Have I lost my mind or are these women beyond help?

[Floydispink01]

It's similar to when you are offered a fruit pastille sweet and you really enjoy the taste and sweetness of it.

Now when you have a full pack to yourself you just demolish them in seconds and never fully appreciate each individual one.

I think a lot of chicks live in a revolving cycle of fruit pastille munching. It's ultimately their own downfall.

 

[exhausted]

Agreed. A lot of men's problems can be solved when they stop projecting their own desires and expectations onto women. Guys who still expect women to "make sense" or be logical still don't get it.

No I understand women don't use logic or reasoning as they have no ability but the older generation of women did at least respect their men and take pride in themselves for being decent to their man.
Today's woman is a disgrace in many ways.
A disappointment really.

 

[Tenacity]

I am 38 and there truly is no hope to find a decent one..

My theory is that the decent ones are off the market. Decent is defined as a woman of more traditional values without many of the typical modern market woman issues from bad finances, weight issues, bastard kid issues, thug-worshipping issues, bad attitudes, bad personalities, etc.

Now of course you will have some Red Pill/MGTOW/Cartoon Characters on this website jump up talking about how they see nothing but SCORES of quality women dropping at their feet. But trust me, they are doing nothing but spreading their Cartoon Character fairy tales.

With that being said, my advice to you is to SETTLE. Yes, SETTLE. Every woman you meet that's still on the market is going to have one or more things majorly wrong with her, it will be either one or more of the following:

- Bad Finances
- Weight Issues
- Bad Personality/Bad Attitude/Mental Illnesses
- Kids From Other Dudes
- Golddigging like behavior
- Lukewarm Interest/Flaking

Determine which trait(s) on this list you absolutely cannot tolerate, then determine which one(s) you can tolerate.

The alternative is to go MGTOW, don't date women at all, and be sitting up on Sosuave for the rest of your life bytching about how bad the market is or reading another fvcking Poon King thread about spinning plates.

 

[exhausted]

My theory is that the decent ones are off the market. Decent is defined as a woman of more traditional values without many of the typical modern market woman issues from bad finances, weight issues, bastard kid issues, thug-worshipping issues, bad attitudes, bad personalities, etc.

Now of course you will have some Red Pill/MGTOW/Cartoon Characters on this website jump up talking about how they see nothing but SCORES of quality women dropping at their feet. But trust me, they are doing nothing but spreading their Cartoon Character fairy tales.

With that being said, my advice to you is to SETTLE. Yes, SETTLE. Every woman you meet that's still on the market is going to have one or more things majorly wrong with her, it will be either one or more of the following:

- Bad Finances
- Weight Issues
- Bad Personality/Bad Attitude/Mental Illnesses
- Kids From Other Dudes
- Golddigging like behavior
- Lukewarm Interest/Flaking

Determine which trait(s) on this list you absolutely cannot tolerate, then determine which one(s) you can tolerate.

The alternative is to go MGTOW, don't date women at all, and be sitting up on Sosuave for the rest of your life bytching about how bad the market is or reading another fvcking Poon King thread about spinning plates.

Point taken.
Tho hard to settle with so many deficits these days.

 

[The Duke]

Haven't read the whole thread. But I'll say this.

You are playing a lame relationship game.

I don't get half the sh*t that men complain about on here. And I act like a complete d1ck.

Don't get me wrong, I am really decent to women. But I don't give exclusivity, and I am indirect.

Guys that play the same monogamous game from the 1930's are struggling. I wonder why?

Deesade, you will never be able to relate until you desire more depth from your relationships. Some people want more than fuhk buddies they have to change out every few months. And you are very correct, it is a lot simpler when you keep them as superficial plates. Its also not as rewarding. The real skill comes in keeping one woman eating out of your hand long term.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Yep i call it twisting. Always twisting things to make them the victims. It is absolutley astonishing the heights they will go to to be the victim, even in embarrassing fashion. It's like they have no shame.

When my ex wife apologised for smashing my windows with an axe and threatening me with a knife her apology was "I am sorry that YOUR behavior made me so angry"
BTW my behavior had been to say that I wasn"t goibg to sit and listen to blame and abuse.

 

[exhausted]

When my ex wife apologised for smashing my windows with an axe and threatening me with a knife her apology was "I am sorry that YOUR behavior made me so angry"
BTW my behavior had been to say that I wasn"t goibg to sit and listen to blame and abuse.

haha
sounds about right.
she is sorry that you are the problem...they all view it this way, at least the crazy ones do

 

[SgtSplacker]

See she is having an emotional crisis and she wants you to support her in it.

It doesn't matter what is really going on or if things happening are morally wrong or right. It's all about just her and her crisis.

 

[exhausted]

See she is having an emotional crisis and she wants you to support her in it.

It doesn't matter what is really going on or if things happening are morally wrong or right. It's all about just her and her crisis.

Well put, to her it is not about behaving so disrespectfully that she is ruining the relationship, but the fact that I or we are not in tune to her problems or crisis. To her, all that matters is that she is unhappy about something, whether she communicates that respectfully , or screams at me or beats the **** out of me it does not matter because it is all justified in her mind because she is the princess.

 

[BeExcellent]

Sadly you have not lost your mind. Lots of sh1t sandwiches on the market these days. I do apologize for being crass.

But there is the occasional girl worth your time. I got children I'm raising to be good (not spoiled ) women. I struggle a bit where my son is concerned since I'm not a dude, but I try to get him around great men (and his dad does have some admirable qualities as well & is a good influence in his life generally speaking.). The best example for him is my Dad but my Dad is dying. He's a shell of himself. My son can see the devotion of my Dad's wife. So can I. It's incredible.

My daughters (if I do a good job) will understand their value and have a great disposition toward men. We shall see.

Men just need to see the landscape accurately rather than through rose colored lenses.

It's pretty neat when I'm driving my son around and his comment is that he is proud of the influence/impact I have in the community. Its nice but I wish he was saying that about his Dad. As long as he learns work ethic I'm happy but I want him to be in reality from the get go where women are concerned.

Trust me I find I'm for arranged marriage where my kids are concerned. My friends and I joke about it at times. We figure we'll just encourage our kids to get together because we know how we each raised our children.

Sadly we aren't really kidding.

I'm so glad I'm past the baby making stage these days. Thank God.

 

[fastlife]

@BeExcellent

I think that arranged marriage is probably not a bad bet--as crazy as it's been for me to come to that conclusions--but it'd definitely be a tough sell these days. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to outlive the institution of marriage in the first world--my guess is that in 50 or so years it'll merely exist for the sake of wealth-preservation in the upper classes. Communities in general are too destabilized and in flux to wield the kind of social pressure that would ensure good pairings and sustain that union

Re: Your son--I don't pretend to even know how to raise a boy/man in the current sociological environment; but I think it's important to tell it to him like it is. There are red flags everywhere--and even the sweetest of girls in the 18-20 y/o range have been thrown to the wolves a little bit and chances are they'll be hardened in ways he won't be until he's been burned a time or three. The best ones have a high self-esteem and are able to remain level-headed and hold themselves accountable--but those are increasingly rare.

I think it's also important that you don't allow him to over-identify with you. Of course, you should model the kind of qualities you'd like him to seek in a mate; but if he goes in with the expectation that he might even find those qualities, you'll be setting him up for a lot of disappointment down the road.

 

[The Duke]

to her it is not about behaving so disrespectfully that she is ruining the relationship, but the fact that I or we are not in tune to her problems or crisis. To her, all that matters is that she is unhappy about something, whether she communicates that respectfully , or screams at me or beats the **** out of me it does not matter because it is all justified in her mind because she is the princess.

I see this in almost all women. Some have it worse than others. Its all about protecting their ego. Their brains go into self defense mode in order to protect their fragile ego. This is why they somewhat justify their schitty behavior at the time. But rest assured, eventually these women get shut out.

I know of more than one female that justified cheating on her husband because she didn't get the attention she needed from him. Both felt ignored, undesired, disconnected, etc and instead of communicating her feelings, she went out and got those needs met elsewhere. Both of these women wound up divorced and to this day, they know fully well that what they did was wrong. It took a while to set in, but these days they aren't so keen on how they justified their weak behavior.

 

[exhausted]

Sadly you have not lost your mind. Lots of sh1t sandwiches on the market these days. I do apologize for being crass.

But there is the occasional girl worth your time. I got children I'm raising to be good (not spoiled ) women. I struggle a bit where my son is concerned since I'm not a dude, but I try to get him around great men (and his dad does have some admirable qualities as well & is a good influence in his life generally speaking.). The best example for him is my Dad but my Dad is dying. He's a shell of himself. My son can see the devotion of my Dad's wife. So can I. It's incredible.

My daughters (if I do a good job) will understand their value and have a great disposition toward men. We shall see.

Men just need to see the landscape accurately rather than through rose colored lenses.

It's pretty neat when I'm driving my son around and his comment is that he is proud of the influence/impact I have in the community. Its nice but I wish he was saying that about his Dad. As long as he learns work ethic I'm happy but I want him to be in reality from the get go where women are concerned.

Trust me I find I'm for arranged marriage where my kids are concerned. My friends and I joke about it at times. We figure we'll just encourage our kids to get together because we know how we each raised our children.

Sadly we aren't really kidding.

I'm so glad I'm past the baby making stage these days. Thank God.

My best friend is Greek and there are 3 of them brothers.
2 of them are married and although they were not really technically arranged, they married girls whom his parents were extremely close with all their lives. The families grew up together and the moms best friends, so although it was not arranged like the old days there was always persuasion and guidance for them to marry those girls. And those girls are truly wonderful people, those guys are lucky and I am jealous......My friend even told he is lucky beyond words.

 

[Rainman4707]

My mother & my GF struggle to admit when they are in the wrong. For example, all the family seen my mother put something in the fridge. She denied it. We told her "we all just saw you" she replied "it wasn't me" :/

My Gf also has a habit of struggling to admit when she is wrong.
I can relate to some of these posts where the women are putting blame elsewhere. Hell, I've lol at some of the posts on here because it's so ridiculous to me when women blame there behaviour on other things.
Is'nt that just the way the majority of women are though? Struggling to admit to things & projecting blame elsewhere when they are in the wrong.

 

[Rainman4707]

Sadly you have not lost your mind. Lots of sh1t sandwiches on the market these days. I do apologize for being crass.

But there is the occasional girl worth your time. I got children I'm raising to be good (not spoiled ) women. I struggle a bit where my son is concerned since I'm not a dude, but I try to get him around great men (and his dad does have some admirable qualities as well & is a good influence in his life generally speaking.). The best example for him is my Dad but my Dad is dying. He's a shell of himself. My son can see the devotion of my Dad's wife. So can I. It's incredible.

My daughters (if I do a good job) will understand their value and have a great disposition toward men. We shall see.

Men just need to see the landscape accurately rather than through rose colored lenses.

It's pretty neat when I'm driving my son around and his comment is that he is proud of the influence/impact I have in the community. Its nice but I wish he was saying that about his Dad. As long as he learns work ethic I'm happy but I want him to be in reality from the get go where women are concerned.

Trust me I find I'm for arranged marriage where my kids are concerned. My friends and I joke about it at times. We figure we'll just encourage our kids to get together because we know how we each raised our children.

Sadly we aren't really kidding.

I'm so glad I'm past the baby making stage these days. Thank God.

When you say you will be teaching your son "work ethic" i'm assuming you mean teach him that you need to work for what you have?

 

[BeExcellent]

When you say you will be teaching your son "work ethic" i'm assuming you mean teach him that you need to work for what you have?

Correct. I am teaching this to all my children. My dad gave me a college education and a good upbringing. Nothing more. I have had to work & earn everything I have on my own (as those familiar with my story know).

Ok this is long & kind of all over the place. It's the extra "X" chromosome....

What echoes in my mind from my teen years is: "You better make grades & learn discipline. When you turn 18 or graduate high school, whichever comes later, you can go to college or you can go to work BUT YOU CAN'T LIVE HERE".

All 4 siblings at my house got the message and got educated & able to support ourselves. And do or can if necessary.

My parents did not mean shack up with some dude either. How embarrassing for yourself and your family was the message. Dependence is embarrassing.

It was a powerful message that I am teaching my kids too but I'm casting it in a more positive light. It was that message that reverberated that I would be REQUIRED to be on my own, so I better plan accordingly.

My mom hated being dependent on my Dad financially and held him in contempt over it until she divorced him for cheating with my step-mom (of 30+ years now).

So I have to filter out the garbage part of my Mom's message and take out her bitter spin. She is bitter and bitter is bad.

I'm the oldest. When I went to college my Dad said "Look. You got 4 years. In two years the next sibling will start college...the 3rd sibling 2 years after that. I can't afford 3 of you in university at once. Study and get done on time or finish on your dime. Graduate school or professional school is YOUR financial responsibility"

I looked down on the "MRS" degree seeking women in college. You know, the ones who were there on the family dime to find a good husband? Some of those girls, looking back were very marriageable. More so than I was in fact. Many were raised in traditional homes and taught what it meant to be a good wife.

I got some of that messaging from my grandmother (happily married 24 years, widowed, again happily married later for 28 years, widowed once again) but I didn't see how important her wisdom was until much later.

I got both a BS and a BA in 4 years. Went to summer school every year. Carried at times 18 or 21 hours. And worked. And was in student government and was a VP in my sorority my junior & senior years. I graduated with both degrees the August that sibling #3 started university (exactly 4 years after I started). And the Monday after I graduated college? I went to work full time at the place where I had earned an internship my senior year. Graduated Saturday, full time to work on the following Monday.

From there I built my career & my businesses.

That is work ethic.

I teach my children independence, work ethic, and personal responsibility.

From independence springs interdependence. Steven Covey & others have written about interdependence.

Interdependence is only possible between two independent people, meaning two people who can stand alone but CHOOSE to enter an interdependent relationship. Such relationships are healthy because the two people in them are healthy. Trouble is there are fewer and fewer healthy independent women out there. Probably fewer independent men too as parents remain willing to spoil their offspring well into adulthood.

I cringe when parents spoil their children this way (allowing a cushy lifestyle on Mom & Dad's -usually Dad's- dime) because it keeps the children dependent and doesn't force personal accountability or responsibility to develop. It's a great disservice to one's children.

But I digress.

I'm raising my kids to be independent responsible adults. And I'm trying to guide them through all the choices that come with growing up...or put them in situations where they get proper guidance.

I saw an interview of Trump where he talks about embarrassing his daughters in front of their dates to never get drunk; that drunk women get taken advantage of. My Dad used to reload shotgun shells, work on gunstocks, or Bleu a rifle barrel when my dates would pick me up. Dates were scared to death of my Dad & so I didn't date much.

There ARE women like me and families raising responsible young people out there. You aren't going to find them, by & large, in an alcohol fueled bar driven environment. And they will get taken off the market young in many cases.

So I can completely understand the jaded attitude about women here. The good ones are largely paired off until death do us part already (the ones who take til death do us part seriously.)

You have to have standards and apply your standards. You are better to be single than to settle. This also I am teaching my children.

And you better be a worthwhile partner. Geared to lead in my son's case; geared to support in my daughter's cases. But in any case able to stand alone and handle one's own life independent of anyone else.

If I can manage that I'll call it good & die satisfied.

 

[Rainman4707]

Correct. I am teaching this to all my children. My dad gave me a college education and a good upbringing. Nothing more. I have had to work & earn everything I have on my own (as those familiar with my story know).

Ok this is long & kind of all over the place. It's the extra "X" chromosome....

What echoes in my mind from my teen years is: "You better make grades & learn discipline. When you turn 18 or graduate high school, whichever comes later, you can go to college or you can go to work BUT YOU CAN'T LIVE HERE".

All 4 siblings at my house got the message and got educated & able to support ourselves. And do or can if necessary.

My parents did not mean shack up with some dude either. How embarrassing for yourself and your family was the message. Dependence is embarrassing.

It was a powerful message that I am teaching my kids too but I'm casting it in a more positive light. It was that message that reverberated that I would be REQUIRED to be on my own, so I better plan accordingly.

My mom hated being dependent on my Dad financially and held him in contempt over it until she divorced him for cheating with my step-mom (of 30+ years now).

So I have to filter out the garbage part of my Mom's message and take out her bitter spin. She is bitter and bitter is bad.

I'm the oldest. When I went to college my Dad said "Look. You got 4 years. In two years the next sibling will start college...the 3rd sibling 2 years after that. I can't afford 3 of you in university at once. Study and get done on time or finish on your dime. Graduate school or professional school is YOUR financial responsibility"

I looked down on the "MRS" degree seeking women in college. You know, the ones who were there on the family dime to find a good husband? Some of those girls, looking back were very marriageable. More so than I was in fact. Many were raised in traditional homes and taught what it meant to be a good wife.

I got some of that messaging from my grandmother (happily married 24 years, widowed, again happily married later for 28 years, widowed once again) but I didn't see how important her wisdom was until much later.

I got both a BS and a BA in 4 years. Went to summer school every year. Carried at times 18 or 21 hours. And worked. And was in student government and was a VP in my sorority my junior & senior years. I graduated with both degrees the August that sibling #3 started university (exactly 4 years after I started). And the Monday after I graduated college? I went to work full time at the place where I had earned an internship my senior year. Graduated Saturday, full time to work on the following Monday.

From there I built my career & my businesses.

That is work ethic.

I teach my children independence, work ethic, and personal responsibility.

From independence springs interdependence. Steven Covey & others have written about interdependence.

Interdependence is only possible between two independent people, meaning two people who can stand alone but CHOOSE to enter an interdependent relationship. Such relationships are healthy because the two people in them are healthy. Trouble is there are fewer and fewer healthy independent women out there. Probably fewer independent men too as parents remain willing to spoil their offspring well into adulthood.

I cringe when parents spoil their children this way (allowing a cushy lifestyle on Mom & Dad's -usually Dad's- dime) because it keeps the children dependent and doesn't force personal accountability or responsibility to develop. It's a great disservice to one's children.

But I digress.

I'm raising my kids to be independent responsible adults. And I'm trying to guide them through all the choices that come with growing up...or put them in situations where they get proper guidance.

I saw an interview of Trump where he talks about embarrassing his daughters in front of their dates to never get drunk; that drunk women get taken advantage of. My Dad used to reload shotgun shells, work on gunstocks, or Bleu a rifle barrel when my dates would pick me up. Dates were scared to death of my Dad & so I didn't date much.

There ARE women like me and families raising responsible young people out there. You aren't going to find them, by & large, in an alcohol fueled bar driven environment. And they will get taken off the market young in many cases.

So I can completely understand the jaded attitude about women here. The good ones are largely paired off until death do us part already (the ones who take til death do us part seriously.)

You have to have standards and apply your standards. You are better to be single than to settle. This also I am teaching my children.

And you better be a worthwhile partner. Geared to lead in my son's case; geared to support in my daughter's cases. But in any case able to stand alone and handle one's own life independent of anyone else.

If I can manage that I'll call it good & die satisfied.

Great post.
Sometimes I look back & wish that i'd worked harder when I was younger, but I had the best times of my life partying with my friends & girls, so I am where I am now (no point looking back) I was an average student. Intermediate. Had fun with my friends so didn't study as much. If I could go back maybe I would stick in more at studies. Curiosity is a big part of my personality. I want to know stuff, so I now study & read a LOT.

I've always had a thought that has never gone away. The cannibal of the movie Con Air said " What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?

 

[BeExcellent]

Sometimes I look back & wish that i'd worked harder when I was younger...

I've always had a thought that has never gone away. The cannibal of the movie Con Air said " What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?

Exactly. Now the question, comes back to how does one avoid the fate of the masses? And does one have the courage to do that?

And we arrive back at everything this forum stands for.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Great post.
Sometimes I look back & wish that i'd worked harder when I was younger, but I had the best times of my life partying with my friends & girls, so I am where I am now (no point looking back) I was an average student. Intermediate. Had fun with my friends so didn't study as much. If I could go back maybe I would stick in more at studies. Curiosity is a big part of my personality. I want to know stuff, so I now study & read a LOT.

I've always had a thought that has never gone away. The cannibal of the movie Con Air said " What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?

That partying I did over that long stretch of time took a lot of my $$$, time and energy. I could've been so much further ahead in life, instead I drank and ran away from responsibilities and hurt people I cared about because I was having "fun". Most of my "friends" who I LOVED so much that I would step infront of a gunman for, would help when they were down, where where they when I was down? Gone. 95% of "party friends" are not friends. I wish my party phase lasted MUCH shorter so I could appreciate my life earlier on.

 

[exhausted]

I really don't understand why you are so desperate to be married.

As for arranged marriage, I am half-Romanian Gypsy. Arranged marriage happens in that culture still.

My mother tried that crap with me. There wasn't a chance in hell that I was going to give up my freedom like that.

You are "lucky beyond words". You are free, and have power.

Yet you aren't making the most of it.

I dont want to be married. No way eith today's woman. Cant trust them.
Just want to find a genuine and honest woman tho there is no possibility of that.