Girls should be coming to you...not the other way around.
- Thread starter Tha Realnezz
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No you guys, he's right.
Women may not approach men all the time, but they sure as hell do something when they like a guy. When you walk into a room, and you think you can stare at a girl without her noticing - well she saw you walk in the room and, guess what, she didn't care. She's completely uninterested. Now you go approach her. Great, she already knew you were there and didn't care now you're talking to her and she wants to get rid of you. You'd better have some spectacular game.
A girl who likes you will place herself in your proximity, she will be caught looking at you, and she might even say something to you if she wants you to notice her. That's right - not every girl in the world is going to wait for you to open your mouth.
You want examples? Yesterday, in the computer lab at school, I'm emailing my friend and jamming out with some headphones. A cute girl sits one computer away from me, but I don't hear her or really notice her. Next thing I know, I feel a tap on my shoulder and I look over, she's asking how to log in. I show her, she says thanks, and I resume my email. She gets my attention again, and asks me about printing. I notice she doesn't print anything, so then I strike up a conversation. Next thing I know, we're trading numbers.
She sat near me. She got my attention. She asked me questions. In short, she made me notice her, and then it was my job to make the conversation interesting and get to know her.
So you see a girl who is interested in you will make it easy for you, even if she wont do all the work.
Cold approaches are fun, but they don't often materialize into anything unless you are approaching a girl who was or would have already been interested. It's the way it works.
DJ_in_making
Master Don Juan
No, no a million times no...
I agree w/ some of your post and think you're on the right track, but the overall message is wrong.
First, you say to change your look. There isn't much you could do about that, you can work-out and highlight your attributes, that's about it.
But it does not... wait let me bold this... DOES NOT mean you are unattractive if girls don't approach you. They don't approach b/c it isn't their job, period. If you look super-hot. I mean celebrity hot, then they just might approach.
If you are claiming you get approached by HB's all the time, you must have God-given beauty. Girls tell me I'm cute, I have a high hotornot rating, and girls approach me online. But they very rarely do in person.
There are many times I approached a girl who showed absolutely NO interest in me and she ended up liking me all along.
If looks were that important, I wouldn't be cringing every day when I see a super-hot girl with some ridiculously ugly guy.
I agree w/ the part about them not being to bright however.
I agree w/ some of your post and think you're on the right track, but the overall message is wrong.
First, you say to change your look. There isn't much you could do about that, you can work-out and highlight your attributes, that's about it.
But it does not... wait let me bold this... DOES NOT mean you are unattractive if girls don't approach you. They don't approach b/c it isn't their job, period. If you look super-hot. I mean celebrity hot, then they just might approach.
If you are claiming you get approached by HB's all the time, you must have God-given beauty. Girls tell me I'm cute, I have a high hotornot rating, and girls approach me online. But they very rarely do in person.
There are many times I approached a girl who showed absolutely NO interest in me and she ended up liking me all along.
If looks were that important, I wouldn't be cringing every day when I see a super-hot girl with some ridiculously ugly guy.
I agree w/ the part about them not being to bright however.
coolguy676767
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Yeah, I posted a bit earlier about my friend who is really good looking in great shape with good style but not the best at talking to girls.
He has so many chicks that would have sex with him with hardly knowing him, yet they never approach him. Like this girl just moved away, she was totally sociable and outgoing, I mean if any girl would approach she would and she moved away and now he found out through a friend that she would have had sex with him at the drop of a hat. In fact he got her e-mail and she said as soon as she comes back they are going to hook up.
This is how it goes, some girls with experience and a lot of confidence will make it easy for you to approach them.(get in your proximity, hold long long eye contact, smile say hi, ect.) Other girls just sit and hope, and if you do say something to them, they open up super quick. However I think more girls fit in the category of open up quickly if they talk to you, but I never see any girls go up and approach me or any guy no matter how good looking he is.
He has so many chicks that would have sex with him with hardly knowing him, yet they never approach him. Like this girl just moved away, she was totally sociable and outgoing, I mean if any girl would approach she would and she moved away and now he found out through a friend that she would have had sex with him at the drop of a hat. In fact he got her e-mail and she said as soon as she comes back they are going to hook up.
This is how it goes, some girls with experience and a lot of confidence will make it easy for you to approach them.(get in your proximity, hold long long eye contact, smile say hi, ect.) Other girls just sit and hope, and if you do say something to them, they open up super quick. However I think more girls fit in the category of open up quickly if they talk to you, but I never see any girls go up and approach me or any guy no matter how good looking he is.
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
Well put Cool - that seems to be how it is mostly. There were girls who'd never approach and then come to find out all i had to do was say something and they would be on their back .lol. It's frustrating because i am a counter type person - meaning that i need feedback before i act. If they're all coy - then i do not get the hint.
Also, the more experienced ones do get you to notice but then are really reserved when talking to you (hoping they don't say something wrong). This is frustrating because as a good and humerous conversationist you'd think they would open up (even asking questions about themselves). It's like they're interviewing for a job they really want or something and don't want to mess it up. Again, not the feedback i want.
Also, the more experienced ones do get you to notice but then are really reserved when talking to you (hoping they don't say something wrong). This is frustrating because as a good and humerous conversationist you'd think they would open up (even asking questions about themselves). It's like they're interviewing for a job they really want or something and don't want to mess it up. Again, not the feedback i want.
coolguy676767
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Thx, and yes this is exactly what I have encountered. If a girl gives me any sign what-so-ever I can be totally relaxed and go talk to her and strike up a conversation, but it becomes more diffucult when their all coy, but I try to approach them to becuase there really isnt anything to lose except 2-5 minutes of your time.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
You know... its a tough truth but yes, girls go for the hot/cute guys all the time and if shes interested you will know. Wearing nice clothes and being in shape will take you a long way in the looks department. I myself am tall, in shape and many girls have told me im really hot or cute. One thing is for sure though, If girls dont approach a good looking guy, its not because shes unattracted... its because shes intimidated. Intimidated by what?... Of you not liking her or having a girlfriend and making a fool of herself. How i know? because for every girl i thought that wasnt attracted to me, I later found out they wanted me,.... wanted me bad too but i always herd the same ol thing " I didnt think you would like me ". My current Girlfriend wasnt going to talk to me at all in the first place... Why? because " i didnt think you would like me " comment came out. My girls hot and it goes to show that even hot girls wont talk/approach if they feel they will get rejected or unworthy. Bottom line.. Being hot/cute will get you attention but it also works against you, Girls will ASSUME your a player, jerk or too good looking for them.
Silverback82
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Even though I was over bulked I used to get signs from high quality girls all the time. Smiles, strong eye contact, initiating conversations. I lost some of the excess weight and now look leaner and more muscular. My face also looks better after losing the excess weight. Overall I look better yet these days I get nothing more than simple eye contact. No more smiles from girls and they never inititate anything with me. 
I thought things would get even easier but now I have to do all the work.
explain that one to me
I thought things would get even easier but now I have to do all the work.
explain that one to me
Quite a controversial post I guess, but I agree with it for the most part. I've spent time with so many women who laugh and b1tch about guys who look bad and get all flustered over guys who are hot (me above all, of course ).
As DJBR pointed out, it's a misconception to think that your looks are entirely genetic. There is so much you can do to improve or harm your potential. Hitting the gym, living healthy and getting a nice wardrobe together are just some of the simple things you can do that will make a massive difference.
I'm not saying women are only attracted to looks, but behind a guys shape, image and appearance there are a lot of psychological factors involved - i.e. does he take care of himself, is he strong, fit, proud, popular and so on?
And yes, I entirely agree that girls should be coming on to you, and this is the peak of success at this board, which I'm pleased to say I have achieved along with many others.
That said, you do need to work on character and confidence in order to pursue anything with women. You need to know the basics, like how to flirt, hold conversations, date, kiss, fvck and be prepared for the psychological games women play.
Generally, the key is working on your value as a person, becoming "the prize" that women want to win. When you get to this spot, you will have full confidence and can handle women's games and the like with ease.
).As DJBR pointed out, it's a misconception to think that your looks are entirely genetic. There is so much you can do to improve or harm your potential. Hitting the gym, living healthy and getting a nice wardrobe together are just some of the simple things you can do that will make a massive difference.
I'm not saying women are only attracted to looks, but behind a guys shape, image and appearance there are a lot of psychological factors involved - i.e. does he take care of himself, is he strong, fit, proud, popular and so on?
And yes, I entirely agree that girls should be coming on to you, and this is the peak of success at this board, which I'm pleased to say I have achieved along with many others.
That said, you do need to work on character and confidence in order to pursue anything with women. You need to know the basics, like how to flirt, hold conversations, date, kiss, fvck and be prepared for the psychological games women play.
Generally, the key is working on your value as a person, becoming "the prize" that women want to win. When you get to this spot, you will have full confidence and can handle women's games and the like with ease.
DJ_in_making
Master Don Juan
Okay.....
How many of you guys who say girls approach hot guys actually get approached all the time?
By random girls? I'm not saying they don't approach ever, I'm just saying they're usually waiting for guys to come up to them.'
Read coolguy's example. That's the way it is.
How many of you guys who say girls approach hot guys actually get approached all the time?
By random girls? I'm not saying they don't approach ever, I'm just saying they're usually waiting for guys to come up to them.'
Read coolguy's example. That's the way it is.
DJ_in_making
Master Don Juan
coolguy676767
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Yeah DJ in the Making, I read that too from the other post. Even if you are getting approached for all of you who say that you are. Do you realize you could have 3 times as many girls or more if you approached. I mean if you are that good looking enough to get approached then you are good looking enough to get many more than that.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
So is this just a reason to avoid cold appoaches?
raspliffarian
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why would hot chicks ever approach?
they have guys throwing themselves at them all the time...
the trick is to approach but in a way that sets yourself apart from the rest of them
they have guys throwing themselves at them all the time...
the trick is to approach but in a way that sets yourself apart from the rest of them
Everybody here is so obssessed with having 'balls' that anything that isn't just recklessly courageous they write-off as an excuse not to cold approach.
You want balls? Why don't you sneak up behind women and declare your interest in a startlingly loud and deep voice. No? What's a matter? Don't have the balls to do a REAL approach.
Yeah I know it's ridiculous, hopefully you see my point. There are 101 ways to meet a girl, and cold approaching is very definitely not the most effective way. It has appeal in that it depends on very few factors, just that you are willing to approach. So let's get passed the whole 'balls' issue. I've approached more women than most guys in this world, and I still approach regularly - but that's still not where I'm meeting most of the girls that I end up liking.
You see I tend to meet the serendipitously - in other words, we happen to be at the same place at the same time and through mutual initial attraction we start talking. Maybe the case is that I say the first hello, or whatever, but she definitely made an effort not to pretend like I don't exist (which also happens). Often times just being able to set a social mood makes all the difference, like on the bus I'll joke with the driver and some of the girls will get interested in the conversation and pipe in, then we're talking and it feels so natural, so much more natural than walking up to some girl on the street. I model most of my interactions after what will seem most natural because those are what will garner you interest more than anything. It's actually pretty easy to pick up a girl who's standing at the crosswalk with you - in fact it's harder not to say something because if you don't then that's just akward. Other times I'm at a party, and I'll even just start talking to a guy in the group and we hit it off, the whole group is listening to me tell him whatever i'm saying, and by the time I decide to look at the other people in the group one of the girls has already been waiting for me to notice her and out shoots her hand for an introduction.
The point is that you should be getting at least some signs of interest from at least some girls even before you talked to them, and if you seem friendly and approachable you'll likely hear from them.
You want balls? Why don't you sneak up behind women and declare your interest in a startlingly loud and deep voice. No? What's a matter? Don't have the balls to do a REAL approach.
Yeah I know it's ridiculous, hopefully you see my point. There are 101 ways to meet a girl, and cold approaching is very definitely not the most effective way. It has appeal in that it depends on very few factors, just that you are willing to approach. So let's get passed the whole 'balls' issue. I've approached more women than most guys in this world, and I still approach regularly - but that's still not where I'm meeting most of the girls that I end up liking.
You see I tend to meet the serendipitously - in other words, we happen to be at the same place at the same time and through mutual initial attraction we start talking. Maybe the case is that I say the first hello, or whatever, but she definitely made an effort not to pretend like I don't exist (which also happens). Often times just being able to set a social mood makes all the difference, like on the bus I'll joke with the driver and some of the girls will get interested in the conversation and pipe in, then we're talking and it feels so natural, so much more natural than walking up to some girl on the street. I model most of my interactions after what will seem most natural because those are what will garner you interest more than anything. It's actually pretty easy to pick up a girl who's standing at the crosswalk with you - in fact it's harder not to say something because if you don't then that's just akward. Other times I'm at a party, and I'll even just start talking to a guy in the group and we hit it off, the whole group is listening to me tell him whatever i'm saying, and by the time I decide to look at the other people in the group one of the girls has already been waiting for me to notice her and out shoots her hand for an introduction.
The point is that you should be getting at least some signs of interest from at least some girls even before you talked to them, and if you seem friendly and approachable you'll likely hear from them.
Damn he aint talking about girls literally approaching you and asking for your number. Just girls who approach you in a sly way. If you look good, girls will then do that. Theres outgoing girls like this all around, who do this sh1t.
Like an example. Im walking and see a guy i know (hes with this HB9), shake hands with him and as im walking, shes like 'arent u going to shake my hand'. Shaked hands. Then next day in a lecture she asks me what i got in the last exam. **** like that.
If you look good, the chances of girls approaching you like this improve. Then dont you think things will be easy from then? Instead of working on a girl and trying to build attraction.. you already got a girl attracted to you straight off.
And you can do anything to improve your looks. Sort out every aspect of your look and you will see a difference. Unless you arent hideously looking and get a style going with you, youre ready to go. Looks are number 1 priority. Then you start working from there.
Like an example. Im walking and see a guy i know (hes with this HB9), shake hands with him and as im walking, shes like 'arent u going to shake my hand'. Shaked hands. Then next day in a lecture she asks me what i got in the last exam. **** like that.
If you look good, the chances of girls approaching you like this improve. Then dont you think things will be easy from then? Instead of working on a girl and trying to build attraction.. you already got a girl attracted to you straight off.
And you can do anything to improve your looks. Sort out every aspect of your look and you will see a difference. Unless you arent hideously looking and get a style going with you, youre ready to go. Looks are number 1 priority. Then you start working from there.
i've often been turned down for better looking guys, so unfortunatley there is a lot of truth to that, you have to take care of yourself and look the best that you can be in all situations, it's possible for most guys to look like a 7 for instance if they take care of themselves, to get from a 7 to an 8, 9 or 10 is hard work but its very easy to go from 7 to 5, 4, 3, 2 or 1 very very easily
everyone wants to be with someone who is hotter than they are even a hb7 is after a 9 or 10, because girls can always offer up sex as their trump card
the more you've got going for you the better: looks, confidence, sense of humor and it helps to be rich, a celebrity or a prince too but we can only work with what we've got
if you have your game together you should be trying to emulate these things anyways through peacock theory, using social proof / pivots and conveying scarcity, etc
it's not that one is better than the other, it's all good, if your going into a fight do you want to be the one with the machine gun or the one with the machine gun, and a few grenades, and some hand to hand combat skills, and a knife, and maybe a tank or helicopter for back up?
everyone wants to be with someone who is hotter than they are even a hb7 is after a 9 or 10, because girls can always offer up sex as their trump card
the more you've got going for you the better: looks, confidence, sense of humor and it helps to be rich, a celebrity or a prince too but we can only work with what we've got
if you have your game together you should be trying to emulate these things anyways through peacock theory, using social proof / pivots and conveying scarcity, etc
it's not that one is better than the other, it's all good, if your going into a fight do you want to be the one with the machine gun or the one with the machine gun, and a few grenades, and some hand to hand combat skills, and a knife, and maybe a tank or helicopter for back up?
coolguy676767
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I believe I wrote basically exactly what msg said in one of my posts in here.
I am not saying he stole it from me, I am just saying he is right becuase we basically are saying the same thing. Try to maximize your potential in every area.
I am not saying he stole it from me, I am just saying he is right becuase we basically are saying the same thing. Try to maximize your potential in every area.
Saying that you should be looking your best and living to your full potential is the most obvious revelation anybody around here ever arrives at. It's pretty much the same as saying that you should start road trips with a full tank of gas and a clean car - it really should be common sense.
I don't know how it happened that your parents didn't teach you the basic concept of daily hygeine when you were a boy, or why anybody would want to wear clothes that don't look good on them and have messy greasy hair, stains and bad smells comin from they're bodies. Like I said, it's common sense and what you call 'living to your full potential' in reality is just discovering what any competent competition you may encounter already knows - if you want girls and friends, don't be a lazy slob. Simple enough.
So if you're going to be at a website then you might as well go beyond that, yeah get your life together so that you're finally an average successful guy and I think you'll see that there are plenty of guys out there who not only know how to look good, have decent jobs and take care of themselves physically they also are friendly and know how to carry on a competition. This is the BASE LEVEL for anybody who wants to be successful with women.
The point is that women are just as happy to talk to a guy they find attractive as you are to them, so don't be delusional and think that the only way to get a girl is to cold approach her and do some magic trick that makes her fall for you. That's not to say that there isn't a lot to learn in terms of social interactions that will improve your success, but there's really no point to any of it if you fail to get the fundamental things down from the get-go.
I don't know how it happened that your parents didn't teach you the basic concept of daily hygeine when you were a boy, or why anybody would want to wear clothes that don't look good on them and have messy greasy hair, stains and bad smells comin from they're bodies. Like I said, it's common sense and what you call 'living to your full potential' in reality is just discovering what any competent competition you may encounter already knows - if you want girls and friends, don't be a lazy slob. Simple enough.
So if you're going to be at a website then you might as well go beyond that, yeah get your life together so that you're finally an average successful guy and I think you'll see that there are plenty of guys out there who not only know how to look good, have decent jobs and take care of themselves physically they also are friendly and know how to carry on a competition. This is the BASE LEVEL for anybody who wants to be successful with women.
The point is that women are just as happy to talk to a guy they find attractive as you are to them, so don't be delusional and think that the only way to get a girl is to cold approach her and do some magic trick that makes her fall for you. That's not to say that there isn't a lot to learn in terms of social interactions that will improve your success, but there's really no point to any of it if you fail to get the fundamental things down from the get-go.
knglerxt
Senior Don Juan
I've been told by many people that I'm a good looking guy, but I don't get girls making any comments to me. I get looks from girls a lot, but they don't try to talk to me or anything. There can't be much wrong with your physical appearance if you regularly get looks from girls.
My problem is doing anything about it. I'm 24, and I've never had a gf.