Well, since I don't feel like sleeping, here's the story of my first kiss. I'm betting I'll win this "prize" hands down, no competition. It didn't happen in High School, I hope that's ok.
At 20 years (three years ago), I had never kissed a girl before, and had been on three dates in my entire life. One day, I remarked in front of a class of women that I thought a girl across the street was really hot. Since I was a prude, I felt ashamed to make such a crass comment in front of women. But I looked over and the hot German chick with enormous boobs was giving me the most inviting grin. All of a sudden, without advice from anybody, I realized, "when I am ******dly comfortable with my sexuality, instead of scorning it, women looooove it!" I went from class A lonely to serial dating three women at once, with a fourth about to get the call. This is when I met the first gf of my life.
She was great: asian, beautiful, intelligent, witty, we had a profound connection instantly. I got her number like a weasel since we were in the same class. I said, "yo we should exchange and edit each other's papers. Gimme your number." She didn't want to give me her damn paper! Our first conversation we had to work to get off the phone; our connection was so profound, our commonalities so striking, we both knew something was up. Our first date was 7 hours of fascinating conversation in two venues. Our second date lasted 5 hrs, the third time she invited me over. I had been giving her hugs every time to increase kino (I wasn't too bad before I found sosuave!) But that was it.
At her place, I wanted to make a move, but I was so terrified of what might happen, that she wouldn't like it, that she would resist. Our date went from 7pm to 3 am, just talking, with me wishing something would happen. At one point, she was in a corner, and I, trying to force myself to kiss her, said, "I have something for you." LOL, could that line sound like it was more out of a murder mystery? And the worst is, I chickened out, she seemed frightened, and I didn't understand her resistance. I stopped and walked away.
Suddenly infuriated, at 3 am I asked her "what is going on between us? Are we dating or what?" She said, "I can't talk about this now, I need to sleep." Good idea, I said. And despondent, nearly in tears, I lay down on a couch. She left for her room.
I felt humiliated, and I plotted to escape early next morning before she would awaken. At 8 am the next morning, I heard footsteps, closer, closer. Good morning she said, and jumped into the couch with me. There we were, face to face. I was panicking. I talked small talk, music, other things, anything. I was staring into her eyes, her lips were only an inch away.
You're not going to believe it. I couldn't do it. After an hour of horizontal tango without the tango, I got impatient and suggested we eat breakfast. After breakfast, she wanted to show me some pictures in her room. I sat on her bed, she sat next to me, half an inch away, showing me pictures, looking over every once in a while and gazing right into my eyes. I will probably never have it so easy again in my life. I didn't kiss her. "You're too nice" she said suddenly, and it was time for me to leave. I hugged her and split.
I felt completely rejected when I left. Why? Because I had waited for her to answer my question, "are we dating or what?" She didn't bring it up, I figured the answer was no! I thought you had to be declared bf/gf before you make a move on a girl! The opposite is true. It wasn't until later that night (talk about stupid!) that I realized, "wait a minute, she hopped into bed with me. If that isn't an answer, I don't know what is!" Armed with my discovery, I was washed with a new confidence. A beautiful girl that I desired had chosen... me!
Date 4: I had promised her to one day show her my apartment. So I figured today was a good day. We had just cleaned, so I brought her over, showed her around, introduced her to the roommates, who loved her, and promptly closed my door. Well, it got late without me taking any action at all, so I offered for her to spend the night. I gave her pajamas, changed in front of her, we flossed and brushed our teeth. We hopped into bed - once again nose to nose - and talked for a while. I was getting tired, so I said, "good night" and I kissed her on the head. Then I went to sleep, trying to hide my hard-on.
The next morning was my first kiss. We made breakfast, and talked for a while. Finally, I said, "well so what's your answer?" "To what?" "To the state of the union." She gave me a lengthy speech about how she was no good with relationships, how she always wanted to be alone, how she was afraid since you must lose everybody you ever meet. And so on. Every word turned out to be true. But in the meantime, a brilliant idea had finally entered my noggan. "She could overthink and worry forever about this. I should just make a move. She's obviously not going to" (I was hoping she would make the first move, since I didn't have the courage.)
She was still babbling about the requirements of relationships. I cut her off and asked, "Screw all that. Can I kiss you now?" She paused, "yes."
Somewhere in the road of my life, I had gotten the idea that kissing involved a lot of suction. I had even practiced this on my arm, my hand, my pillow. I was confident in my "kiss-sucking" technique. When our lips met, I sucked air in as if I were trying to extract a diamond from her lungs. She was not at all pleased. "Stop sucking so hard!" I stopped. We kissed for a little while, then I got bored. "Sweet" I joked, she laughed. That was my first kiss. I told her so right then. She didn't care. Her kissing technique involved slobbering all over my mouth. It was disgusting, so in my book we were even.
People had always mockingly asked me throughout grade school and high school, "have you ever kissed a girl?" Ashamed, I lied to all but my closest of friends. Now, I thought it was an enormous accomplishment to have kissed somebody. The greatest benefit in my mind was that I wouldn't have to lie anymore that I had kissed a fictional girl, Rebecca. I could tell the truth, and I was proud. During the course of that week, I discovered just how petty and small this accomplishment was.
The girl and I dated for 11 months to the day, then she cheated on me and left me for someone else. That hurt a lot, but it was worth the experience, and in my heartbreak, I stumbled upon this site. My life has never been the same since.
