Girlfriend going cold

[Glassguy]

I don't call her much.

Doesnt matter if you do or you dont. You are at her beckon call when she wants you there. Why would she care if you called or not?

She gets what she wants from you and you are not getting what you want from her. If you were, you would not have came on here and started a thread about it.

Ditch her. Maybe she will change her tune when you do, maybe she wont.

You seriously dont want to be with her like this........do you?

 

[Building_and_Loan]

New passcode on the phone means something is definitely up. Either she's texting other guys/orbiters or hitting up online dating apps.

I've been there with a girl myself. She's looking for someone else.

She'd be a whole lot more interested in you if a hotter girl than her is showing you attention all of a sudden, anything less than that it's probably over.

 

[SuckItUp]

Well I only just saw the latest update from OP, and I agree now.. something's up. However my previous point still stands, as I was referring to OP's original post only.

Mine does as well. Based solely on the original post, one could surmise that things had changed. This gets back to men being the gatekeepers of relationships.

Once a man feels a feeling of deception, betrayal, etc. in a relationship it typically means they've caught onto the subtle signs the woman has been tipping in terms of her intent.

Once a woman's interest starts to wane she starts tipping the guy that the interest is waning eventually to the point that she'll tip off her branch swinging and or that she's no longer on board with the relationship.

 

[SteR]

Mine does as well. Based solely on the original post, one could surmise that things had changed. This gets back to men being the gatekeepers of relationships.

Once a man feels a feeling of deception, betrayal, etc. in a relationship it typically means they've caught onto the subtle signs the woman has been tipping in terms of her intent.

Once a woman's interest starts to wane she starts tipping the guy that the interest is waning eventually to the point that she'll tip off her branch swinging and or that she's no longer on board with the relationship.

Yea I can agree to that. I mean the fact that OP even made this thread means his gut had alerted him to something being off..

 

[jthomp]

You're being too needy, calling too much and to her you're appearing like a desperado. Add to the fact that she's found someone else and her interest level is in the "see ya later" zone. Dump her before she dumps you "officially, then hit the gym and spin some plates to speed the detachment of your need for her and recover.[/QUOT

Yea I can agree to that. I mean the fact that OP even made this thread means his gut had alerted him to something being off..

saw her 5 days this week. She might be seeing other guys but she was very affectionate around me all week and warm. She got bitchy last night when I went to bed early. So I don't know. Maybe I'm being insecure.

 

[SteR]

saw her 5 days this week. She might be seeing other guys but she was very affectionate around me all week and warm. She got bitchy last night when I went to bed early. So I don't know. Maybe I'm being insecure.

But like one of the other guys said, it may be her guilty conscience. I mean it's hard to comment since none of us know the full story, but I'd definitely detach emotionally and pay close attention to her behaviour.

 

[jthomp]

But like one of the other guys said, it may be her guilty conscience. I mean it's hard to comment since none of us know the full story, but I'd definitely detach emotionally and pay close attention to her behaviour.

Should I just do nothing for the next few days and let her contact me?

 

[bigneil]

I can't wait for the Girlfriend Going Hot thread.

 

[SteR]

Should I just do nothing for the next few days and let her contact me?

I can't make that decision for you, unfortunately.

However based off what you've said, I personally wouldn't put any effort into her and would just get on with other things - I'd make her reach out to me.

 

[Carpathian]

Dude, quit dancing around eggshells and her emotions. You have your life too. This is NOT all about her. I went through all this sh1t last year too. It is over when it gets to this "mind games" stage. Life is too short to have to tolerate all this BS.

 

[attic]

Should I just do nothing for the next few days and let her contact me?

Don't be passive here, be assertive.

I agree with the others that she is emotionally or physically cheating. Locked phone and her bringing up her room mate cheating is iron sights on this. Women project.

If she's worth keeping then take her out somewhere fun (local venue or dinner) then bang her in the backseat of your car on the way home, slam her head through the side window if you want. Don't worry about where, just pull over somewhere safe and bang her. Obviously get her worked up prior to this during the night by touching and kissing. Be busy the next few days without her.

In the future if she gets lippy about you resting or any other item, firmly tell her to knock it off in a manner you see fit and do not back down or tolerate any of her resulting behavior from you putting her back in her place.

9 months is a long time, you are going to be floating unless you assert yourself and let it be known where you stand with her.

 

[jthomp]

Don't be passive here, be assertive.

I agree with the others that she is emotionally or physically cheating. Locked phone and her bringing up her room mate cheating is iron sights on this. Women project.

If she's worth keeping then take her out somewhere fun (local venue or dinner) then bang her in the backseat of your car on the way home, slam her head through the side window if you want. Don't worry about where, just pull over somewhere safe and bang her. Obviously get her worked up prior to this during the night by touching and kissing. Be busy the next few days without her.

In the future if she gets lippy about you resting or any other item, firmly tell her to knock it off in a manner you see fit and do not back down or tolerate any of her resulting behavior from you putting her back in her place.

9 months is a long time, you are going to be floating unless you assert yourself and let it be known where you stand with her.

Haven't heard from her since I left her house Monday morning. Should I contact her?

 

[sazc]

Haven't heard from her since I left her house Monday morning. Should I contact her?

No. You should let it go. Wait for her to contact. Meantime, find other females.

This obviously isn't going well.

 

[attic]

No. You should let it go. Wait for her to contact. Meantime, find other females.

This obviously isn't going well.

Given she's not reaching out since Monday, i'd hang back and I'd line up here.


Gauge your response on how she contacts you. When you see her again, you should be leading all things (talk, locations, sex).

 

[sazc]

OP in this thread you have cited a relationship of many months that has fallen into a cycle of unreliability. Relationships that go from stable to unreliable, without warning or provocation, is never a good sign.
From what you have posted, you need to hang back and see if she comes to you.
Meanwhile, especially as every day goes by, consider keeping an eye on your options.

 

[jthomp]

Don't be passive here, be assertive.

I agree with the others that she is emotionally or physically cheating. Locked phone and her bringing up her room mate cheating is iron sights on this. Women project.

If she's worth keeping then take her out somewhere fun (local venue or dinner) then bang her in the backseat of your car on the way home, slam her head through the side window if you want. Don't worry about where, just pull over somewhere safe and bang her. Obviously get her worked up prior to this during the night by touching and kissing. Be busy the next few days without her.

In the future if she gets lippy about you resting or any other item, firmly tell her to knock it off in a manner you see fit and do not back down or tolerate any of her resulting behavior from you putting her back in her place.

9 months is a long time, you are going to be floating unless you assert yourself and let it be known where you stand with her.

Should I question her about cheating? I don't want to be with her if she's with other guys.

 

[attic]

Should I question her about cheating? I don't want to be with her if she's with other guys.

I don't think that is a good idea. If she is, she will deny, if she isn't you will look weak. It's a no win IMO.

But if you think she's cheating, then I would listen to that gut.

Where are you at with the last contact with her? When you do talk or spend time with her, you should be calm and cool.

Keep in mind all the advice you get here, it's guys who are coming from various experiences they've had, and they want you to be in the best place for yourself. You will want to flow from this place of confidence and a position of control when you are with her. That doesn't happen on the spot, so make sure you are taking care of yourself with exercise, eating well, and keeping BUSY during this time where she's pulling back (it is challenging to be in this place with a woman you care about).

Be prepared for her to say she needs "time" or other breakup type talk. *If* that happens, you will need to walk and not contact her for awhile. And in that moment you need to just be calm like it doesn't bug you at all.

 

[CMNILS87]

She is considering breaking up with you right now. You don't need to be wasting your life away, waiting for a woman who isn't interested in you. There's a good chance she's interested in a new guy which is why she "needs time". If that falls through, then she'll probably contact you again. Personally, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of being the backburner guy.

If I were you, I'd completely cut her loose and move on. You are no longer her priority.

Dagger to the heart

 

[CMNILS87]

I'll take your advice but how do you know she's seeing other guys? We've been really close the last 9 months. She called me all weekend prior and invited me over to her place to cook dinner Monday and Tuesday night. So I don't know. I've gone through her phone. She's a straight shooter usually. If she doesn't want to hang she usually will just say it. It seems like a messed up thing to lie about. But I have about 1,000 dollars worth of stuff over her house and I want it back. What would be a reasonable time frame to assume she's done for sure?

Are you sexually involved? And there was markers before this showing her pull away, it doesn't happen in just 3 days. And when in times of duress like family emergency most men will lean on their father or a close relative or just stay hushed. Women on the other hand would want you there for emotional support

 

[Roober]

I'm not gong to speculate on anything because you really don't know and it will drive you crazy. So I will tell you what I would do...

-I would stop initiating contact. Don't ignore her, just don't talk with her unless she reaches out.
-move communication to in person communicatiin, cut back on text and phone calls
-start approaching women
-be fun. At this point, you are stressed about this crap and it is likely passing on to her
-she's on a pedestal and knows it. Its time to knock her ass down and put yourself there. Spending time with her comes second t9 what you want to do. She's welcome to come along

My guess is that ypuve fallen in the talking and texting too damn much. Act like your single, but don't be a di6k. I will agree that this behavior is weird, so something happened... Your distance will prompt a talk or she will turn into a bish.... If you get the bish, keep on doing your thing she is not worth your time.... If she wants to talk, be a man and talk to her