/help me dj

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I am a 9th grade hs student who has almost no friends, seeking to become an unlikely successful DJ.

I really don't think I can do it.. but I love girls so I want to force this one.
I'm interested in someone of course but I'll deal with her later, because becoming a DJ first will let me work up to her.

Flawed
some of my flaws are so complicated.. its mental confusion.

- shyness
#1, the most intense and complicated part of my life. I am one of the shyest people you'll ever meet, guaranteed... I literally just sit in class all day and say nothing, I don't even try to make conversation with anyone at all. I doubt myself and my abilities and I don't want to mess up like I have alot in the past when I've tried to change.
How do other people do it? What makes someone "cool" or "popular".
I don't think I am capable of being in any way perfect enough for a mistake not to lead me into failure. I want to have the mind to know what things to say, how to be funny on purpose through my crazy ideas and be able to make someone laugh. More importantly conversation, which is my #2.

- conversation
I have no clue how to talk to anyone, ESPECIALLY GIRLS, but if I do succeed in a conversation with someone, I usually end it feeling like I completely f%%%ed up... "oh this kid is boring, I dont like him". I just don't do well in conversations, its probably a lack of confidence but I think its also experience and ideas. Good ideas never come to me unless I'm alone, and I end up being too dumb to share them. All of the time people end up getting mad at me and stuff because I'm not reading their feelings and my mouth doesn't know when to stay closed or change the subject.

- the girls
I'm not cute or hot, but I'm thankfully not ugly (I think I am ugly but I'm probably biased against myself). Usually more girls talk to me then boys though, but its probably because I'm so quiet and they want to be friends or something. I always end up failing though because I don't know how people become actual good friends with each other. I managed to hang out with kids only once this year, but I rarely talk to them, and I didn't really talk much when we were hanging out.

- appearence
my appearence isn't very satisfying... I usually wear like wind pants (so I don't have to change for gym) and almost all of my shirts are dusty; they're not really bad shirts, they just look a little worn. I don't own any jeans and I usually wear the same coat all day because I don't bother using my school locker (I hate lockers, mine is also on the top floor so I'd be late alot). I also wear the same shoes every day (idk if thats a problem) but my taste in clothing isnt that great. I also have fairly long hair (I heard some girls like long hair). My hair is usually a little messy, and I always mess with it during class which is a habit that I'll need to call upon my friend Shock Therapy to fix.

- lazyness
What is lazyness? I mean, is it just not caring or not being motivated enough? I'm usually too lazy to do my homework and household chores. Also alot of the time I feel too lazy to make conversation with people.

I'm probably a WBAFC, but I want to change EVERYTHING I just have no idea how... maybe someone here will actually help me, maybe even give me advice that works. I need a flase impression to get me into the action and start being myself... I'm jus retarded like that. And it won't be a false impression if I show myself to them.

It's far more than just these 5 topics. What is wrong with me...?
Please, teach me how to become a DJ. I don't think it's entirely possible but I'll try to try at the very least.
If you think you could help one of the most serious AFC cases, please do because I have no idea what I'm doing I have a past filled up with failure.

thanks for reading -GWA "Flawed Diamond"

Note: Moved

 

[Plec07]

Alright dude, I was in your exact situation and I'm around the same age as you so I'm gonna help you out here. Add me on AIM because it will be a lot easier that way. My AIM is Plec07.

Also read through some of the DJ bible, especially things on confidence.

 

[BluEyes]

You're a lucky guy. You might not think so, but you are.

Most guys in your position never help themselves with problems like this. You are, and at a young age too.

Just know--if you actually follow through and start working on yourself--that the changes won't come over night. There is no point where you are suddenly a "DJ". It's a project. It has no end. You can, however, become who you want to be.

A realistic timeframe for anybody to transform themselves from chump to stud is about a year. This includes everything...From appearance, to social skills, to overall self-confidence.

When people tell you to be patient, with the changes you're gonna be making, they don't mean sit around with your thumb up your ass waiting for a change. They mean instead that it takes awhile to get the ball rolling. Work for awhile and see minimal changes, then at a certain point, after you've been looking through the "DJ goggles" long enough(afew solid months), you'll have an epiphany, and everything will become natural. You'll wake up one morning, and BE who you want to BE.
So....be patient.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

/re

omfg.. thank you.
I have no f%%%ing idea if this is going to work though.

when I'm being myself with my couple friends I sorta suck at it.... everything I used to do in elementary school was crazy when I didn't care... like this one time in 5th grade, april fools, I did a various amount of things like hide stuff from the teacher and I put my desk in the bathroom and waited there for 20 mins doing nothing and stufff..
I'm pissed right now, but it's like... I probably have some potential somewhere, but it's blocked so much like so horribly much, I can't even think of what to say most of the time when I'm talking to my own parents, its spacey and confusing...
I tried changing and started taking karate to work myself out, but now im slacking really badly, i never practice moves and stuff... but the other day i showed commitment (stupidly) by sitting you know how japanese people sit on their legs/feet, well I was doing that for about 20-30 minutes only got up once for 10 seconds... at the end of class I couldn't walk...

idk guys, but I'd do anything for you if you could help me out. I would cowtow down to my enemies... I would hurt myself trying if necessary.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

/re

btw my AIM is Sheltem Alamar, but I won't be around much today because Im gonna lie down for awhile (lazzy).

-GWA

 

[angelz]

Are there people you feel comfortable around? people that you don't care what they think? If there are, I suggest you talking to them more. Try communicating with your parents more too. And try finding something you have a passion for. ( art , sports, music) I used to be like you in 6th grade. I had very little friends and maybe one or two friends who were girls. But then I tried playing basketball and found i loved it so much. And through that I connected with lots of people and my confidence level rised so much.

 

[CactusMcDougal]

I am an 11th Grade High School student, and I have some of the exact same problems. (With some added psychological problems.) Does your school offer any activities involving radios? HAM radio? Talk radio? Any of those are a good field to improve your communication skills; HAM radio is nothing but communicating with strangers in a semi-Anonymous setting.

At the community college where I take classes, I am currently doing a talk radio show. It has helped me stop mumbling under my breath and speaking in a low monotone. I have not actually made approaches and the like yet, but I have improved on my speaking skills. Hopefully, this will serve me well when I do start talking to people outside of the required daily communication.

The point is find some sort of activity that requires a great amount of real communication; communication that extends beyond the simple "Yes, sir" and "No, ma'am." It sounds to me like you may have an inability to communicate effectively. That would most likely hurt your ability to converse with others. Confidence comes from refinement, and you are in dire need of it.

Finally, you are not the biggest AFC case around. The biggest AFC is the one that never realizes his need for improvement and simply fades into obscurity.

 

[johnm420]

i feel your pain man i went through the same thing but i didnt start to correct it till i was a junior so your not the worst person out there and you are far from it you just need to work on your confidence and everything else comes with it

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I don't know where to find a way to grow confidence. I don't think it's just confidence, theres something else thats stopping me... I don't know how to start changing myself.

 

[Plec07]

Regardless of whether it's just confidence or not, confidence comes first. I've said this before and I'll say it again, go out and just speak to random people on the street.

Now before you start going, "Oh what would I say? They'll think I'm weird because they don't know me. I just wet myself thinking about it." DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, JUST DO IT! Remember the three second rule.

You need to get into the "I don't care what you think, I'm gonna do it anyway" mindset. Because truth be told you most likely will never see them again in your life (unless of course you manage to get a # close), and if you do they probably won't remember you. And if they do remember you that's a good thing, it means you made an impression worth remembering which is better than not being noticed regardless of whether it was a good impression or a bad one.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I cant talk to people I actually know though.. there are actually a lot of people I don't want to talk to.
I'm talking about this:
when I say hi to a girl I won't be able to think of anything past hi, even if I don't break the 3 second rule

Idk how to change, to actually think of stuff around me and say it.

 

[PuroDeAgave]

how do you feel about yourself...Are you just not ambitious enough to make change . You have to feel good about yourself and it will help you with confidence and meeting people. School is the best place to meet people just talk to people around you in class. And have fun. If you're not having fun at school thats why you dont feel the urge to meet people. Like everyone else said just do it, Its exciting and you'll like making friends .


what you said about your apperence and stuff needs to change. Its good that you can recognize your flaws but your apperence will make all the difference . You have to know that you look your best and you'll know when you do. So go buy some clothes that make you look nice. stay groomed not sloppy , This will make you seem more valuble to people and they'll want to meet you.

So when you know you look the best you can... A good thing to do to start is try to make a friend that is very social. Its not hard to make friends with a very social person. Just hang out with him and talk during class and school. Thats how you become good friends the more you are around eachother. So try to find a cool guy who has a decent social standing.This person will help you develop character. He will most likey be your ticket to meeting new people and it makes everything easier.

You cant be lazy you just have to know what you want and strive for it keep trying everyday , get involved in something that you can make friends in. Karate is good it will keep you in shape too. Make friends with the people in your karate class.

Good luck with it all

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

karate = no
everyone in my class is 2+ years younger then me

but...I don't talk that well, like I can't think of anything to say to people in class. lol I need tips =\

 

[noodle]

Alright i think i know whats going on. It has happened to me.

I think when your talking to people you get so nervous that you think "what do they think of me?" or "they must think i'm dumb" or something else.

This scares you from talking because your scared that if you say something the other people will think your dumb or won't like you. This is NOT TRUE.

People don't give a SH!T about if your stupid or not. Do not let your fear haunt you from talking!

The more you talk the better you get at it. The less nervous, etc.

I used to be REALLY shy. But my friend told me that us shy guys usually respond in our minds instead of saying it aloud.

Like if someone says "hi" you say "hi".
Other: "so hows it going?"
You: "umm...ok i guess" (but in your mind your thinking, should i tell them that they look good today? Nahh...that'll make me look stupid,) not too good of an example...but yea i think you got the idea. hopefully...

Basically:
Don't be scared...there is nothing to fear.

Oh and a quote from jackass 2 that has helped me..."don't think about it, just do it"
The more you think about the bad things....the more nervous you will get.

 

[The Columbus Myth]

ok buddy i was in ur situation when i found this site so im gonna give u some tips ive found useful

a) dont look for a girlfriend at first look for friends that are girls

b) look for books stickers patches anything that shows a persons intrests
this will give u things to start convo
"Oh is that a Linkin Park patch on ur bag?"
" U heard about the new abulm rite?"

c)friends that are girls WILL TRY TO GET U 2GETHER W/ THEIR FRIENDS

ill post more l8r

 

[Lust]

You need to not only change your life, but revolutionize it.

Understand?

I can tell you want to change, but nothings going to happen until you stop and f*cking say to yourself "I need to f*cking change".

You have to put your foot down on this one, once it's decided, it's decided. You can't go back. You must put in some god damn effort if you were to be successful at this.

I used to be shy when i was about 9, then i got confident, and loud, and fun to be with.

Why? Cause i figured that i would have a better chance at getting that cutie in class if i was loud and fun, rather than the kid who's face lights bright red when anyone of the opposite sex speak to him.

You need to find yourself a passion, no, video games don't count. A sport, an instrument or something, that's a good way to start.

You need to become more comfortable with being around others, so next time you go out, i want you to ask 5 very attractive women some very simple questions.

Eg:

"Hey have you got the time?"
"Hey, when does the bus come?"
Stuff like that.

Do not try and close them, though i doubt you will have the balls to try, just speak to them, they are very simple questions, if you can't get assed enough to do what i said, get out. Get out of this forum now. Cause putting it off won't help, and we want to be helping others that are willing to commit.

You said you have no friends.

Get some. If you are shy, you won't have friends, if you don't have friends, you won't have social proof, actually you will have negative social proof. Talk to the "popular" kids.

My mates and i are what you could consider the "popular" kids. We don't mind speaking to the "Nerds" or "Loners". Some of us will have fun dissing them every now and then, but we will never be too harsh to one. If you talk to us, and start an interesting conversation, we will talk to you.

The main thing you must focus on is your confidence, then you need to make some friends. You can't go through life without friends. Don't spend your ass in front of the computer playing video games or reading forums, go out and do stuff.

-Lust.

 

[The Shocker]

That's the stupidest S/N ever...





If the above comment made to you by a complete stranger (me) hurt your feelings, then you're hopeless.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Note that I am starting off horriblly as maybe even a WBAFC
===============================================

I actually talked (for the first time) to a HB9.5 that I knew from last year today. We were talking about math class and it ended in a giggle, but I have no idea if it was fake or not.
Yeah.. I waved to her when I saw her in the class, but this was a different class then mine...

So, my main problem is having nothing to say in the spur of the moment. I have to take awhile to think of stuff to say. Like when I'm at gym with kids and we're waiting for class to begin, I could talk to someone but I don't know what I should say to them.
It's not as much thinking of something to say as it is not having anything at all to say, but I'm guessing this was from a lack of practice because I'm too quiet.

I suck at conversation

I have improved this week but on a microscopic scale, actually increasing a very small bit every day.
That comment didn't touch my feelings because its probably true. I'm ready to take specific orders and start this right away, even if I screw up, which I might even practice if you tell me to.

Be clear, what do I do tomorrow? (I'm inside almost all day except for a basketball game, where there probably won't be many girls.)
I want to accomplish something every day, even if it isn't significant.

LETS GO!!!

 

[The Shocker]

Well, good, that's the attitude you need. Since you are starting out as an extreme beginner, you need to concentrate on baby steps in moving forward. Do not get discouraged, or overwhelmed at the very long road ahead of you. Keep your goals in focus.

For now, concentrate on developing your conversation skills. How? Speak to anyone you can. Observe other people and how they talk, behave, especially if they're funny. What makes them funny?

Sure, some people are just naturally funny. I am like this, I can come up with funny stuff off the top of my head. HOWEVER, when I do see or read or hear something really funny that can apply to various situations, I store that "line" in my head. Most of the time I forget, but occasionally I remember these funny statements, and everybody gets a kick out of what I say, even though it was somewhat preplanned (even though I didn't know when, or if ever, I'd use it).

Read funny books, watch intellectual comedy shows. A good show to watch for conversation fodder is the Daily Show (and also the Colbert Report). Over a million people watch these shows, and most are young people. Observe Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's behaviors. Jon's character is more down to earth, a regular guy wondering "what's going on in this world?" A lot of people like him for his friendly nature. As a contrast, observe Stephen's character. His character pretends to be arrogant, self-centered, and selfish. His act is, of course, hilarious. However, if you act as arrogant as him in your real life, people won't like you because they assume you aren't playing a character (while everyone knows he is). Pay attention to his comedy. It is the DEFINITION of ****y/funny. It's no surprise that all the women who watch his show have crushes on him.

This journey is going to take work (just like the work it took to type all this, only harder ). I hope you'll take my advice and improve yourself.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

lol typing this was nothing =\
I guess I'll practice talking to people I already know then move on to ones I'm not too familiar with.
Also I should read the bible, right. Which parts should I focus on when starting out?