Heard on my date

[thirdtimescharm]

Took a date to see "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”which is about a the former editor of elle magazine who had a type of a stroke and the only thing he could move was his eyeball. Pretty heavy subject matter.

So in discussing the film, I mentioned to her how I had a couple of near-tear moments. And she says, “not me, I’m a cold hearted *****.”

We had a good laugh, but I was really at a loss for words. Any snappy comebacks?

 

[Damocles]

You could try... "Oh. Things ain't gonna work out between us." (be careful with anything like that... it could backfire easily.)

or "huh, just the way I like 'em."

or, "not even when . . ." (put in some really sad part of the movie here... this'll work if she goes for sensitive guys. Not many girls go for them though... so you might want to follow up with "wow, you really ARE a cold hearted *****." if she says "no.")

 

[Juando]

We had a good laugh, but I was really at a loss for words. Any snappy comebacks?

Maybe you were not at a loss for words.

Perhaps the words you might have said you did not want to say to her because you did not trust her. Your "loss" might have been a self-protection reaction.

And, she may have done you a favor by showing you her hand.


Just a thought.

 

[Climax]

Her: I'm a cold hearted b!tch

You: Dont worry my heart is hot enough for both of us

or

You: *put hand on your heart* - Mine seems pretty hot, I dont mind sharing mine with you... *wink*

or

You: I can think of one way to warm up that heart of yours.... *grin*

Her: How you plan on doing that?

You: You'll have to find out... (mysterious + leaves her thinking)

She will probably push you to tell her, so you can either:

1) Pull her (if the situation / time is right)

or

2) say something cute like " Well if I take a piece of my heart and put it in yours, that might work?"

I dont know the relation between the 2 of you.. Are you guys intimate yet? Or just met each other type thing?

Anyways just my 2c.


Leave HER at a loss for words...

 

[iqqi]

Just say "hmmm... interesting..."

whenever you are at a loss for words.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Just say "hmmm... interesting..."

whenever you are at a loss for words.

That's pretty much the standard "men are from mars" response for a man to give any time a woman is talking, isn't it? Simply to show that you heard what was said.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I dont know the relation between the 2 of you.. Are you guys intimate yet? Or just met each other type thing?

Not intimate yet. 4 fairly casual dates, over the last 4 weeks.

 

[joekerr31]

her: i'm a cold hearted b*tch
me: wow, that's f*cked up.

 

[reset]

her: i'm a cold hearted b*tch
me: wow, that's f*cked up.

Lol. That's my fave so far.

 

[Mr. Me]

If a woman says, "I'm a cold hearted b1tch", unless she was jesting around, you'd have to think "WHY is she saying that?" (and even then, if she was jesting, you may still think that). A sweetie would probably have empathized with you.

But you know, maybe it was in reaction to why you said what you had said about your reaction, that you were near tears?

Meaning, you're letting her know that you're sensitive and maybe she's saying "Not my type. That's not what I'm looking for in a man".

Anyway, my response to her statement would've been : "That's CUTE!"

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Lol. That's my fave so far.

Definitely. Leave the ball in her court to talk about herself some more.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

If a woman says, "I'm a cold hearted b1tch", unless she was jesting around, you'd have to think "WHY is she saying that?" (and even then, if she was jesting, you may still think that). A sweetie would probably have empathized with you.

But you know, maybe it was in reaction to why you said what you had said about your reaction, that you were near tears?

Meaning, you're letting her know that you're sensitive and maybe she's saying "Not my type. That's not what I'm looking for in a man".

Anyway, my response to her statement would've been : "That's CUTE!"

Good insight there. In our 4 dates, we have broached the subject, and what I've gathered is that we have similar experiences with regard to a lack of emotional displays from our parents. So while I'm -more- open than she is, I do know where she was coming from, even though the hardness of the statement was jarring (much like the entire movie was, actually).

 

[reset]

I think sometimes chicks let you know early what their problems are, maybe it's like confession. The psycho chick I worked with told me about how she met friends at a bar "It was a lot of fun, but I'm mean sometimes. I tend to leave the people I'm with and ignore them and hang out with other people or something". Red flag.

 

[joekerr31]

I think sometimes chicks let you know early what their problems are, maybe it's like confession. The psycho chick I worked with told me about how she met friends at a bar "It was a lot of fun, but I'm mean sometimes. I tend to leave the people I'm with and ignore them and hang out with other people or something". Red flag.

actually all chic let you know their problems. not always using words, but always with their actions.

this is why i say, women don't hide who they are. neither do men.

we as human beings blind ourselves to reality because we want things to be a certain way. if we are dating a chic we obviously are attracted physically to her. which means we are hoping to get into her pants. in order for that to happen, we will avoid thinking she is a b*tch until we simply can't deny reality anymore - even though the signs where there from the get go.

i dont know about you guys, but i have female friends and they can point out a b*tch within 2 minutes of meeting her. why? because they are totally objective - they don't look at her with an agenda, they just see the signs and call bullsh*t.

 

[reset]

Definitely. Leave the ball in her court to talk about herself some more.

Yeah "enjoy the silence" see how uncomfortable she gets, if she recovers.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

actually all chic let you know their problems. not always using words, but always with their actions.

this is why i say, women don't hide who they are. neither do men.

we as human beings blind ourselves to reality because we want things to be a certain way. if we are dating a chic we obviously are attracted physically to her. which means we are hoping to get into her pants. in order for that to happen, we will avoid thinking she is a b*tch until we simply can't deny reality anymore - even though the signs where there from the get go.

i dont know about you guys, but i have female friends and they can point out a b*tch within 2 minutes of meeting her. why? because they are totally objective - they don't look at her with an agenda, they just see the signs and call bullsh*t.

Actions are definitely the key here. Since we know most communication is non-verbal anyway, you have to judge people on a pattern of how they act, over an extended period of time. So on four dates, while I take the statement with some small degree of truth, I know in fact, she is not a b1tch.

 

[joekerr31]

Actions are definitely the key here. Since we know most communication is non-verbal anyway, you have to judge people on a pattern of how they act, over an extended period of time. So on four dates, while I take the statement with some small degree of truth, I know in fact, she is not a b1tch.

haha. she may not be a b*tch, but i'll tell you something, i have a steadfast rule - any woman who calls herself a b*tch i next.

and the reason being is that even if she isn't a b*tch, something is broken inside that she labels herself as one regardless.

i just have no time for women who have serious issues - and telling some guy you are a b*tch is a clear indication that she has serious issues.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

haha. she may not be a b*tch, but i'll tell you something, i have a steadfast rule - any woman who calls herself a b*tch i next.

and the reason being is that even if she isn't a b*tch, something is broken inside that she labels herself as one regardless.

i just have no time for women who have serious issues - and telling some guy you are a b*tch is a clear indication that she has serious issues.

I get where you are coming from, but on the other hand, she confided something in me after the third date regarding an issue that had come up with one of her friends. The friend had called her a liar for divulging a secret (and as she later found out, it was another friend who had spilled the beans, and she very specifically said she would not sell her out), so my thinking then was that she was opening up, which made me take the b1tch comment as a half-joke.

 

[logic1]

@threadstarter - IMHO get ready to run.

I agree. This female just revealed to you her lack of empathy. This is a common trait in most people with PD'S. She is screwed up on the inside. She cant place herself in someone elses shoes. She will eventually rip your heart out and not think twice about it. So, dont be surprised when it happens.

Best thing is to protect your heart and let her reveal her trueself. It wont take long. Because I think your in the mindset that you will have to see it happen before you believe it.

Be careful.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I agree. This female just revealed to you her lack of empathy. This is a common trait in most people with PD'S. She is screwed up on the inside. She cant place herself in someone elses shoes. She will eventually rip your heart out and not think twice about it. So, dont be surprised when it happens.

Best thing is to protect your heart and let her reveal her trueself. It wont take long. Because I think your in the mindset that you will have to see it happen before you believe it.

Be careful.

Duly noted. Since I'm spinning a few other plates along with her, I'm willing to see what happens.