Getting involved with a married woman, big mistake? (Vent)
- Thread starter Drex
- Start date
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
You are playing with fire, and you are going to get severely burned! This is a dangerous woman! Do not talk to her anymore! Save yourself now!
She just called me. First thing she says is "you told me last night that I would regret it in the morning right? Well the only thing I regret is NOT kissing you."
Then she goes on to tell me that no guy has EVER shot her down before like I did and that I gave her a complex, I may never get a chance like that again, blah blah.
Then she says "maybe if you are a really bad kisser I wont like you so much anymore."
I'm so confused. I want her so bad but I think I would feel too guilty. I mean I know her husband and he is not a bad guy, he has his temper with her but overall he really loves her. She is just not attracted to him anymore ("he's let himself go") and overall just unhappy with her marraige. She told me last night that it was like this before she met me anyways. So I tried telling her that she will find another man that she is happy with but that she should seperate before she cheats. She tells me she already found another man but that it wouldnt be right for me because she does not think she'd want to marry again or have more kids. So I'm like "woooah hold on there you're getting ahead of yourself."
I wish she would make up her mind, about SOMETHING.
Then she goes on to tell me that no guy has EVER shot her down before like I did and that I gave her a complex, I may never get a chance like that again, blah blah.
Then she says "maybe if you are a really bad kisser I wont like you so much anymore."
I'm so confused. I want her so bad but I think I would feel too guilty. I mean I know her husband and he is not a bad guy, he has his temper with her but overall he really loves her. She is just not attracted to him anymore ("he's let himself go") and overall just unhappy with her marraige. She told me last night that it was like this before she met me anyways. So I tried telling her that she will find another man that she is happy with but that she should seperate before she cheats. She tells me she already found another man but that it wouldnt be right for me because she does not think she'd want to marry again or have more kids. So I'm like "woooah hold on there you're getting ahead of yourself."
I wish she would make up her mind, about SOMETHING.
Matt ala Casanova
Master Don Juan
Ok time for me to interject here. Scott, as a good friend of yours and a person that I think to be my protege, I think you need to take my advice seriously. This woman is the typical chick that finds herself within a marriage that has turned into a relationship of convenience. She is happy in her marriage but all is not well. I can almost guarantee that the sex in her marriage has nearly diminished, so she is seeking it somewhere else. She is trying to find a reason to dissolve her marriage. I can almost imagine that if she f-cks that she will drop you and find another chump as well or maybe she already has! The demise of her marriage is coming soon.
The drunken lust in her eyes is great but I fear she is probably closet psycho in some sick way. She is trying to be obsessive, and control your actions…umm who the hell does she think she is? Scott, add a 100 pounds to this chick and give her the same aspects about her, would you be attracted to her? No I know this for fact. The reason why you are so involved with her is because you like the eye candy, the personality is that of a friend. You like her because you can chum it up with her and that to you is important. Now factor that she is good to look at and you are lured in like a chump.
Now lets put things into perspective for you. You’ve met my main girl, you’ve said she is attractive; you get along with her well, so on. Now lets say M.A.C. turns into a a-hole and things go bad. You two find each other hanging out more often and she comes to you one day and says Drex, I know you and M.A.C. friends but I want to f-ck the $hit out of you, no one will ever find out. Now you got attraction, desire, a sense of friendship, etc. I know you would not go there with her because you know 1. I would probably hunt you down and make you into a foot stool and 2. You and I have a friendship and you wouldn’t do that to me. The point I am making is you need to take a good look at this situation; you’re going to do what you want to do but be smart about it. This chick wants you more than ANY other chick has EVER wanted you. You have NEVER been in this situation before! You need to cut the $hit literally! This girl WILL try to sabotage the relationship in progress with this other chick. You can bet your friendship with me that she will. She will do this because you will not give her a reason to leave her husband. She is drunk with desire not just to f-ck you but to find something new and fresh. She will go to great lengths to find this too. Even turn people against you.
Go on this date on Sunday; don’t even bring up the married chick. Have a good time and do as you wish with this girl. You’ve DJ’d her enough that she likes you. You’ve said it yourself, “Matt I think she is out of my league!” You have raised your skills as a DJ and you got a girl that is very good looking to desire you. You did this by being smart about the things you say, do and show. I would like to think that some of your actions are a reflection of me so I take some responsibility in this endeavor. So this married chick could be a tiny bit my fault to, I think I even told you to practice on her. Well sorry bud, you did a dam good job at it, now acquire a new target.
Now as far as the married chick is concerned, I want you to set up a time to see her again. Go to some place public and explain to her that you are having a moral issue about things. Tell her that you cannot and will not pursue her and if you have given her that message in the past then you are sorry. As a DJ, this will literally kill all chances with a chick. Yes I even know how to commit relationship suicide. Chicks across the board hate it when you mention the word Moral! They think it is wrong and dirty. Most will agree, some it takes a few days but they get the point overall. DO NOT flirt and act all buddy buddy with her that night, just strict business.
You have to severe your ties with her slowly. This is the only course of action you can take short of leaving your job. And do not even think about leaving that place!
Ok Drex, this is my response, take it and please use it.
Your Mentor and friend!
M.A.C.
The drunken lust in her eyes is great but I fear she is probably closet psycho in some sick way. She is trying to be obsessive, and control your actions…umm who the hell does she think she is? Scott, add a 100 pounds to this chick and give her the same aspects about her, would you be attracted to her? No I know this for fact. The reason why you are so involved with her is because you like the eye candy, the personality is that of a friend. You like her because you can chum it up with her and that to you is important. Now factor that she is good to look at and you are lured in like a chump.
Now lets put things into perspective for you. You’ve met my main girl, you’ve said she is attractive; you get along with her well, so on. Now lets say M.A.C. turns into a a-hole and things go bad. You two find each other hanging out more often and she comes to you one day and says Drex, I know you and M.A.C. friends but I want to f-ck the $hit out of you, no one will ever find out. Now you got attraction, desire, a sense of friendship, etc. I know you would not go there with her because you know 1. I would probably hunt you down and make you into a foot stool and 2. You and I have a friendship and you wouldn’t do that to me. The point I am making is you need to take a good look at this situation; you’re going to do what you want to do but be smart about it. This chick wants you more than ANY other chick has EVER wanted you. You have NEVER been in this situation before! You need to cut the $hit literally! This girl WILL try to sabotage the relationship in progress with this other chick. You can bet your friendship with me that she will. She will do this because you will not give her a reason to leave her husband. She is drunk with desire not just to f-ck you but to find something new and fresh. She will go to great lengths to find this too. Even turn people against you.
Go on this date on Sunday; don’t even bring up the married chick. Have a good time and do as you wish with this girl. You’ve DJ’d her enough that she likes you. You’ve said it yourself, “Matt I think she is out of my league!” You have raised your skills as a DJ and you got a girl that is very good looking to desire you. You did this by being smart about the things you say, do and show. I would like to think that some of your actions are a reflection of me so I take some responsibility in this endeavor. So this married chick could be a tiny bit my fault to, I think I even told you to practice on her. Well sorry bud, you did a dam good job at it, now acquire a new target.
Now as far as the married chick is concerned, I want you to set up a time to see her again. Go to some place public and explain to her that you are having a moral issue about things. Tell her that you cannot and will not pursue her and if you have given her that message in the past then you are sorry. As a DJ, this will literally kill all chances with a chick. Yes I even know how to commit relationship suicide. Chicks across the board hate it when you mention the word Moral! They think it is wrong and dirty. Most will agree, some it takes a few days but they get the point overall. DO NOT flirt and act all buddy buddy with her that night, just strict business.
You have to severe your ties with her slowly. This is the only course of action you can take short of leaving your job. And do not even think about leaving that place!
Ok Drex, this is my response, take it and please use it.
Your Mentor and friend!
M.A.C.
Sh*t guys dont hate me and Matt I'm sorry cause I just made out with her. God damn she's just too irresistable and I hate her for it! She was calling me chicken sh*t ALL NIGHT because I did not kiss her last night. This made me very pissed off and made me want to prove to her that I was not scared. Well I proved it to her alright...
Thank GOD she did not try and take it further. She had her shirt open and her hands on my package but that's as far as it went other than the hardcore making out we did for 30 minutes straight in her car.
Thankfully I am not going to see her or talk to her for 2 weeks now. As I am going on vacation next weekend and she only works weekends.
I called her afterwards while we were both driving home and she insisted that she's fine and that she's going to have no problem not telling her husband. I sure hope so. We agreed that we were not going to talk or see each other for at least 2 weeks. Hopefully she gets over me in that time and vise versa.
I just pray she does not tell her husband because this guy is HUGE and would probably kill me with 1 punch. That and I would just feel so bad for him because he's such a cool guy. I hope she just forgets about me and forgets about tonight.
Oh she also told me she's not just falling for me but that she is in fact in love with me. Yet she still wont leave her husband. Not that I really want her to but I dont understand how she could be in love and not want to leave him. So I told her she was only infatuated but she disagreed.
Sorry everything is so broken up in fragments tonight, it's really late and I'm just thinking way too much to make this post more understandable.
I cant stop thinking about her LIPS!!! And I have a f*cking date in 12 hours with the girl that works side by side with her. AAHHHHH!!!!
Thank GOD she did not try and take it further. She had her shirt open and her hands on my package but that's as far as it went other than the hardcore making out we did for 30 minutes straight in her car.
Thankfully I am not going to see her or talk to her for 2 weeks now. As I am going on vacation next weekend and she only works weekends.
I called her afterwards while we were both driving home and she insisted that she's fine and that she's going to have no problem not telling her husband. I sure hope so. We agreed that we were not going to talk or see each other for at least 2 weeks. Hopefully she gets over me in that time and vise versa.
I just pray she does not tell her husband because this guy is HUGE and would probably kill me with 1 punch. That and I would just feel so bad for him because he's such a cool guy. I hope she just forgets about me and forgets about tonight.
Oh she also told me she's not just falling for me but that she is in fact in love with me. Yet she still wont leave her husband. Not that I really want her to but I dont understand how she could be in love and not want to leave him. So I told her she was only infatuated but she disagreed.
Sorry everything is so broken up in fragments tonight, it's really late and I'm just thinking way too much to make this post more understandable.
I cant stop thinking about her LIPS!!! And I have a f*cking date in 12 hours with the girl that works side by side with her. AAHHHHH!!!!
Also I hope her kissing me will not make her feel worse about her marraige. I mean if she is already "in love" with me then a kiss isnt going to really change things right? It was just a (30 min long) kiss...Is her kissing me any more considerred cheating than her being in love/infatuated? She didnt have sex with me. . .
Matt ala Casanova
Master Don Juan
Good luck Drex, you are on your own for now. I gave you pretty strict advice and you didn't bother to listen, in fact I told you exactly what to do.
The reason why I am upset with you is you went against a cardinal rule, as a DJ and as my friend. You don't fvck with married chicks! You wouldn't want it done to you and I certainly wouldn't want it done to me.
Just for the record, my mentoring you should of taught you to be more responsible. If this guy who you think is so cool, catches wind of this, he is going to bust you fvcking grill, you bet your a$$ on this! And to be honest, I would do the same!!
~Goodluck on your own~
M.A.C.
Genghis Juan
Senior Don Juan
Listen to PRL and MAC; end this ASAP.
You are only going to get burned. The further your involvment with her, the more dangerous the inevitable ending will become. You really put yourself in a quagmire because you work with her too. You also broke a cardinal DJ rule, which states to not become involved with someone else's GF or Wife. Plus, why would other DJ's want to be your friend knowing that you got involved with some guy's wife? Not very respectful, I don't care how much the wife is begging you for it. She is playing you like a jukebox.
You are only going to get burned. The further your involvment with her, the more dangerous the inevitable ending will become. You really put yourself in a quagmire because you work with her too. You also broke a cardinal DJ rule, which states to not become involved with someone else's GF or Wife. Plus, why would other DJ's want to be your friend knowing that you got involved with some guy's wife? Not very respectful, I don't care how much the wife is begging you for it. She is playing you like a jukebox.
Peace and Quiet
If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.
Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.
This will quickly drive all women away from you.
And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.
You did but you have to understand that we see each other at work and that the feelings are so strong. Anyways like I said last night we agreed not to talk or see each other again for at least 2 weeks.
Well she called this morning 3 times asking me to go and see her today and I said no. It's seriously done now and if I ever do see her again it will only be when I think that she can handle just being a friend again.
Done.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
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You said she would NEVER cheat!!
God, will you please not believe everything a woman tells you. She just did cheat on her husband. Cheating is kissing and fondling, it doesn't have to be intercourse. If it's A-OK, why don't you clear it with her husband?
You said she would never, ever, ever cheat. Well, she just did, which means if she was yours, she'd cheat on you.
Hellllllloooooooooo ... tell me again why you should ever take an American woman at her word.
Now da-nit, you're 23 so go out there and date some SINGLE HOTTIES your age.
And I don't care about the stupid details of this slimey trailer-trash romance you two sucky-faces have --- she's preventing you from dating the people you should be zeroing in on.
Quit being a moron and wean yourself from this sl-t.
God, will you please not believe everything a woman tells you. She just did cheat on her husband. Cheating is kissing and fondling, it doesn't have to be intercourse. If it's A-OK, why don't you clear it with her husband?
You said she would never, ever, ever cheat. Well, she just did, which means if she was yours, she'd cheat on you.
Hellllllloooooooooo ... tell me again why you should ever take an American woman at her word.
Now da-nit, you're 23 so go out there and date some SINGLE HOTTIES your age.
And I don't care about the stupid details of this slimey trailer-trash romance you two sucky-faces have --- she's preventing you from dating the people you should be zeroing in on.
Quit being a moron and wean yourself from this sl-t.
Re: You said she would NEVER cheat!!
You guys are right, mostly. I was oblivious and I admit being wrong. She also told her husband about us today and then called me to tell me this. She said he knew something was up because of the way she's been distant from him the past few days. She said she told him and he really didnt even respond. Gave her a hug and kept working around the house...weird. She said that he really did not even seem to care when she told him about us... So she called me back and asked me if I could love her and take care of her if she left her husband!!!
I'm like, yea I could probably love you but that would take some time but I most certainly cannot take care of you at this point in my life. I still need a career and more of an income for that. Then her husband came back home so she had to hang up and that was that. I'm glad she hasnt called back since.
Drove her back to where we met and well I sort of pussied out on the kiss close because I am completely oblvivious with women and I never know what they think of me. So she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and on my way home she text messaged me "You owe me a real kiss!" so I said "ok well turn around and I'll give you one" she's like "My sister just called and I'm kind of in a bind to go and find her so I will take a rain check, but it better be before you leave town on vacation on thursday!" So I said "Well then you better keep your night open on wednesday if you want to cash that check." and she replies "ok I will!"
So I'm movin on guys, sorry to dissapoint about the married chick.
You guys are right, mostly. I was oblivious and I admit being wrong. She also told her husband about us today and then called me to tell me this. She said he knew something was up because of the way she's been distant from him the past few days. She said she told him and he really didnt even respond. Gave her a hug and kept working around the house...weird. She said that he really did not even seem to care when she told him about us... So she called me back and asked me if I could love her and take care of her if she left her husband!!!
I'm like, yea I could probably love you but that would take some time but I most certainly cannot take care of you at this point in my life. I still need a career and more of an income for that. Then her husband came back home so she had to hang up and that was that. I'm glad she hasnt called back since.
I just did! We went to Boston for dinner and ended up getting lost in the city for like 45 minutes (EFFIN DETOURS!). At first I thought I was blowing it...we went to one part of the city that I've never been to before that is usually a hoppin place (so i've heard) but it was DEAD. So we left and got lost for a while and I ended up taking her to a really upscale restaurant in the bussiness district. Our meal was great and we ended up talking so long that we were the last customers in the building! She INSISTED on paying but it was a really high tab so I made her take a $50 from me in turn. She is very classy.
Drove her back to where we met and well I sort of pussied out on the kiss close because I am completely oblvivious with women and I never know what they think of me. So she gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and on my way home she text messaged me "You owe me a real kiss!" so I said "ok well turn around and I'll give you one" she's like "My sister just called and I'm kind of in a bind to go and find her so I will take a rain check, but it better be before you leave town on vacation on thursday!" So I said "Well then you better keep your night open on wednesday if you want to cash that check." and she replies "ok I will!"
So I'm movin on guys, sorry to dissapoint about the married chick.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
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Good job -- way to move on
She's trying to paint a bad picture of her husband. Not sure how he's supposed to react, but either way she has him in a can't win situation. If he would've gotten mad she would've complained, if he would've understood she'd label him a wimp, etc. Women can be mean and twisted.
Tell her in no way, shape, or form would you be there for her if her husband leaves her. Trust me, this woman is sneaky, crafty, and devious.
You got out of this fairly lucky, it could've been much worse, i.e., psycho husband ready to hunt you down.
Trust me on this, she WILL cheat down the road on someone. Just make sure it's not you.
Props to you for getting a date with a single woman who doesn't have baggage! Take that and run with it.
She's trying to paint a bad picture of her husband. Not sure how he's supposed to react, but either way she has him in a can't win situation. If he would've gotten mad she would've complained, if he would've understood she'd label him a wimp, etc. Women can be mean and twisted.
Tell her in no way, shape, or form would you be there for her if her husband leaves her. Trust me, this woman is sneaky, crafty, and devious.
You got out of this fairly lucky, it could've been much worse, i.e., psycho husband ready to hunt you down.
Trust me on this, she WILL cheat down the road on someone. Just make sure it's not you.
Props to you for getting a date with a single woman who doesn't have baggage! Take that and run with it.
It's just so much harder to just drop her and forget about her due to the fact that we were BEST FRIENDS for a long time. We talked on the phone for HOURS every day. She was really the only person I have ever felt 100% at ease with. I have seriously never in my life felt so comfortable with someone as I did with her. Where I could just do or say ANYTHING without having to think first at whether I was saying the right thing or not.
I really do care about her, a LOT, still. And I would really love to stay in touch with her as a friend. I think she just needs time away from me first. It's just too hard to lose her completely in an instant.
Also I cannot agree that she would cheat on me if we were to end up together. The problem is that she tries SO hard to stay in shape and absolutely stunning for her husband. I mean she's drop dead gorgeous and she does not even put an ounce of makeup on her face. Meanwhile her husband is pretty much letting himself go and not caring to keep himself very attractive for her. She's very physically demanding (she LOVES sex) and he's just not pleasing her anymore.
Put yourself in that position. You are extremely attractive and you know that you can have any woman you want. Meanwhile your once beautiful girlfriend/wife has let herself go to the point where you are not attracted to her anymore...are you supposed to deal with it for the rest of your life even though you try so hard to keep yourself in shape and your spouse does nothing?
I really do care about her, a LOT, still. And I would really love to stay in touch with her as a friend. I think she just needs time away from me first. It's just too hard to lose her completely in an instant.
Also I cannot agree that she would cheat on me if we were to end up together. The problem is that she tries SO hard to stay in shape and absolutely stunning for her husband. I mean she's drop dead gorgeous and she does not even put an ounce of makeup on her face. Meanwhile her husband is pretty much letting himself go and not caring to keep himself very attractive for her. She's very physically demanding (she LOVES sex) and he's just not pleasing her anymore.
Put yourself in that position. You are extremely attractive and you know that you can have any woman you want. Meanwhile your once beautiful girlfriend/wife has let herself go to the point where you are not attracted to her anymore...are you supposed to deal with it for the rest of your life even though you try so hard to keep yourself in shape and your spouse does nothing?
Dell SkyCat
Senior Don Juan
The measure of your delusion is INCREDIBLE! But I am not going to cast any stones to you because I am not without sin. I sense 3 things at work here...
1. Ego
2. Ego
3. Ego
This isn't the end of the world. Just be freakin honest though, at least with yourself. Did you know how Samson was 'seduced' by Dalilah? Damn this just reminds me how weak and chumps us men really are. Well... maybe not ALL of us
Matt ala Casanova
Master Don Juan
Re: Re: You said she would NEVER cheat!!
He's pissed, didn't want to hit her and is plotting how he is going to confront you on this. He knows where you work! Walk with a big stick!!
Scott - she's cheated on her husband with you, now you need to be a man and drop contact with her. Are you happy now that you have probally brought the demise of a marraige? Stop talking to her, accepting phone calls and going out with her.
Karma sucks - and pay back is always a b!tch.
M.A.C.
If my girl told me this and I acted like that, it equals this.
He's pissed, didn't want to hit her and is plotting how he is going to confront you on this. He knows where you work! Walk with a big stick!!
Scott - she's cheated on her husband with you, now you need to be a man and drop contact with her. Are you happy now that you have probally brought the demise of a marraige? Stop talking to her, accepting phone calls and going out with her.
Karma sucks - and pay back is always a b!tch.
M.A.C.
ha ha ha ha. She told her husband about you? ha ha ha. That's because THERE IS NOTHING TO TELL. You haven't DONE anything with her. You're her little platonic hanger-on. No wonder he's not worried about it -- he's taken one look at you and he KNOWS you're not banging his wife and that she's just trying to get him jealous. ha ha ha.
You're cracking me up over here. Let me ask you this: if you were banging the bejesus out of this woman, do you really think she'd tell her husband? (If the answer to that is yes, then eject asap.) But, most likely that answer would be no unless this is just some psycho chick.
You're cracking me up over here. Let me ask you this: if you were banging the bejesus out of this woman, do you really think she'd tell her husband? (If the answer to that is yes, then eject asap.) But, most likely that answer would be no unless this is just some psycho chick.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
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- May 8, 2003
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Naivate is a killer
Being naive -- which this board helps eliminate -- is a killer.
Any man who has read the DJ bible, tips, Hall of Fame, articles, should know better than to what Drex got into. And I could care less how hot she is. There are hotties in every town on every corner. My guess is this was one of his first flings with a woman and his dating history is spotty.
I've dated a 9.5 off and on this year, but she was so flakey we just became friends. Her looks upside didn't overcome her flake downside. I've gravitated towards "cute" which is better.
Watch your back Drex.
Buy the way, quit giving this sl-t props. She's a spoiled, rich, American, beyotch.
Being naive -- which this board helps eliminate -- is a killer.
Any man who has read the DJ bible, tips, Hall of Fame, articles, should know better than to what Drex got into. And I could care less how hot she is. There are hotties in every town on every corner. My guess is this was one of his first flings with a woman and his dating history is spotty.
I've dated a 9.5 off and on this year, but she was so flakey we just became friends. Her looks upside didn't overcome her flake downside. I've gravitated towards "cute" which is better.
Watch your back Drex.
Buy the way, quit giving this sl-t props. She's a spoiled, rich, American, beyotch.
Matt ala Casanova
Master Don Juan
I'm almost thinking that she lied to him about telling her husband. Just to get a reaction out of Drex!
Tricky trick!
M.A.C.
Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.