Girl I'm dating hanging out with this guy a lot

[Mr_Stinky]

I literally just did a podcast on this a couple weeks ago - check it out: Candy Crush + Why She WILL Leave You For Her Close Guy Friend

In the meantime - as you may be aware, bringing this to her attention and trying to logically convince her why she shouldn't hang out with this guy will get you nowhere. You can handle this one of two ways: 1. Whine about it and be all butt-hurt when she tells you these stories of her hanging out with guy; or 2. Start doing what she's doing - make plans and be aloof when you say to her "oh, me and a friend are going to a salsa club tonight" or "me and a friend are going to see a movie together." If she inquires further, mention the name of a female friend (even if it's not true) and say "yeah, she wanted to see this movie, and I know you don't like these kinds of movies so I said we should go together." Of course, like any hypocrite she'll probably be like "why would you not want to see it with me? Why go with another girl?" Then you just hit her with what she hit you with - "but honey, we're just friends, nothing's going to happen, why are you so upset?" Then she'll probably try to explain herself, at which point you use her words against her - "Look, you yourself have guy friends you go out with, and at first I felt some kind of way - then I realized you were right, and that I had friends of both genders I was neglecting by being in a relationship, and that neither of us should feel the need to do that. So, off to the movies I go!"

See if she doesn't change her tune by the time you get back, lol

Great advice. Listen to this man!

P:S - LOVE the podcast Harry!

EDIT: Faaaaaaaaaaaack. Glad you got out

 

[goldengoose]

Great advice. Listen to this man!

P:S - LOVE the podcast Harry!

EDIT: Faaaaaaaaaaaack. Glad you got out

Great advice? How is it great advice? Harry told the OP to stay with the girlfriend instead of getting out. Harry ignored all the warning signs, she didn't change her tune. Not great advice.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

People, including women, like variety. Most will break any rules that are not enforced.

This logic is fvcked.

Some of you other guys as well. What's that saying about the definition of insanity. You guys who constantly get cheated on......


Try this "rule": Tell a girl, that you're seeing, that you don't want to be exclusive and the only rule you have is that she has to date other people.

Then if she asks why, tell her, in so many words, that you like her but you're not looking for a committed relationship, so if she only dates you, she might start to get attached, which wouldn't be a good thing.

Seriously, try it.

 

[TheSlasher]

This logic is fvcked.

Some of you other guys as well. What's that saying about the definition of insanity. You guys who constantly get cheated on......


Try this "rule": Tell a girl, that you're seeing, that you don't want to be exclusive and the only rule you have is that she has to date other people.

Then if she asks why, tell her, in so many words, that you like her but you're not looking for a committed relationship, so if she only dates you, she might start to get attached, which wouldn't be a good thing.

Seriously, try it.

Ok, I'm interested in giving this one a shot, but before I do, what do you say is going to happen?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Ok, I'm interested in giving this one a shot, but before I do, what do you say is going to happen?

Well, as long as she's already somewhat into you, her hamster is going to go off the rails. It might work even if she's not that into you. (haven't tried it in that scenario)

I did it a few times when I was younger, to girls that were too needy, I honestly wanted them to give me space. It had the opposite effect. So I stopped saying it to girls I only wanted to date sparingly

Recently, I've been saying it more (I'm moving eventually), so I'm telling them, from the beginning though, I'm not looking for a committed relationship. At first, some of them are cool with it, but eventually, as it's seeming, they can't handle it. Because I'm leaving, and not wanting anything exclusive, they start getting needy and trying to make demands, which I'm not abiding to, I really don't have a choice. Hamster = overdrive.

I'm not trying to make these girls loony, I'm just being up front and honest. But a few of them have turned bat $hit crazy. That saying is like kryptonite to them, I don't recommend it if you're looking for a healthy relationship. But I don't have a choice. I have to be up front with them.

I'm just trying to prove a point. Women work off of emotion, not logic. So in that sense, telling them they can't hang out with other guys isn't going to do $hit except make them hide it from you and/or feel animosity towards you. There are certain cases or instances, where you do need to step in and make a decision though, direct her so to say. However, as a generality, telling her how to feel or what to do, isn't going to have it's desired effect in the long run. She has to want to do it.

 

[In2theGame]

Update****

She was talking business on twitter DM with a guy she didnt know was my friend and told him her boyfriend was ***(40 year old dude). He sent me screen shot.

Meanwhile she was texting me that she misses me and can't wait to see me. I told her:

It's best if we don't talk anymore, she goes why? Can you elaborate? I'm like I don't think it's fair to your boyfriend, good luck with everything.

She goes "lol alright see ya"

That was yesterday and it felt good to have the other options available after that gut feeling. Thanks to everyone for advice and feedback. Don't trust any females.

Let this be a Life lesson. It sucks, I know. Ive been in a similar situation but with experience comes knowledge and next time you will know, That as soon as a girl your dating or GF begins with the "Guy friend" garbage, You dont say anything. Just pack your sh!t up and leave. You see how she said "lol alright see ya" That right there is why you have to be ruthless with women. She basically laughed at you as to say "Hahaha ok cool, im gettin fvcked by the 40yr old anyway...toodles" What disgusts me is she asked "Why" you dont think you two should talk anymore, as if she gives a fvck. When i found out my ex was talking to other guys sexually on secret email accounts... She had the audacity to ask me, why her and i couldnt be friends and how could i just cut her out of my life after 5 years together. lol can you fvcking believe that? Trust me, its good you got hurt now so that way you know to always have your shield up and watch out for these serpents.

 

[bruceartest24]

Let this be a Life lesson. It sucks, I know. Ive been in a similar situation but with experience comes knowledge and next time you will know, That as soon as a girl your dating or GF begins with the "Guy friend" garbage, You dont say anything. Just pack your sh!t up and leave. You see how she said "lol alright see ya" That right there is why you have to be ruthless with women. She basically laughed at you as to say "Hahaha ok cool, im gettin fvcked by the 40yr old anyway...toodles" What disgusts me is she asked "Why" you dont think you two should talk anymore, as if she gives a fvck. When i found out my ex was talking to other guys sexually on secret email accounts... She had the audacity to ask me, why her and i couldnt be friends and how could i just cut her out of my life after 5 years together. lol can you fvcking believe that? Trust me, its good you got hurt now so that way you know to always have your shield up and watch out for these serpents.

That is the crazy part, I thought she would try to explain or give an excuse, lie or something. She just said "lol alright see ya"....like she didnt even care at all.

Live and learn....I'm talking to a 20 year old that is very eager and sexual which is a good thing.

 

[In2theGame]

That is the crazy part, I thought she would try to explain or give an excuse, lie or something. She just said "lol alright see ya"....like she didnt even care at all.

Live and learn....I'm talking to a 20 year old that is very eager and sexual which is a good thing.

It's not crazy, That's how a lot of Women act when they THINK that they have everything in their favor but dont worry, Life always returns the favor in some way shape or form. That is when you have to be careful because if something happens like, The 40yr old guy gets tired of her, or begins treating her like sh!t or if she just gets tired of him or the situation, She might ATTEMPT to contact you to either "apologize" or try to sneak back in your life and i HIGHLY advise you to do two things... you ignore her OR if you feel no emotional attachment (which might be a bit hard) but you talk to her like shes scum because keep the thought in your mind when she said "lol alright see ya".... You tell her... "Why are you contacting me?" She will come up with some garbage excuse to which you reply "I dont see why your contacting me, i thought you were too busy with that guys c0ck in your mouth" .... She will call you a jerk, azzhole or whatever... but thats how you need to talk to her if she contacts you. You seem like a nice guy but when things like this happen, you realize that you have to treat women in a certain way so they know not to BS you.

 

[bruceartest24]

It's not crazy, That's how a lot of Women act when they THINK that they have everything in their favor but dont worry, Life always returns the favor in some way shape or form. That is when you have to be careful because if something happens like, The 40yr old guy gets tired of her, or begins treating her like sh!t or if she just gets tired of him or the situation, She might ATTEMPT to contact you to either "apologize" or try to sneak back in your life and i HIGHLY advise you to do two things... you ignore her OR if you feel no emotional attachment (which might be a bit hard) but you talk to her like shes scum because keep the thought in your mind when she said "lol alright see ya".... You tell her... "Why are you contacting me?" She will come up with some garbage excuse to which you reply "I dont see why your contacting me, i thought you were too busy with that guys c0ck in your mouth" .... She will call you a jerk, azzhole or whatever... but thats how you need to talk to her if she contacts you. You seem like a nice guy but when things like this happen, you realize that you have to treat women in a certain way so they know not to BS you.

I honestly hope she never contacts me again. The fact that she could be dating/fn a 40 year old just shows the type of person she is.

The last time we spoke was when I ended it on Friday and it feels really good. I just want to move on with these new chicks and enjoy myself.

 

[goldengoose]

That is the crazy part, I thought she would try to explain or give an excuse, lie or something. She just said "lol alright see ya"....like she didnt even care at all.

She had this guy locked up for a while, this is why she doesn't care. Women always get the other guy locked up first before they dump. They swing over to the other man without a care in the world. It's a waste of time wanting to gain the interest back because you saw what happened. She had the other guy already as her new boyfriend. Erase her from your life completely.

It's not crazy, That's how a lot of Women act when they THINK that they have everything in their favor but dont worry, Life always returns the favor in some way shape or form. That is when you have to be careful because if something happens like, The 40yr old guy gets tired of her, or begins treating her like sh!t or if she just gets tired of him or the situation, She might ATTEMPT to contact you to either "apologize" or try to sneak back in your life and i HIGHLY advise you to do two things... you ignore her OR if you feel no emotional attachment (which might be a bit hard) but you talk to her like shes scum because keep the thought in your mind when she said "lol alright see ya".... You tell her... "Why are you contacting me?" She will come up with some garbage excuse to which you reply "I dont see why your contacting me, i thought you were too busy with that guys c0ck in your mouth" .... She will call you a jerk, azzhole or whatever... but thats how you need to talk to her if she contacts you. You seem like a nice guy but when things like this happen, you realize that you have to treat women in a certain way so they know not to BS you.

Some good stuff right here. Some of these older guys are betas who buy these younger chicks off. If he's taking pictures of her all the time, that's what betas do to show off they have a girl.