Girl I'm seeing wants to participate in orgasmic meditation with a 'friend'

[MtnMan]

Trying to make this concise.
-seeing this girl for 1.5 months, agreed to be sexually exclusive.
-she read this book called "slow sex" and wants to give its method a try. The principal is called orgasmic meditation.
-the slow sex thing is basically someone getting a girl off via fingers on c!it, with no other romantic or sexual interaction. Thats about all I know about it.
-she has a dude friend who she has known her whole life who is polyamorous, they have never hooked up or dated, but they hang out somewhat regularly. I have not met this dude, nor do I know if he is trying to add her to his harem.
-This dude is into this kind of stuff, probably where she got the idea to read the book
-she claims they are, and have always been, only friends.

She has suggested that I be the person to perform this on her, I was like "sure". Apparently this 'slow sex' thing is often performed by people who are not romantically or otherwise sexually involved with the person receiving the orgasm. Last time I saw her she mentioned how her dude friend had offered to be her 'person', and she said she wasn't sure. I kind of blew it off, but now its been bugging me.

I understand this particular flavor of new age sexual stuff claims that someone can get you off mechanically and have no romantic involvement, but it bothers me, and I've sort of decided I'm not cool with this dude playing with my chicks vag, 'plutonically' or not.

I'm in that murky area where she is not really my gf, but she asked me not to bang other chicks and she wouldn't bang other dudes. I didn't give her any reaction when she brought this up, but I think its almost like this is a $hit test.

Part of me wants to tell her straight up that I'm not cool with it, but not sure if I'm in the right to do that. The other part of me says, I can let her make the choice, never bring it up again, and if she has this dude get her off, I next her.

Should I voice my opinion to her, or just let her make the call and deal with it how I see fit?

 

[Atom Smasher]

Stop second-guessing yourself. You don't like the idea, so tell her it's not cool with you. If she doesn't like that, let her go. Do you really want her drama in your life?

Personally I would boot a chick who even suggested it to me.

 

[MtnMan]

alright, I'll tell her.

 

[MtnMan]

Slip out the back, Jack

Make a new plan, Stan

No need to be coy, Roy.

are you suggesting automatic nexting?

 

[Alvafe]

are you suggesting automatic nexting?

I would, I bet she was lieing about never hook up and is telling to let a guy finger her.

serious if you are not enough for her or want to try with you why even bother with her at all?

tell her you don't like the idea, any kind of complain about it tell her you don't think it will work out becasue you sure have a diferent definition of what means exclusive

then the hunt begins again

 

[rascal99v]

:crackup:

Now I've heard everything.

Never let women decide for you that you should stop spinning plates. That should be your decision alone, not her's. Agreeing to her wishes makes you a beta because you are bowing down to her.

Anytime a woman forces a man to give up sex with other women she takes on the dominant role where she will control the man and not give up having sex with other men herself. That's what's happening to you. :yes:

So, you have a chick who is a plate that is telling you not to have sex with other women and you agree to that. Why? She isn't your girlfriend, so you are free to fvck whoever you want until you are official.

On the other hand, she comes up with this new "method" so she can be sexually stimulated by another man.

And you have to question if this ok or not? :crackup:

She is telling you not to have sex with other women, you agree to it. :crazy:

She is basically having sex with another guy, and you have to think about it. :crazy: :crazy:

If she is getting her cl!t rubbed by some dude, why aren't you getting your c0ck stroked by another chick not even thinking twice about it?

This "relationship" is a fail as far as I'm concerned. She wants to control your sex, but it's ok for her to have sex with other men. She isn't being serious about any "exclusivity" on her part. That is a red flag because she is going back on her word even before you two are exclusive. What do you think is going to happen if you get into an LTR?

If she wants you to not fvck others, she shouldn't be fvcking with others.

I wouldn't take her seriously at all and I would laugh in her face.

Do yourself a favor, get rid of her and don't be a beta fool.

Well, I guess I'm glad that my radar doesn't seem to be unfounded. I have this strange tendency to breeze over stuff like this in the moment and pretend like it never happened. I should have had the convo right then and there. I am going to call her tonight and let her know whats up.

How the hell can you breeze over something so obvious?

She isn't going to care what you have to say about it. She will do it if she wants to. You already became the weaker party when you agreed to her wishes. Just the fact alone that she considered doing this after she wanted you not to be with other women is a reason to let her go. I'd tell her off and end it if that was me. She will probably soft soap you into believing her crap.

 

[MtnMan]

Well, I guess I'm glad that my radar doesn't seem to be unfounded. I have this strange tendency to breeze over stuff like this in the moment and pretend like it never happened. I should have had the convo right then and there. I am going to call her tonight and let her know whats up.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It reminds me of the South Park episode where they started the boy band name Finger Bang.

I personally don't disagree with involving other people, as long as the terms are fair. But it does sound like she's trying to slip one by you here.

I'd tell her that you want to watch. And bring a date. And fvck your date while you watch. Those would be fair terms.

 

[scrouds]

She's asking you if it's okay for another dude to have sexual relations with her.

Any other details are superfluous.

When talking about this, just ask her if she thinks it's a good idea to do open the relationship back up to see other people. If she seems horrified at that idea and starts back pedaling like a madman, she may just be naive.

If she gives any other response she's already checked out. Drop or convert back to plate.

A woman that you've captured mind body and soul wouldn't even think of getting diddled by another man. She sure wouldn't ask permission. Keep that in mind

 

[( . )( . )]

-she read this book called "slow sex" and wants to give its method a try.

How about reading a book on how-to a "slow roast with gravy" instead?

This crap is what happens when a chick forfeits her number one biological imperative. You may scoff but this type of stuff is the slippery slope that is the precursor to the influx of Western woman's current decent into insanity and rising levels of depression. This is NSFW but as you can see for yourself it's clearly the end product of socially and culturally atomized chicks trying everything BUT what they are actually mentally and physically designed to do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6RZZf6HMzo

Save your woman from becoming a vaginal knitter (no white knight..maybe a little)

 

[donking]

Women with guy friends are trouble.

 

[Albatross953]

I'd tell her your life long friend Jane suggested you try "body heat conservation" by rubbing her naked body against yours and is that ok?

Winter is coming....

 

[MtnMan]

Update: I decided to take a middle of the road approach and call her and tell I wasn't cool with it, straight up then gauge her reaction. She claimed she was only telling me he offered, but wasn't going to do it. She ended up thanking me, saying "that means more to me than you know".

She also offered to come help me stack firewood.

So glad I put my foot down, wtf was I thinking?

 

[donking]

You are gonna be constantly compared to her "best/guy friend". Not a way to live bro.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Trying to make this concise.
-she read this book called "slow sex" and wants to give its method a try. The principal is called orgasmic meditation.
-the slow sex thing is basically someone getting a girl off via fingers on c!it, with no other romantic or sexual interaction. Thats about all I know about it.

No romantic or sexual interaction????? Well....according to the description on Amazon:

"The truth is that most women do not have satisfying sex lives. SLOW SEX can change all that. This step-by-step guide teaches men and women how to use the growing practice of Orgasmic Meditation to slow down, connect emotionally "

Hmmm...if she is really with you...why is she talking to another guy about 1) having a satisfying sex life and 2) connecting to someone emotionally?

I think she kind of misled you with the nature of the book. What are the odds that a woman will say one thing but mean something else? Hard to believe! ;-)

 

[rugby11]

Dude use the force you know what works for you. Be Confident in yourself to the point where your not thinking so much about as doing. Maybe you could use this as a lesson to be more upfront and open about what you feel from the experience.

 

[cordoncordon]

To be honest, if you are looking for a potential wife.....this girl is not going to be it. HUGE red flag imo. For example here are the chances that my wife would have ever suggested something like that to me, whether it be after two dates or after 2 years of being together.

.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

In other words, it would never happen.

For her to suggest something like that, at this early stage of a relationship, with some other guy? I would lay 1-9 odds that she has cheated before and will cheat on you if you are with her long enough.

Trust me bro, use this girl as a F buddy but do not get too involved with her. She will use and abuse you.

Update: I decided to take a middle of the road approach and call her and tell I wasn't cool with it, straight up then gauge her reaction. She claimed she was only telling me he offered, but wasn't going to do it. She ended up thanking me, saying "that means more to me than you know".

She also offered to come help me stack firewood.

So glad I put my foot down, wtf was I thinking?

She says that now, after you put your foot down. But what self respecting girl supposedly starting what could be a really serious relationship with someone she really likes would even bring this up? I mean, it does not compute. Unless....she is a woman of questionable virtue and morals. Which I now believe her to be.

DO NOT GET INVOLVED SERIOUSLY WITH THIS GIRL. I really cannot stress this enough.

 

[Vulpine]

Guys, guys... calm down.

This is the nurse chick, "Ms. 30".

She's into him, and this "other guy" fitness test is just a variation of the standard always-used "this guy wants to XYZ" jealousy/reaction guage.
:yawn:

If MtnMan reacts with "sure, whatever", her test results are "He's not committed/is a player".

If MtnMan reacts with "HEY! ƒUCK THAT!", her test results with "He's hooked, it's safe to proceed to more".

In nutshell, she's using the test to gauge her interest in him. She's calibrating her own involvement off HIS... this is pretty standard stuff. If he plays it off, she backs off. If he gets fighty, it's ok to be gah-gah over dude.

It's just a gauging test. Not a crazy "control" thing, or much more than that.

You see all sorts of variations of the same "early relationship" testing: invited to a snuggle party with some guy, going out with a friend for whatever, "an old friend from" wants to (whatever) to make you react...

I'm a little surprised by the over-the-top overt sexual reference here with this test's variation, though. But, just as with any sh¡t test, it's a congruence thing. If MtnMan is the real deal, pass the test. If MtnMan gets douchy, fail.

"Orgasmic meditation"? I'll have to try that up in the deer stand in a few minutes. ...better wear my harness, too.

 

[Zarky]

Sounds dorky as f*ck.

 

[MtnMan]

Guys, guys... calm down.

This is the nurse chick, "Ms. 30".

She's into him, and this "other guy" fitness test is just a variation of the standard always-used "this guy wants to XYZ" jealousy/reaction guage.
:yawn:

If MtnMan reacts with "sure, whatever", her test results are "He's not committed/is a player".

If MtnMan reacts with "HEY! ƒUCK THAT!", her test results with "He's hooked, it's safe to proceed to more".

In nutshell, she's using the test to gauge her interest in him. She's calibrating her own involvement off HIS... this is pretty standard stuff. If he plays it off, she backs off. If he gets fighty, it's ok to be gah-gah over dude.

It's just a gauging test. Not a crazy "control" thing, or much more than that.

You see all sorts of variations of the same "early relationship" testing: invited to a snuggle party with some guy, going out with a friend for whatever, "an old friend from" wants to (whatever) to make you react...

I'm a little surprised by the over-the-top overt sexual reference here with this test's variation, though. But, just as with any sh¡t test, it's a congruence thing. If MtnMan is the real deal, pass the test. If MtnMan gets douchy, fail.

"Orgasmic meditation"? I'll have to try that up in the deer stand in a few minutes. ...better wear my harness, too.

i tend to agree, it seems like there might be a bit of over-reaction here. I definitely feel like this was a test, and I feel great that I called her out on it. Wish I had done it in the moment that it came up, but I needed time to digest it.

I had sent her a text saying, "hi, give me a call when you get a min, thanks". She called right after her shift, and definitely had concern in her voice. I got straight to the point, and it went over really well.

Is this woman wife material? I don't know. Isn't that the whole point of dating someone? This incident really didn't rub me the wrong way enough to next her, especially after my chat with her last night.

I'm sure I risk being called beta, but to be honest, I have to trust my gut as I experience things over someone elses assessment of the situation via the internet.

I appreciate the responses, its just what I needed to grab my balls and clearly draw the line in the sand. :yes: