and then get vomited out into the real world, stunned, wounded, dazed, and asking, "WTF just happened?" That didn't happen to me in my recent experience because I was prepared and educated, but it has happened before.

Many of us are forever optimists, so we set ourselves up for the fall. We get into the relationship, become addicted to the drug, and then start realizing the side-effects are severe. A black cloud looms over life, and we go about trying to "fix" the relationship. Hey, we've already become invested, and if we just tweak it (and her) here and there, everything should be just fine.

But doing that is like trying to grab a fistfull of water. The cluster b is a shape-shifter, a formless, ever-changing entity. She cannot be defined nor dealt with in any real or logical sense. She responds to one thing and one thing only - removal of attention.

They are sick, empty shells, empty behind the pretty facade. Self-absorbed to the exclusion of all else. That's why we must be vigilent to pre-qualify them before getting in too deep. I believe discussion forums such as this will gradually enable men to recognize these walking sepulchres and avoid them like the plague. Cluster bs burn brightly because they have plenty of fuel (chumps). Eventually, through education and the raising of male awareness, that fuel will become in shorter supply.

I'm not speaking of all women here, just the obvious BPDs, Cluster Bs, etc. It is true that virtually all women exhibit aspects of BPD, but obviously this discussion pertains to the certifiable nuts out there. The fact is that involvement with these nuts will inevitably cause us to think we are the one who is nuts until we wake up from the bad dream.

Look beyond the beauty and probe for substance inside, or be prepared for a ride that is going to leave you battered, bruised, and confused.

 

[deuce42]

Hey thanks guys for those kinds words.

I am no psychologist, I am just sharing what I have learnt from painful experience myself having been burnt by one. Perhaps this makes the best possible qualification for giving advice.

Without sounding like a schmuck, I would like to reiterate again my point in the later part of my post - that it's good to acknowledge your feelings. I am so disappointed with many posts I read on this board and many others which adopt this PUA community gospel common theme - that you have to be a tough man and just move on from stuff and are never allowed to be upset. Anyone who shows basic human emotion of pain or loss is labelled a wuss, has oneitis, made to feel bad etc etc. Now I am no wimpy girlish flake (or lady's dress as we say here in Australia, but I really feel that this common technique of shaming any guy into never being allowed to express any sadness or pain on these boards is just plain dumb. Humans do this stuff. They feel loss. They are genetically made to feel these things. It's only a problem and you are a complete wussbag if you dwell upon it and mope around forever, but basic psychology even proves that denying the existence of your feelings of hurt never solves anything. I think its best to acknowledge it and feel it, and then you find a way of moving on. In the case of these Cluster B witches, moving on is about acknowledging that its a fascade and not reality. You are not falling for the girl, you are falling for the "Cluster B'ness" itself.

I consider it a real privilege to be able to share what I have learnt along my journey from Cluster B victim to where I am now. Thanks once again guys.

 

[PokerStar]

women can be so dangerous.
and not in the physical sense either.

 

[The_411]

Relationship with Cluster B = Chasing the dragon. Cluster B's are relationship heroin. You're always chasing the initial high from the excitement, the chase, the crazy sex etc. Problem is that that's the best it gets and it's all downhill from there with some smaller peaks mixed in ... Hell, I'd even bet that one's brain chemistry would mimic that of a heroin addict when comparing a heroin addict with a BPD/cluster B addict.

They're master manipulators and world class con artists and you can't beat someone with mental games when they operate on a different set of rules.

Take it as a lesson as to what you don't want and how to notice red flags in other women.

 

[Nikoli]

I've had my experience with one of these and it's NOT fun! They are very manipulative people and they come off as so sweet and innocent that they leave you questioning your own sanity.

That Schreiber site is great...I read and reread the articles on there when I was going through my BPD experience and they really help you acheive cognitive distance which is what you so desperatly need. They have a whole section on BDP and these two articles are a must read for you:

http://www.sharischreiber.com/anycost.html

http://www.sharischreiber.com/fiftyways.html

There's also a book called...Walking on Eggshells that you shoudl read. The more you understand why they are like this the more it will help you distance yourself. The key here is that these people are very sick and being in a relationship with them makes you an ENABLER in her disorder. You'll notice that these women very rarely go away fully and will consistently try to HOOVER you back into their reality.

You need to get this girl out of your life right now and permanetly. It's a guarantee that she has been sleeping around on you and often these women pose a health risk as they are often times carriers of diseases due to their lifestyle (hence the UNOPENED condom). I don't say this to hurt you but to wake you up to the reality of lioving with a BPD women.

This may sound strange but I think you actually have to consider yourself lucky here. Consider what your life would've been like if you married this girl and had kids with her. So many men lose their lives to these BPD women because they did not heed the warning signs and looked beyond so many bad traits.

Once some time has passed you can start examining yourself and why you allowed this to happen. Most of us who've been with BPD women have extreme CAPT SAVE A HO tendencies that were ingrained in childhood. When we look at ourselves in this light we begin to see what we need to work on within ourselves before we can ever have a happy fulfilling relationship.

For now, focus on yourself. hit the gym hard and try to take up a few new hobbies and sports. Make sure you sweat once a day for at least half an hour. Physical activity will produce endorphins in your brain that will begin to heal you. You have to consider yourself and adict and thus counselling is sometimes a good idea too. Keep a journal and write it in it every night. allow yourself to write whatever, just let it pour out. If you do these things, and go NO CONTACT for a month I think you'll start to feel better and se ethe light at the end of the tunnel.

Best of Luck!

 

[st_99]

Yeah man, these f*cked up b*tches can really screw with your head, no question. As you get older and have dealt with a couple of these types you learn to recognize certain behaviors and your spidey senses go off.

At first we can't blame ourselves because we don't know what we don't know but after some experience with these types its up to you to take control of your dealings with women and stay emotionally IN CONTROL and never allow yourself to get that deep with a someone incapable of being fairly normal.

Like the other poster said, these types are a lot of fun and they usually are very exciting to be with BUT as you get older and mature you learn to see things for what they are and stay level headed, at least thats the idea. Funny thing is we fall in love with their 'quirky' behavior and think it makes them 'special' and 'different' while outsiders who are not emotionally invested would say, 'uhh, that chick is kind of nuts' or something like that. I find these types are really good at kino and complements and making you feel really good. But its all bullsh*t, they do it to everyone and are masters at it.

They can really get you though when you're inexperienced. But hey man, don't worry about it, this will all be a distant memory at some point and you'll be laughing about the way you feel right now, trust me, i've been there.