Originally posted by Wyldfire
Yes, women do want a nice guy...but a woman's definition of a nice guy...NOT a guy's definition of a nice guy. Men and women define "nice guy" in a completely different way.
To women, a nice guy is exactly that...a guy who is a nice person.
To men, a nice guy is a desperate, clingy guy who only ACTS nice because he thinks it will get him into the girl's pants and heart. He pretends to be a friend when all along he wants more. He does favors with expectations that it will make the woman fall in love with him.
The difference between a woman's "nice guy" ad a man's "nice guy" is that the woman's definition is of a genuinely nice person who has no alterior motives by being nice. He's just nice because he likes being nice and that alone makes him feel good inside. His motives are pure. A guy's "nice guy" is really a fraud...he's not really very nice at all because he is scheming, lying and pretending to be someone he's not, like things he doesn't and everything he does and says is riddled with unspoken expectations. When those expectations aren't met he resents people over it...even though he never says he is expecting anything.
I'm a woman who likes the female definition of a "nice guy". I can't stand the male definition of a "nice guy"...they are dishonest and phony.
Hope that helps clear it up for you.
You won't find just a "nice" man without motives. The "nice" jerk is the closest that you'll get.
There is no major difference in a females "nice guy" and a mans version of a "nice guy." The only thing is, a females version of a nice guy is more complicated than a males version. A males nice guy is "nice"...but does the wrong stuff...a females "nice" is nice aswell and still doesn't seem to do it...they both end the same.....Now, unless you live inside your subconcious can you prove that a females nice guy is much different than a males, when it comes to attraction....it's a nice jerk that wins a woman's heart.
I walk up to you, and I act "nice," without motives of sex, like you said, would you feel attraction? probably not! why? because it's too "easy"......why? because I'm nice, I'd do anything without saying no, just because I'm nice and can do anything without wanting.......I don't or shouldn't expect sex or anything?...for you to have those expectation of a man is selfish......and that's why most of us guys have changed our approach..... Now, when the nice guy starts to say "no" to women's requests, it's challenging to women. Now, a female nice guy, you said, "does things without motives," how can you prove the motives of someone else? Without a motive, there lacks assertiveness....which assertiveness in a man is attractive to women (fact)......not very many "female version" nice guys are assertive.....they just seem to go with the flow....just as a "male version" nice guy would. A nice guy for both "male and female versions" will not be willing to ever say anything "****y and funny or mean" to a woman.....to be mean is a "jerk" trait. Also, to say "no" shows self control is a trait that's in the middle of "nice and jerk."
When men are nice....they expect something.....Just like when women are nice, they usually expect something.....there are motives behind everything we do....whether it's waking up early in the morning to go to the store or to get our car detailed...there is a motive behind it....
And the fact that women can be complicated, they aren't often direct when they say "nice" guy....
Nice guy=confident, nice, honest, challenging, self controlled, funny, mysterious, independent...and the list goes on.....
Challenging is more so a "jerk" trait, confident can be either or...but says more towards a "jerk" than a "nice guy" because many nice guys just do nice things because for whatever reason...and they just believe in being nice hard to say no.....which leads to self control.....self control is more of a "jerk" trait but can go both....having the ability to say no WITHOUT feeling guilty for not being nicer....being funny is 50-50.....****y and funny is arrogant humor...which can be done nicely or in a jerk manner....depends on how much of ****y and how much of funny...try to aim between the middle of the two. Nice guys can be indepent just as much as a jerk.....but as far as mystery.....nice guys usually tend to lack it because they become a womans companion too quickly....nice guys just wants to be kind (male version or female) and they just want to be there....usually not giving much space.....and that turns women off because it show's neediness...honesty is a nice guy thing....which is good for all DJ's to have....the jerk tends to lie alot..which is bad....
So, basically...a nice guy is a nice guy (male version or female)...because they have motives (whatever they are)....just like a nice guy, a nice girl has motives to be nice to people....in hopes of peoples good will back on them...and it rarely happens.
Women want a Nice Jerk...not a nice guy.
