For some of us, it just isn't in our cards...

[DavenJuan]

As I see it, the three factors that matter are: power/status/money, looks, and game. Having only one or two out of the three, you're still going to get AFC results. To get the most desirable women, you have to touch all three bases.

power?? what do you mean by power? being an influential person? power and status can be easily confused.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So basically, if you're not rich, then you're screwed. I think in the context here, power and status and money, we're really talking about money.

So to be successful with women, you need to be rich, be good looking, and have tight game. And you must have all three.

This is exactly why some of my friends have given up on finding girls. They say "I don't have all three" and "what's the point of improving myself if I'm not rich or good looking".

Let them give up, it gives the rest of us full reign.

 

[reset]

Let them give up, it gives the rest of us full reign.

I'm not taking this negative stuff and internalizing it anymore. No!

 

[joekerr31]

the power thing is relative.

a waitress will perceive a garbage man as having power becuase he has a steady job.

a lawyer will see a garbage man as having less power because she's around guys who make 4x as much.

the looks thing is relative also. an hb5 might consider a guy hot, whereas an hb9 wouldn't give the guy the time of day.

 

[joekerr31]

So basically, if you're not rich, then you're screwed. I think in the context here, power and status and money, we're really talking about money.

So to be successful with women, you need to be rich, be good looking, and have tight game. And you must have all three.

This is exactly why some of my friends have given up on finding girls. They say "I don't have all three" and "what's the point of improving myself if I'm not rich or good looking".

you don't need to be 'rich', you just need to be steadily employed. not just have a 'job' but have a career or some sort.

it can be kind of depressing when you think of just how utilitarian women see men. for women its not just about sex, its also about the type of 'life' they will have with the man.

 

[azanon]

As I see it, the three factors that matter are: power/status/money, looks, and game. Having only one or two out of the three, you're still going to get AFC results. To get the most desirable women, you have to touch all three bases.

Although I'm an admitted "Biblebelt" fan, I have to disagree with you on this one. 2 of the 3 are needed to be effective; though the most challenging of the two will be the looks + game combo. If you guys remember Paul Janka, he had looks and game, but not much money.

For ONS, you can "scam" the money part with many women. But there are some that are just going to be too intuitive to fall for a facade; and these really sharp ones are your keepers. Usually these are also professionals with a great paying job.

Certainly all 3 are preferrable. I like to believe I have a healthy dose of all 3 at this stage in my life, but I've had time to do it (being 36). You can do a great deal about all of them too; including looks. There are PLENTLY of TV "make over" shows that have more than demonstrated just how much you can improve looks. Throw in exercise and diet and you have considerable power over that item. Game? Study and practice the DJ bible. Money? Make something of yourself; this is the land of opportunity.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

the power thing is relative.

a waitress will perceive a garbage man as having power becuase he has a steady job.

a lawyer will see a garbage man as having less power because she's around guys who make 4x as much.

the looks thing is relative also. an hb5 might consider a guy hot, whereas an hb9 wouldn't give the guy the time of day.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I just believe that power is overrated. Who's truly stronger, someone who has influence over others or someone who has influence over himself. I've learned that most people's answers are based on whether they believe they are themselves powerful or not. The thing is, the people with power over others just have power over those who believe they are weaker. "Wow, look at all these weaklings I control!" Yeah, that's a goal to shoot for.

The thing about power is that the concept alone holds down people who believe that someone has power over them. It's self inflicted and self eroding more than anything.

 

[azanon]

Let them give up, it gives the rest of us full reign.

Exactly. Trust me, I'm personally not fooled. I fully realize its not my looks, money, or game that makes me effective. Its my looks, money, and game levels relative to the competition.

Thank GOD many man have given up. If it weren't for them, many things I have wouldn't be possible! I'd also like to think the Academy and God.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Exactly. Trust me, I'm personally not fooled. I fully realize its not my looks, money, or game that makes me effective. Its my looks, money, and game levels relative to the competition.

Thank GOD many man have given up. If it weren't for them, many things I have wouldn't be possible! I'd also like to think the Academy and God.

You're right. No matter how much money you have, more than likely there's someone with more within a quarter mile if not less of where you live. Same goes for looks. It's a sad state when that's all that a guy has to offer.

I'd never put any effort into women who would choose their relationship on who has the most of either. Attractiveness is subjective, no matter how good you look you're not going to attract everyone (please don't make this into a looks thread). As for money, believe it or not you don't really need that much to have a fulfilled life unless you need a ton of external things to make you happy. If that's the case when could a person ever be truly happy? Is it possible for them to even buy enough to achieve that?

It's a sad state when a guy has no chance of having a woman ever tell him that she enjoys his company because of who he is as opposed to what he has. I think that these guys know it and it may be why they feel that they need "stuff" to compensate for it. I don't even think that they even believe that they could be loved unconditionally. I could be wrong, actually I wish I were; but these threads just reaffirms my personal cynicism.

 

[Bible_Belt]

what do you mean by power? being an influential person?

That's a good question. Frank and Joe already answered much of it. Power over yourself is more important than power over others. Be in control of your emotions, not jealous or insecure, and happy with life. Happy is not the same as satisfied, you still keep working toward goals, but you at least need goals to be happy about working toward them. When you do all of these things and become a strong person, you will likely find yourself being placed in a position of having power over others, at least in an interpersonal setting. If you are simply happy with where your life is going, that will subtlety convey leadership qualities that make people gravitate to you. Emotion is contagious, and people will subconsciously want what you have.

Those goals you worked toward likely included education, training, a side business or extra effort at your job, and getting in shape. Life will reward you for working harder and smarter than the average bear. Then you will begin to have power over others in a career setting. Women like that, too, at least it will get you more initial interest, but you still have to be a strong man to keep a desirable woman. Game matters, but if your mind is not strong and you turn AFC, then she will crush you like all the other heartbroken AFCs in her wake. Power over yourself helps you at all stages.

 

[Mr. Me]

power/status/money, looks, and game. Having only one or two out of the three, you're still going to get AFC results. To get the most desirable women, you have to touch all three bases.

Define "desirable". If a woman is attracted to me in part because I have money or status, then I don't find her that desirable anymore.

One of the hottest women I ever went out with was this hot stacked blonde, educated, kind of resembled Linda Carter "Wonder Woman". She was so hot that she got over 52,000 hits on her online ad within 8 months, getting sometimes over 400 emails a day. She attracted wealthy types lavishing expensive gifts on her, some guys flew her off to vacations in exotic lands, send limos to pick her up for dates, that sort of stuff. She swam with sharks in Bora Bora, went on safaris in Tanzania, climbed the Matterhorn, danced barefoot with African tribes, that kind of life. I didn't afford her any of those things, her attraction to me must've been on looks, and maybe, thinking back, on that I didn't lavish gifts on her like everyone else. In fact, now come to think of it, she bought me gifts. Hmmm.

She eventually got married here to a general contractor and then wrote a tell all book a couple of years ago about her dating experiences, and it's filled with stories like what I've just mentioned (Of course, what she fails to mention, is that she's NUTS for even getting involved with the guys she got involved with: a conspiracy theorist living in the UK, a religious fanatic from Texas, a sadomasochistic psychiatrist, and a pre-op transsexual and for getting on planes to be taken to other lands by complete strangers.

I remember that she came on strong for me the night she met me and the first couple of dates, we went out for a couple of weeks and it fizzled out and I saw her a couple of times after that (just for sex), and went to her birthday party and I do remember also that she liked the attention she got and kept all admirers in her orbit. There were a bunch of them at her party! I called them "the walking wounded". High maintenance, she was. I guess a lot of guys saw her as "desirable". But after all the powerful wealthy men she met that went for her, a general contractor right here in the city is the guy who finally got her. But I can't say I'd call her "desirable", except for her body.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Define "desirable". If a woman is attracted to me in part because I have money or status, then I don't find her that desirable anymore...

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you....

 

[reset]

you don't need to be 'rich', you just need to be steadily employed. not just have a 'job' but have a career or some sort.

it can be kind of depressing when you think of just how utilitarian women see men. for women its not just about sex, its also about the type of 'life' they will have with the man.

Yeah, well I have a skill and a field I work in and everything. But if women see me as utilitarian, as in how they can use me, fvck em. I know you can't escape it, but I'm getting tired of seeing stuff about how you have to do this or that or this or that to get chicks. Damn just take what you want.

<meltdown>

 

[reset]

Who's truly stronger, someone who has influence over others or someone who has influence over himself.

Yes I prefer this definition of power.

The thing is, the people with power over others just have power over those who believe they are weaker. "Wow, look at all these weaklings I control!" Yeah, that's a goal to shoot for.

Lol, that's what I thought power used to mean too. But if you're getting off on having power over others, you have to have others to have power over, without others you have no sense of power, therefore other people are the ones with the power, not you. I think it's all ego stuff.

 

[joekerr31]

Yeah, well I have a skill and a field I work in and everything. But if women see me as utilitarian, as in how they can use me, fvck em. I know you can't escape it, but I'm getting tired of seeing stuff about how you have to do this or that or this or that to get chicks. Damn just take what you want.

<meltdown>

which is why i always go back to saying that you cannot, i emphasize CANNOT, ever make a woman the center of your universe.

you have to be ready to drop a woman like a bad habit. because if you aren't, then she's got you by the balls.

this also means that something else must be the center of your universe. whether that be an ideology, belief in self, belief in a higher power, etc.

 

[reset]

Define "desirable". If a woman is attracted to me in part because I have money or status, then I don't find her that desirable anymore.

You may have saved me some grief there.

 

[reset]

this also means that something else must be the center of your universe. whether that be an ideology, belief in self, belief in a higher power, etc.

I agree. It's ridiculous how much of a man's identity he can donate to girls. And I know 'cuz that's exactly what I did. Totally pointless.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

which is why i always go back to saying that you cannot, i emphasize CANNOT, ever make a woman the center of your universe...

It's like riding across a tightrope on a unicycle with a warped wheel.

 

[joekerr31]

I agree. It's ridiculous how much of a man's identity he can donate to girls. And I know 'cuz that's exactly what I did. Totally pointless.

you know what really blows your mind, is when you come to see that even your own mother will mess with your head if you let her.

make no mistake about it, men are brainwashed into thinking that they must protect and sacrifice for women. that you aren't really a man if you aren't committed to the women in your life.

i say f*ck that. you are an individual. who cares what women, society, parents, friends, etc. think.

find yoru center. find what you believe in. then live YOUR life. if you get lucky and find a woman who fits in to that, great. if not, no big deal. you are still MILES ahead of the guy who never even started to live his own life and simply got hitched and is like a horse plowing the field with a woman steering him left and right.

some men / people are simply mean to be wild horses. and then others are meant to be saddled and broken in.

the only woman i'll ever settle down with is one who can ride a wild horse and isn't looking to break him in and saddle him up.

 

[joekerr31]

It's like riding across a tightrope on a unicycle with a warped wheel.

good analogy