Harsh Truth: Women pursue the men that they want

[CornbreadFed]

Cold approach sucks because it seems like every sane girl ranging from a 6-8 has a bf above their smv. Dating apps will at supposedly put you in front of “single” women though.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

To answer your question of why autism hasn't been bred out of the gene pool, there are a few reasons.

1. Up until relatively recently (in the grand scheme of history), society was set up so that just about every man could get a woman.

That's certainly how it was when my grandparents (Silent Generation) were coming of age.

As for my parents (on the older end of Gen X), by the time my parents were coming of age, society was no longer set up so that getting a woman was guaranteed...but getting a woman was still a lot easier in the 80s compared to right now. Millennials (my generation) are the first generation where being an autist really holds a man back (in terms of getting a woman)

2. To build upon what I just said, autism isn't entirely genetic anyway. Neither parent of mine is an autist, yet here I am.

3. That being said, genetics at least partially play a role (if you have an autist for a parent, you're more likely to be an autist compared to a baby with 2 neurotypical parents). Since, as you illustrated, autism/social awkwardness doesn't hold a woman back from getting a man, there are plenty of female autists who pass their genes on.

for number 1, i think what you are referring to is that, for most of human civilization, there was arranged married dynamics, people were set up, introduced to each other, so my guess is, cold approach, or approach was not neccessary as much back then, or it wasn't so much of the man being the one to initiate, people were just set up with each other.

 

[GoodMan32]

Approaching strangers in non-bar venues is a difficult path for most men.

On college campuses, almost everyone is unmarried. That isn't meaningful because a large percentage of college women have boyfriends at any given time.

For those in the working world, most women are in relationships at any given moment. Approaching in a grocery store, gym/fitness class, or at the mall isn't going to be fruitful. Most women in relationships won't tend to let men know about their relationship. They will be distant and non-responsive in an approach and let the interaction die out before they have to deliver that information.

Men can choose to do approaches in parts of their cities where unmarried people tend to be most common. Even in those parts of the city, most women will be in relationships at any given time.

This makes doing non-bar approaching much more difficult.

Night game has its own set of challenges. In theory, women who show up to nightlife venues are more likely to be unattached and in the market for meeting new men. That fact alone has value.



That is true about social circle. I have received few social circle introductions in my lifetime.



That's because of your baggage. If you fixed your mindset, you would want women close to your own age.



This is in part because of your current attitude.

Drug addicts can be fixed in drug rehab. A lot of your problems are fixable. Almost every one of your problems identified in the first post of this thread is a fixable problem with the correct attitude, medication, and mental health professionals. The fixes are likely to be difficult though.

my struggles with the ladies go way beyond mere social awkwardness

I was having a DM discussion with another member where I mentioned how my struggles with the ladies go beyond mere social awkwardness/ASD. Come to think of it, I suppose the topic warrants its own thread. In addition to my ASD/social awkwardness, there are many other factors working against me...

www.sosuave.net

The least fixable problem you have right now is your work/financial history. You are 33, far from college graduation, and don't have a good work history.

All of the problems I listed on that post are rooted in my ASD in some way, shape, or form. There's no cure for ASD.

Then there's my phobia of pregnancy. Even though I didn't list my phobia of pregnancy on that post, my pregnancy phobia (which is why I don't want a woman close in age to me anyway) is also rooted in my ASD.

I just thought of another hurdle I face in getting a woman: As much as I'd like to think I'm wrong, I'd guess the majority of the female population would refuse to let me watch while they pee.

If a majority of the female population will always be off limits to me no matter what (because they won't indulge in my fetish), what's the point of fixing my problems?

 

[GoodMan32]

Consider going on Tinder.
If you are a 8.5+. You will slay.

Seeing as I got nowhere on Feeld this past summer, I obviously wouldn't slay on Tinder.

 

[GoodMan32]

for number 1, i think what you are referring to is that, for most of human civilization, there was arranged married dynamics, people were set up, introduced to each other, so my guess is, cold approach, or approach was not neccessary as much back then, or it wasn't so much of the man being the one to initiate, people were just set up with each other.

Which makes the idea that cold-approaching a woman (or approaching a woman at all) is "just something men have to do" and is "the natural order of life; a tradition stretching back eons" absurd.

 

[SW15]

Dating apps will at supposedly put you in front of “single” women though.

Yes, that is supposedly true. A woman on an app is supposed to be actively marketing herself for mating purposes as compared to the average female not on an app.

When a man daygames (even in a part of his city with mainly unmarried people), he's running into a lot of women who aren't actively seeking new penis. Most of the women don't inform him that they aren't seeking new penis, the conversations tend to naturally die out within 30-60 seconds, before a date can be offered unless someone goes very direct with a date offer.

Cold approach sucks because it seems like every sane girl ranging from a 6-8 has a bf above their smv.

Approaching strangers sucks because few women are receptive to being approached, especially in non-bar settings. Gyms, parks, and paths are being destroyed by earbuds/headphones. Many women have boyfriends already. Nightlife venues have been affected by the swipe apps and there's less of an approach culture.

All of the problems I listed on that post are rooted in my ASD in some way, shape, or form. There's no cure for ASD.

Then there's my phobia of pregnancy. Even though I didn't list my phobia of pregnancy on that post, my pregnancy phobia (which is why I don't want a woman close in age to me anyway) is also rooted in my ASD.

Your psychotherapists have done a piss poor job with you. They are a complete embarrassment to the profession.

Which makes the idea that cold-approaching a woman (or approaching a woman at all) is "just something men have to do" and is "the natural order of life; a tradition stretching back eons" absurd.

Approaching strangers for sex/dating purposes is something that grew a lot in the 20th Century. It was less common prior to the 20th Century. A lot of mating relationships were formed through social tribes in earlier centuries.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Seeing as I got nowhere on Feeld this past summer, I obviously wouldn't slay on Tinder.

Yes, that is supposedly true. A woman on an app is supposed to be actively marketing herself for mating purposes as compared to the average female not on an app.

When a man daygames (even in a part of his city with mainly unmarried people), he's running into a lot of women who aren't actively seeking new penis. Most of the women don't inform him that they aren't seeking new penis, the conversations tend to naturally die out within 30-60 seconds, before a date can be offered unless someone goes very direct with a date offer.



Approaching strangers sucks because few women are receptive to being approached, especially in non-bar settings. Gyms, parks, and paths are being destroyed by earbuds/headphones. Many women have boyfriends already. Nightlife venues have been affected by the swipe apps and there's less of an approach culture.



Your psychotherapists have done a piss poor job with you. They are a complete embarrassment to the profession.



Approaching strangers for sex/dating purposes is something that grew a lot in the 20th Century. It was less common prior to the 20th Century. A lot of mating relationships were formed through social tribes in earlier centuries.

All of the problems I listed on that post are rooted in my ASD in some way, shape, or form. There's no cure for ASD.

Then there's my phobia of pregnancy. Even though I didn't list my phobia of pregnancy on that post, my pregnancy phobia (which is why I don't want a woman close in age to me anyway) is also rooted in my ASD.

I just thought of another hurdle I face in getting a woman: As much as I'd like to think I'm wrong, I'd guess the majority of the female population would refuse to let me watch while they pee.

If a majority of the female population will always be off limits to me no matter what (because they won't indulge in my fetish), what's the point of fixing my problems?

Your problems are beyond the scope of this forum.
Again. Seek professional help.
Nothing more we can do for you.

I’m out.
Goodbye.

 

[GoodMan32]

Your problems are beyond the scope of this forum.
Again. Seek professional help.
Nothing more we can do for you.

I’m out.
Goodbye.

A severely mentally ill man yelling at thin air as he walks down the street could be fixed with medication.

Since there's no cure for ASD, on the other hand, mental illnesses that are rooted in ASD are unable to be cured.

I guess I need to accept the fact most gals will never be into me (because of my problems rooted in ASD)

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Yes, that is supposedly true. A woman on an app is supposed to be actively marketing herself for mating purposes as compared to the average female not on an app.

When a man daygames (even in a part of his city with mainly unmarried people), he's running into a lot of women who aren't actively seeking new penis. Most of the women don't inform him that they aren't seeking new penis, the conversations tend to naturally die out within 30-60 seconds, before a date can be offered unless someone goes very direct with a date offer.



Approaching strangers sucks because few women are receptive to being approached, especially in non-bar settings. Gyms, parks, and paths are being destroyed by earbuds/headphones. Many women have boyfriends already. Nightlife venues have been affected by the swipe apps and there's less of an approach culture.



Your psychotherapists have done a piss poor job with you. They are a complete embarrassment to the profession.



Approaching strangers for sex/dating purposes is something that grew a lot in the 20th Century. It was less common prior to the 20th Century. A lot of mating relationships were formed through social tribes in earlier centuries.

and people always argue or say that men approaching women has been the standard since the beginning of time, is there any proof or evidence to support that? people also argue and say, men court women, its been like that traditionally, history discussions can be interesting and cool

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

A severely mentally ill man yelling at thin air as he walks down the street could be fixed with medication.

Since there's no cure for ASD, on the other hand, mental illnesses that are rooted in ASD are unable to be cured.

I guess I need to accept the fact most gals will never be into me (because of my problems rooted in ASD)

yeah some people might argue, physically disabled men stand a better chance with women than autistic men do, because apparently a mans communication ability matters more than women's does when it comes to attraction

 

[GoodMan32]

and people always argue or say that men approaching women has been the standard since the beginning of time, is there any proof or evidence to support that? people also argue and say, men court women, its been like that traditionally, history discussions can be interesting and cool

No, as @SW15 indicated on his post, a man approaching a woman wasn't really a thing until some time in the 20th century.

Here's my takeaway: Since a man approaching a woman is a relatively new trend (in the grand scheme of history/evolution), it's unnatural. That's why the current culture of a man approaching a woman leads to a lot of bitterness on both sides (men are bitter we need to approach, the ladies are bitter about getting approached...because of course they only want to get approached by Chad or Tyrone)

Some of the ideas I've proposed (about striving for a societal shift where a man no longer has to approach a woman) on the forum sound far-fetched...but at least I have history on my side. For the vast majority of history, a man didn't really have to approach a woman.

 

[GoodMan32]

yeah some people might argue, physically disabled men stand a better chance with women than autistic men do, because apparently a mans communication ability matters more than women's does when it comes to attraction

Unfortunate but true. It's been pointed out on the forum before that a woman will "next" a man for the most trivial reasons.

 

[SW15]

It's been pointed out on the forum before that a woman will "next" a man for the most trivial reasons.

This was something that really took off with the Millennial generation when women started thinking they were special snowflakes from their participation trophies that started in the 1990s. This entitled attitude combined with abundance from tech methods led to a lot of this behavior.

 

[GoodMan32]

This was something that really took off with the Millennial generation when women started thinking they were special snowflakes from their participation trophies that started in the 1990s. This entitled attitude combined with abundance from tech methods led to a lot of this behavior.

The "nexting" thing is yet another catch 22.

"Nexting" certainly appears to be a common trend.

But at the same time, plenty of men manage to keep a Millennial/Gen Z woman. Which begs the question of how they manage to avoid the "nexting." Surely they've committed offenses the typical Millennial/Gen Z woman thinks are worthy of a "nexting"

 

[SW15]

But at the same time, plenty of men manage to keep a Millennial/Gen Z woman. Which begs the question of how they manage to avoid the "nexting." Surely they've committed offenses the typical Millennial/Gen Z woman thinks are worthy of a "nexting"

It's some combination of looks, money, status, and personality that will keep a woman around for a longer period of time.

Usually looks but sometimes money is the leading factor of the 4.

 

[GoodMan32]

It's some combination of looks, money, status, and personality that will keep a woman around for a longer period of time.

Usually looks but sometimes money is the leading factor of the 4.

I don't doubt that looks and money can play a major role.

That being said, there are male coworkers with neither of those things who manage to hold onto Millennial/Gen Z gals.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

No, as @SW15 indicated on his post, a man approaching a woman wasn't really a thing until some time in the 20th century.

Here's my takeaway: Since a man approaching a woman is a relatively new trend (in the grand scheme of history/evolution), it's unnatural. That's why the current culture of a man approaching a woman leads to a lot of bitterness on both sides (men are bitter we need to approach, the ladies are bitter about getting approached...because of course they only want to get approached by Chad or Tyrone)

Some of the ideas I've proposed (about striving for a societal shift where a man no longer has to approach a woman) on the forum sound far-fetched...but at least I have history on my side. For the vast majority of history, a man didn't really have to approach a woman.

i like to believe there is a lot of truth to that, because, if men approaching women is meant to be the natural order of things, then there would be no such thing as approach anxiety and plus, equally a good point, so many women would not have their guard up or feel awkward, uncomfortable, when men approach/make advances on them, or that it would be impossible for men to get labeled creepy/weird when approaching or making advances on women.

Anyway, interesting discussion, but nevertheless, men will more than likely always be stuck with this whether they like it or not