Girlfriend dancing with guys etc

[pyros]

Hi.

what would you do if your HB7.5 21 years old girlfriend starts to go to salsa lessons, where she meets a lot of new ppl, a lot of new guys, and then she starts to go out to dance salsa with all these new friends? She also posts a lot of pictures of her dancing, huging his new male friends (girls as well), etc, etc?

Lets say you do not dance salsa, so you cannot go with her.
Would you mind this?
would you just let her do? or would you forbid her to go?

I have a female friend that danced salsa, had dozens of male friends but when she met her boyfriend, he did not like this behaviour, so she stopped it, and just went to dance salsa from time to time, but very rarely. He showed he did not like it, so she stopped it, seems fair, doesnt it?

P.S.
some ppl here would say: just let her do whatever she wants.
some other ppl on the contrary would say: if you do not like X behaviour, you should set boundaries right away.

Im confused. Personally, I would not like to see my gf going out to dance with guy 'friends', and then post pictures of it on FB.

Thanks.

 

[GotED?]

This is called establishing your 'FRAME' from the start.

If you are not well versed in your DJ-hood, then you would have a hard time getting women to respect your boundaries.

Man-up or stay home and worry like an AFC.

Exodus

 

[Who Dares Win]

At a gut level I feel something wrong, to be honest.

I suggest you to take advantage of those pictures to study the body language, whos leaning toward who? where are the hands placed and does she "happen" to take many pictures with a certain guy.

Also dont forget the herd mentality of girls, if her girl friends decide that the group is cool, they will do their best to couple her with some guy from such group....herd of girls dont like outsiders.

As a solution I suggest you to go and pick her up, talk and befriend with the girls and make sure the guys know that you are there.

 

[BeDJ]

Salsa is very sensual dancing. All it takes is a few drinks and whoops!

Putting your foot down will reveal the respect she has for you.

 

[TheException]

what would you do if your HB7.5 21 years old girlfriend starts to go to salsa lessons

Let her

She also posts a lot of pictures of her dancing, huging his new male friends (girls as well), etc, etc?

So what? 90% of guys are chumps. Its insecure thinking if this really bothers you....shouldnt you have pictures on facebook with hot girls you party and go to the bars with anyways?

Lets say you do not dance salsa, so you cannot go with her.
Would you mind this?
would you just let her do? or would you forbid her to go?

Forbid her to go lol? Its a girl who likes to dance....imagine that. That be like her forbidding you going to the gym because she doesnt like all the girls that stare at you when you bench press.

some ppl here would say: just let her do whatever she wants.
some other ppl on the contrary would say: if you do not like X behaviour, you should set boundaries right away.

Thats because people confuse "setting boundaries" with "psycho bf behavior". The "setting boundaries train" on this forum is always running and has a lot of passengers but they often set boundaries for the wrong damn things. Sure....its cool to set boundaries about what constitutes "cheating", disrespectful behavior, sex expectations, etc. Not what class she can take, what guy friends she can hang out with, etc. Thats INSECURITY and brews from the emotion fear. Your scared she might cheat and leave you for another guy from class....so your guy reaction is to restrict her from going to the class...and thats a chump a$$ move. You should laugh at the idea of her leaving you for some other guy...not fear it.

 

[switch]

dude relax. sometimes the choice is not between one action or the other ,there is always a 3rd choice: inaction.
so yeah just chill out, fvck her brains out and if she cheats on you then fvck it, go play metro 2, its awesome

remember you want a girl ,not a headache

 

[Elephant]

what would you do if your HB7.5 21 years old girlfriend starts to go to salsa lessons

Let her

She also posts a lot of pictures of her dancing, huging his new male friends (girls as well), etc, etc?

So what? 90% of guys are chumps. Its insecure thinking if this really bothers you....shouldnt you have pictures on facebook with hot girls you party and go to the bars with anyways?

Lets say you do not dance salsa, so you cannot go with her.
Would you mind this?
would you just let her do? or would you forbid her to go?

Forbid her to go lol? Its a girl who likes to dance....imagine that. That be like her forbidding you going to the gym because she doesnt like all the girls that stare at you when you bench press.

some ppl here would say: just let her do whatever she wants.
some other ppl on the contrary would say: if you do not like X behaviour, you should set boundaries right away.

Thats because people confuse "setting boundaries" with "psycho bf behavior". The "setting boundaries train" on this forum is always running and has a lot of passengers but they often set boundaries for the wrong damn things. Sure....its cool to set boundaries about what constitutes "cheating", disrespectful behavior, sex expectations, etc. Not what class she can take, what guy friends she can hang out with, etc. Thats INSECURITY and brews from the emotion fear. Your scared she might cheat and leave you for another guy from class....so your guy reaction is to restrict her from going to the class...and thats a chump a$$ move. You should laugh at the idea of her leaving you for some other guy...not fear it.

Spot on.

If she is going to stay faithful, it will happen regardless if she goes out. However, if she plants on cheating, banning her from salsa dancing won't stop her. All it does is make you seem insecure.

 

[like2jam]

It's very easy to get jealous in this situation. If she has backbone, and you try to restrict her from doing what she wants, you'll lose her for sure.

You might consider taking up a salsa class at another studio in town. That might throw her for a loop.

 

[pdx1138]

Spot on.

If she is going to stay faithful, it will happen regardless if she goes out. However, if she plants on cheating, banning her from salsa dancing won't stop her. All it does is make you seem insecure.

YES.

I've witnessed first hand this behavior.
I was traveling abroad with my sister and her best friend who was engaged
and is now married. Her friend would dance with random dudes
and make out with them without a second thought (only when she was drunk).

Her reasoning was that she was just having fun and that she wouldn't allow things to go further than that...

If her fiance knew what she was up to, I wonder if they'd be married now.

 

[fuko2007]

dude relax. sometimes the choice is not between one action or the other ,there is always a 3rd choice: inaction.
so yeah just chill out, fvck her brains out and if she cheats on you then fvck it, go play metro 2, its awesome

remember you want a girl ,not a headache

is metro 2 really good? whats it like?..


as far as the girl i have to agree as long as u have banged her you have won...if she cheats fvuck it...im going to go get metro 2 haha

 

[faeyt]

There's two sides. Being insecure, but also being wary. As was said above, if she wanted to cheat she'd find other ways, but if you say no, she might be less satisfied with the relationship. On the other hand, greater opportunity leads to a higher chance of a behaviour - it's like a crime of opportunity. Guy is walking by and sees an unlocked car with money in it. He might not have been looking to steal, but if the opportunity arises...
Basically, if she does the salsa dancing there's a greater chance of her cheating but that does not mean she will. And if she already wants to cheat on you, she will find other ways.

 

[pyros]

Yes but what kind of crazy society is this?
It is not the same to go to the gym than to go to salsa lessons, make new friends, and hang out with them and dance with them, all this in a sensual vibe.

Do you really like to see your girl hanging and dancing with dudes you dont even know, in sensual poses, and also taking pictures of it and uploading it on FB? do YOU REALLY LIKE IT? come on...

As someone said above, it is not that she's gonna cheat, but I do not find this behaviour to be very respectful. I do not care about the cheating, I just care here about respect. I think you give too much 'freedom' to these 'modern' girls that seem to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and if you say something about it you're controlling, come on.
She could do whatever other actvities that do not consist on dancing in a sensual way with guys, dont you think?
I wonder what would a girl say if it was the other way around: her bf going to clubs to dance sensually with girls she does not even know, having fun, and taking pictures, while she is...well, watching a movie with her female friends.

Also, all of you ignored my paragraph of this other girl I know, that was almost profesional salsa dancer, she met her bf, her bf did not like that she went to dance and hang out with guys, so she stopped it, and just went out to dance with him, and with some guy friend from time to time and when her bf was also with her.

 

[BeDJ]

Salsa = Alpha

The man controls the woman like his own puppet. Latin dance clubs are not like the competitions you see, they are literally dry humping each other. Your GF has definitely felt some hard c0cks between her thighs.

You are introducing a gazelle to a lion's den.

Either put your foot down or get whipped into going with her.

 

[NewAndImproved]

I'm gonna read between the lines a bit and guess that at some point your girl suggested that you and her start doing salsa together.

In your own words you say "you don't do salsa" which suggests that you take yourself way too seriously... So your girl goes out on her own to try something new, have fun, and meet dudes who don't take themselves so seriously.

 

[yyc12]

Salsa is very sensual dancing. All it takes is a few drinks and whoops!

Putting your foot down will reveal the respect she has for you.

Um..no it really isn't..and any hardcore salsa dancer will not be going to a salsa night to drink. They go for dancing. People that go to dance rarely have more than a single drink if any at all.

It all depends on what type of "scene" she ends up in. In a hardcore salsa scene, he has nothing to worry about really. In clubs where non hardcore dancers are present...that's a different story.

 

[yyc12]

Lets say you do not dance salsa, so you cannot go with her.
Would you mind this?
would you just let her do? or would you forbid her to go?

When has doing any of this ever ended well in a relationship?? :crazy: This is going to come down to trust. Most guys that join salsa go to meet girls. Most girls that go do it as a hobby. In my salsa scene, the women all have non salsa bfs. The men, while they also go for the dancing, are also always still looking and will probably try for something. To me it's no different than letting your girl go anywhere else when you're not there; she's inevitably going to encounter guys that will make a play for her.

 

[Cremasta]

No, you're fine, just let her go do the dancing thing.

There's two big red flags you want to look out for though:
1. She never, ever invites you along to watch (unless you've told her up front that you have no interest in doing this).
2. Outside of the classes, she starts hanging out with the guys from the dance school instead of you.

 

[In2theGame]

HB7.5 21 years old girlfriend

Nothing more i need to read. Shes 21, young and ready for cvm. but seriously, shes real young man and shes not a HB9 but these days a HB7 would be enough for a lot of guys to try to get in her pants. I dance really good and i pull girls easy just on that, yeah im good lookin and that helps but hey... once she sees the moves... it might make her gina tingle and like another poster said here.. Add drinks and the danger lights go off. Am i saying to leave her, no. Do i recommend you tell her not to do it? No, because she will just give you the femal BS line with "Your controlling me" which result in her justifying cheating on you and "she was just mad at you". Be careful with this one because A) Shes still young and "inexperienced" B) Salsa dancing can lead to something sexual, depending on how its done and C) If shes starting to go out dancing theres no question shes going to meet new people (guys)

 

[VladPatton]

If she wants to cheat, she'll do it in church, man. However, with entrusting her to let her go to salsa classes, be wary of unusual behavior, and be ready to hit the nuke button and walk. You cannot sit there and be surprised if something happens. Look at it as a reaction to her action. Your relationship is in a new era. Time to shift gear accordingly.

Always give freedom and trust, but be ruthless when they are betrayed.

 

[BeDJ]

When has doing any of this ever ended well in a relationship?? :crazy: This is going to come down to trust. Most guys that join salsa go to meet girls. Most girls that go do it as a hobby. In my salsa scene, the women all have non salsa bfs. The men, while they also go for the dancing, are also always still looking and will probably try for something. To me it's no different than letting your girl go anywhere else when you're not there; she's inevitably going to encounter guys that will make a play for her.

I made out with a girl from salsa class at a Latin dance club. If it were not for logistic barriers, I would have fvcked her that night. Her BF was at the next class after a year's hiatus.

You assume all women in relationships go to salsa class to learn. Most taken women will not wake up and think 'Hey, I want to learn a new skill.' There are other driving factors for her reasoning. This should come as a big red flag for the OP, ignoring it so he doesn't appear insecure is not a good play,