Got hit on and got a number from a sexy 25 year old at the water park today. Why? Because I am in shape.

[BackInTheGame78]

Damn, bro. I dont think we can figure this one out for you.

Some people are gonna say go for it. Some are gonna say its not gonna work out due to age difference, better save yourself the trouble and just spin plates for life.

What is your gut telling you?

I'm leaning towards staying more reserved with her for a bit longer to see how things go I think...but not super strongly. Like maybe a 55/45 type thing.

I have a few friends that have been with their girlfriends for over 3 years now and are basically in very solid relationships and they both went for it early on and it worked out.

More an age difference thing in my mind I guess than anything. I definitely won't be saying I love her tho anytime soon...maybe it can be a Xmas present to her haha

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That’s long enough man. Give it a shot. Being exclusive is not the same as living together or being married. It’s honestly not even a big deal. If you really do like the girl don’t play these stupid games. If she turns out to be batshvt in a few more months you can just dump her.

Don’t listen to the spin plates until you die chorus. There should be a final goal somewhere. What do you want out of all of this?

I guess it's just more due to there being a 20+ year age gap between us more than anything...

Maybe I am making a bigger deal out of than I need to be. Just have never really been in a relationship with someone that much younger than me before.

She is definitely pretty mature from her age tho. She is very financially savvy and knows all the rules about contributing to savings/401Ks and has a good job at a solid company. Has saved more than 25K already in savings and her 401K is approaching 100K already. Been saving money since she was 16, her Dad is an investment banker and has schooled her on everything in that regard.

She told me she is tired of dating dudes her age that are wanna be frat boys that have no clue what they want in life or how to achieve it.

Doesn't really love a party lifestyle, seems pretty down to earth and normal.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I guess it's just more due to there being a 20+ year age gap between us more than anything...

Maybe I am making a bigger deal out of than I need to be. Just have never really been in a relationship with someone that much younger than me before.

She is definitely pretty mature from her age tho. She is very financially savvy and knows all the rules about contributing to savings/401Ks and has a good job at a solid company. Has saved more than 25K already in savings and her 401K is approaching 100K already. Been saving money since she was 16, her Dad is an investment banker and has schooled her on everything in that regard.

You’re overthinking. This all sounds good to me. You aren’t signing any papers. If she acts up down the line you can just dump her.

You have a hot 25 year old girl that loves you and wants to be with you. She seems sane so far. What is the problem?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Has anyone been in this situation before in terms of huge age difference relationships?

Yes, and she too was easily the prettiest sexiest girl ever. She ended up talking about us getting married. I started really to develop feelings for her and for a short period I started believe we could work.

Then I realized that she wanted babies and soon and had her whole life planned out in her head. It was endearing, but I finally woke up out of my dream and started impressing upon her that our age gap was too big. That I’d be 80 when she hit 50. Started building hypotheticals that were ugly for her.

In the end we parted ways it took about a year. I didn’t want her to miss out on having someone to grow old with and having a full life. It was very hard for me to wean her off the idea. We would borderline argue about it. But I just couldn’t see things working out in the long run.

Still miss the beauty, passion and tight tight tight body.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Make her proof herself more. three months is the bare minimum, batsh!t crazy women can hold the mask of sanity for 5-6 months.

This is deranged game playing behavior.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You’re overthinking. This all sounds good to me. You aren’t signing any papers. If she acts up down the line you can just dump her.

You have a hot 25 year old girl that loves you and wants to be with you. She seems sane so far. What is the problem?

Hmm...maybe you are right. I guess I tend to analyze stuff too deeply at times.

 

[pipeman84]

Yes, and she too was easily the prettiest sexiest girl ever. She ended up talking about us getting married. I started really to develop feelings for her and for a short period I started believe we could work.

Then I realized that she wanted babies and soon and had her whole life planned out in her head. It was endearing, but I finally woke up out of my dream and started impressing upon her that our age gap was too big. That I’d be 80 when she hit 50. Started building hypotheticals that were ugly for her.

In the end we parted ways it took about a year. I didn’t want her to miss out on having someone to grow old with and having a full life. It was very hard for me to wean her off the idea. We would borderline argue about it. But I just couldn’t see things working out in the long run.

Still miss the beauty, passion and tight tight tight body.

We'll never know if you really broke up with her out of concern for what she'll do with you when she'd be 50 and you 80 or if that is a story you tell yourself and in reality maybe on a subconscious level you felt there was some red flags.

The stories about what will happen in 3 decades if one enters an age gap relationship are what women who are not actually in love or harridans tell. In actuality, it doesn't take much logic to realise that we're all individuals and there are no guarantees in life ... yeah, statistically there's an increased risk of death/illness for the older individual the larger the age gap is, but that doesn't tell you anything about how your life will unfold.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I know, that's why it takes 5-6 months to weed out the narcissists.

Sure, that can be true. What upside does he get though for stringing this girl along an extra three months? We have dozens of “plate went cold” / “plate ghosted me” threads here. Sounds like he likes this girl. Please identify the problem. (There might be a future problem isn’t a problem)

 

[EyeBRollin]

She has a couple of flags. One of them is her love-bombing.

Could be she's just the impulsively effusive type, but more likely a narcissistic love-bombing.

Putting the brakes on might frustrate her, but if it does she's the 'instant gratification' type of girl, who tends to be chase satisfaction but never reaches her goal.

There's no harm in delaying the commitment three more months, there's plenty of reasons not to move too fast.

“She likes him too much. Could be a problem!”

Insanity.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Choosing to believe it or not is your own decision no skin off my arse brother. I can’t imagine why I would embellish or fabricate the story to begin with. What benefit does it provide me?

It would necessitate me being the type of person who has to question everything that is outside my sphere of experience in order to be able to live with myself, “because like me everyone must be out to screw me over or get one over on me.”

I’d rather just remember the good times…

We'll never know if you really broke up with her out of concern for what she'll do with you when she'd be 50 and you 80 or if that is a story you tell yourself and in reality maybe on a subconscious level you felt there was some red flags.

The stories about what will happen in 3 decades if one enters an age gap relationship are what women who are not actually in love or harridans tell. In actuality, it doesn't take much logic to realise that we're all individuals and there are no guarantees in life ... yeah, statistically there's an increased risk of death/illness for the older individual the larger the age gap is, but that doesn't tell you anything about how your life will unfold.

 

[Divorced w 3]

OP this is awesome. It sounds like you guys really vibe. You’re a father are you not? How does she like kids? If you feel you’ve left it all on the field so to speak, no regrets and all that? I would say it’s clear in your writing that you like her a lot. I think this could be something good for you.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Did I just read through six pages of smut without seeing a single body pic of @BackInTheGame78 ?

What am I doing with my life...

Fuuck the age gap, if you're attracted to her personality and want to pop some babies out of her go for it.

To avoid disenchantment you'll have to sacrifice. If you know exactly what you want then they won't feel like sacrifices at all.

 

[Stephen89]

This is true, it happened to me as I was dressed well at a train station a women was eye balling me, I work out

Guys should get it the best shape possible, it makes so much difference

Are you 45? Your username ends with 79

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Are you guys asking for pics of other men’s bodies gay? Creepy af.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Relax, just boys doing a d!ck measuring contest.

Yeah bro you might be higher than dead zero on the Kinsey Scale. I’m not.

p.s. my resting heart rate is 48 I’m pretty relaxed…unlike those boys with polycythemia, nascent sleep apnea, atrial fibrillation, left ventricular hypertrophy and hypertension secondary to exogenous androgen use.

 

[MtmVaott]

My assumption is she didn't screen. It's like when you're infatuated with a girl right from the start and walk after her love-drooling.
She'll start to do that when the honeymoon phase is over - and if you two fit character-wise, it'll work despite age gap. So just normal course, only gender-roles are reversed.
I once met a man age ~50, met girl 25, had strong doubts because of age gap as well. Don't know what happened to him. had the impression he was worried what others might think. Dunno if that's exactly what you go through now.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Are you guys asking for pics of other men’s bodies gay? Creepy af.

I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to compliment another man on his physique or good looks. I feel like @BackInTheGame78 may have mentioned at some point why he doesn't post pics. I'm mostly teasing him for posting these hot takes without following an ancient internet rule; pics or it didn't happen.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

My assumption is she didn't screen. It's like when you're infatuated with a girl right from the start and walk after her love-drooling.
She'll start to do that when the honeymoon phase is over - and if you two fit character-wise, it'll work despite age gap. So just normal course, only gender-roles are reversed.
I once met a man age ~50, met girl 25, had strong doubts because of age gap as well. Don't know what happened to him. had the impression he was worried what others might think. Dunno if that's exactly what you go through now.

Actually it was kinda the opposite of this. She may have initially liked the way I looked but she quickly found out I was the opposite of the guys she typically dated that were her age and had much more of what she was looking for than they had...

Namely I actually had my life together in terms of career, finances, living situation, car, etc. Plus the ability to have actual conversations on a wide variety of topics with people. Underrated skill to have...there are a lot of women who find that attractive and she is one of them.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Namely I actually had my life together in terms of career, finances, living situation, car, etc. Plus the ability to have actual conversations on a wife variety of topics with people.

Freudian slip?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Freudian slip?

Haha, more like fat finger slip. Definitely way way too early to get into even considering that about this one.