Guys, I am talking about girls who are REAL HOT!! The ones who get guys hitting on them EVERYWHERE they go. They are constantly being whistled at, stared at, and guys smiling and even worse APPROACHING THEM!! How do you handle it? Honestly I really get pis*ed off sometimes, they are just constantly getting harrassed and when the girl keeps telling you about guys doing it, does it make you feel frustrated. But then if she stops telling me about guys, I start to wonder why she isnt mentioning them anymore. Any of you guys experience this? And how did you deal with it? What were your results?
For those with past or present HB 9 or above girlfriends...?
- Thread starter CLOONEY
- Start date
I think you need more confidence in yourself.
What do you care if some AFC hits on your girlfriend. Personally I find it flattering that other guys want my girl.
I give them ample opportunity to try, and if they succeed, they are better than I am, and thus more deserving of her.
My ex was a HB9, and knew that I was THE prize, and that it would take a very GOOD man to steal her. But she was the one who constantly have to check on me. I think you should frame the relationship in the same way.
You have to frame it so that you don't care about her being hit on, because if she leaves it would be her loss (and it is). When you frame it as such, chicks would be seeing the confidence that you have, and will be turned on/hanging around etc.
if you are constantly insecure about guys hitting on your girl, it gives off the vibe that you are not USED to going out with hot chicks, and thus will be interpreted as BETA characteristic, and thus will decrease your attractiveness in her eyes.
What do you care if some AFC hits on your girlfriend. Personally I find it flattering that other guys want my girl.
I give them ample opportunity to try, and if they succeed, they are better than I am, and thus more deserving of her.
My ex was a HB9, and knew that I was THE prize, and that it would take a very GOOD man to steal her. But she was the one who constantly have to check on me. I think you should frame the relationship in the same way.
You have to frame it so that you don't care about her being hit on, because if she leaves it would be her loss (and it is). When you frame it as such, chicks would be seeing the confidence that you have, and will be turned on/hanging around etc.
if you are constantly insecure about guys hitting on your girl, it gives off the vibe that you are not USED to going out with hot chicks, and thus will be interpreted as BETA characteristic, and thus will decrease your attractiveness in her eyes.
Sometimes my girlfriend tells me about it and sometimes not. I don't really give a crap, I actually kind of find it funny sometimes. The only time we had a problem was when a guy grabbed her ass in a bar after she had told him to leave her alone. Spent a couple hours with the cops after that one.
Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
It's very easy to pretend that you don't care about other men hitting on your HB girlfriend, but it's difficult to actually *not* care. Most men cannot be in love with a woman, while at the same time not care whether she stays or goes. Put simply, love often breeds insecurity and dependency.
Only a man who is honest with himself can achieve the simultaneous state of love with a woman and yet not care if she leaves him. Honesty is critical because another man will be able to take your woman away from you under only two circumstances: (1) he is a better man than you, and you should spend more time improving yourself and becoming the "great catch" who has no competition, or (2) if you are the "great catch," your woman is not worthy of your time and attention because she was easily distracted by another man who is not your equal. In either circumstance, honesty with yourself will allow you to recognize your shortcomings or your woman's shortcomings.
If you are the best, you deserve the best. If you're not the best, it's your job to become the best so that you are secure in your own mind. Women, even HB women, come and go, but "to thine ownself be true."
Only a man who is honest with himself can achieve the simultaneous state of love with a woman and yet not care if she leaves him. Honesty is critical because another man will be able to take your woman away from you under only two circumstances: (1) he is a better man than you, and you should spend more time improving yourself and becoming the "great catch" who has no competition, or (2) if you are the "great catch," your woman is not worthy of your time and attention because she was easily distracted by another man who is not your equal. In either circumstance, honesty with yourself will allow you to recognize your shortcomings or your woman's shortcomings.
If you are the best, you deserve the best. If you're not the best, it's your job to become the best so that you are secure in your own mind. Women, even HB women, come and go, but "to thine ownself be true."
hitop
Senior Don Juan
Sure, but wait a minute
That's exactly what I said. You listenin'?
Ok, yes. When you're with a HB that's off the hook she's so damn good looking, it's part of the territory that she will get tons of oohs and ahhs. You can rationalize the point until you're blue in the face, but if your with a good woman, she won't milk the situation. Let me further explain...
Let's say you are with a very attractive woman and you being of course, a DJ, are brimming with confidence and you know that you are the prize. We have that settled for now. Now, when you go out the wolves/AFC's are out in droves on this particular night and you end up at your favorite watering hole. She's getting all kinds of looks and stares. When you head off to the bathroom and you get back, guess what? Some dorkwad is hittin' her up big time.
But hey, you're a DJ, right? You are confident, cool, charasmatic, funny, ****y and...blah. You will not be shaken or stirred by this. Look, you can use all the rationalizing BS you want. But if you're with a woman who is worth a sh*t, she won't be sending out signals by either facial expression or body language, Or even if she wasn't sending these kinds of signals, if some nitwit tried hitting her up, and if she is with YOU, supposedly, she'd tell this clown that she is with someone. Guess who? YOU!
TIP: If you're with a woman who soaks up all this attention like a dry sponge in bathtub at YOUR expense, DUMP HER.
That is of course you particularly enjoy the company of someone like this, then knock yourself out. I have better things to do than spend time with a high maintenance twit.
That's exactly what I said. You listenin'?
Ok, yes. When you're with a HB that's off the hook she's so damn good looking, it's part of the territory that she will get tons of oohs and ahhs. You can rationalize the point until you're blue in the face, but if your with a good woman, she won't milk the situation. Let me further explain...
Let's say you are with a very attractive woman and you being of course, a DJ, are brimming with confidence and you know that you are the prize. We have that settled for now. Now, when you go out the wolves/AFC's are out in droves on this particular night and you end up at your favorite watering hole. She's getting all kinds of looks and stares. When you head off to the bathroom and you get back, guess what? Some dorkwad is hittin' her up big time.
But hey, you're a DJ, right? You are confident, cool, charasmatic, funny, ****y and...blah. You will not be shaken or stirred by this. Look, you can use all the rationalizing BS you want. But if you're with a woman who is worth a sh*t, she won't be sending out signals by either facial expression or body language, Or even if she wasn't sending these kinds of signals, if some nitwit tried hitting her up, and if she is with YOU, supposedly, she'd tell this clown that she is with someone. Guess who? YOU!
TIP: If you're with a woman who soaks up all this attention like a dry sponge in bathtub at YOUR expense, DUMP HER.
That is of course you particularly enjoy the company of someone like this, then knock yourself out. I have better things to do than spend time with a high maintenance twit.
Mr. Mystery
Master Don Juan
A girl I was with a while back was about an 8 on my scale but much higher on other peoples scale.
She got free back stage passes to a concert from some members of a group performing and asked me if I wanted to go. I knew she got the tickets because they were interested in her.
I told my friends I would chill with them that day, so I declined.
She calls me after the show and tells me they were asking her for head. I say, "Its the least you could do, they gave you free backstage passes." She says, "I just thought they were being nice, blah blah blah."
I also joked with her about other chicks hitting on me.
Keep it light, make jokes about sh!t like that.
I don't find it too hard to not care about what other guys are doing with her. I suppose I know that I don't need her, and that there are others out there.
CLOONEY:
Remember that there are other women out there.
Another point to make is to have fun while with her, don't let things she does affect your attitude at all. Be in a good mood because your happy not because shes making you happy.
A very strong point in my game is the fact that I don't care about what other people think of me and I don't let stimuli outside of myself affect my mood. If someone makes fun of me or a chick disses me or whatever, I usually just laugh, for some reason its funny to me. And the one that cares less always wins.
Women notice my nonchalantness (spelling) and it drives them crazy that I am not under their spell like all the other guys shes been with. She wants to make me care more about her and stop neg hitting her, and it keeps her interest very high. Thats why neg hits work so well.
But I'm still young, I'm not looking for any kind of solid relationships, if your looking for something more serious than this might not be the best way to go.
Everyone is different what works for one man may not work for another, you just gotta find what works for you.
Mr. Mystery
She got free back stage passes to a concert from some members of a group performing and asked me if I wanted to go. I knew she got the tickets because they were interested in her.
I told my friends I would chill with them that day, so I declined.
She calls me after the show and tells me they were asking her for head. I say, "Its the least you could do, they gave you free backstage passes." She says, "I just thought they were being nice, blah blah blah."
I also joked with her about other chicks hitting on me.
Keep it light, make jokes about sh!t like that.
I don't find it too hard to not care about what other guys are doing with her. I suppose I know that I don't need her, and that there are others out there.
CLOONEY:
Remember that there are other women out there.
Another point to make is to have fun while with her, don't let things she does affect your attitude at all. Be in a good mood because your happy not because shes making you happy.
A very strong point in my game is the fact that I don't care about what other people think of me and I don't let stimuli outside of myself affect my mood. If someone makes fun of me or a chick disses me or whatever, I usually just laugh, for some reason its funny to me. And the one that cares less always wins.
Women notice my nonchalantness (spelling) and it drives them crazy that I am not under their spell like all the other guys shes been with. She wants to make me care more about her and stop neg hitting her, and it keeps her interest very high. Thats why neg hits work so well.
But I'm still young, I'm not looking for any kind of solid relationships, if your looking for something more serious than this might not be the best way to go.
Everyone is different what works for one man may not work for another, you just gotta find what works for you.
Mr. Mystery
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
If your girl doesn't know how to make you feel right about being her man (ie. allows guys to hit on her without letting them know she has a boyfriend). Tell her to stop it. BUT. Only tell her once!
If she continues ..... DUMP her cuz you're headed for heartbreak anyways.
If she continues ..... DUMP her cuz you're headed for heartbreak anyways.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
There is a nice balance you have to strike here between confidence in yourself and not putting up with her stuff.
As for your confidence this applies when she's getting hit on, whistled at, or otherwise given the once over. It happened all the time with my last girlfriend. But we had an understanding; she's with me. Guys are going to be animals no matter what. If she can go out and find a guy that she'd rather be with, go for, its a free country, and I wish her all the best. But I personally have better things to do than waste my time obsessing over all the guys that are going to inevitably hit on my woman. I know that I'm that great of a catch, so jealousy became an exercise in futility a long time ago.
The second understanding we reached was when she deliberately told her about all the guys that were hitting on her. This being one of the more obvious ploys for emotional pandering a woman can employ. I made it a personal policy that whenever she mentioned a guy who hit on her I returned the favor. She got the hint when she saw that not only was I not biting, but it was backfiring every time she tried it. Either way, problem solved.
-CyranoDeBergerac
As for your confidence this applies when she's getting hit on, whistled at, or otherwise given the once over. It happened all the time with my last girlfriend. But we had an understanding; she's with me. Guys are going to be animals no matter what. If she can go out and find a guy that she'd rather be with, go for, its a free country, and I wish her all the best. But I personally have better things to do than waste my time obsessing over all the guys that are going to inevitably hit on my woman. I know that I'm that great of a catch, so jealousy became an exercise in futility a long time ago.
The second understanding we reached was when she deliberately told her about all the guys that were hitting on her. This being one of the more obvious ploys for emotional pandering a woman can employ. I made it a personal policy that whenever she mentioned a guy who hit on her I returned the favor. She got the hint when she saw that not only was I not biting, but it was backfiring every time she tried it. Either way, problem solved.
-CyranoDeBergerac
I meet HB's all over the place. In Clubs, at College, or through a mutual friend.
How did I stand out? Because I am good looking and dont talk to them, then after a while they wonder why not, and they talk to me. Neg-hits are a MUST. I NEVER go out of my way to talk to them, if you do, this gives them power, and straight away you loose. Unless of course you are the king of charm.
How did I stand out? Because I am good looking and dont talk to them, then after a while they wonder why not, and they talk to me. Neg-hits are a MUST. I NEVER go out of my way to talk to them, if you do, this gives them power, and straight away you loose. Unless of course you are the king of charm.
corruptrelic
Senior Don Juan
Clooney correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think he's giving the full story. There's a difference between having a hot girlfriend who has guys drooling all over her and who doesn't respond to their advancements - than a HB who actively misleads guys, lets them approach her, flirts with them, and even gives out her number.
That is just plain disrespectful in my opinion. She's in a relationship with you, she shoudn't be flirting with other guys and playing with other guys hearts.. how long until one of these guys hits all her right buttons and then she can blame it on "it just happened"?
Its like she's in a relationship with you, yet she seeks her attention from other guys, she's not single, but she acts single. This isn't a good picture.
Accept the fact that insecurity and distrust are two different things. If you have a HB girlfriend and a guy approaches her and she does the honest, respectufl thing and says something like "Thanks, but sorry I already have a boyfriend." she's faithful, trustworthy, and the kind of woman you should be happy with.
But if she says "Wow really? You like my legs? Here's my number, give me a call some time and we'll get together, and I'm available!" That's just an attention wh0re. (NO offense to you clooney.)
I sware my one-itis was EXACTLY like this. She kept claiming interest in me yet she went out with other guys, danced with them, mislead them, flirted with them, hugged them, did everything and yet in the end she would always say "But I'm only interested in you." I stopped caring what she SAID and started paying attention to what she DID - and she did the same thing your girl did, flirted with every guy out there. She was a fine spanish girl and I really have no problem with guys noticing her, thats just complimenting you! But when she activiely goes out and starts misleading these guys, this is another whole thing.
And if you are hanging back telling her you dont care about all these guys, it doesn't bother you at all, don't you think you're giving her the impression you just dont care?
I agree its good to give some degree that you dont care, hey do your own thing.. but when a girl is in a serious relationship she needs to know that you CARE at least some, trust me on that. And the things she does and you act like you dont care, hey.. you dont care if you dont care, right? So why not keep doing what she's doing, and believe it that one of these guys is going to find out what she wants, convince her that she can do better, and next thing you know she'll be leaving you for another guy, all because you never cared in the first place.
What kind of committed relationship is this by the way? Is this supposed to be exclusive? Because apparently it isn't!
It reminds me so much of one-itis and how she played with all these other guys, I had so much distrust in her I decided it was time to stop worrying. It was time to find a faithful, honest, LOYAL woman who doesn't play games. And there are a ton of them out there. You can stick around with a girl who goes out with every guy in town, and hope she'll stay faithful. But why would you want to put up with that unnecessary worry? You can do better things in your time than to wonder what guy she's talking/seeing/whatever else with don't you think?
So I'm going to agree with slickster - call her on this and tell her enough, and let her know you're ready to walk away if she doesn't stop. Remember as far as I know this post was a little incomplete, its not just guys hitting on her, but its her LETTING them hit on her, and even going as far as giving out her number to them. Its not just guys paying attention, its vice versa, her paying just as much attention to them as they are her. How could anyone trust someone like that?
I'm sure you have plenty of confidence already (but we could all use more) and the key thing to remember here is that its' not your fault, it's her fault. She's the one that's going out and doing these things, not you.. how can you change if she's the one at fault? She's the one that needs to change, and if she can't, you have to talk a walk and not look back. There are so many other girls out there who will be honest and loyal that it's crazy to stick around with one until she gets to use the common "it just happened" excuse.. she let it happen, and to some degree so did you, because you didn't care what she did with other guys.
I definitely feel for this post though.. and I hope you'll strongly think about the future, and ask yourself, is it really worth staying in something that you feel uncomfortable in? When you know there are about 3,000 other women right around the corner, who are perfectly happy with just one guy, and not only do the say it with their words - but they PROVE it with their actions.. something your girlfriend apparently has yet to do.
That is just plain disrespectful in my opinion. She's in a relationship with you, she shoudn't be flirting with other guys and playing with other guys hearts.. how long until one of these guys hits all her right buttons and then she can blame it on "it just happened"?
Its like she's in a relationship with you, yet she seeks her attention from other guys, she's not single, but she acts single. This isn't a good picture.
Accept the fact that insecurity and distrust are two different things. If you have a HB girlfriend and a guy approaches her and she does the honest, respectufl thing and says something like "Thanks, but sorry I already have a boyfriend." she's faithful, trustworthy, and the kind of woman you should be happy with.
But if she says "Wow really? You like my legs? Here's my number, give me a call some time and we'll get together, and I'm available!" That's just an attention wh0re. (NO offense to you clooney.)
I sware my one-itis was EXACTLY like this. She kept claiming interest in me yet she went out with other guys, danced with them, mislead them, flirted with them, hugged them, did everything and yet in the end she would always say "But I'm only interested in you." I stopped caring what she SAID and started paying attention to what she DID - and she did the same thing your girl did, flirted with every guy out there. She was a fine spanish girl and I really have no problem with guys noticing her, thats just complimenting you! But when she activiely goes out and starts misleading these guys, this is another whole thing.
And if you are hanging back telling her you dont care about all these guys, it doesn't bother you at all, don't you think you're giving her the impression you just dont care?
I agree its good to give some degree that you dont care, hey do your own thing.. but when a girl is in a serious relationship she needs to know that you CARE at least some, trust me on that. And the things she does and you act like you dont care, hey.. you dont care if you dont care, right? So why not keep doing what she's doing, and believe it that one of these guys is going to find out what she wants, convince her that she can do better, and next thing you know she'll be leaving you for another guy, all because you never cared in the first place.
What kind of committed relationship is this by the way? Is this supposed to be exclusive? Because apparently it isn't!
It reminds me so much of one-itis and how she played with all these other guys, I had so much distrust in her I decided it was time to stop worrying. It was time to find a faithful, honest, LOYAL woman who doesn't play games. And there are a ton of them out there. You can stick around with a girl who goes out with every guy in town, and hope she'll stay faithful. But why would you want to put up with that unnecessary worry? You can do better things in your time than to wonder what guy she's talking/seeing/whatever else with don't you think?
So I'm going to agree with slickster - call her on this and tell her enough, and let her know you're ready to walk away if she doesn't stop. Remember as far as I know this post was a little incomplete, its not just guys hitting on her, but its her LETTING them hit on her, and even going as far as giving out her number to them. Its not just guys paying attention, its vice versa, her paying just as much attention to them as they are her. How could anyone trust someone like that?
I'm sure you have plenty of confidence already (but we could all use more) and the key thing to remember here is that its' not your fault, it's her fault. She's the one that's going out and doing these things, not you.. how can you change if she's the one at fault? She's the one that needs to change, and if she can't, you have to talk a walk and not look back. There are so many other girls out there who will be honest and loyal that it's crazy to stick around with one until she gets to use the common "it just happened" excuse.. she let it happen, and to some degree so did you, because you didn't care what she did with other guys.
I definitely feel for this post though.. and I hope you'll strongly think about the future, and ask yourself, is it really worth staying in something that you feel uncomfortable in? When you know there are about 3,000 other women right around the corner, who are perfectly happy with just one guy, and not only do the say it with their words - but they PROVE it with their actions.. something your girlfriend apparently has yet to do.
wheelin&dealin
Master Don Juan
You're a typical insecure guy who has little confidence in himself. You are worried about other guys picking her up because you doubt your abilities of being able to EVER get a girl like this again in your life.
wheelin&dealin
Master Don Juan
You obviously haven't dated many HBs because if you have, you would know how to handle the situation by now and you wouldn't be such a fumbling flake.Originally posted by CLOONEY
Wheelin, I am talking about multiple girls, different girls I have dated, not one inparticular.
CyranoDeBergerac
Master Don Juan
stfu man. Talkin like you know...
At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.