"They make it seem as if I'm about to ruin my own life."
You could be depending on how much like your friends you are as with this they are revealing their own subconscious to you and their own experiences with marriage and because this is what they got they arrogantly or flippantly believe this same fate will happen to you.
That or they are extremely empathic and know you are the same kind of personality as them and highly likely to make their mistakes.
"I wouldn't take it seriously except for the fact that many of them are married and I would assume they know what they are talking about."
Not exactly and I'll tell you why...
You're friends by their own view of marriage are definitely not happy with it.
Presumably you personally would want to be just the opposite.
You'd want to be happy and fulfilled with your partner.
So it then makes sense that if you are going to take any advice to heart it should primarily be that of a happily married couple before unhappily married people ever get a chance to have your ear.
"The common theme seems to be that women will ultimately come to control you in a marriage. One way or another, everyone seems to think it's going to happen. One married friend told me that one day I will look back on the days when I had balls and they "weren't in my wifes' purse".
Here are some other common things I'm hearing: she will always be right and you will always be wrong...even if you say 2+2=4 you are wrong because she said so."
This is mostly a selection process problem. There are halfways logical women out there in the grand sea of irrational women we all have to choose from but the problem is finding those golden needles in the proverbial haystack.
Most guys lack patience and so settle for an irrational tard and are actually surprised when nothing they say is understood or acknowledged properly.
"Sex is basically just marriage bate. She will "own you". Finally, she will enjoy watching you do her bidding because it gives her control."
Depends on the guy.
A woman predatorily checks a man over mentally to see what she can get away with.
If she deems you a docile guy easily manipulated by arbitrary morality's honor codes (that are designed to benefit women) and your own fears of being alone once in a marriage she then being married to the weak beta male can decide to let herself go, get fat, cut her hair short or alternatively stay in shape but begin having many suspiscious girls night outs where you are left wondering where she is at 2a.m.
The end result a beta male or DJ that has reverted to AFC complacency is left with is a parasite rather than a partner and once you are afflicted with a parasite the only thing a sane human being does is everything it takes to get that parasite out of their life from taking cold medication to having a doctor remove it or in the woman's case kicking her to the curb and taking the lesson from the experience that complacency= relationship death for men. As a man you have to be "on" as much as possible or you are fvcked.
"Now, I like to think of myself as a strong male who would walk away from any woman who did these things to me. I know that I don't need to have a woman in order to be happy...but I don't want to go through a divorce at some point to get my life back either. Does marriage really have to be this way? Is it true that the only two choices are to either be a slave or get divorced? I would love to hear some honest opinions."
Its not so much about being a strong man as in being a take no sh!t DJ.
The real strength comes in giving up comfortable routine you've fallen into.
And what I mean is say your married relationship with your wife is just...ok...say everything your friends have said comes true and in a way she's wearing the pants over time but somehow to you it doesn't feel all that overbearing and you've kind of gotten used to wifey's quirks.
You aren't quite as satisfied as you could be as a man but doggonit you just can't bring yourself to betray your wife and the kids by leaving her in a divorce when she hasn't done anything in your mind that is THAT BAD.
See this is where your strength is really tested.
DJ's never settle for good enough or second best, we are in it to win it and have the best most fulfilling life possible and I think that goes for all DJ's from morality brigaders to regular player DJ's and this mindset extends to all forms of relationships be they LTR's or outright marriage.
So if you have this mindset if you think you are worth more than being gradually overtaken and assimilated into your wife's world view then you have to set a mental schedule for yourself during your marriage to honestly question yourself if you are wearing the pants in the marriage or if wifey's taken total control.
If you are all about the DJ mindset you will follow Rollo Tomassi's advice on marriage to keep the anxiety and sexual tension in your marriage going which leads to continued attraction and fear of losing you on your partner's part.
How you accomplish this is always stay in shape and look good to the opposite sex and walk at the first sign wifey is not going to do the same. This is one part of remaining "on".
The other part is to have a life outside of your wife whether it be a regular meetup with your buddies at a certain time and place or whatever you've got to make sure you keep this going and not let her manipulate you out of it over time. The only guys that can be successfully manipulated in such a way are guys that are afraid of losing the only woman who would ever get with them or guys that are so happy with complacency and boring routine they'll meet wifeys demands so as to not rock the boat and risk a fight or losing her in a bitter divorce battle.
So again focus your strength on not becoming a lover of complacency and comfortable routine, always mix things up and keep yourself and your wife on her toes, always let your wife know that she can be replaced via the indirect
message of your enduring confidence and physically fit body and comfortable social demeanor when conversing with all people in her presence.
A man never gets to relax for long in a relationship that he wishes to keep.
In closing though and I'm not joking when I say this make sure you get an airtight prenup before going through with this.
If she pulls some b.s about you not trusting her blah blah blah about not wanting to get one she's a gold digger and you will be an idiot not to next her.
Marriage is a future lottery ticket for most women these days so don't take it lightly.
Again airtight prenup with any woman you decide to marry or the marriage is a no go.
Also ask yourself if you are getting married because you actually want to do it or because you want society's peer pressure to get married to finally be off your back?
If its not that ask yourself if you are getting married because your woman wants to be married and its not something you really want?
Understand that if marriage is not something you really deep down want you do not have to go through with it nor should you.
At the end of the day when the ceremonial ritual is over marriage is just a cold life less government contract forming an unstable corporation between two people, its just a piece of paper but a piece of paper that can lead to financial ruin and epic levels of bitterness and destruction. Simply getting married will not make a relationship any better than it was before getting married and it will not lead to some epiphany of greater awareness.
So do not go down this road lightly. Think hard about it.
