Has SS helped or hurt your overall game?

[SoldMySoul]

This is a question I think about from time to time since I have been coming here for over 5 years. I lurked for a year I guess before joining. I am starting to grasp why I used to be more successful than now. MY ATTITUDE!!!

For me, even though I enjoy participating, I certainly feel it has hurt my game some. Why? Because instead of doing what I used to (some afc things/ some dj things) Now I am too critical and analytical of the game. I will avoid all afc behavior altogether now.

Being a gentleman has never changed in my playbook, but over thinking things has gone up tremendously. Certain things have remained the same.

Take the popular thread about not opening the car door out of principle: Should you place your principle's so high that you stop doing what has worked for you in the past? I think not! Some on here feel he did right by not compromising, but at what point do you lower yourself?

Being a gentleman and possessing chivalry with a little bit of ****y and funny was something I was doing before coming here anyways. At times, over doing the C&F has gotten me into trouble like many of you.

I am starting to believe one thing that David Dangelo firmly believes in and teaches: Attraction is not a choice. That right there is undeniable and if you have it and do not do too much afc and keep oneitis at bay, you will have luck in dating.

Chivalry does not make you a chump, but being an a$$ because of your false principles will make you look bad. Dating truly is a numbers game. One HB 7 may think you are okay and another HB8/9 may really like you. If a woman is not into you, you cannot do anything to change her real perception. Having money and being successful does not count for what she really feels. Just like a woman you aren't feeling. There is not much she can do to change your mind. Sure you may have sex with her because of being in a drought or other reasons, but will you give an opportunity in the long run? NOPE!

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Sold your Soul,
Yes S.S. has helped me....greatly....you will score a smaller percentage of successes but winnow out a lot of potentially time wasting if not dangerous chaff...having said that,I open Car doors and hold doors,its never damaged my image.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Dear Sold your Soul,
Yes S.S. has helped me....greatly....you will score a smaller percentage of successes but winnow out a lot of potentially time wasting if not dangerous chaff...having said that,I open Car doors and hold doors,its never damaged my image.

As far as weeding the bad ones out, then SS has helped me a great deal, but over thinking and analyzing is something I need to stop so I can enjoy myself more. The blame goes to here because you take all that is in the bible and you start over thinking it.

I am going to start doing what I used to do and keep the afcish things at bay. My overall opinion of women has changed since coming here... not that I blame the forum for that. I contribute that to real life experience with them.

 

[SoldMySoul]

it helps out chumps you have no clue on women who need the fundamentals but after that there is not much. plus the forum board has made some men bitter and have hatred towards women.

The difference between learning by reading and doing. Doing is what gives you the experience. If you do not get out there and do, then you have zero experience.

Sometimes the bitterness does show with us on the forums, but I think it is because misery loves company. When I have been bitter, I will join in, but that goes away and I get back on track.

You cannot be successful with women being bitter towards them, that sir, is dead on!

Reminds me of what Warrior74 said in another post, I believe it was him. "None of us are Alpha." I liked his reasons behind saying that. There is always someone that will out perform and do you. I like the thinking, "I do not consider myself Alpha, but I do a pretty good job of being who I am."

 

[HeMan]

it has helped me alot too

teaches you to believe in yourself and strive to become the best man possible.

people who take it to the extreme and become *******s must have inner issues they need to deal with

 

[K-man]

Sold my Soul,

I agree a lot with what you say. Though SS has helped me a lot we must not forget that we have different personalities and although much of the advice here is very helpful, we all need to find a way that works for us as individuals!

And that means a lot of practice. In the real world.

The main things I personally have learned here is to get rid of the scarcity mentality and that plate spinning is a viable strategy.

And that the true goal of a DJ is to build a life around himself, not to prove his worth by doing things that makes him look succesful in the eyes of others.

 

[SoldMySoul]

SS has helped me a lot we must not forget that we have different personalities and although much of the advice here is very helpful, we all need to find a way that works for us as individuals!

And that means a lot of practice. In the real world.

Absolutely! In the long run SS is the real deal. I always come back here when I am going through slow periods to brush up and see what is going on. When I am not seen on here for awhile, I am out there doing.

I like the overall work on you attitude and that is what is key, but if you try to use game based on another member's results, there is no guarantee it will work wonders for you. Sure some of it will work, but things are dynamic and not every person is alike.

In essence, I agree with this site really helps those who have limited or no experience at all as The dude eluded to.

 

[hithard]

The best deal is not to stay here too long. I do a month stint every 1-2 years to brush up on some good advice from the older guys then its back to real life. If you stay here too long you get to critical of the process.

 

[romangod]

I have a fondness for SS. Some here know my story and they were of great help as I was going through a major struggle. They were a big part of my rehabilitation and I think of them often with respect and affection.


I try to give back when I can. Especially, if someone is sincere in their confusion. I have little patience for egotistical hammerheads that are living a lie. Maybe when they crash I can be of help but until then it's best to stand back.


SS played a big part in separating the wheat from the chaff. Two things stand out that have stuck with me and are finally so embedded that they are part of who I am.


Firstly, I am the prize. I say this without ego or as a defense mechanism. I firmly believe it. With this belief comes fearlessness. I don't care what women think of me and they sense that as I confidently look them in the eye and playfully bust their balls. They see a man that is comfortable with himself and they find it attractive.


Secondly, I've learned not to settle. A woman's character is now the most important attribute. I'm older now and have had my share of naughty flings and LTRs that were based on sex and only sex. Luckily, I was never trapped and unconsciously knew it wasn't what I wanted. SS made me realize this although deep down I always knew it.

These are my thoughts for what they're worth.


Cheers!

 

[ken chang]

SS and knowledge of PU hasn't helped me to get girls or improve my game in any way.

But it has helped me to not spend my hard earned money on the girl, to not be her emotional tampon, and to not let her be the center of my world.

 

[squirrels]

It has helped. Especially the "early stuff"...DJ Bible, etc.

It only starts to "hurt" when it becomes about the philosophy and discussion for its own sake. Then it's more about ego.

Plus, most of us were raised "AFC", so if you're around here long enough, it becomes way too easy to start letting your ingrained tendencies manifest in discussion.

 

[jophil28]

Alcoholics Anonymous has a wise offering to those who participate in their program.. "Take what you need and leave the rest."

 

[jophil28]

WE have analysed, diagnosed criticized and stereotyped a whole lot of women here. Our skills in observing, evaluating, testing and scrutinizing women for personality flaws and porentially destructive behavior has risen to admirable heights - only problem now is that there are hardly any sane women left ....

 

[Demodulate]

SS has taught me not to be a doormat for woman.

I never came here to get chicks.. I came here to deal with the fallout of being a chump..

 

[zekko]

I'm always surprised when I read a post from some new guy who has been here a few weeks or a month and he says that SS has completely transformed his life and totally changed his luck with women. I honestly can't say that this place has changed my life much one way or the other.
But there are a few reasons for that:

1) I'm 50 frigging years old. If I hadn't figured most of this stuff out on my own by the time I came here I would have had to live a pretty sheltered life.
2) I'm not "in the game" anyway, since I've been happily living with my girlfriend for the last seven years. It's not like I'm out sarging.

I could see that if a guy was young and inexperienced that this place could make a big impact on him. I wish I could have had access to this stuff back when I was in my 20s, it might have changed some things. That's probably the ideal age to read this stuff, or younger.

This forum has helped me a little bit I would say, mainly with tips to keep thinking positive, motivating me, and by clarifying a few things. It hasn't changed my view of women at all. I had a pretty solid handle on their "true nature" when I came here. Sometimes I do find some of the more extreme sleaziness around here a little disturbing.

 

[PokerStar]

my vocab isnt the greatest but im giving this one a shot.

SS has helped me leaps and bounds. Ive learned to not give a crap, not to become so outcome dependant. I dont care anymore how I treat women (not to say I abuse them) I get more laughs teasing and negging then actually trying to pick them up.

anyway, SS is one of my top fave sites at the moment. I just wish that I discovered this place sooner. Before I found this place I was really questioning myself about who I am and why do I feel like I'm always getting the short end of the stick.

I dont think that way anymore. Now I just look for longer sticks.

 

[Kailex]

SoSuave has helped me overall with the X's and O's of the "game", but my self-esteem and confidence were always there. SoSuave helped me, though, by giving me an introspective into the inside of what both men and women want.

But if there was anything that it helped me do was help break the "Blueprint" of a man's life. I came to this forum thinking that it would help me find the perfect wife and be happily ever after. Instead, I found out that I need to fulfill myself first as a person before I can even get to the point where I could even consider getting married.

I don't have to follow a line that has been dictated to us and thrust upon us as a social hierarchy. I'm perfectly happy on my own and doing my own thing and to that I owe my greatest success. I've always had decent success with women, even if a few led to eventual ONEITIS's but the grasping the concept of "Monogamy as a last resort" has set me free from all of the social conventions that are preached upon us.

Life isn't about the search for a perfect mate to settle down with, life is about enjoying each and every moment it has to offer to us, even if it means being alone... it can be done. Women aren't the focus, just the compliment to an already full life.

Without SS, I probably would have never realized that.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Helped. Big time.

I came here in January or February of 2000. (I vaguely remember the site having a black background and yellowish font.) I knew I had confidence, but I was in a shell in those days - just out of college and no clue how to pick up chicks with anything other than mutual drunkenness.

That was way before my time. I have always remembered this site looking like it does now. I agree with you about the part of always being confident. The main thing I learned here is about the games and how to improve yourself and not use a woman to make you happy. She should be an addition to your happiness, not the sole reason for it.

I have only sought advice a handful of times and that was mostly right after my divorce in 2006, when my game was very rusty. I like seeing what is going on with others and the stories that arise with them.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Well, given the chance, I'd buy the beers for a lot of you folks...

SS has helped me a lot actually, to see reality for what it is....and find my place, as a unique man, in that reality. My goal was never to bang a lot of gals, but more of tapping into my own masculinity.

The men of the mature forum have helped me avoid disaster with some gals, the health forum opened the door to gaining 20 pounds of muscle, and SS has shown that we can all learn from each other's experiences.

Men helping men kick ass in life. It really is a great thing.

 

[Colossus]

I have been here off and on for almost 6 years. For the first few years I wouldnt say Souave directly helped me in any way----it just made me more aware of what was happening and quite frankly just caused me to over-analyze every little word and action.

It wasn't until the last couple years, when I got real-world EXPERIENCE, that things have started to come together for me. All this stuff I have read over the years can now start fall into place because the foundation of experience is there...I've developed the ability to filter opinions. When you're young and impressionable you have all these different viewpoints coming at you and you're trying to reconcile their contradictory nature in your head---it can really do more harm than good because you dont know what to believe.

I think the biggest lesson I've learned is that no one woman will bring you this mythical happiness. We are taught to dream that one person will come along one day and negate all our past indiscretions, fix our failures and repair our wounds from being fvcked over. Fantasy. Even a lot of self-proclaimed DJs still believe that. And for the record, I dont really subscribe to the binary AFC-DJ thing anymore. It's about self-ownership and self-fulfillment. There is no way in hell you will ever be happy in this life until you can reconcile with yourself. If you cannot find fulfillment without a woman, you will never find it with a woman.

And on the subject of game, that is an ongoing learning process. Times change, people change. You have to adapt and experiment, dont be afraid to put yourself out there and maybe fail. "Game" isnt about getting this winning edge over women, its about having a grip on reality and being socially skillful. That's it. It's a dynamic process. Opening doors, not opening doors----we're splitting hairs here. Dont fall into the trap of micro-analysis. Just be a Goddamned man and stop thinking about AFC, PUA, DJ, WXYZ.