Guys who hit their stride with women, dating, and game after 30, what is your story?

[p_1337]

Being in better shape, better looking, more personable and more seasoned than the guys their own age.

Theres a lot of mass assumptions made in this thread and I can't say I am particularly impressed by any of them

Yea look height / status / money / power of course all these things help

We know full well women will act according to how they FEEL you can make her FEEL things without any of the physical things mentioned above

True Masculinity / confidence sprinkled with a little humour are all you REALLY need to get into bed with women

they are far far too irrational to be heavily swayed by the above

I've hit on a lot of girls over the past decade: and no amount of demonstrated "masculinity", confidence, humor, or personality that I demonstrated mattered if they weren't already attracted (and yes, since really getting into "game" and making dating a regular part of my life about 10 years ago -- I've worked hard to cultivate and grow all of these aforementioned qualities). It's also worth repeating that most of my targets have been entirely removed from social circle (where you have more time to develop a reputation and attraction with women in the periphery), as my focus has been girls at bars/night venues + online game (likely the hardest avenues to meet girls -- as you aren't able to leverage any type of preselection).

Without the aid of an objective observer or someone who really does well with chicks to actively give me feedback -- I feel I fall into an awkward middle ground / place of "game purgatory", where the following dynamic seems to hold true:

- I'm out of the league of average girls. Thus- they will often reject themselves, or will sleep with me only if we meet at the right time (they're horny, fresh out of a breakup, I'm their 'type', etc.). These will often fizzle out after a ONS (most of the since turning 30) or turn into a casual plate situation that dies due to me not being very invested.

- The higher end girls (i.e. stereotypically "hotter" + often in the yolo 18 - 25 range) aren't that interested: as I'm not the archetypal chad, insanely wealthy or have any kind of celebrity status/social media clout.

 

[Glassguy]

@Jesse Pinkman this is a very good topic to a thread.

I can only speak from my personal experience, as I am in my 40s, but I date women much younger than me to women in their late 30s. But I think the perception is still the same if I am dealing with a 25 year old or a 38 year old.

This past weekend I hung out quite a bit with a 28 year old. Extremely fit, very attractive and lots of fun. We actually played some golf, I went with her and a couple of her friends to a dart tournament and went out drinking 2 nights. Funny thing is, she paid for nearly EVERYTHING. Smashed three times over the weekend.....

So.....I have some things to share that may help some guys out when it comes to dating in their 30s/40s, especially when it comes to dating younger women.

1.) You cant perceive your age difference as a weakness, because it is NOT. Over this past weekend, one of the friends of the chick I was with, that is 23 yrs old and absolute smokeshow, made a grandpa joke about my age. By the end of the night she was buying my drinks and talking to me non stop.....because I was intriguing....and she made the comment that she wished she could find someone like me who was a lot of fun but also mature. Granted the 28 year old I was with was also involved in the converastion, but women want a LEADER. Which brings me to #2.

2.) Look at MOST of the single guy choices that a 25-30 year old woman has in this day and age. A lot live in their parent's basement. They either have a dead end job or they owe their soul in financial aid for a college degree that wont get them very far. They have little life experience and still depend on mommy to take care of them. They are basically toddlers in a man body. Most of these millennials cant hold an in-person conversastion and are incels. They have no social calibration and act extremely out of place in a fun public setting.

Its no wonder why its not that hard for a decent looking guy in his late 30s and 40s can still bag younger women.

You just have to be thick skinned, outcome independent, DIRECT, playful yet have a strong frame. Be mysterious but also be clear. If you can do that, you are so far removed from the insecure, jealous and needy dudes talking to themselves in her inbox that youll feel like a breath of fresh air when she is with you.

 

[TheBeginnerMind]

Of course, as men age into their 30’s, what is expected of them in terms of value in the dating market also escalates as well. The alpha behaviour traits they relied on in their 20’s (muscle, game, social status) no longer cover all bases and make him a Don Juan. He just also have social connections and networking abilities to recruit new plates and options (social circle game, using multiple domains as a funnel system to recruit women), he needs to have money around or slightly above average (at least), no longer living with his mom or on his buddy’s couch, ambition, frame, and be further along his over arching “life mission” (ie. no longer an associate but rather now director or partner, senior manager, etc in a position of power). Women’s expectations increase as you age. However, upon first meeting women and ****ing them, the same rules apply at no matter what age: alphas ****. So once you are in your 30’s, it becomes even more paramount that you lift, have a great physique, have proper grooming and hairstyle/skin care/facial hair, that you dress well, and have powerful and dominant body language. If you don’t have these things, you will be “old and invisible/creepy” after 30 to hot younger women. You also need to focus on building your charm, charisma, humour, storey telling abolity, ability to tease and play the fun/loveable *******, ability to control the frame of the conversation and to lead her to the bedroom. All of these alpha traits women spin into an emotional whirlwind of arousal, dopamine, and anxiety, los8!( their minds and can’t resist but to **** the DJ casting his spell upon her. As you become more beta (more money, more secure lifestyle, better at relationship skills, managing relationships, etc), the need for alpha traits become more important in dating. The change for me in my 30’s was no longer relying SOLELY what worked for me in the past (online dating, approaching women at grocery store/gym/apartment building, cold approach and sarging), all favouring alpha behaviour traits. But to also utilize “social circle game”. This means using female wingmen, making as many friend circles as possible with men who have access to beautiful women, networking events where people are meeting people, constantly putting myself out there and into funnels where I can be constantly meeting with and having access to beautiful women. Since 90+% of every man a woman has ****ed and dates was met through her girlfriends and social circles, it would help to go sarge where the women are. This change in approach to meeting women that I made around 30, completely changed the amount of women I was meeting and the quality of those women. Instead of meeting with 7’s and the odd 8 off Hinge, I would be meeting 3x 8’s per week with very little to no effort because my platonic girlfriends were acting as wingmen setting me up with their hot girlfriends. Completely changed the game for me. Same game applies just different domain and method of generating new plates/options.

 

[Murk]

When I was twelve, I looked like 17 and got involved with a twenty-something woman who was deeply into tantra. She taught me how to be a lover. I was heartbroken when she moved away and broke up with me after 15 months.
Between 13-16 years old, I walked around frustrated because I had learned advanced sex while being surrounded by girls my own age who weren't up for actual sexual intercourse yet.

At sixteen I didn't like myself and felt unloved, wondering what I was doing here and went onto the roof of a high-rise building to dive off and end my misery. Standing there I realised that I was only miserable because I cared too much about other people's opinions. A gust of wind threw me from the roof and I managed to twist and grab the edge of the roof. I hung twelve stories high over a parking lot and I shat my pants. And I realised I didn't want to die. Somehow I managed to hoist myself up on the roof, my legs shaking so badly I couldn't stand up and had to crawl over the pebbled roof to the door. I got home and washed out my pants, told my mother I felt sick and went to bed.

After that I stopped caring about education and a future, felt like I was living on borrowed time. I had a reckless IDGAF period where I fought men and fvcked women, but didn't form any relationships. Every week another woman, although some hung around for months, trying to get me into a relationship, but I knew I was bad news and not suitable to settle down with.


At twenty-three I narrowly avoided getting killed by a crazy knife-wielder I had offended and I realised that I was on the wrong path and would die before 30 if I continued that way. I stopped being reckless, took up writing and worked security jobs where I could spend my time working on my novels. I took up aikido and later koryu bujutsu to harness my inner violence. I became calmer and more social.

I learned basic Namikoshi shiatsu from a girlfriend who told me I had to give 500 basic full body treatments to develop my touch before I would study the medical part of shiatsu. So I posted 'wanted' posters all over Amsterdam looking for volunteers who'd get three free shiatsu sessions so I could get my experience.

That was wildly successful - first round I had sixty women coming by my house for shiatsu sessions. After all of them had three sessions per person, I put up a second poster and got eighty more women and two men.
First round got me three lovers and two FWB, second round two lovers.
And I met a Christian virgin ten years my junior. She was principled and wanted to marry a Christian virgin, so I put her on the 'untouchable' list and we became friends. However, she fell in love with me and became my girlfriend nine months later. After four years we married and two years later our son was born. 3.5 years later our daughter was born. A year later, when I found that my job was painting a target on my back, I didn't want to risk my family and got out of the business I was in to become a SAHD while my wife worked full-time.
I got sick and at my lowest point my wife wanted to divorce me after sixteen years together because she wasn't happy anymore.


I got divorced as I closed in on 50. Semi-retired and disabled, I took care of my kids during the school weeks and spent my weekends enjoying myself being alone again. Like before my marriage, I got several lovers but they know they are sharing me. If they don't want that, they'll have to find someone else.
Because I'm very clear on that, I don't have to 'spin plates' but just have several lovers who take turns coming over for my company. Most women enjoy that for 6-12 months, but I have two lovers who have been 'with me' for several years.

I don't know if I do things 'differently' than before my marriage, but being older and more experienced now, I get more and younger women (22-35) who like me because I'm more mature than guys their own age, I'm fun to be with and experienced at kink that is geared toward flexible women. Apart from that I like to tango and go for rides on my motorcycle and there are always women who want to join me.

When I was between 17-23, my IDGAF attitude was dark and nihilistic, but my current IDGAF attitude is more 'live and let live' and 'do what you want as long as you don't harm anyone'. I treat women with kindness, but I'm too experienced to allow them to manipulate me, so my life is pretty drama-free.

This is a hilarious story, starts with you being raped by a paedophile aged 12 learning “advanced sex”, trying to kill yourself, and just gets better. 6/10.

 

[TheBeginnerMind]

This is a hilarious story, starts with you being raped by a paedophile aged 12 learning “advanced sex”, trying to kill yourself, and just gets better. 6/10.

It was a canon event

 

[Murk]

It was a canon event

He then sticks posters up in his city offering a “free massages” and gets 60 women turn up at his house… 3 times each… then another 80 women the second time. It works out great though he marries a virgin (obviously) and now smashes 22 year olds as a 50+ year old advanced sex technician. I’m changing my rating to 7/10. Writing needs some work but the plot is somewhat original.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I got in great shape, found this site, became relentless in my pursuit of banging women, setting up dates and spinning plates, learned from my many initial failed interactions both online and in person until I turned the process into a cookie cutter one that worked well and became like shooting fish in a barrel.

It got the point that I had too many plates at one time(7 or 8 at one point that I was seeing on a rotational basis) and ended up literally almost run ragged from fvcking too much and had to drop back down to 3-4.

Now I am a little more reserved and have been dating my current GF for almost a year.

 

[sangheilios]

I got in great shape, found this site, became relentless in my pursuit of banging women, setting up dates and spinning plates, learned from my many initial failed interactions both online and in person until I turned the process into a cookie cutter one that worked well and became like shooting fish in a barrel.

It got the point that I had too many plates at one time(7 or 8 at one point that I was seeing on a rotational basis) and ended up literally almost run ragged from fvcking too much and had to drop back down to 3-4.

Now I am a little more reserved and have been dating my current GF for almost a year.

LOL

 

[BackInTheGame78]

LOL

You should be laughing at you. While you are crying and whining about what is happening, I am making things happen.

"Life's not fair..."

"Men have all the disadvantages in dating..."

"It's impossible to find quality women these days..."

"I can't do this..."

"I can't do that..."

Man, fvck all that. If you want something in life then get up and go fvcking get it. Attack it. Make it happen. Or dont, but then stop complaining about it because you have no right to at that point. That's it.

Mindset.

The sad part is you don't even realize that your poisoned mindset is the root of your issues and until you address that nothing you do will solve it.

But as always, it's easier to look at all the external things that must be the issue...always is with the people who play the victim in life.

The problem is when nothing is your fault that means you are saying you have no control over the outcome of your life and when you have no control over the outcome of your life then it's impossible to change it. How could you change it when you have no control over it?

Your mindset controls your thoughts. Your thoughts control your behaviors day in and day out. Your behaviors control your actions. Your actions control your results.

Let that resonate with you. Change your life by changing the questions you ask yourself on a daily basis and the answers you give yourself.

 

[BPH]

I just hit 30 last month so I'll let you know how I do in a couple years.

 

[Zontyy]

For the guys in here who got laid more after 30 than before it and feel like they actually hit their stride with women in their 30s while being much worse with them in their 20s, what is your story?

What changed?

What did you feel like you did differently?

Please no incels and depressing posters.

What changed? I lost 120lbs in the span 6 months and instantly had a very nice jawline. I'm already 6'3 depending on the shoes/boots 6'4 to 6'5 so I had the height to my advantage. I found this site which gave me a very in depth view on women. I also more then quadrupled my income. I started studying the bible more, proverbs and psalms really helped along with stoicism.

What did you feel like you did differently? I gained discipline and with that discipline all other factors of my life improved. Granted this last relationship I lost some of that discipline but if anything it's shown me how important it is in life to succeed. Prioritize your health more then anything exercise/sleep/water intake.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

a lot of people say, womens lives start at 18, mens lives start at 30 or older

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

a lot of people say

Yes? Who are they, who say all these things? Where do they come from? Why do they say that? How much is 'a lot'?

The gullibility of this generation is astounding, but I guess that's to be expected when people don't know how to verify the bullsh!t.