Harsh Truth: Women pursue the men that they want

[GoodMan32]

This was something that really took off with the Millennial generation when women started thinking they were special snowflakes from their participation trophies that started in the 1990s. This entitled attitude combined with abundance from tech methods led to a lot of this behavior.

The "nexting" thing is yet another catch 22.

"Nexting" certainly appears to be a common trend.

But at the same time, plenty of men manage to keep a Millennial/Gen Z woman. Which begs the question of how they manage to avoid the "nexting." Surely they've committed offenses the typical Millennial/Gen Z woman thinks are worthy of a "nexting"

 

[SW15]

But at the same time, plenty of men manage to keep a Millennial/Gen Z woman. Which begs the question of how they manage to avoid the "nexting." Surely they've committed offenses the typical Millennial/Gen Z woman thinks are worthy of a "nexting"

It's some combination of looks, money, status, and personality that will keep a woman around for a longer period of time.

Usually looks but sometimes money is the leading factor of the 4.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's some combination of looks, money, status, and personality that will keep a woman around for a longer period of time.

Usually looks but sometimes money is the leading factor of the 4.

I don't doubt that looks and money can play a major role.

That being said, there are male coworkers with neither of those things who manage to hold onto Millennial/Gen Z gals.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

No, as @SW15 indicated on his post, a man approaching a woman wasn't really a thing until some time in the 20th century.

Here's my takeaway: Since a man approaching a woman is a relatively new trend (in the grand scheme of history/evolution), it's unnatural. That's why the current culture of a man approaching a woman leads to a lot of bitterness on both sides (men are bitter we need to approach, the ladies are bitter about getting approached...because of course they only want to get approached by Chad or Tyrone)

Some of the ideas I've proposed (about striving for a societal shift where a man no longer has to approach a woman) on the forum sound far-fetched...but at least I have history on my side. For the vast majority of history, a man didn't really have to approach a woman.

i like to believe there is a lot of truth to that, because, if men approaching women is meant to be the natural order of things, then there would be no such thing as approach anxiety and plus, equally a good point, so many women would not have their guard up or feel awkward, uncomfortable, when men approach/make advances on them, or that it would be impossible for men to get labeled creepy/weird when approaching or making advances on women.

Anyway, interesting discussion, but nevertheless, men will more than likely always be stuck with this whether they like it or not

 

[tksniper]

Fear of missing out is actually greater than desire. You see this when it comes to investing and "fomo'ing". The best way to have women chasing after you is to have other women.

AS men, we don't know ANYTHING about being seduced or pursued until we've had social proof and multiple options competing for us. That girl smiling at you is not pursuing you. She's just giving you a window to pursue HER.

Giving guys an opportunity to pursue them is most women's default mode....Until competition/social proof/scarcity comes into play. Then they become aggressive.

 

[GoodMan32]

Fear of missing out is actually greater than desire. You see this when it comes to investing and "fomo'ing". The best way to have women chasing after you is to have other women.

AS men, we don't know ANYTHING about being seduced or pursued until we've had social proof and multiple options competing for us. That girl smiling at you is not pursuing you. She's just giving you a window to pursue HER.

Giving guys an opportunity to pursue them is most women's default mode....Until competition/social proof/scarcity comes into play. Then they become aggressive.

As true as what you're saying is, the truth sucks.

It's basically impossible for me to tell the difference between mere niceness vs a woman giving me a cue to pursue her.

Since I don't want to humiliate myself by mistaking niceness for interest, I refrain from making a move. I could kick myself when I think of all the possible opportunities I probably let slip away through the years because of my fear of mistaking niceness for interest.