For the guys in here who got laid more after 30 than before it and feel like they actually hit their stride with women in their 30s while being much worse with them in their 20s, what is your story?
When I was twelve, I looked like 17 and got involved with a twenty-something woman who was deeply into tantra. She taught me how to be a lover. I was heartbroken when she moved away and broke up with me after 15 months.
Between 13-16 years old, I walked around frustrated because I had learned advanced sex while being surrounded by girls my own age who weren't up for actual sexual intercourse yet.
At sixteen I didn't like myself and felt unloved, wondering what I was doing here and went onto the roof of a high-rise building to dive off and end my misery. Standing there I realised that I was only miserable because I cared too much about other people's opinions. A gust of wind threw me from the roof and I managed to twist and grab the edge of the roof. I hung twelve stories high over a parking lot and I shat my pants. And I realised I didn't want to die. Somehow I managed to hoist myself up on the roof, my legs shaking so badly I couldn't stand up and had to crawl over the pebbled roof to the door. I got home and washed out my pants, told my mother I felt sick and went to bed.
After that I stopped caring about education and a future, felt like I was living on borrowed time. I had a reckless IDGAF period where I fought men and fvcked women, but didn't form any relationships. Every week another woman, although some hung around for months, trying to get me into a relationship, but I knew I was bad news and not suitable to settle down with.
At twenty-three I narrowly avoided getting killed by a crazy knife-wielder I had offended and I realised that I was on the wrong path and would die before 30 if I continued that way. I stopped being reckless, took up writing and worked security jobs where I could spend my time working on my novels. I took up aikido and later koryu bujutsu to harness my inner violence. I became calmer and more social.
I learned basic Namikoshi shiatsu from a girlfriend who told me I had to give 500 basic full body treatments to develop my touch before I would study the medical part of shiatsu. So I posted 'wanted' posters all over Amsterdam looking for volunteers who'd get three free shiatsu sessions so I could get my experience.
That was wildly successful - first round I had sixty women coming by my house for shiatsu sessions. After all of them had three sessions per person, I put up a second poster and got eighty more women and two men.
First round got me three lovers and two FWB, second round two lovers.
And I met a Christian virgin ten years my junior. She was principled and wanted to marry a Christian virgin, so I put her on the 'untouchable' list and we became friends. However, she fell in love with me and became my girlfriend nine months later. After four years we married and two years later our son was born. 3.5 years later our daughter was born. A year later, when I found that my job was painting a target on my back, I didn't want to risk my family and got out of the business I was in to become a SAHD while my wife worked full-time.
I got sick and at my lowest point my wife wanted to divorce me after sixteen years together because she wasn't happy anymore.
What did you feel like you did differently?
I got divorced as I closed in on 50. Semi-retired and disabled, I took care of my kids during the school weeks and spent my weekends enjoying myself being alone again. Like before my marriage, I got several lovers but they know they are sharing me. If they don't want that, they'll have to find someone else.
Because I'm very clear on that, I don't have to 'spin plates' but just have several lovers who take turns coming over for my company. Most women enjoy that for 6-12 months, but I have two lovers who have been 'with me' for several years.
I don't know if I do things 'differently' than before my marriage, but being older and more experienced now, I get more and younger women (22-35) who like me because I'm more mature than guys their own age, I'm fun to be with and experienced at kink that is geared toward flexible women. Apart from that I like to tango and go for rides on my motorcycle and there are always women who want to join me.
When I was between 17-23, my IDGAF attitude was dark and nihilistic, but my current IDGAF attitude is more 'live and let live' and 'do what you want as long as you don't harm anyone'. I treat women with kindness, but I'm too experienced to allow them to manipulate me, so my life is pretty drama-free.
