Heard on my date

[guru1000]

Actions are definitely the key here. Since we know most communication is non-verbal anyway, you have to judge people on a pattern of how they act, over an extended period of time. So on four dates, while I take the statement with some small degree of truth, I know in fact, she is not a b1tch.

You nailed it.

Any truth to a woman's thoughts will be delivered covertly.

On the flip side, any overt communication whether good or bad , is just conversation.

Judge by her actions and covert communication, and you will see the film as a spectator rather than a participator.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Maybe you were not at a loss for words.

Perhaps the words you might have said you did not want to say to her because you did not trust her. Your "loss" might have been a self-protection reaction.

And, she may have done you a favor by showing you her hand.


Just a thought.

Juando, Are you saying that he withheld his true angst of her response because he wants something from her and he did not want to jeopardize this? If so, I think so too!

Thirdtimescharm, this is the last thing you would expect from a woman's mouth, considering that a man is sharing his soft side and expressing his sentiments!!

But you are not dealing with a woman who is in sync with her femininity - you are dealing with an artificial construct who has rejected her womanhood, as a nurturer and a compassionate being!!! I refer to them as "hors" - as so should you, if you are wise!!

Do NOT appease wrongdoing!! Strike it down right away - but....you want something from her - her body, so you withhold your true sentiments and appease her ill mind by laughing in tandem with her warped mind!! I'll just say, you sir, have just lost the power over her - because you have accommodated her lack of femininity, and in so doing, diminished your manhood in the process!!

If you are looking for a hor, you found one. But, if you are looking for a woman, seek elsewhere!!!!

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Do NOT appease wrongdoing!! Strike it down right away - but....you want something from her - her body, so you withhold your true sentiments and appease her ill mind by laughing in tandem with her warped mind!! I'll just say, you sir, have just lost the power over her - because you have accommodated her lack of femininity, and in so doing, diminished your manhood in the process!!

If she had not confided in me just a few days ago about an issue in her life with a friend that was particularly troubling to her, then I would agree with you. My true sentiments, at the time, were that she delivered the line with a smile on her face, and that since I already knew that the movie was a pretty heavy emotional experience for me, and that previously she told me she wasn't into "chick flicks," then I already had some evidence that perhaps this type of film wasn't her cup of tea (even though I essentially let her pick it). In fact, she told me she was a big fan of films like No Country For Old Men, and There Will Be Blood, for example. While she isn't the model of femininity (she is more a tomboy type, again, a preference of mine), she's got an open mind, is unpretentious, genuine, and easy to talk to...all traits which I find desirable in a woman.

However, as I mentioned earlier, it takes a pattern of behavior to make a judgment. Too many guys get caught up in one sentence, or one thing that comes out of a woman's mouth, and can spin all kinds of futures based on that one thing, but you MUST look beyond that, for a PATTERN of behavior. She may be guarding her feelings now, but since I do consider her worthy of future attention, I'm willing to look beyond this statement-with both eyes open, and with more plates spinning.

 

[iqqi]

However, as I mentioned earlier, it takes a pattern of behavior to make a judgment. Too many guys get caught up in one sentence, or one thing that comes out of a woman's mouth, and can spin all kinds of futures based on that one thing, but you MUST look beyond that, for a PATTERN of behavior. She may be guarding her feelings now, but since I do consider her worthy of future attention, I'm willing to look beyond this statement-with both eyes open, and with more plates spinning.

Wise man.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Yes, Thirdtimes. a pattern is more objective but....one statement, no matter how lightly expressed, is an indicator of the heart and a light shed upon her soul!!! As a woman, her statement was out of place with her femininity - regardless of her past hardships!!!

 

[Rudra]

Thirdtimes, you won´t get a pattern about things that people don´t really want you to know about. That is, unless you invest way more time in watching them than you should. You need patterns to make rational deductions, you need facts and data, but almost always, you don´t have the time for it. Not in the least.

It comes down to the little things, glimpses, single sentences, single acts, remarks PLUS your gut feeling. Your intuition. This is where you should go from in dating. Patterns are overrated.

 

[logic1]

I agree it takes more than a one line sentence to pass judgement on a person. But, for 3rdtime to come on a public forum and bring this up says a lot.

I think it jolted something in his instincts. He placed that sentence with another action and is now wondering. She has him thinking. The question is why?

JMO

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Patterns are overrated.

I'm going to have to completely disagree with you on this one. My life is ALL about patterns, and playing the odds that a particular pattern will repeat, from how I hit a tennis ball, to how I read a stock market chart, to holding a yoga pose, to having measured and reasonably predictable response to any situation.

 

[Rudra]

@logic1

+1

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I agree it takes more than a one line sentence to pass judgement on a person. But, for 3rdtime to come on a public forum and bring this up says a lot.

I think it jolted something in his instincts. He placed that sentence with another action and is now wondering. She has him thinking. The question is why?

JMO

Simple answer there. It took me by surprise, and isn't something I'm used to hearing on a date. I think I typically attract women who are not afraid to express emotions freely (no judgment here on whether or not this is a positive or negative), and now I've put some energy into a woman who is more guarded with her feelings, and I'm trying to learn more.

 

[Rudra]

I'm going to have to completely disagree with you on this one. My life is ALL about patterns, and playing the odds that a particular pattern will repeat, from how I hit a tennis ball, to how I read a stock market chart, to holding a yoga pose, to having measured and reasonably predictable response to any situation.

I.e. you try to live a completely rational life based solely on facts and their analysis?

Well I neither have the time nor the mental capacities for that. Maybe you have

Intuition and instinct are wonderful thinks you should never forget about.

 

[iqqi]

Intuition and instinct are wonderful thinks you should never forget about.

^^^+1

 

[thirdtimescharm]

I.e. you try to live a completely rational life based solely on facts and their analysis?

Well I neither have the time nor the mental capacities for that. Maybe you have

Intuition and instinct are wonderful thinks you should never forget about.

I never said I ignore instinct and intuition. I just don't live every moment by them. Instinct and intuition are wonderful tools, but they aren't -always- right.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

So "cold heartless b1tch" texts me this morning "Happy Hallmark holiday day" which certainly cements her as someone who is not the sentimental type (and I have NO problem with that), so I reply "coming from a self-avowed 'cold heartless b1tch' I can almost feel the emotion. Bravo!" and she replies "oh, that stung."

A chink in the armor, perhaps ;-)

 

[DJDamage]

Interesting choice of movie. I for one would avoid serious drama type of movies or disccusing serious topics early on in the dating phase. Women want first and foremost is to have fun and not to come to grips with reality.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Interesting choice of movie. I for one would avoid serious drama type of movies or disccusing serious topics early on in the dating phase. Women want first and foremost is to have fun and not to come to grips with reality.

I gave her three options, Cloverfield, The Orphanage (going for the "grip" factor) and this one...it was her choice. It was our 4th date though.

 

[DJDamage]

I gave her three options, Cloverfield, The Orphanage (going for the "grip" factor) and this one...it was her choice. It was our 4th date though.

You give them choices?!

Why give them so much power so early? what has she done to deserve this power sharing?!

The thing about women, you start giving them choices very early on and they turn to Mussolini (and by that I don't mean a fat bald Italian man) by getting used to the power and thrive for more.

 

[KontrollerX]

One thing to keep in mind about personality disordered women thirdtimes is that at the beginning of a relationship they will often confide something deeply personal real or imagined to their target in an effort to make you feel closer to them.

Another thing to keep in mind is that they can come across as tomboys in the sense they convey or outright tell you they get along better with men than women.

 

[STR8UP]

"Half of every joke is the truth"

And yes, this also applies to women.

 

[Last Man Standing]

So "cold heartless b1tch" texts me this morning "Happy Hallmark holiday day" which certainly cements her as someone who is not the sentimental type (and I have NO problem with that), so I reply "coming from a self-avowed 'cold heartless b1tch' I can almost feel the emotion. Bravo!" and she replies "oh, that stung."

A chink in the armor, perhaps ;-)

Well, she did tell the truth but that is not what you wanted to hear coming from a woman who you have romantic interest on this day. She has dragged herself in the mud for the last few decades - she ain't smelling too good! Find yourself a nice virgin fresh rose whose head hasn't been damaged and whose body hasn't been dragged threw the mud!!