Girl says "I'm down, if you're willing to buy me food lol"

[BillyPilgrim]

But anyway, re the bolded, that's semantics. Words can be interpreted in so many different ways, imo the way someone chooses to interpret words spoken speaks more to them than to the person actually speaking the words.

A lot depends on their dynamic, etc.

Here, it doesn't sound like the OP knew this girl's style of humor and as such took her seriously and became bothered by it --he read it like she was some entitled golddigging type of something.

I didn't read it that way, cause I understand that type of sarcastic humor, I heard it a lot living in NY, especially NYC.

Pretty sure they had been texting and had a first date prior to the "buy me food" bit. OP knows enough of her comm style.

Gentlemen, behold the bolded parts. Witness the Hamster in Action. If you're ever texting a girl who engages in Hamster Apologism, run fast and far.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Yeah I took the "lol" as "I know I'm a little out of line being this blunt."

Hmm I wonder what rhymes with "blunt."

 

[devilkingx2]

This the woman? I think she's a little bitter...

The lesson of this story is that if a woman really likes you she will buy you 100 tacos. We're always saying here that a woman with high interest will move mountains lol.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Suggest drinks and dinner at her place, she cooks.

this one is brilliant, please do it OP

 

[devilkingx2]

This^ is exactly what women have been taught about men since the beginning of time. That when a man is totally into a woman, HE will move mountains to be with her. Verbatim.

Too funny and no wonder people are having so many problems connecting.

Men expect women to act like men and chase, move mountains, lead, and women are well, just women who prefer and actually enjoy being pursued and led, at least at first.

It's biological, animalistic.

Whatever, I'm sure some of you will say I'm spinning the hamster wheel or whatever that expression is, which is fine, I've come to expect it here.

.

Moving mountains for a woman is a bad idea that won't work out for most guys.

In the same way that the girl in that video got screwed over for being willing to drive the dude around and buy him tacos when he forgot his wallet.

Unfortunately most guys won't have the luxury of sitting around and waiting for a high interest girl but it's still good to keep in mind that the goal is a girl who'd do a lot to be with you.

 

[bat soup]

It has been over a month since our first date, BTW.

Bad sign. A woman that's interested is not going to piisss you around for a month and then demand free food.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Me: Grab something to eat, then back to my place?
Her: For what? lmao
Me: That's where we have dessert
Her: lol, sounds good but I have to work Saturday morning

Do you still need help with this situation or is it now obvious that she's only interested in free food? I mean, she pretty much said that in the original text.

 

[Bokanovsky]

She requires a date before the panties drop. OP showed his hand way too soon.

Doesn't sound like it. More like "Some sucker wants to buy me food, why not?" At least she's being honest about it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Well she did put lol after the comment which suggests she was joking around, being playful. Or trying to be.

I dunno, just sounded like he was reading something negative into it when it may not have been.

I live in NY too, 50% of the time anyway, and I was born and raised in NY, and when a man invites me out on a second date to a restaurant, I do expect that he will pay.

Is that an unreasonable expectation? Serious question.

I'm not entitled nor a goldigger.

This is a difficult question to answer because we live in transitional times. Traditionally, this would have been a reasonable expectation. However, given that men are constantly being boarded with "equal rights" and "strong and independent women" propaganda, some men are genuinely confused....and others are simply annoyed. I would put myself in the second category. Not because I'm "cheap" but because I can't stand hypocrisy and double standards. I am supposed to treat women as equals and yet all that equality goes out the window when the bill arrives? If you look at traditional gender roles, women benefit by getting free stuff from men, while men benefit by controlling and having authority over women. But according to contemporary dogma, women get to enjoy the benefits traditional gender roles but men do not. It shouldn't be surprising that this would make some men resentful. This is why "who pays" is such a controversial topic.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Doesn't sound like it. More like "Some sucker wants to buy me food, why not?" At least she's being honest about it.

This sounds deranged. Most girls require some initial investment when dating. It is standard.

 

[Billtx49]

This sounds deranged. Most girls require some initial investment when dating. It is standard.

Yep, I can’t believe we have 63 posts over a dinner tab. It’s a minor detail amounting to nothing of real value in the overall scenario of a man’s life.
First bar tab or free dinner gives her the impression that you’re serious and she’s something of value to you…

 

[Bokanovsky]

This sounds deranged. Most girls require some initial investment when dating. It is standard.

You are either dense or being deliberately obtuse. No woman who is interested in you will outright say "I will go out on a date with you if you pay for my dinner". That has literally never happened to me in my entire life. It may be implicitly understood but never explicitly communicated (as that would be extremely tactless). It's like a girl inviting you over to her place and you you saying "I will agree to go but only if you agree to have sex with me". I'm pretty sure the invitation would be pulled if you said something that dumb.

That's why, when a girl says that she will only go for dinner with you if you pay, she is signalling the fact that she is not interested in you romantically. What she is really saying is that she doesn't mind going for dinner, but don't expect to get laid. I can't believe I have to explain something this simple to you.

 

[lgbs2004]

"Let's shave that pvssy and go out for lunch, maybe have a couple beers and eat some Captain Crunch"

 

[The Diver]

"I'm down if you're willing to buy me food"

She's down to MEET you, ONLY IF you buy her food, not down to F you if you buy her food. ( either way, its stinks )

You interpreted it wrongly - Next her.

 

[2Rocky]

I'm telling you ....here is your chance to bust her balls a bit in a joking tone and see where it gets you....

 

[2Rocky]

Are you willing to pay for your platonic friends' meals every time you hang out?

If I invite...Yes...

 

[metalwater]

This sounds deranged. Most girls require some initial investment when dating. It is standard.

are men these days so poor that they worry about who is going to pay for dinner... perhaps they also ask for gas money and go dutch on the condom.

 

[2Rocky]

What if they never asked to hang out?

Quid pro quo is not a sustainable relationship model. Platonic or Sexual....

 

[2Rocky]

Irrelevant.. You can't sit here and tell me you'd be perfectly fine always paying for friend's and family's meals in order for them to have dinner with you, knowing they would never offer to take you out for dinner.

Don't say never junior....

Sure I've had mooch friends and I don't invite them...but more often than not the people I take care of take care of me. You are not operating from a position of abundance...Find something you are abundant in to share ...Time, energy, affection, advice, a listening ear....Plenty of other folks have been generous with me in all those things without expecting them to be repaid...

 

[derby1]

the same way some men feel entitled to certain things (a woman's body)?

were told by modern society you enjoy s*x just as much......therefore it shouldn't be transactional.

for instance if you DM'd a guy this second, and said "can I come and ride you, im so horny"

he would fluff his pillows and bedspread so fast, it would be registered as a mini earthquake