Girl I'm dating hanging out with this guy a lot

TheException

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2013
Messages
1,116
Reaction score
112
goldengoose said:
You're the one who always posts about her and talks about her having other men and orbiters around, so I wanted to know if you act aloof when she brings other men around in front of you.

That's because The Exception settled for a low quality woman who puts up with whatever she does in order to keep her around. He's afraid of losing his only option so he deals with it by defending her. When she b1tches him out, he acts aloof then forgives her. When she has other men around, he ignores it and thinks he's a prize. Real alpha's wouldn't put up with this sh1t and women who are in love with their man don't spend lots of 1 on 1 time with another man.
Its cute of you to keep "tabs" on me.

Its clear you are incapable of learning the lessons from my RLE posts. You go around these forums literally picking fights.....you are an a$$. Period.
It's not assumptions, that's how things go when other men come around. There's enough threads on this site to show that and not to mention what I've seen people who I know go through.

Some other guy makes her vag tingle and get wet, she loses interest in the boyfriend, the sex stops, he acts aloof trying to get her interest back, she hooks up with the other guy, she dumps him and it's over.
You mentioned this in before. You seem to think I "underestimate" other men and believe I mistake them for orbiters. So then do you promote the "friend zone" as a viable option to begin a sexual relationship with a woman? You clearly seem to think high value men are chasing taken women left and right...

The more time you spend with another person, the more feelings develop. High quality women don't spend 1 on 1 alone time with other men.
False. I can hang out with a fat chick all the time and it wont make me develop feelings for her....

A woman can also hang out with an chump orbiter guy all the time and she will likewise never develop feelings.....he will always be "like my little brother" to her.
Women who love their boyfriend don't hang out with another man.
Obviously. But if her job requires her to hang out with this guy than it does not qualify. Im curious.....what would you do in OP situation? Tell her to quit her or job or else you are dumping her?

If she was hanging out with this guy outside of work....lets say friday nights and shes just saying "its work" as a cover up....thats one thing, and I certainly would not tolerate it. But OP has given zero indication that is the case.
 

TheException

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2013
Messages
1,116
Reaction score
112
Jaylan said:
Ive never seen such a guy like TheException, who constantly defends women hanging out ALONE with other men. Every single case Ive seen, where the woman starts hanging out with some new guy, its always been the death knell of a relationship.
You suffer the same problem as Goldengoose....

You are jumping to the worst conclusion without being provided evidence of such. OP said "they hangout for work". I therefore pose to you the same question...if you are the OP.....would you tell this girl to quit her job or else you are dumping her?

Its 100% undeniable that 1 on 1 time with another man would not be a very good thing for a relationship. But thats not the case here.....you guys are making this quite a stretch. Making this far more complicated than it need be. Sounds like OP's gf works in business and is off meeting clients often at restaurants for food and drinks. Its not like she is spending her friday nights going to the bar with this guy.
 

cordoncordon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2006
Messages
2,890
Reaction score
109
Red flag for sure. Not something I would want my gf or wife to be doing.
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
3,371
Reaction score
1,580
Age
41
TheException said:
Its cute of you to keep "tabs" on me.

Its clear you are incapable of learning the lessons from my RLE posts. You go around these forums literally picking fights.....you are an a$$. Period.

You mentioned this in before. You seem to think I "underestimate" other men and believe I mistake them for orbiters. So then do you promote the "friend zone" as a viable option to begin a sexual relationship with a woman? You clearly seem to think high value men are chasing taken women left and right...


False. I can hang out with a fat chick all the time and it wont make me develop feelings for her....

A woman can also hang out with an chump orbiter guy all the time and she will likewise never develop feelings.....he will always be "like my little brother" to her.

Obviously. But if her job requires her to hang out with this guy than it does not qualify. Im curious.....what would you do in OP situation? Tell her to quit her or job or else you are dumping her?

If she was hanging out with this guy outside of work....lets say friday nights and shes just saying "its work" as a cover up....thats one thing, and I certainly would not tolerate it. But OP has given zero indication that is the case.
dude please, even if her job required her going to do lunch bussiness , they won't be taking pics, and posting then, also I don't know if you did know but when a woman start a LTR she normally tend to get far from guys, because the free time she do have she will want to spend with the new BF and her friends and will not go alone with a guy, he being friend or not.

only question you should really ask is are you ok with this? since op posted this here he is obviously NOT ok with it, so he can't control her, but he can control himself.

so I can see 2 actions to be taken, since its so early for this kind of behavior to happens, end it, dump her.

or do like woman do start to hang out with woman and set the field for a replacement.

and I will repepat this again, it don't matter if she is doing something with the old coat or not, if she is behaving in a way you don't like, and she don't care, end it, and find another who don't do this.
 

fuko2007

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
425
Reaction score
16
Location
South Carolina
Ive been in this type of thing before OP. Big question is do they go to dinner alone and go have drinks alone etc? No point in bringing it up to her by the way because once this starts it only gets worse. The girl i was seeing would go have dinner drinks etc and say it was work/ networking. Finially i had to go out of town and she said guyx was going to stop by her house and watch this concert with her ....NOPE. Thats when i confronted her and she went all why cant i have friends etc.

This type of stuff is not tolerated man. Girls can only hang out with a guy so long until something happens and it happens when you A. confront them or B. start acting all cool with everything. If she did have a high IL she would not be doing stuff like that. And your plight should be when she is away from work thats yalls time. Why do they have to go to dinner and go to a bar to talk about work? It should be done on the clock while your getting paid. NOT on YOUR TIME. Just reading your posts makes me mad about what happend to me an what is going on with you now.
 

bruceartest24

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 5, 2011
Messages
74
Reaction score
1
After reading the comments and thinking it over, it really does bother me. She is trying to sign the client to her firm it's not her colleague it's a potential client. He invites her out a lot and I feel like she is scheduling some of these meets as well.

I'm just going to taper off communication and when/if she asks ill just let her know how I feel about the situation and its best if we don't continue dating. Here's what I found out:

Drinks
Brunch
Dinner
Comedy event
I believe she's been over his place because he has taken a picture of her with his cat.

Looking back I feel so stupid for even thinking about staying with her, I'm really thankful for your help.
 

fuko2007

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
425
Reaction score
16
Location
South Carolina
bruceartest24 said:
After reading the comments and thinking it over, it really does bother me. She is trying to sign the client to her firm it's not her colleague it's a potential client. He invites her out a lot and I feel like she is scheduling some of these meets as well.

I'm just going to taper off communication and when/if she asks ill just let her know how I feel about the situation and its best if we don't continue dating. Here's what I found out:

Drinks
Brunch
Dinner
Comedy event
I believe she's been over his place because he has taken a picture of her with his cat.

Looking back I feel so stupid for even thinking about staying with her, I'm really thankful for your help.
Again...why is this on YOUR TIME? She has plenty of time to leave work and meet for lunch with him like she is paid to do. Brunch maybe i could deal with that but dinner, shows etc. She is a lost cause. People dont ride their cats around in their car and **** . That means she went to his place and that is not kosher my friend. especially in a relationship, you need to ditch this one before you get the boot from her. Read up on the dumping guide and the NC challenge. Good luck friend, i feel for you been there before.
 

bruceartest24

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 5, 2011
Messages
74
Reaction score
1
fuko2007 said:
Again...why is this on YOUR TIME? She has plenty of time to leave work and meet for lunch with him like she is paid to do. Brunch maybe i could deal with that but dinner, shows etc. She is a lost cause. People dont ride their cats around in their car and **** . That means she went to his place and that is not kosher my friend. especially in a relationship, you need to ditch this one before you get the boot from her. Read up on the dumping guide and the NC challenge. Good luck friend, i feel for you been there before.

100% right, just feel terrible right now. Just typing this out and reading the responses were like a wakeup call. Hope I can get over her quick not use to this feeling.
 

goldengoose

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2011
Messages
479
Reaction score
116
TheException said:
Its cute of you to keep "tabs" on me.

Its clear you are incapable of learning the lessons from my RLE posts. You go around these forums literally picking fights.....you are an a$$. Period.

You mentioned this in before. You seem to think I "underestimate" other men and believe I mistake them for orbiters. So then do you promote the "friend zone" as a viable option to begin a sexual relationship with a woman? You clearly seem to think high value men are chasing taken women left and right...


False. I can hang out with a fat chick all the time and it wont make me develop feelings for her....

A woman can also hang out with an chump orbiter guy all the time and she will likewise never develop feelings.....he will always be "like my little brother" to her.

Obviously. But if her job requires her to hang out with this guy than it does not qualify. Im curious.....what would you do in OP situation? Tell her to quit her or job or else you are dumping her?

If she was hanging out with this guy outside of work....lets say friday nights and shes just saying "its work" as a cover up....thats one thing, and I certainly would not tolerate it. But OP has given zero indication that is the case.


What lessons were those? Most of the people that read them agrees with me.

She b1tched you out, you acted aloof, you forgave her on the way back to the car.

You tried to help her with her test, she b1tched you out, you got mad, she cried.

You wanted sex, she denied you because she was mad at you, she was thinking of the ex, you got sex when she wanted it.

If you don't like what people have to say about your real life experiences, then don't keep posting about them.

You built yourself into this "super alpha" in your own mind along with your girlfriend being this amazing woman when its not that at all. Other people on here have said the same thing as me. You refuse to see things for what they really are.

It doesn't matter what I think about the "friend zone" being a viable option. What matters is what your girlfriend and what her orbiters think about it because what they do is what will affect you, not what I think. I think it's not a good route to go, but women do cheat going that route, so you can say it does work for cheating.

When your girlfriend is hanging around oribters, that shows she is willing to put herself out there for other men. When there is a guy she really wants, that's the guy who she will really want to be with. Women with orbiters have been known to give them a taste every once in a while. I'm just trying to help you understand, but you feel I'm attacking you in some way.

You hanging out with a fat chick has nothing to do with your girlfriend hanging out with other men. When she is hanging out with a guy she likes, she will develop feelings for him. If you can't see that, then you have no clue about women. Why would you hang out with a fat chick?

"The brother" is only good for a man that she's known for a long time. Some dude she's just met can't be "like a brother" to her because she doesn't know him that well to call him that. Is that the line your girlfriend gives you? You call these guys chumps, obviously they bother you that your girlfriend spends time with them. If they get to spend more or equal time with her than you do, I wouldn't call them chumps, because she is giving them equal or higher value than you.

She is doing a lot more than just doing work for her job. She is having drinks, brunches, dinners, went out to events, and has been over to his place. Basically, she is dating him on the side and using work as a front to spend time with him. That's how some women go about it. They will use "work" or "school" to spend 1 on 1 alone time with him so it looks innocent to guys like you. That isn't good and it's stupid to put up with that.

Quit her job? Why would I tell her that? I would look at the situation for what it is and what I'm getting out of it. When I see her spending more time with him than me and over at his place alone, that's when I dump her.

What would you do? Continue to act aloof and oblivious to what's really going on so you get cheated on or dumped?

wtf? Are you not reading what he is saying about her going over to his place? You don't find anything wrong with that? You always defend women who are displaying negative actions.

What does a Friday Night have to do with anything? They could go over to fvck at his place at noon after brunch on a Wednesday.

Two people can fvck anytime of the day or week when they are alone without the boyfriend around.

That's what these low quality women do without you knowing when she has oribters or men she feels has higher value than you.

Why do you accept your girlfriend hanging out with a lot of orbiters? That is disrespectful towards you and one day she will be giving someone a taste. Wake up man, we are trying to help you out.
 

goldengoose

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2011
Messages
479
Reaction score
116
Harry Wilmington said:
In the meantime - as you may be aware, bringing this to her attention and trying to logically convince her why she shouldn't hang out with this guy will get you nowhere. You can handle this one of two ways: 1. Whine about it and be all butt-hurt when she tells you these stories of her hanging out with guy; or 2. Start doing what she's doing - make plans and be aloof when you say to her "oh, me and a friend are going to a salsa club tonight" or "me and a friend are going to see a movie together." If she inquires further, mention the name of a female friend (even if it's not true) and say "yeah, she wanted to see this movie, and I know you don't like these kinds of movies so I said we should go together." Of course, like any hypocrite she'll probably be like "why would you not want to see it with me? Why go with another girl?" Then you just hit her with what she hit you with - "but honey, we're just friends, nothing's going to happen, why are you so upset?" Then she'll probably try to explain herself, at which point you use her words against her - "Look, you yourself have guy friends you go out with, and at first I felt some kind of way - then I realized you were right, and that I had friends of both genders I was neglecting by being in a relationship, and that neither of us should feel the need to do that. So, off to the movies I go!"

See if she doesn't change her tune by the time you get back, lol
This is terrible advice. While she is spending time with the 40 year old, you want him to make up a woman who doesn't even exist while he has his girlfriend out with some other man. This does nothing to solve the problem. If she likes the dude more than him, and has lost interest him, things will still go downhill. Playing mind games is stupid when you're being disrespected. Chumps play games while real men have a respectful girlfriend who doesn't do this sh1t. Dump her ass, so he can spend real time with real women. That's my advice.



JohnChops said:
Why don't you just tell her to stop..... I don't get it. If she doesn't want to then that's telling you something and you should dump her.

She isn't going to stop. She will do what she wants. Do you think she is going to listen to a guy she doesn't respect? He will get excuses or she will tell him he's a friend. It's up to the OP dump her.


Danger said:
Why would you limit your sexual options by being in an exclusive relationship with a woman who chooses to keep her options open by entertaining other men?

She says it is for "work", yet she is at dinner and drinks with him, without you being invited?

Use the opportunity to find replacement plates, this is going to end badly.
It sure is and I agree 100%.

Once she starts fvcking the 40 year old, you won't be getting any from her, so it's stupid playing mind games or acting aloof. You can act aloof after she dumps you if you decide to let her do that to you.
 

Jaylan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
Messages
3,121
Reaction score
133
bruceartest24 said:
After reading the comments and thinking it over, it really does bother me. She is trying to sign the client to her firm it's not her colleague it's a potential client. He invites her out a lot and I feel like she is scheduling some of these meets as well.

I'm just going to taper off communication and when/if she asks ill just let her know how I feel about the situation and its best if we don't continue dating. Here's what I found out:

Drinks
Brunch
Dinner
Comedy event
I believe she's been over his place because he has taken a picture of her with his cat.

Looking back I feel so stupid for even thinking about staying with her, I'm really thankful for your help.
Wanna defend this, TheException? Read the bold and tell me that sh!t isnt odd and disrespectful on top of the other crap. Come on now.

OP, DUMP THIS WOMAN. Dont have a long break up conversation or do any overly emotional crap. Just tell her "I dont feel like we are compatible. I cant date a woman that behaves the way you do, and Im not going to try to control your behavior. It was fun while it lasted. But now we can find partners better suited for us"

Youll be free, and that will send her into a mind fvk.
 

TheException

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2013
Messages
1,116
Reaction score
112
I was honestly tempted to just dismiss this entire post based upon the fact that 95% is made up or fabricated. But....for discussion purposes, I think it may be best to try and see where the he11 you are coming from.

At this point I think you just like to argue. In almost every thread you nit pick and make stuff up just so you have things to argue about. I give credit to Danger and PairPlusRoyalFlush because when we disagree they are consistent. They simply have a different mindset and philosophy from me and thats ok. We try to convince each other all the time.....but you.....dont seem to be anywhere as articulate and consistent. You almost look for things in anything I post, just to disagree.
goldengoose said:
What lessons were those? Most of the people that read them agrees with me.

She b1tched you out, you acted aloof, you forgave her on the way back to the car.

You tried to help her with her test, she b1tched you out, you got mad, she cried.

You wanted sex, she denied you because she was mad at you, she was thinking of the ex, you got sex when she wanted it.
1. They are lessons based upon real life. I dont just come here and masturbate to the red pill and come up with theories....I put them into practice. If you cant relate to those posts and the only thing you get out of them is that you think I am so "whipped" or "getting disrespected".....look behind you. The main themes and points whizzed right by your head.

2. I dont care what you or any other person really thinks for that matter. Just because you and "most others" disagree with me doesnt make you correct. He11 the majority of America voted in Obama. Majority doesnt mean squat pal.

3. Every one of your "cliff notes" on my RLE is mischaracterized. I encourage members to go read them for themselves. You make it seem like she was acting like a real b1tch when really......it was normal female behavior. Get this through your head pal.....they ARE EMOTIONAL BEINGS.
It doesn't matter what I think about the "friend zone" being a viable option.
It certainly does matter pal.

It called being congruent. The reality you are painting about women constantly banging their orbiters is false. If that were the case, we would be preaching about how to get friendzoned on purpose, in order to sleep with a taken woman. They dont bang "friends" as much as you and the other CWAFs say they do.
What matters is what your girlfriend and what her orbiters think about it
because what they do is what will affect you, not what I think. I think it's not a good route to go, but women do cheat going that route, so you can say it does work for cheating.
This has NOTHING to do with me or my girlfriend. We should be helping the OP and instead.....you want to try to tell me how my relationship is.

You must be so smart.
When your girlfriend is hanging around oribters, that shows she is willing to put herself out there for other men. When there is a guy she really wants, that's the guy who she will really want to be with. Women with orbiters have been known to give them a taste every once in a while.
A new concept! "The occasional friendzone bl0wjob"!!!!!!

Absolutely absurd. They dont get a "taste". The only thing they get to taste is her "fake attention". She uses it to keep these guys on a leash and do her bidding and listen to her drama.
You hanging out with a fat chick has nothing to do with your girlfriend hanging out with other men.
Its a point I was trying to make that apparently has whizzed past your head along with everything else I apparently say....

An orbiter to a woman is what a fat chick is to a man.

She is absolutely sexually repulsed by a male orbiter. In fact, one of the most common scenarios that drive men to find the manosphere is when he has had a crush on a woman for a long time but she had a boyfriend. When she breaks up...he thinks he finally has a shot.......only to find out she banged some other guy this weekend. He is left heartbroken.

Women would rather meet up with a random guy and have sex with him....over some guy whose "been there" for her for years.
"The brother" is only good for a man that she's known for a long time. Some dude she's just met can't be "like a brother" to her because she doesn't know him that well to call him that.
And how do you think they get that way pal? Do they suddenly wake up one day and magically know some woman for a "long time"? No....they try to be nice. They try to hook up with them. They listen to their drama. They snap selfies with them at work. Its how it starts.....its extremely possible to get thrown into the "friends" category extremely early. Women usually know within 2 dates whether she sees you as a friend or not.....2!!!! not "a long time".
She is doing a lot more than just doing work for her job. She is having drinks, brunches, dinners, went out to events, and has been over to his place. Basically, she is dating him on the side and using work as a front to spend time with him. That's how some women go about it. They will use "work" or "school" to spend 1 on 1 alone time with him so it looks innocent to guys like you. That isn't good and it's stupid to put up with that.
Finally....something of substance.

I agree with this....if it were true. He said "he believes she was over his house".....he doesnt even know. He answered his own problem earlier when he said "he is jealous" and that he "cares too much". Not one person can say for certain that she is doing anything inappropriate with this older guy. Sure as he11 sounds like he is trying.....but we know how "trying" goes for 95% of the male beta population.

All in all. It sounds to me like she is trying her damnest to suck up to a potential client and land him for their business. She could be sucking his d1ck too....or she could not be. But you guys have him seriously considering breaking up with his girlfriend simply because you read a couple lines on the internet. You dont know the entire situation....its impossible for us to tell.

Its clear that OP has a lot of growth and work to do on himself still.....but you other posters should be ashamed. Your point of view is based on a lot of assumptions.

You always defend women who are displaying negative actions.
Nice blanket statement. Im one of the biggest critics on settling for low quality women on this site pal. When they act like a b1tch, ill treat them like one......not because some user told me only 2 paragraphs of his current relationship and its not very clear.

Why do you accept your girlfriend hanging out with a lot of orbiters? That is disrespectful towards you and one day she will be giving someone a taste.
Again ill ask....so you believe going through the friendzone is a viable option to hooking up with woman? Just wanna get that on record because I bet 90% of the users here have tried that and failed and could let you know how the friendzone REALLY works.

You do realize its in the woman's DNA to monopolize male attention right? If you ever find a girl who wouldnt give even the time of day to another man just because she is dating you......well my god....wife her up asap. They dont exist. There will always be guys trying to hit on your woman. If you are high value and she is highly attracted to you....she wont do a damn thing to another man....she wouldnt even dream of it.

If you are going to respond atleast break it down so I can see what point you are addressing with what....they was dreadfully painful to read through. Most of it was just random blabber about my girlfriend. Lets stick on topic pal....
 

fuko2007

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
425
Reaction score
16
Location
South Carolina
everyone here needs to agree that no metter what way the op decides to go she needs to be gone. Op. She has broken every rule in the book. Some of us might say it diffrently and have different ways of ending it but it needs to be done. No mind games, keep it short sweet and simple. And do it before she does so you don't get hurt anymore than you already are man. Let us know how it goes.
 

TheException

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2013
Messages
1,116
Reaction score
112
Jaylan said:
Wanna defend this, TheException? Read the bold and tell me that sh!t isnt odd and disrespectful on top of the other crap. Come on now.

OP, DUMP THIS WOMAN. Dont have a long break up conversation or do any overly emotional crap. Just tell her "I dont feel like we are compatible. I cant date a woman that behaves the way you do, and Im not going to try to control your behavior. It was fun while it lasted. But now we can find partners better suited for us"

Youll be free, and that will send her into a mind fvk.
Reading too much PHM lately Jaylan?

You have been one of the most consistently attacked members of this forum because you actually give advice that goes against the insecure, fearful CWAFs. Now you read one line that has the words "I BELIEVE..." in it and are ready to cast complete judgement like every other drone on here.

If what he says could be confirmed as 100% true.....it be certainly a red flag. But from what OP has said so far....im not convinced of anything. Its sounds like paranoia on his behalf because he is jealous and is probably thinking of worst case scenarios.....I used to be like this once. I let fear rule my emotions and I would constantly think about what women were doing behind my back. What ended up happening? My insecure behavior would come out and turn the woman off. Nothing ever was going on behind my back and instead...I ruined many a relationships.

OP situation is his own. He can make the decision....I just dont see how "best guesses" from the OP can warrant such extreme backlash from members. If OP can confirm 100% that she is spending time with this guy outside of a work atmosphere and is chilling over his house for random periods of time....I would 100% be in support of confronting her and getting answers, accompanied with a possible break up. But saying "he believes" or "he thinks"....isnt gonna do it for me.
 

goldengoose

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2011
Messages
479
Reaction score
116
TheException said:
I was honestly tempted to just dismiss this entire post based upon the fact that 95% is made up or fabricated.

you nit pick and make stuff up just so you have things to argue about.

haha His girlfriend is over at the 40 year old man's place and The Exception is saying I'm fabricating, making things up, and nit picking.

What do you think she is doing over there with him Exception? Playing checkers and going over business figures? Do you need a sex video for proof or are you intelligent enough to understand that something isn't right?

TheException said:
I dont care what you or any other person really thinks for that matter.

Of course you don't care and your responses show that. Every guy who posted about orbiters or girlfriends hanging out with other guys got cheated on. Many men in this forum had the same thing happen so they know the routine and what to look for. You can learn from them but you say you don't come here for advice.

TheException said:
they ARE EMOTIONAL BEINGS.

Of course they are. So, when they get emotions and feelings for another man after they hang out with him a lot, they will fvck him.

TheException said:
The reality you are painting about women constantly banging their orbiters is false. They dont bang "friends" as much as you and the other CWAFs say they do.

You're putting words in my mouth again. I never said they are constantly banging orbiters, you are saying that. They might give some a taste every so often, and if you think otherwise you are dumb. A "friend" can be any guy she calls a friend. I've fvcked women who introduced me as her friend to her friends when we went out. The OP's girlfriend would call the 40 year old man she fvcked a friend. You are green about women.

TheException said:
This has NOTHING to do with me or my girlfriend.

Why doesn't it? Yours is doing the same things as the girlfriends of these other men on here. You just don't want to accept it, you stick your head in the sand and become oblivious to everything going on around you.

TheException said:
Absolutely absurd. They dont get a "taste". She is absolutely sexually repulsed by a male orbiter.

You have no clue what you're talking about. Ask the other men on here how much their woman was sexually repulsed when she fvcked one of her orbiters. Ask the girl at my work why she fvcked her orbiter if she was so repulsed by him. More excuses and denying from you. This is what you tell yourself because you are afraid to what's actually going on.

High Quality women don't have time for orbiters when they are busy with the man they love.

TheException said:
And how do you think they get that way pal? Do they suddenly wake up one day and magically know some woman for a "long time"? No....they try to be nice. They try to hook up with them. They listen to their drama. They snap selfies with them at work. Its how it starts.....its extremely possible to get thrown into the "friends" category extremely early. Women usually know within 2 dates whether she sees you as a friend or not.....2!!!! not "a long time".

Wrong. If you are "like a brother" to her she wouldn't see you as a brother after 2 dates. She would see you as a brother after she's known you for a long time. She would see you as a friend after 2 dates.

Low quality and insecure women keep orbiters around for validation and ego purposes. Quality women only need their man because she is afraid of losing him. Your girlfriend knows you will never leave her so that's why she can get away with a ton of orbiters around.

TheException said:
Again ill ask....so you believe going through the friendzone is a viable option to hooking up with woman?

I've already answered this above, go back and read it.

TheException said:
Most of it was just random blabber about my girlfriend.
Random blabber? Your girlfriend is doing the same exact things these other guys girlfriends are doing. It all ends the same way. Wake up pal.

Women who think of their man as an alpha don't entertain other men and orbiters.

Real alphas don't act aloof when their woman is entertaining orbiters. They replace her and go out and bang other women.

Beta chumps allow their woman to do as she pleases while she entertains other men.

Betas are afraid to leave, they let her do what she wants, and they make excuses defending her hanging out with other men.

A man who sets no boundaries and lets his woman flaunt other men in front of him is a damn fool.
 

Jaylan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 8, 2011
Messages
3,121
Reaction score
133
TheException said:
Reading too much PHM lately Jaylan?
Comparing me to that dude is laughable at best.

You have been one of the most consistently attacked members of this forum because you actually give advice that goes against the insecure, fearful CWAFs. Now you read one line that has the words "I BELIEVE..." in it and are ready to cast complete judgement like every other drone on here.
People who think for themselves will always have detractors. The more vocal members of Sosuave can be quite feisty when someone speaks against some of the groupthink mantra that exists here. That said, many men here have their own different beliefs.

As Ive said time and time again, Ive gotten enough reps, PMs, and shout outs in threads to know some of my viewpoints are shared. That said, I couldnt give 2 sh!ts when trolls here try to flame me, if thats who you are referring to.

Fact of the matter is, you have been off the mark regarding female behavior with orbiters. Youll come to your senses soon enough, maybe.

If what he says could be confirmed as 100% true.....it be certainly a red flag. But from what OP has said so far....im not convinced of anything. Its sounds like paranoia on his behalf because he is jealous and is probably thinking of worst case scenarios.....I used to be like this once. I let fear rule my emotions and I would constantly think about what women were doing behind my back. What ended up happening? My insecure behavior would come out and turn the woman off. Nothing ever was going on behind my back and instead...I ruined many a relationships.
Uh huh.

And every situation that Ive seen thats similar to OPs always ends with the guy looking like a chump. Dinner and drinks with some dude from work...and then taking pictures with the guys cat. Where the hell do you think those pictures are being taken? Come on now. Thats not paranoia on OPs part. Thats a disrespectful woman getting to comfy with a coworker.
OP situation is his own. He can make the decision....I just dont see how "best guesses" from the OP can warrant such extreme backlash from members. If OP can confirm 100% that she is spending time with this guy outside of a work atmosphere and is chilling over his house for random periods of time....I would 100% be in support of confronting her and getting answers, accompanied with a possible break up. But saying "he believes" or "he thinks"....isnt gonna do it for me.
Lol, and this is how dudes get cheated on and/or cuckolded. They make excuses for the woman and need more and more proof of bad behavior, despite the substantial proof thats already available.

Dude, I can guarantee this woman has been at that guys place. People dont remove their cats from their premises for anything other than vet visits. They definitely dont bring them to work for pictures with co-workers.
 

rascal99v

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 11, 2012
Messages
259
Reaction score
146
Location
here and there
Dude, you need to always look at the big picture when dealing with these matters. Chicks can tell you anything they want. That doesn't mean any of it is true. I've fvcked chicks behind their boyfriends back. They told their boyfriend the same damn thing. "Nothing is going on", "You're the only guy I want". "He's just a friend", "You have nothing to worry about". That is all bullsh1t. It's just a bunch of useless words and a big smoke and mirror cover up. Every time the dude confronted his girlfriend, that's when she cheated or decided about dumping him. Women who are talking and spending a lot of time with another dude will bang him sooner or later.

No doubt that you will naive men tell you to ignore it, pretend to be a prize, be aloof, make up fictitious women to make her jealous. That is totally lame because you just prolong the inevitable cheating. Doing that only makes matters worse because she doesn't care. She will do what she wants to do anyway. You become more insecure and you waste your time on a woman who doesn't like you anymore.

You said you told her your feelings about this. Did she stop hanging out with this guy? No, in fact, she has escalated things with him. If she was scared of damaging this relationship, she wouldn't still see this guy. I can see her doing things with him for business purposes, that is acceptable. But having personal dinners, going out to functions together, and ending up back at his pad is way out of line.

Women only go over to another dudes pad is if she wants to bang him. There should be no reason for her to be there. If she wants to conduct business, she can do it at the office. That's what business people do when doing business. Anything else is just an excuse to spend more time with him.

Private dinners and going to his pad after is not acceptable and shouldn't be tolerated. Some men will be naive enough to try to down to try play it for whatever reason, but common sense tells you that going to his pad means they fvcked or at least did something. The pictures of her and his cat tell you she's been there at his pad.

Older men look for younger pvssy to bang. Some younger women look for older established men for security. She's out with him doing things that you two should be doing. She's at his pad as he's snapping pictures of her with his cat. Put two and two together and you can see what's wrong with this picture.

It doesn't matter if you believe that she's fvcked this guy right now or not. What matters is her lack of respect for you. Which is continuing to grow after you made it known you don't like what's going on. Her actions show that she has no plans of stopping to see him. It's up to you if you want to accept this type of behavior or not. It's only going to get worse if you choose to stick around for more.

A good woman who respects you, doesn't add other dudes into the mix. She wants her time to be well spent with you.

I would look for that woman who does just that and leave this one to carry on with the old man.

bruceartest24 said:
Drinks
Brunch
Dinner
Comedy event
I believe she's been over his place because he has taken a picture of her with his cat.

This is an excellent timeline that shows how these side relationships progress. It starts out as something innocent as drinks. Then it progresses to more activities until she ends up at his pad. But we have naive men who still don't want to believe what transpires in these side relationships. What a shame. :yes:


bruceartest24 said:
Been dating this girl and its been going well.
How is it going well when she is hanging out with him a lot and is over at his pad with his cat? :crazy:

bruceartest24 said:
Lately she's been hanging out with this guy a lot. I called her out on it and she goes it's for work and he's just a friend. This guy is 40 we are in our mid 20s and every chance he gets he snaps a picture of her at brunch or dinner or having drinks and tags her.
Yeah, this dude wants to fvck her (if he hasn't already) because he wouldn't be spending that much time with just a client or co-worker. Don't give her the benefit of the doubt becaue she is spending just as much time with him.

bruceartest24 said:
I won't lie it gets me jealous and she told me before that nothing is going on and she is only dating me. Few of these events were in a group setting with coworker or her friends and a few are just them.
Staying on in this relationshup will make you even more jealous and insecure when she spends more time with him. She can tell you anything, that dosn't mean any of it's true. The fact that she wants to be alone with him should give red flags that something is wrong.


bruceartest24 said:
How should I proceed in this situation? My gut feeling is the guy wants more then to hang out with a cute mid 20s girl just not sure if my girl is giving in or what is going on.
Your gut is right because he wants to bang her and the fact she is spending time with him shows that she wants him to bang her. You made your feelings known and she disregarded them.

Why should you sit around waiting for her to stop hanging out with this guy? If she is out with him, then why aren't you out meeting new women?

Proceed by finding another woman and get rid of this one to be with the old man.

I keep telling you guys that if you had other options and womem available to you, then your girlfriends wouldn't disrespect you with other men. :yes:
 

bruceartest24

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 5, 2011
Messages
74
Reaction score
1
rascal99v said:
Dude, you need to always look at the big picture when dealing with these matters. Chicks can tell you anything they want. That doesn't mean any of it is true. I've fvcked chicks behind their boyfriends back. They told their boyfriend the same damn thing. "Nothing is going on", "You're the only guy I want". "He's just a friend", "You have nothing to worry about". That is all bullsh1t. It's just a bunch of useless words and a big smoke and mirror cover up. Every time the dude confronted his girlfriend, that's when she cheated or decided about dumping him. Women who are talking and spending a lot of time with another dude will bang him sooner or later.

No doubt that you will naive men tell you to ignore it, pretend to be a prize, be aloof, make up fictitious women to make her jealous. That is totally lame because you just prolong the inevitable cheating. Doing that only makes matters worse because she doesn't care. She will do what she wants to do anyway. You become more insecure and you waste your time on a woman who doesn't like you anymore.

You said you told her your feelings about this. Did she stop hanging out with this guy? No, in fact, she has escalated things with him. If she was scared of damaging this relationship, she wouldn't still see this guy. I can see her doing things with him for business purposes, that is acceptable. But having personal dinners, going out to functions together, and ending up back at his pad is way out of line.

Women only go over to another dudes pad is if she wants to bang him. There should be no reason for her to be there. If she wants to conduct business, she can do it at the office. That's what business people do when doing business. Anything else is just an excuse to spend more time with him.

Private dinners and going to his pad after is not acceptable and shouldn't be tolerated. Some men will be naive enough to try to down to try play it for whatever reason, but common sense tells you that going to his pad means they fvcked or at least did something. The pictures of her and his cat tell you she's been there at his pad.

Older men look for younger pvssy to bang. Some younger women look for older established men for security. She's out with him doing things that you two should be doing. She's at his pad as he's snapping pictures of her with his cat. Put two and two together and you can see what's wrong with this picture.

It doesn't matter if you believe that she's fvcked this guy right now or not. What matters is her lack of respect for you. Which is continuing to grow after you made it known you don't like what's going on. Her actions show that she has no plans of stopping to see him. It's up to you if you want to accept this type of behavior or not. It's only going to get worse if you choose to stick around for more.

A good woman who respects you, doesn't add other dudes into the mix. She wants her time to be well spent with you.

I would look for that woman who does just that and leave this one to carry on with the old man.




This is an excellent timeline that shows how these side relationships progress. It starts out as something innocent as drinks. Then it progresses to more activities until she ends up at his pad. But we have naive men who still don't want to believe what transpires in these side relationships. What a shame. :yes:




How is it going well when she is hanging out with him a lot and is over at his pad with his cat? :crazy:



Yeah, this dude wants to fvck her (if he hasn't already) because he wouldn't be spending that much time with just a client or co-worker. Don't give her the benefit of the doubt becaue she is spending just as much time with him.



Staying on in this relationshup will make you even more jealous and insecure when she spends more time with him. She can tell you anything, that dosn't mean any of it's true. The fact that she wants to be alone with him should give red flags that something is wrong.




Your gut is right because he wants to bang her and the fact she is spending time with him shows that she wants him to bang her. You made your feelings known and she disregarded them.

Why should you sit around waiting for her to stop hanging out with this guy? If she is out with him, then why aren't you out meeting new women?

Proceed by finding another woman and get rid of this one to be with the old man.

I keep telling you guys that if you had other options and womem available to you, then your girlfriends wouldn't disrespect you with other men. :yes:

You are completely right and it's stupid for me to ignore the signs. I went out to a friends birthday party at a lounge and got 3 girls numbers and took 1 home. I honestly care for her and would never do this but she crossed the line and it actually made me feel better and a huge ego boost.
 
Top