Getting involved with a married woman, big mistake? (Vent)

[CLOONEY]

All of this "a true DJ this, a true DJ that"!! What exactly is a true DJ? Isnt it true that Don Juan Demarco didnt even actually exist? Anyone can seduce and there are plenty of woman out there to seduce!! PLENTY!! If he has morals, he should not go after a married woman, especially if she has kids. If he doesnt have morals and just sees the ends justifying the means, then he should go for it.

 

[prosemont]

Jay, your new analogy was beautiful and actually brought a tear to my eye.

Too bad it's a false analogy.

The fact of the matter is that a woman who is cheating owes a responsibility to her kids. She alone has the AFFIRMATIVE duty to look out for them and their best interests.

The guy who comes along has no duty to her or her kids and, UNLIKE YOUR ANALOGY, is not "in partnership" with her WITH REGARD TO THAT DUTY. In fact, in your analogy, unlike the mother and wife we're talking about, the drug dealer has NO RESPONSIBILITY to those children. It's a false analogy.

Now, does someone have to be desperate and horny to sleep with a married milf? Depends on the guy.

I frankly don't even understand your continuing to raise the issue of desperation -- I think you protest too much. As for me, my cup has always runneth over.

Finally, I can think of no better way for Drex to have cut his teeth than in this situation, especially with the guidance of all his fine brothers here. Being a virgin at the age of 23 (no offense Drex) this would have been just the shock treatment he needs.

 

[NewMan]

Fck what a thread.


What a story.


Well, our young Drex certainly had an experience here.

This chick is an A1 b#tch - I think we all agree No?

Drex owes her nothing - and in fact we should have opened his eyes to see that in fact Drex has been played like a fiddle. This chick did a number on him.

Fact of the matter is, Drex brought this on himself. Drex WANTED TO FVCK HER FROM THE GET GO.

Yeah he did all right.

You don't see him going to lunch and being great friends and talking for hrs with a chick who's 200 lbs do you?

Drex wanted to bag this chick, but the fact of the matter is, he didn't have the closing skills to do it quickly enough. So what happened is, he got emotionally involved.

Anyone with experience should have seen that our young Drex would have fallen for this drama and sh#t hook line and sinker.

He is inexperienced - so didn't know better.

Drex didn't end this relationship - if it was not him it would have been someone else.

Now what's happened is, Drex has got emotional, he's going to cry about losing this B#tch (who doesn't deserve our Drex's time) - She's going to move on quickly and some other punk is going to end up fvcking the sh#t out of her.


Drex should have nailed this chick.

I'm not basing this on morals - and even if I were - her relationship is OVER.


If he bangs her - he'll have some fun - he will see her more for who she is and what she is. He'll feel the responsibility of being with her and her baggage - and all of that drama that comes with it.

He'll relaise pretty fvcking quickly that this is something he doesn't want. Someone elses kids and bills at the tender age of 23.

Her? She will screw him - relaise the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence.

She'll see that Drex is not as good in bed as he is out (no offense) and will get bored quickly (no offense).

She'll move on. She may even go back to her guy, because she this poor b@stard provides for her high maintenance a##.

Drex will survive.

 

[Don Ronny]

No one here has had the balls to say it so I will.

Drex

Your problem is that you are a little pvssy!

Look at you, catchin feelins over this cheating slvt! You shoulda banged her and left her like the hoebag she is.

If I was you I woulda treated her like my personal come-rag and stuck it in her ass when she least expects it, just for fun.

This is why you are a virgin, you are trying to make this a touchy-feely experience when you need to be a dirtier bastard! Get in touch with your animal self and let go of your fears. You are 23 years old... what are you waiting for? The One?

Go out and get laid RIGHT NOW. Find some random fat slvt in the street, take her home and fukk her brains out, Get this out of your system and realize there is nothing to be emotional about.

The emotions come AFTER you turn her into your dirty farm animal, not before.

Here feel free to steal my lines for added flavor..

ME: You like that? Huh?
HER; Yeah! Yeah! YEEAAAAHHH!!
ME: Show me how much you like it you filthy pig. (grabs her nostrils and makes pig noises) Squeal for me b!tch!
HER: (squealing and snorting to climax) OINK!!! OIIINNNKKK!!!
ME: (Slaps ass) Thats what you get for being such a filthy little c0ckwh0re.
HER: Yes papi, PUNISH ME!

and so on...

 

[Drex]

Wow and I thought this thread was going to die away.

I have to say that I thought I had all these "in love" feelings for her but with the help of Matt I have realized that I was only infatuated.

I have a new curveball to this story as well.

She called me today to tell me that her and her husband have not only agreed to seperate for 6 months but that they are both to date other people and test the waters to see if they were meant to be or not. I also left this huge bit of information out of this whole story: They got married before they were even 20 years old and they were not even in an exclusive relationship before they got married, infact, they got married the DAY that SHE asked him to marry her. Then she called up the other 3 guys she was dating at the time and told them she couldnt see them anymore, while he called the women he was seeing as well. I guess after 9-10 years they (at least she) have realized that maybe they did not really take time to find out if they were "the one" for each other before they got married.

Well, she told me that they will be testing the waters with other people and she told me that she understands that I just want to be friends....but that we could "be friends with benefits" if I wanted...

I didnt really reply to this and told her I had to get ready for work. Well should I still keep things at a strictly frienship level or should I f*ck her now, knowing that I WILL NOT get attached? Her and her husband agreeing to date other people kind of changes things a little, doesnt it?

I havent made a decision, little confused still.

Oh, she also told me that I was the most amazing kisser she's ever experienced and that there is absoluately no way that I have only kissed 2 girls before her (what I told her)....little does she know, I've never even made out with another woman until her. All I did was take advice from reading "kissing" threads from this board. What I focused on was following her lead but making it look like I was doing the work, and using my hands. Magic!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Yes Drex, this drama is continuing and getting juicer. You are taking everything she states at face value and she knows that is what you want to hear. You already stated to her that a divorce was required for you to boink her but she knows that a man's sexual desire for a woman weakens his resolve and his mental state.

I think she knows u r a virgin/inexperienced and this makes her seduction efforts stronger. She really wants you bad!!!!!! And I know you can taste it and are tempted to pounce on her to rid yourself from this sexual longing and anticipation.

Don't let anyone here determine your actions, this is something for you to decide! Whatever you do, don't get her pregnant and destroy your life! And don't get emotional and 'lovy dovy' with her!

 

[Drex]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Whatever you do, don't get her pregnant and destroy your life! And don't get emotional and 'lovy dovy' with her!

Neither would happen, that's for sure.

 

[dietzcoi]

Don't be so sure that she would not get pregnant or you would fall in love!

I am worried about you. This sounds like a disaster in the making. You already know what she is... being separated changes nothing.

When I was first separated I dated a woman who was newly separated. What a head case! Wanted to move in with me, etc... exactly what I did not want! She tried to follow

Luckily she went back to her AFC husband. Close call for me!

She just was looking for another new chump to take care of her. THis woman seems the same.

I still stick to my advice... RUN AWAY. You do not need this and you do not have the experience or state of mind to avoid the pitfalls.

Don't day we did not warn you

Dietzcoi

 

[WestCoaster]

Drex, she wants to use you, then discard

She was dating THREE GUYS and her future husband at the same time?! Oh, she's an f'n winner.

Look, her "with benefits" line is a line to get you roped in.

OK, spend a day with her AND her kids to get a gist of what she's trying to rope you into. When I was your age, I met a few single mommy's looking for a daddy -- and yes they were older than me.

She's playing on your lack of experience, and your lack of experience is just glaring in bold letters right now. She sees a sucker. First off, you trust what she says WAY too much.

Yes, she'd conviently "forget" her birth control.

Yes, she wants you to take care of her kids -- being a single mom is not easy.

Yes, you're the rebound guy and she'd move on to someone else in two seconds if you didn't work out.

The fact that she was dating three guys just before getting engaged shows incredible immaturity. Dating patterns before marriage reflect relationship patterns in marriage, IMO. There's an ENORMOUS myth in America that people change once they walk down the aisle. B.S. Change rarely happens in people and it takes years, and usually through self-reflection and/or intense therapy. Look at all these stupid American women who try to change their husbands, when in reality they know it's not going to happen.

Others here will tell you to get a quick hit and leave. It's not that simple. You'd become attatched to her, I can tell by your posts. She wants to use you, period. Women USE men, learn that, know that, get used to it.

Quit thinking the sun rises or sets on her a$$. She's a worthless American woman who wants to use you.

 

[Matt ala Casanova]

Originally posted by prosemont


I frankly don't even understand your continuing to raise the issue of desperation -- I think you protest too much. As for me, my cup has always runneth over.

Prose,

You've given good advice, but you are coming across as an elitist, or you know exactly what Drex needs to do. A DJ is a seducer yes, but he also has certain rules, guidelines that make him such a great seducer. There are a million women to screw so pursuing a married one just for the sake of adding a notch is not the way of a DJ. So yes I put myself out on a limb by saying that but I am a DJ, who has been a part of the way the DJ bible has been molded and a DJ who is respected here as a DJ.

Not to beat my chest but I know Drex personally, and this particular situation is not in his best interest.

M.A.C.

 

[prosemont]

Yes, she is a worthless ZERO integrity woman.

I think she actually wants to deflower you Drex. I, too, think she is USING you ... for her own ego trip, for a happy diversion, for the sex, to put a notch on her belt that she's deflowered a virgin (yes, she knows believe me), to give herself a reason to leave her husband, to make him jealous, to see how much she can "play" a young inexperienced dude, perhaps even as a pity fvck for someone who is sho inexperienced or to be your own personal sexual instructor, and on and on.

YOU SHOULD USE HER: fvck her three times making sure you wrap it and then bolt and never talk to her again.

THAT would be poetic justice.

Then use your "DJ" power of self control over your emotions to objectify her and prevent yourself from being infatuated with this loser or contacting her again. If you were able to do this it would bring you from neophyte to jedi knight.

Edit: Just saw MAC's post. Your point is taken; except, however, I'm not an elitist -- that statement about my cup runneth over was to respond to the ridiculous assertion that if one fvcks a married woman one must therefore be desperate.

I'm no elitist, I'm a realist who sees a young guy who at his age has ZERO experience with women and a situation has presented itself to him that would, in my very humble opinion, raise his experience level SEVERAL levels upon what it is now.
Here are the facts: we have Drex here who, for whatever reason, is 23 years old and has JUST kissed his first woman (or did I misread that?) and has never had sex with one. He also knows intellectually what this viper is up to and has received great advice from EVERYONE here even if that advice is wholly contradictory, it's is ALL good because it adds to his understanding of the situation and the perils and pitfalls of it. He has this band of brothers online and YOU in person to set him straight should he begin to falter. Now, you know him in person and maybe this definitely wouldn't be the right thing for him to do or maybe you're coddling him and underestimate him.

The fact is ... he's ALREADY involved with this woman. That's not going away. He's ALREADY IGNORED your advice to keep away from her and now he's justifying to himself the parameters of what he should do. So ... I'm of the belief here that he should just DO IT already and in an empowered way. Otherwise, in part, he'll yearn and pine and be full of regrets that he did not and the REASON that he didn't was that he couldn't handle the situation and that all his sosuave brothers thought he was too weak to handle it (which may be true).

He's going to stay involved with this woman. You can see that. Instead of being on the defense with it, why not teach him how to go offense.

Just my thoughts. I can see all of the very valid points everyone else has written here and I'm happy to present the "dissenting" view.

Finally, the more I read about this woman, the more I see how little regard she gives to her marriage, her commitments, and her child(ren). Why should we give women like this any greater regard than they give themselves?

 

[Matt ala Casanova]

Prose,

I'm glad you could take my point and not get bent on it.

I know Drex has overlooked some of my advice, and he has been scolded on it, he knows this. I've given him personal advice, and in the end, like I've told him, he is his own man and will do as he wishes. Don't get me wrong, this type of woman is the type that I would fvck in a$$ and cvm all over her face then tell her to go back to her hubby. I've done it and have treated girls like that in the past. Do I regret it....nah. However, Drex is in the situation where he works with this ho and is in the process of forming a relationship with another girl at the same place. These two are actually friends, in a way. Now if he fvcks little miss MILF, he will lose all chances with developing a relationship with this other chick. That's just how I see the cookie crumbling. I'm confident that it will happen like this because even if her goal is to deflower him, she has already shown she is already unstable and almost possessive, so she will spill something or make him look like $hit with this other girl whom he is doing a fantastic job DJing.

I just see it turning out to be a bad situation, hell....if this was any other situation, I may say Drex, go for it. But as a DJ, this is my advice and that is to stay clear of her.

M.A.C.

 

[WestCoaster]

Agree with Prosemont on this

I don't agree with much of his premise on this topic, but this was one helluva quote:

**************
Finally, the more I read about this woman, the more I see how little regard she gives to her marriage, her commitments, and her child(ren). Why should we give women like this any greater regard than they give themselves?

**************************

If possible, DON'T DATE WHITE AMERICAN WOMEN!

 

[Drex]

Re: Drex, she wants to use you, then discard

Originally posted by WestCoaster
Look, her "with benefits" line is a line to get you roped in.

OK, spend a day with her AND her kids to get a gist of what she's trying to rope you into.

She is definately not trying to rope me into being the new father of her kids. She is just infatuated with me and I think she just wants to have her fun with me before she goes back to her husband.

She's playing on your lack of experience, and your lack of experience is just glaring in bold letters right now.

Apparently she thinks I am way more experienced than I told her I am. She kept stopping and pulling back when we were kissing and saying "there is NO way you have only been with 2 girls."

Others here will tell you to get a quick hit and leave. It's not that simple. You'd become attatched to her, I can tell by your posts. She wants to use you, period. Women USE men, learn that, know that, get used to it.

Honestly, early in this thread I was all emotional about her but that has changed drastically. I still like her as a friend but if she were to "use" me for sex and then drop me I wouldnt dwell on it for more than a minute. I've already gotten over her, way over her.

YOU SHOULD USE HER: fvck her three times making sure you wrap it and then bolt and never talk to her again.

Not that easy as I still work with her.

These two are actually friends, in a way. Now if he fvcks little miss MILF, he will lose all chances with developing a relationship with this other chick. That's just how I see the cookie crumbling. I'm confident that it will happen like this because even if her goal is to deflower him, she has already shown she is already unstable and almost possessive, so she will spill something or make him look like $hit with this other girl whom he is doing a fantastic job DJing.

That is the only thing I am slightly worried about at this point. I mean she KNOWS that nothing she does is going to stop me from dating her (the new girl). She's sworn to me a million times that she understands the situation I am in and that she will not interfeir in any way. All she asked me to do was to not intentionally flirt with this new girl infront of her, as she would be extremely hurt seeing it. I think she just wants to take what she can get, and she knows that I drew the line at friendship and that I wont date her, so maybe she just wants to squeeze in the "friends with benefits" just because it's better than nothing?

 

[NewMan]

I'm confident that it will happen like this because even if her goal is to deflower him, she has already shown she is already unstable and almost possessive, so she will spill something or make him look like $hit with this other girl whom he is doing a fantastic job DJing.

I just see it turning out to be a bad situation, hell....if this was any other situation, I may say Drex, go for it. But as a DJ, this is my advice and that is to stay clear of her.

*****

not that I'm saying it's wrong....

But Matt, didn't you tell him to practice his DJ skills on her in the first place?

Drex is a virgin - only kissed 1 other woman - that was a way bad move.

We talked about cheating and morals - but in reality as soon as Drex started DJ'ing this MARRIED woman - it is to late to get Morales and tell him not to fvck her.

The damage was done.

If we want to get moralistic, then he shouldn't have started DJing this chick to begin with.

To late anyways.

You know she's worthless.

Fvck her.

Who gives a sh#t what she wants? it's about you. She's hot, she got experience - use her.

Don't get roped in. Keep it purly physical.

Use protection ALWAYS.

Have fun.