Female - Looking for honest advice

[Scaramouche]

Dear Alpha Girl,
Perhaps I have misjudged you,if that is the case then please accept my apologies...I would also like to thank you for what was a perfect indeed classical response...Maam you give an impression of being a real Lady having that inneffable ability to take the wind out of everyones sails,but retaining withall a certain humility.....A precious gift ...So as you feel the wind of success filling your own sails,and the prow of your proud craft cuts through the waves,enjoy the feeling,sadly this experience comes to so few and does not last forever...I genuinely hope that your prayers are answered and that Lady Fate will smile on your quest...

 

[AlphaGirl78]

I wonder, have you ever made clear that you WANT a dominant man? Plenty of AFC guys have to discover their manliness, which has been crushed by feminism, Hollywood, and divorce attorneys. Plenty of guys here USED to be AFC and are now more dominating. But they may still hold back.

I have not straight out said it .. but i am probably being to subtle about it.I have found in my 29 years of life .. subtly does not usually get read by men.But being that i am a woman, i still do it.

But my one concern with that is a guy who wouldnt know how to do it right. Like thinking that beinging dominate is arguing with me everytime on the choice of movie.

Plus is all honesty, which i am trying to be here. i don't want to have to tell him. i want him to sense it. Maybe tell him once, but i don't want to have to coach the guy either. At this point most men should have figured it out.i don't have one girlfriend that wants to be dominate. every single one of them wants a guy who takes charge. even if we put up a fight. we even call each other excited when a guy puts us in our place. honest to god! it is totally true, bu nature woman are submissive and want to be treated that way in a non-degrading manner.

 

[jophil28]

Plus is all honesty, which i am trying to be here. i don't want to have to tell him. i want him to sense it. Maybe tell him once, but i don't want to have to coach the guy either. At this point most men should have figured it out.i don't have one girlfriend that wants to be dominate. every single one of them wants a guy who takes charge. even if we put up a fight. we even call each other excited when a guy puts us in our place. honest to god! it is totally true, bu nature woman are submissive and want to be treated that way in a non-degrading manner.

I have a plan - go over to Loveshack.org and read a bunch of the posts and replies in the "Dating" forum. LS is predominantly populated by females who are having problems with relationships with men ( but are not very honest about the real causes). It is also the home of a few AFCs who fawn over the dominant femmes over there.
Read the posts and 'feel the hostility" toward men.
The women on the board with their mindset are the polar opposite of who and what attracts men into an LTR..
These women have bought into the feminist propoganda of the past 40 years and they have been spoon fed the drivel from the likes of Oprah and Ricki ,et al.
If you relate to these women on that site and you hear yourself in their posts and replies - well you have found your problem.

My advice is to get a good grasp on the how those women are living their lives and do the exact opposite.

You will be OK then.

 

[iqqi]

AlphaChic, where are you meeting men?

This may have something to do with it.

And when someone said are you making it clear you want a dominant man, making it clear doesn't necessarily mean with words.

You sound like an A+ chick, and as long as you aren't monkey branch swingin', or H0ing it out to everyone... you're gonna have to wait for a good one. Everyone has dry spells. The first question is important to how long yours will be.

 

[decades]

Every one of your posts seems to have an oh so subtle "dig" at men in them. i.e. it's their fault for being slow on the uptake and don't quite "get" You. If there is, as it seems, any underlying hostility, that will come out in your relations. You mentioned in the original post that two types of men seem to come on to You, and it never seems to work out. I would focus like a laser beam on the one common denominator in these situations.

 

[Warrior74]

Maybe you should date upward. Go after those CEO types eh?

 

[DavenJuan]

Alpha girl...

i didnt read allt he replies but im going to take a stab at this...

TRADITIONALLy in our society..

WOMEN date UP

MEN date DOWN...

the quality of men that you are finding may be your problem. Icky made a good point, maybe you arent making your intentions clear NONVERBALLY.

 

[##17]

Plus is all honesty, which i am trying to be here. i don't want to have to tell him. i want him to sense it. Maybe tell him once, but i don't want to have to coach the guy either. At this point most men should have figured it out.i don't have one girlfriend that wants to be dominate. every single one of them wants a guy who takes charge. even if we put up a fight. we even call each other excited when a guy puts us in our place. honest to god! it is totally true, bu nature woman are submissive and want to be treated that way in a non-degrading manner.

I WILL give you points for honesty. Most women will NEVER admit that. This is also something that AFCs do not get.

The simple truth is that a good man who can maturely handle a woman making so much money is pretty rare.

EDIT: I will also say something else. Men want to feel needed by their woman to 'slay the dragons' so to speak. If we don't get a chance to do that (because you're so much better at doing it yourself) we don't feel necessary, and so we won't fall in love with you. We'll lose interest. I am wondering if you are coming across as so uber-capable that you might not be giving the men you are dating the chance to do that for you.

 

[STR8UP]

Maybe you should date upward. Go after those CEO types eh?

That's what I was going to say.

Interceptor's comment about vulnerability also rings true.

At the end of the day any man who is a Man want a woman who is comfortable being feminine.

I blame much of my single-ness on the lack of feminine women in America today

 

[mrRuckus]

he would be secure enough, that if someone hit on me at a bar ... i could look over to him and he would just wink,

If you think i'm going to sit there while you flirt with other men AND take advantage of them by accepting a drink knowing full well their intentions and that there's 0% chance you're taking things any further with them, you are kidding yourself.

 

[##17]

I i could look over to him and he would just wink, knowing i was leaving with him but happy i got a free drink LOL.

I am sure i could go on.

What the hell? You like to take guys for free drinks when you know you're not available? That is NOT cool. There's a NAME for women like that.

Thanks, mRuckus, for pointing that out. I missed that the first time.

 

[DavenJuan]

What the hell? You like to take guys for free drinks when you know you're not available? That is NOT cool. There's a NAME for women like that.

Thanks, mRuckus, for pointing that out. I missed that the first time.

.........AW!

 

[azanon]

What the hell? You like to take guys for free drinks when you know you're not available? That is NOT cool. There's a NAME for women like that.

There's a name for men who try to "buy" sex too. Probably more than one name. Here, we use the term AFC.

In any event, I'm relatively sure her point wasn't to say she steals drinks from men, rather to just give examples of where a potential male partner could show his confidence.

 

[mrRuckus]

just give examples of where a potential male partner could show his confidence.

Yeah by him walking out when the woman is actively disrespecting him AND showing low character by taking advantage of others for the enjoyment of it.

It isn't a lack of confidence or "jealousy" when you know a woman is doing wrong.

 

[Nelford]

I really liked that write up! I would say i totally suffer from the "have it all" ideology.

So ... outside of playing up the cuteness, not talking about money (which i don't) ... what else can i do? I am out very out going .. that OK? or does that come off "too party girl"? how does one single out the a certain guy .. with out seeming like a skank or just a ONS? LOL


On another note ... what do you guys think when a girl buys you a drink? Like if your at a club and a bunch of people are together ..and a girl buys a few of the rounds. Turn off, or turn on .. or just indifferent?


AZ - I laugh all the time! I do know how to have a good time. I can pretty much cope in any situation and by the end of the night made friends with most there.


Random question: I have always wondered and since i finally have a bunch of men being super honest i can ask. Why do some guys go for it the first night (as in sex) and some wait? Does a choice of action indicate where they want to take it? Or am i being a typical girl and over thinking it.

If I want to have sex with you on the first night that is all I want. If I don't it's because I want to know more about you then just sex.

 

[azanon]

Yeah by him walking out when the woman is actively disrespecting him AND showing low character by taking advantage of others for the enjoyment of it.

It isn't a lack of confidence or "jealousy" when you know a woman is doing wrong.

fair enough. I can agree based upon my own comments earlier she may be a bit too proud of herself, and that could be where the problems are coming from. I suggested to her to learn a bit of humility, including with her behavior.

 

[jophil28]

.. subtly does not usually get read by men.But being that i am a woman, i still do it.

This what bewilders me about a lot of women - they acknowledge that "dropping hints" does not work in their attempts to attract men or deal with men at a personal level, YET they still do it.
How remarkable that a woman who posts as "an AlphaGirl", who has been raised througout all those heady years of " woman power " and " you can have it all girl " still promotes and lives a life of "subtlety" in her dealings with men. I am wondering how she deals with her 50 odd employees - with subtlety or directness ? From my own experience - supervising employees requires a highly directive approach. Any middle manager knows that "dropping hints" to employees is just plain dumb.

Further more she knows from experience that it does not work with men, yet she still does it "being that I am a woman " ?

*Jophil shakes head in disbelief*::crazy:

 

[jophil28]

There's a name for men who try to "buy" sex too. Probably more than one name. Here, we use the term AFC.

In any event, I'm relatively sure her point wasn't to say she steals drinks from men, rather to just give examples of where a potential male partner could show his confidence.

WTF does "relatively sure" mean Aza ?

Only she knows what she means here - however she SAID that she is willing to chat up or be chatted up by a stranger when she is with her man all for the sake of a free drink. On her salary she can buy her own.
I think that we just got a glimpse of one aspect of this woman character.

 

[jophil28]

Maybe you should date upward. Go after those CEO types eh?

They are pretty rare and probably married. If any of these are still single then THEY have tons of other options.

 

[jophil28]

Duece