To expand on why why I keep reading the DJ bible to this day, in short, I don't want to be caught slipping. I use the AA analogy, "keep coming back" alot. People that go to meetings everyday for 15 years aren't there so much to learn something new as much as they are to not forget what they learned. Sometimes you have to be reminded things. I like the frame in my relationship now, and this is what I did to get it, so what sense does it make to keep changing things? I didn't "win", the credits haven't rolled.
Got to stay on your toes, there is a level of comfort but don't get all too comfortable. For instance, my GF has never been just a makeup queen or antyhing, she's pretty natural but when I met her, even when she was living with her room mate, she KEPT her hair done, at all times. I like that, espically the way she usually wears it. Well recently, the last month or so, she just, hasn't bothered. normally, 'oh after 3 years this is what happens".. damnit that's not how I roll. Bu t I also feel, it should always be a woman's idea to do something, never tell a woman what to do, if it's her idea, she will get all into it and thinks he's doing it for you. And with the kid and all and we have been going from little rock to here and Louisville, I cut her some slack, you know sometimes you just don't feel like it, but i know her to the point where i know she was just getting comfortable and figured i wouldn't care, well i did. we went out one night, and i "accidentally" ran into my old oneitis and her husband out on the town (i knew they would be there) and I went out of my way to let her know how much I liked her hair and she really had put her outfit together and how her nails matched the color of her outfit and all (it did).. It seemed guinuine. actually truth be told it was, my old oneitis has extremely thick red hair and i know first hand what she has to go through to "put it together" and it was defiantly put together, really what I was saying as she knew it, was that she wasn't having a bad hair day or a "cap day" as she calls it, that's not how my GF took it becuase she doesn't know. Anyway,. I didn't have to tell her, she got the point or got the idea to get her hair, nails and toes done, so the next day she went to the mall and got it all done.. even bought an outfit while she was there lol. she wasn't going to be outdid by my ex.
Little stuff like that, is why I still read the DJ bible. 3 years, I still have frame. I don't read the bible everyday, maybe you start to believe that after 3 years you know what, there are some things you "just have to accept". Even sex, we don't have sex more than 2-3 times a week mainly becuase I'm not a horn toad. When i hit the bed most the time I would just like to hold her and go to bed.
Anyway, it's about maintain as much of the frame as possible from when you first started. Some things you have to concede just out of common sense. We are going to watch dancing with the stars rather I like it or not. She generally decides what we are going to eat, and that's her thing and she will throw a hissy fit if I try to dictate what we are going to eat so you know what.. you do what you do. You pick and chose your battles, that's not one worth fighting and she isn't a horrible cook. But for the most part, the frame is in tact.
