Guys who hit their stride with women, dating, and game after 30, what is your story?

[Jesse Pinkman]

For the guys in here who got laid more after 30 than before it and feel like they actually hit their stride with women in their 30s while being much worse with them in their 20s, what is your story?

What changed?

What did you feel like you did differently?

Please no incels and depressing posters.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Started cooking after I got my first trailer. In my down time, read a book called "The Game". Something told me to get to work.

 

[BadBoy89]

Best time for me in regards to girls was my late 20s. I got so many dates, calls, connections, many opportunities I'd have hot girls call me up to get together no problem. I went out with Maxim cover girl. I had a 9/10 Persian girl phone me every freaking night to get together, every night. I was getting everything in my late 20s.

The worst time for me in regards to girls was 33-38. It's such much tougher at that age because the girls expect a lot more while giving a lot less. During these ages a man's height is of upmost importance. A girl won't even look at a man if he is not 6'1. I had alot of trouble getting anywhere with average average women. It was a night and day flip from my 20s.

I always hear how guys in their 20s start making alot of money, start working out, start dressing well and get all the girls. I never experienced that. For me, the late 20s are the best time for girls. The 30s are the worst time for the girls.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Best time for me in regards to girls was my late 20s. I got so many dates, calls, connections, many opportunities I'd have hot girls call me up to get together no problem. I went out with Maxim cover girl. I had a 9/10 Persian girl phone me every freaking night to get together, every night. I was getting everything in my late 20s.

The worst time for me in regards to girls was 33-38. It's such much tougher at that age because the girls expect a lot more while giving a lot less. During these ages a man's height is of upmost importance. A girl won't even look at a man if he is not 6'1. I had alot of trouble getting anywhere with average average women. It was a night and day flip from my 20s.

I always hear how guys in their 20s start making alot of money, start working out, start dressing well and get all the girls. I never experienced that. For me, the late 20s are the best time for girls. The 30s are the worst time for the girls.

I’m not even close to 6’1”. Getting girls is not an issue.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I don’t know if things changed all that much. But. As I got older, I got…bolder. More confident. More inclined to take risks and opportunities.

 

[Fruitbat]

Stoppped taking so many drugs

earned more money

stopped trying to game and just was myself - totally against the thought but it’s true for me. Authenticity and DNGAF is better than trying to pretend to be something you’re not.

 

[savi0r]

I was kinda cruising without any specific goals till 30. At 31 I met a really cute 19 years old girl who later would become my girlfriend,we vibed together and i realized I need to change my life a bit. Started hanging with a much younger group of friends,quit smoking, started going to the gym, started eating healthy,focused on my business better. Started reading more and started traveling alot more with that group of friends. At 36 had a hair implant and now i decided to fix all my teeth. Even though i had good teeth, i decided to go for that "hollywood smile", as my dentist calls it. I can't say i am doing great with women, because i have very little free time and don't have that much experience, but i think getting your life together in your 30's is the first step to getting better women. The downside is that i am getting really conscious about my age, the pressure to get marry is really high and even though i am on a good path in life, people judge me somehow because i am not married. My mindset regarding women is kinda bad, i admit that.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

I don't think anyone bothered to read the thread title or what the thread was asking for here....

 

[SW15]

For the guys in here who got laid more after 30 than before it and feel like they actually hit their stride with women in their 30s while being much worse with them in their 20s, what is your story?

What changed?

What did you feel like you did differently?

This question is somewhat applicable for me in my career as a seducer. I had a slow start and gradually built up over time. Here are some factors that have helped me maintain a decent seduction level as I've gotten past 30.

1. No porn & no fap: I didn't start this practice until my early 30s but it is the best tactical Game practice that I've done since turning 30. It enhancces my motivation to approach, is good for testosterone, and good for discipline. I do not see a naked female body unless I do so in-person (sex, strip club, or bikini breastaurant are my choices for seeing what I like). I only have orgasms in sex or a nocturnal emission in my sleep. It's the best practice for getting you ready for stuff that happens in seduction.

2. Finding the right venue for arranging dates based on your goals in romantic interactions: Over time, and especially since my late 20s, I have preferred longer term interactions. According to this blog post below, there are 9 paths for men for their overall romantic lives. According to this model, I have been closest to a serial monogamist (Path #6) but there have been times where I could have been a Player (Path #3)

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to “settle down” in some form or fashion. Today I’m going to...

alphamale20.com

Before I get too deep into analysis, I want to point out what the 4 primary ways are for arranging dates.

A. Tech-based: This is going to be dating apps (usually swipe-based) and social media DMs to strangers (primarily Instagram at this time). Sometimes, a man might DM a random connection of one of his connections. If it's unsolicited, that's tech-based game whereas if it was facilitated by the social circle, that's social circle game.

B. Social circle game: This is when there's an introduction of some sort between mutual friends/acquaintances.

C. Nightgame: This involves going to nightlife venues (bars and nightclubs) and approaching strangers. Random college parties at off campus houses and apartment complexes without strong social ties are also night game and a common form of night game for 18-20 year olds. Note that the venue (bars and clubs) matters more than the time of day. A man approaching women in bars at 3 PM on a Saturday afternoon is running night game even though it is still light outside. This can happen at some patio bars in Sun Belt US states and can even happen indoors at some places.

D. Daygame: This involves approaching strangers at non-bar venues. There are plenty of non-bar venues where this can happen.

Based on what a man wants to do, some venues will be better than others. Some men don't use the right venues for their personalities and their goals. I was one of those men.

I am introverted and I desire longer term interactions. Tech-based and night game are better for shorter interactions. Tech-based can work for some introverts. Day game and social circle are better for longer term interactions and can be advantageous for introverts. Night game is best for extroverts.

Prior to my late 20s, I was a night game person. I went to random college parties seeking pussie and then bars once I turned 21. I also dabbled in dating websites in the 2000s in my 20s. In my late 20s, I transitioned to a primarily daygame guy which is better for my personality type and goals. I still used dating apps (which had replaced websites by my late 20s/early 30s) and then eventually stopped using apps. I stopped using apps because of dead end #7 that @nismo-4 identifies in the post below. Roadblocks 1-6 did happen to me in both the dating website and dating app era.

Why you should call her before you go out with her.

Typically when I get a girls phone number from OLD i get some fun text banter going for a day or two. She will typically send some pics of herself without me asking. If she plays along, I tell her I will call her the next day or so. I always learn so much more about them during our phone...

www.sosuave.net

3. Career achievements and Money: I have long said that Game is a combination of looks, money, status, and personality. Looks are #1 up through 30-35, but money and status become increasingly important in a man 30s and beyond. A 30s/40s man is judged on his money achievements by younger women (10+ years younger) and women close to his own age. Having a solid salary/net worth with help with seduction achievements after 30 as women will start to judge you more on that.

4. Staying in reasonable shape: This is still important after 30. Looks still matter after 30 even with money taking on a more important role. Looks alone can carry a man from 18-29, but after 30 a combination of looks and money will be important.

 

[BadBoy89]

The problem is when a man gets to his 30s, they girl is not a virgin 25 time over and wants James Bond, It’s almost as if the girl has less money and wants a better car.

Don’t believe the men who say “the 30s are best for a man. Girls are throwing themselves at him and he can get laid at will.”

Unless the man is top 5%, 6’1 and really handsome, he has to put much more effort in his 30s than 20s. Much much more,

 

[SW15]

It’s almost as if the girl has less money and wants a better car.

This is a great way of describing the situation. When a woman has less to contribute (less in the way of looks -- her #1 asset), she does not reduce her demands and in many cases she demands more.

Don’t believe the men who say “the 30s are best for a man. Girls are throwing themselves at him and he can get laid at will.”

Unless the man is top 5%, 6’1 and really handsome, he has to put much more effort in his 30s than 20s. Much much more,

Women did not throw themselves at me while I was in my 30s. I had to put into a decent amount of effort. That included starting a "no porn, no fap" routine and continuing to stay in shape. I also didn't achieve large age gaps during my 30s.

This is because I am outside the Top 5-10% and under 6'0" in the United States market.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

You either marry rich or slowly go broke is the way I see it

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Nothing changed. I have no idea why it got easier. Same thing happened with a friend.

My theory:

Women like older men more than younger men, but only if they meet certain criteria. In other words, the top tier men will always around 30-45, even though men in this age group will be less attractive on average. An older man who is tall, fit, not balding, with good skin, not broke, etc, you will be hyper attractive to women of all age groups and more attractive than a 20 year old man with the same qualities. In fact, most women of all age groups straight up assume a man under 25 will be immature, broke, etc; almost all of them describe their ideal man as 30+ because they assume that brings wealth, confidence, maturity, etc. Now in theory a younger man can possess these qualities, but women are so narcissistic that they think any younger man won't be "mature" even though these women are essentially children in adult bodies.

On the flip side, women assume older men who like younger women are "predatory", yet refuse to acknowledge why younger women would seek out older men in the first place.

 

[Solomon]

For the guys in here who got laid more after 30 than before it and feel like they actually hit their stride with women in their 30s while being much worse with them in their 20s, what is your story?

What changed?

What did you feel like you did differently?

Please no incels and depressing posters.

I got laid the most from 24-30 (right around the time I joined the site) main thing that changed is I approached a shtyt ton more and put in way more effort in gaming HOWEVER

In my 30s even though I got laid less I got laid at a higher rate or percentage, why? simple In my 20s I would approach virtually any woman I deemed remotely attractive(some nights approaching 20-70 women a night!) in my 30s this output was not realistic with working more hours, working on a business etc and just not having the energy to do so. Also in my 30s you understand the type of woman you want. I became better at spotting the type of women who liked me or had higher interest. Everyone always mentions if a woman flakes or ghosts the whole Brad Pitt/George Clooney (now in 2024 Drake) cliche. It's not realistic but I remember in February 2023 I had a cute 38-year-old former model drive during a snowstorm I'm talking 17 inches of snow. A drive that would have taken her 30 minutes was nearly an hour and half Just to come see me and have fun. I'm not saying this to brag but in my 20s I would have been the one driving whereas now I can count on one hand the many times have driven 30 minutes plus to see a woman. Let that sink in

Stoppped taking so many drugs

earned more money

stopped trying to game and just was myself - totally against the thought but it’s true for me. Authenticity and DNGAF is better than trying to pretend to be something you’re not.

Yup in my 30s I run something called Auxiliary Game- It's simply me being me. unapologicatally. If a woman doesn't have a sense of humor or doesn't like mine i'm not going to pretend to be someone i'm not in hopes to get laid EFF that. I have so much experience now and frame of reference with women you know what works, you know how to engage shy women, talkative women, loud women, feminist women, sexy women etc. I have said it before the older I get the worse my game is! why? you internalize the shyt that works and throw away a lot of the shyt that doesn't it's all about like you said being authentic, having confidence, maintaining frame and also eliciting emotions and new experiences for women goes a long way. People ask why am I here? sometimes you need to brush up on mindsets, concepts etc every now and then. Just cause Einstein was a genius doesn't mean he sometimes didn't have to brush up on the basics you can't always do something advanced especially if it's something that you do it's a basic mistake I learned this from a former buddy of mine who is psychologist who said that you always to refresh your game every once in awhile cause it's easy to forget certain things that works. The human mind is very lazy and will resort to old or lazy habits. Your mind is actually wired like that to do it the easy way

The problem is when a man gets to his 30s, they girl is not a virgin 25 time over and wants James Bond, It’s almost as if the girl has less money and wants a better car.

Don’t believe the men who say “the 30s are best for a man. Girls are throwing themselves at him and he can get laid at will.”

Unless the man is top 5%, 6’1 and really handsome, he has to put much more effort in his 30s than 20s. Much much more,

Totally agree the hottest women I got was like I mentioned from 24-30 does it mean I don't get hotties now? nope but let's be real in your 20s hotter women are far more abundant. In your 30s+ the hotter chick now is a single mom with 3 kids who use to be the same girl at the club that was an 8 or 9 and now she is a 5 or 6 at best

 

[Smok1nAce]

From 18-21 I was extremely naive (to women) and in turn made me very relaxed and fun to be around. Women would throw themselves at me in college.

From 21-26 I completely shut women out of my life a worked on myself

From 26-29 Everything started to pay off but I was extremely rusty with women

Now at 33 the only difference is I'm working with a full tank. I understand game, life and money. My finances, body and mind are more then alright. Your still very well yourthful (and probably the last decade of being youthful), the only problem is society.

Society hates masculine men, because they cant be controlled. The notion that life is over at 30 is extremely prevalent in todays world. Like at 30 you should start thinking about picking out a grave site. This just lays the picture for what you run into after say...28 years old as a man. Your a rare breed, most people fuk their life up in their 20s, debt, kids, dead end jobs, bad diets, criminal cases, ect. Anyone who can come out of their 20s unscathed is like finding paradise. (you could say not finding a potential partner in your 20s is a strike against you but that's debatable and opinionarted) Your 20s are like being pushed out of a plan for the first time ("the jump off"), trying to open a parachute that you only read a manual for once and finding a good landing. Your early 30s is like seeing who survived. You look back and see what happened as your realize life is finiate and you should enjoy it while it last. The probelm is not many people do survive the inital jump off without dammage.

When it comes to women the society pressure are in full effect. You can easily bag most women in your "league" with proper game but it doesn't fit the frame of society because most people dont survive the inital jump off. There boged down by finical issure an unfufilled marriage or being a single parrent. A single 30 some year old in the midwest is defying all societal norms and if you have you **** together, its like living a movie and your the main star. All this stuff about top 1% is all theroy reality is much different. Like I said when you reach your 30s unscathed and in a good postion your realize how life works. Im in my early 30s and still feel like I did 10 years ago but society (mostly bitter individuals who didnt survive the "jump off") want me to be an old, creep, incel. Its what keeps the wheels turning in America.

All this background sums up to what changed a 30. I became alot more optomstic and my attidude changed. When you have you body, mind and money right, you can live life how you see fit. In my 20s I was to worried about building a future that I wasnt concerned with women. The only problem now is bitter indiviudals who never even put in the work (haterz) and women who would have made great partners but are now bogged down by poor decisions they've mad in their 20s. Women are nice but Invariably meaningless in the grand scheme of things.


In my early 30s the women I meet fall into their respectable categories,

18-24 are either just looking for a good time or are extremly traditional.

25-27 these are the women hardest to game because they are cashing out, they looking for the best possible option, or they are completely dillusional and will fall into the next catagories.

28-31 these women are still looking to "cash out" but are much more humble and are the most sane.

32-35 these women are either exrtemly carrier driven or crazy.

If I want to get married I would think now is the best time only becuase society pressure women into marriage at a young age. So potential partners are getting pressured into marriage before 30 and the odds of marrying younger drasticly decreese with age. Yeah in a perfect world I wouldnt want to get married until at least 40 but what women would want to marry a 40 year old at 27. I guess I could keep leveling up and take a bigger risk. Society is stucuted in that way.

Also the lifesyle of sleeping with women for the purpose of a notch count is well played out by the time your well into your late 20s. At 30 you looking to build with a women. If you want sex, just pay for it, cheeper in every way.

 

[p_1337]

Society hates masculine men, because they cant be controlled.

Yeah in a perfect world I wouldnt want to get married until at least 40 but what women would want to marry a 40 year old at 27. I guess I could keep leveling up and take a bigger risk. Society is structured in that way.

Also the lifestyle of sleeping with women for the purpose of a notch count is well played out by the time your well into your late 20s. At 30 you looking to build with a women. If you want sex, just pay for it, cheaper in every way.

I can agree and strongly relate to a lot of the salient points in this post (especially those I've bolded).

The biggest divergence in my experience: I find game has gotten harder since reaching my 30s. Even though I'm far more successful and established now, it seems like the landscape has changed significantly. When it comes to serious dating: It also appears girls who are into a 8 - 10+ year age gap are rare or have extreme daddy issues. With online dating for instance: you'll often be filtered out by hotties in the 18 - 25 range, if you're a man that's 32 or older.

My difficulties are also likely a product of online game becoming increasingly difficult the last few years (it should likely only be relegated as supplement to meet women for most guys). Online game has been my predominant method for meeting 75%+ of girls I've closed over the past decade-- along with night game (20%) and a small slice during the day time (5%). My personal peak for online bangs was from around 2016 - 2020, but I was also living in a major US city.

In my estimation, in order to continue to really thrive in the dating scene once you hit 30+ (especially when targeting younger women): you need to have a fantastic physique/style -- but more importantly, have a strong set of social connections and be incredibly extroverted. These are areas where I could certainly improve, and would tell any guy in their 20s to start cultivating these assets asap. Being a man that's worldly, successful and has money just isn't enough anymore.

When paying for sex: that's also another sketchy avenue, but I also see it as a useful utility especially when traveling. If I were to do it: high end escorts / 18 - 22 year old hotties would be my only choice. Not looking to contract STDs and cough up dough for a mediocre to low-end prostitute.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Theres a lot of mass assumptions made in this thread and I can't say I am particularly impressed by any of them

Yea look height / status / money / power of course all these things help

BUT and this is a big fvcking BUT

We know full well women will act according to how they FEEL you can make her FEEL things without any of the physical things mentioned above

True Masculinity / confidence sprinkled with a little humour are all you REALLY need to get into bed with women

they are far far too irrational to be heavily swayed by the above

 

[SW15]

I find game has gotten harder since reaching my 30s. Even though I'm far more successful and established now, it seems like the landscape has changed significantly. When it comes to serious dating: It also appears girls who are into a 8 - 10+ year age gap are rare or have extreme daddy issues.

Game hasn't gotten any easier for me since turning 30.

Getting big age gaps after turning 30 isn't easy to do. Most men end up settling for a woman close to their own age because of the degree of difficulty in getting 8-10+ year age gaps.

With online dating for instance: you'll often be filtered out by hotties in the 18 - 25 range, if you're a man that's 32 or older.

Women have such abundance from tech-based methods. Even a 38 year old woman on a dating app has many 38-41 year old options. The dating apps help women reduce age gaps due to extreme levels of male thirst.

My difficulties are also likely a product of online game becoming increasingly difficult the last few years (it should likely only be relegated as supplement to meet women for most guys). Online game has been my predominant method for meeting 75%+ of girls I've closed over the past decade-- along with night game (20%) and a small slice during the day time (5%). My personal peak for online bangs was from around 2016 - 2020, but I was also living in a major US city.

I have evolved my venues for meeting women over time. In the 2000s when I was in my late teens-20s, I was primarily a nightgame and dating website focused man (this was pre-app era). I eventually evolved into more of a daygame focused man but did have some unimpressive experiences with swipe apps.

Starting with Tinder's launch in 2012, tech-based game (swipe apps + social media DMs) have taken away socialization from daygame, nightgame, and social circle game. It's impacted nightgame and social circle game more than daygame. Daygame has always been a bit of a niche activity.

Tech-based game can work in major US cities due to immense population. They work for the top tier, 'Chad' men not due to population, but some men outside of the 'Chad' tier can get some sex due to immense population. It will be very inefficient when it is effective but sex can happen.

In my estimation, in order to continue to really thrive in the dating scene once you hit 30+ (especially when targeting younger women): you need to have a fantastic physique/style -- but more importantly, have a strong set of social connections and be incredibly extroverted. These are areas where I could certainly improve, and would tell any guy in their 20s to start cultivating these assets asap. Being a man that's worldly, successful and has money just isn't enough anymore.

Social connections and extroversion will make things easier. Agree on fantastic physique/style.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Being in better shape, better looking, more personable and more seasoned than the guys their own age.

 

[p_1337]

Being in better shape, better looking, more personable and more seasoned than the guys their own age.

Theres a lot of mass assumptions made in this thread and I can't say I am particularly impressed by any of them

Yea look height / status / money / power of course all these things help

We know full well women will act according to how they FEEL you can make her FEEL things without any of the physical things mentioned above

True Masculinity / confidence sprinkled with a little humour are all you REALLY need to get into bed with women

they are far far too irrational to be heavily swayed by the above

I've hit on a lot of girls over the past decade: and no amount of demonstrated "masculinity", confidence, humor, or personality that I demonstrated mattered if they weren't already attracted (and yes, since really getting into "game" and making dating a regular part of my life about 10 years ago -- I've worked hard to cultivate and grow all of these aforementioned qualities). It's also worth repeating that most of my targets have been entirely removed from social circle (where you have more time to develop a reputation and attraction with women in the periphery), as my focus has been girls at bars/night venues + online game (likely the hardest avenues to meet girls -- as you aren't able to leverage any type of preselection).

Without the aid of an objective observer or someone who really does well with chicks to actively give me feedback -- I feel I fall into an awkward middle ground / place of "game purgatory", where the following dynamic seems to hold true:

- I'm out of the league of average girls. Thus- they will often reject themselves, or will sleep with me only if we meet at the right time (they're horny, fresh out of a breakup, I'm their 'type', etc.). These will often fizzle out after a ONS (most of the since turning 30) or turn into a casual plate situation that dies due to me not being very invested.

- The higher end girls (i.e. stereotypically "hotter" + often in the yolo 18 - 25 range) aren't that interested: as I'm not the archetypal chad, insanely wealthy or have any kind of celebrity status/social media clout.