Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Tnx.
Female here asking for advice from guys
- Thread starter XtremeRacingDiva
- Start date
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
This chick is only looking for affirmation for her own delusions about how things should be, not how things actually are.
This guy is an A-Hole for blowing off this borderline, overweight, 'girlfriend' after 2 months without a single sexual encounter, because this guy wont fit into her misguided mental schema of how sex ought to be for guys? I don't think so. This guy is just cutting his loses at this point and looking for better prospects and she's upset that the world doesn't fit into her very little box, so he's the A-Hole.
Boo-hoo, poor little moto-girl,...I can't begin to recount all of the post I've read on this forum about exactly this same situation with genders reversed and we'd tell the guy to grow a pair, man-up, read the DJ Bible and move on. Stop giving this AFChick advice you'd never tell a AFC, because that's what she is. I mean really, if a guy said he was all bitter about some woman wasn't spending time with him and they he'd been holding off from having sex for 2 months, what would you tell the guy?
Lickaclit
Don Juan
Rollo. Shut up. You’re a know-nothing with little beneficial to say. Keep your small, worthless opinions to yourself. Continue chasing ass or something, isn’t that what you Don Juans do?
XtremeRacingDiva, don’t let these one-track minded morons insult you. Many of them spend far too much time giving “advice” on these forums to be doing anything productive with their lives. Nevertheless, what you have to understand before coming here, is that sex is the ultimate goal for most of the men and boys here. Attracting a woman isn’t a synonym for a wholesome relationship. Sex is the ultimate end. Therefore, most of the advice is geared towards sex, rather than creating relationships.
That said, I think you’ve made a wise decision in separating from him. He was wasting your time, not the other way around. Relationships must be reciprocal in order for them to survive. It would be ridiculously senseless to be in a relationship with someone just to find ways to ignore them. Sex shouldn’t be the foundation for any relationship and it is precisely for that kind of immature reasoning that nearly 50% of first-time marriages end in divorce—when the sex stops the couple is ignorant of what to do with one another.
You also have to understand that most of the people here are white. They have different standards for what is considered aesthetically pleasing, especially concerning weight. 5’1”, 125 lb. sounds thick to me. As a horny black-guy, I couldn’t ask for more.
In conclusion. You’ve done right. Forget the cliché, be true to yourself, just do whatever helps you for the long haul. Life is too big for you to be so concerned with one "loss", who probably isn’t the finest, funniest, richest, personable person in the world. There is—literally—always a better fish to catch, and when you find the one that satisfies you, the most. Be as goddamn clingy as you want.
XtremeRacingDiva, don’t let these one-track minded morons insult you. Many of them spend far too much time giving “advice” on these forums to be doing anything productive with their lives. Nevertheless, what you have to understand before coming here, is that sex is the ultimate goal for most of the men and boys here. Attracting a woman isn’t a synonym for a wholesome relationship. Sex is the ultimate end. Therefore, most of the advice is geared towards sex, rather than creating relationships.
That said, I think you’ve made a wise decision in separating from him. He was wasting your time, not the other way around. Relationships must be reciprocal in order for them to survive. It would be ridiculously senseless to be in a relationship with someone just to find ways to ignore them. Sex shouldn’t be the foundation for any relationship and it is precisely for that kind of immature reasoning that nearly 50% of first-time marriages end in divorce—when the sex stops the couple is ignorant of what to do with one another.
You also have to understand that most of the people here are white. They have different standards for what is considered aesthetically pleasing, especially concerning weight. 5’1”, 125 lb. sounds thick to me. As a horny black-guy, I couldn’t ask for more.
In conclusion. You’ve done right. Forget the cliché, be true to yourself, just do whatever helps you for the long haul. Life is too big for you to be so concerned with one "loss", who probably isn’t the finest, funniest, richest, personable person in the world. There is—literally—always a better fish to catch, and when you find the one that satisfies you, the most. Be as goddamn clingy as you want.
What's all this? Since when was relationship about who's wrong or who's right? If there's one thing I've learned about relationships, it is the fact that when it doesn't work, it is no ones fault.
Sure, you might say that it's the fault of the other party because they didn't show enough attention, ignored you, slept with someone else and what not. Blame, blame, blame. Then what? You go about your next relationship and the same shyt happens and you blame, blame, blame again. If that is how it is, then you've never learned a damn thing about relationships.
The girl ain't making the guy happy, the guy ain't making the girl happy. What's so difficult in understanding this simple scenario? It happens all the freakin time. Is every girlfriend or boyfriend supposed to grant their partner's every single wish? Some of the advice given shouldn't even be considered advice. They're more like orders or demands, the "Don't follow them and I'll ridicule you" advice.
If RacingDiva doesn't want to give in to sex so easily, then so be it. She has the freedom and right to do so. Obviously there are consequences of doing that. But she seems perfectly capable of handling it. And that's the most important thing. What I cannot stand are the people who listen to all the advice given, do not want to change or do something different and still whine and complain about things.
A salute to RacingDiva for having taken the step of breaking up with the guy and not falling apart over it.
Sure, you might say that it's the fault of the other party because they didn't show enough attention, ignored you, slept with someone else and what not. Blame, blame, blame. Then what? You go about your next relationship and the same shyt happens and you blame, blame, blame again. If that is how it is, then you've never learned a damn thing about relationships.
The girl ain't making the guy happy, the guy ain't making the girl happy. What's so difficult in understanding this simple scenario? It happens all the freakin time. Is every girlfriend or boyfriend supposed to grant their partner's every single wish? Some of the advice given shouldn't even be considered advice. They're more like orders or demands, the "Don't follow them and I'll ridicule you" advice.
If RacingDiva doesn't want to give in to sex so easily, then so be it. She has the freedom and right to do so. Obviously there are consequences of doing that. But she seems perfectly capable of handling it. And that's the most important thing. What I cannot stand are the people who listen to all the advice given, do not want to change or do something different and still whine and complain about things.
A salute to RacingDiva for having taken the step of breaking up with the guy and not falling apart over it.
hey
I am going to tell you something that no one has told you okay so listen girl.
You see what just happen here, guys and girls both see this point.
You are thinking to much about your bf and blah blah blah because he doesnt have time for you.
See point 1: The guy is being challange on here... Usually most guys are AFC and they would say that about their gf.
Second, she WANTS him more... Why? challange.
Thrid: She keeps thinking, about him what will he do, break up ? lOl...He is being mysterious ...
At the end, Her Attraction for him just increased.
Good job by the guy..
What you should do as a gf is :
Stop calling him, and doing needy things... He will be after you.
'
Play the game.
All this happens at subconsious mind,w here you wont even know.
I am going to tell you something that no one has told you okay so listen girl.
You see what just happen here, guys and girls both see this point.
You are thinking to much about your bf and blah blah blah because he doesnt have time for you.
See point 1: The guy is being challange on here... Usually most guys are AFC and they would say that about their gf.
Second, she WANTS him more... Why? challange.
Thrid: She keeps thinking, about him what will he do, break up ? lOl...He is being mysterious ...
At the end, Her Attraction for him just increased.
Good job by the guy..
What you should do as a gf is :
Stop calling him, and doing needy things... He will be after you.
'
Play the game.
All this happens at subconsious mind,w here you wont even know.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
LICKACLIT: Don't worry boy, I'll be here to help you when you post the standard "Why do Jerks get all girls I want?" AFC topic when you hit 22.
Just for sake of argument, how long should a guy wait for his 'girlfriend' to fvck him? 3 months? 6 months? A year? How long should he wait for her to come around while playing 'boyfriend' for her? How long would it be appropriate for him to wait and not be characterized as an A-Hole if he realized she had hang ups about intimacy? How long should he put off opportunities with other women in favor of one who doesn't reciprocate intimacy when he plays to her sense of entitlement?
The problem is AFCs like you only reinforce this sense of entitlement for women like this by trying to identify with them in a lame effort to prove that you're "not like all those other guys." I'm sure you'd make a great 'friend' for this chick.
Sex is the dealbreaker for guys, that's a fact of life. You'll learn this in time, trust me. You were right about one thing though, relationships should be reciprocal - unfortuantely after 2 months it's her that hasn't reciprocated while this guy'played' boyfriend and it's easier for her call him the A-Hole than look at her own behaviors.
Just for sake of argument, how long should a guy wait for his 'girlfriend' to fvck him? 3 months? 6 months? A year? How long should he wait for her to come around while playing 'boyfriend' for her? How long would it be appropriate for him to wait and not be characterized as an A-Hole if he realized she had hang ups about intimacy? How long should he put off opportunities with other women in favor of one who doesn't reciprocate intimacy when he plays to her sense of entitlement?
The problem is AFCs like you only reinforce this sense of entitlement for women like this by trying to identify with them in a lame effort to prove that you're "not like all those other guys." I'm sure you'd make a great 'friend' for this chick.
Sex is the dealbreaker for guys, that's a fact of life. You'll learn this in time, trust me. You were right about one thing though, relationships should be reciprocal - unfortuantely after 2 months it's her that hasn't reciprocated while this guy'played' boyfriend and it's easier for her call him the A-Hole than look at her own behaviors.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
this is 100 percent true!
Lickaclit
Don Juan
Rollo: I don’t have to prod around asking why the jerks get all the girls because I couldn’t care less about their “wonderful” accomplishment. You seem to think that getting sex from women is some sort of grandiose triumph that even deserves recognition. When you’re 37 and your life is winding down, I’m sure it may seem like life and death. But it is an insignificant aspect of life that is often over-dramatized by know-nothing virgins and sex-driven ignoramuses like you. Your opinion of my particular situation is immaterial.
The rest of your retorts on sex are simple regurgitations of what I already mentioned: …Nevertheless, what you have to understand before coming here, is that sex is the ultimate goal for most of the men and boys here. Attracting a woman isn’t a synonym for a wholesome relationship. Sex is the ultimate end. Therefore, most of the advice is geared towards sex, rather than creating relationships…
I did write that after all.
That being said, I would rather be a one-woman everyman than a pseudo-chauvinist whose sex-drive runs his life, as the so-called bible tries to transform its readers into. It’s a matter of pride. You can use pseudonyms to veil the reality of the situation the bible presents. But, regardless, you are still chasing women down and begging them to get laid—now you have a “system” for it.
Get over yourself.
The rest of your retorts on sex are simple regurgitations of what I already mentioned: …Nevertheless, what you have to understand before coming here, is that sex is the ultimate goal for most of the men and boys here. Attracting a woman isn’t a synonym for a wholesome relationship. Sex is the ultimate end. Therefore, most of the advice is geared towards sex, rather than creating relationships…
I did write that after all.
That being said, I would rather be a one-woman everyman than a pseudo-chauvinist whose sex-drive runs his life, as the so-called bible tries to transform its readers into. It’s a matter of pride. You can use pseudonyms to veil the reality of the situation the bible presents. But, regardless, you are still chasing women down and begging them to get laid—now you have a “system” for it.
Get over yourself.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
LICKACLIT: What's funny is you sound exactly like I did at 19. Let me ask you this, would you enter into an LTR or a marriage if the woman agreed to it on the condition that you would never have sex with her? Or if you were married or in an LTR for a length of time and the woman told you that she would never again have sex with you, would you stay in the relationship?
The problem with your logic is that you'd rather pass insults to cover a deficit in your understanding than attack the argument. You still didn't answer my original question: How long should a guy wait for sex? Indefinitely? Would that prove he's worthy of a 'relationship' with her? Or would that make him a fool? What is a wholesome relationship to you? One where all the responsibilities are on you with no expectation of reciprocation from a woman?
I understand your methods - I was once you. I thought that the more I identified with a girl the better I would stand out from the herd of 'other guys' to get to that idealized 'quality' relationship. I found out that the more I attempted to be what women said they wanted me to be the less desirable I became to them. Likes don't attract likes, opposites are what attract. I made myself the prize and women respected me for it. It's not about tapping the most ass (even though this is an easy misinterpretation when you're a 19 y.o. AFC) it's about tapping the ass that's worth your while. And trust me all the single 30 to 50 year olds who've figured the game out are tapping all of that beautiful 20 something pvssy that wont have anything to do with you at 19. I've been happily married for 9 years, I know what a good relationship is and I have no need to chase tail. What gets me is frustrated chumps like you who get worked up at guys who do get it and are tired of being made out to be A-Holes by AFCs and little girls who have no idea of what's really at work in situations like this because they're blinded by their own misguided notions of what a wholesome relationship is.
So when you can finally pee standing up, you can come back here and have the last word.
The problem with your logic is that you'd rather pass insults to cover a deficit in your understanding than attack the argument. You still didn't answer my original question: How long should a guy wait for sex? Indefinitely? Would that prove he's worthy of a 'relationship' with her? Or would that make him a fool? What is a wholesome relationship to you? One where all the responsibilities are on you with no expectation of reciprocation from a woman?
I understand your methods - I was once you. I thought that the more I identified with a girl the better I would stand out from the herd of 'other guys' to get to that idealized 'quality' relationship. I found out that the more I attempted to be what women said they wanted me to be the less desirable I became to them. Likes don't attract likes, opposites are what attract. I made myself the prize and women respected me for it. It's not about tapping the most ass (even though this is an easy misinterpretation when you're a 19 y.o. AFC) it's about tapping the ass that's worth your while. And trust me all the single 30 to 50 year olds who've figured the game out are tapping all of that beautiful 20 something pvssy that wont have anything to do with you at 19. I've been happily married for 9 years, I know what a good relationship is and I have no need to chase tail. What gets me is frustrated chumps like you who get worked up at guys who do get it and are tired of being made out to be A-Holes by AFCs and little girls who have no idea of what's really at work in situations like this because they're blinded by their own misguided notions of what a wholesome relationship is.
So when you can finally pee standing up, you can come back here and have the last word.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Re: hey
All true except for one thing; all of that is a waste of time since they are already dating... Rather, they WERE dating....lol...
"To deny our own impulses, is to deny the very thing that makes us human."
Mouse from The Matrix.
Man and woman are different and you have to accept that. A Man goes into a relationship with a woman in order to get sex, while a woman have sex with a man in order to have a relationship.
Therefore for a man sex is where everything begins, while for a woman sex is where everything starts. They both equally benefit but each hold a higher value then the other but they both need the same thing.
You have been brainwashed all your life to think like a woman! To feel shamful that you have impulses and to treat women like they are better then us. The feminists keep saying that some men are like animals, if we don't place a higher value on a relationship then sex. As a result You got wussy guys out supplicating women because they think that in order for a women to like them, they would have to think like them. But women yearn for a guy who does not hide his sexuality but embrace it. That is why this website exists! because men have forgetton their nature and as a result are unsuccessful in attracting a girl FOR A RELATIONSHIP. SEX IS THE REWARD REMEMBER THAT!
It has nothing to do with being a jerk, in this world if you want something you have to go get it.
Mouse from The Matrix.
We do not think as often as what we feel. There is a reason why men who get sex from different women are more relaxed and happier, they are fulfilling what nature intended them to do from the start. Denying that or trying to find a logical explanation for it only leads to stress and dissapointment. Why do you think that nature made sex so pleasurable?! its to reward us!
Man and woman are different and you have to accept that. A Man goes into a relationship with a woman in order to get sex, while a woman have sex with a man in order to have a relationship.
Therefore for a man sex is where everything begins, while for a woman sex is where everything starts. They both equally benefit but each hold a higher value then the other but they both need the same thing.
You have been brainwashed all your life to think like a woman! To feel shamful that you have impulses and to treat women like they are better then us. The feminists keep saying that some men are like animals, if we don't place a higher value on a relationship then sex. As a result You got wussy guys out supplicating women because they think that in order for a women to like them, they would have to think like them. But women yearn for a guy who does not hide his sexuality but embrace it. That is why this website exists! because men have forgetton their nature and as a result are unsuccessful in attracting a girl FOR A RELATIONSHIP. SEX IS THE REWARD REMEMBER THAT!
It has nothing to do with being a jerk, in this world if you want something you have to go get it.
Heh.
Well, let me say something: you should wait no more than NOW
In fact, any girl who makes you wait for sex will NOT make other guy she's more into wait for it. -- that make waiting for sex a bad deal for guys.
When you wait insane amounts of time "understanding her" and later you discover she ****ed the jerk that was around and pointed his fingers on her, making her "oh so hot", you'll feel like a dumb ass (like you should).
yuck.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
i have no earthly idea why this thread is up today and not on page ten however i never saw it before.
i have to agree with whoever said ( was that fransico?) adivse wasnt really geared to the one asking for it. i also agree with rollo when i say most people dont like the advise they are given.
i always heard the old wives tale , that if you dont get lucky by the 3rd date, you are never getting lucky with the date.
im also wondering if this guy isnt actually sleeping with someone else that actually hangs out in this group that he doesnt want you to hang out with , because it will "cause problems ".
i wonder what ever became of all this.
i have to agree with whoever said ( was that fransico?) adivse wasnt really geared to the one asking for it. i also agree with rollo when i say most people dont like the advise they are given.
i always heard the old wives tale , that if you dont get lucky by the 3rd date, you are never getting lucky with the date.
im also wondering if this guy isnt actually sleeping with someone else that actually hangs out in this group that he doesnt want you to hang out with , because it will "cause problems ".
i wonder what ever became of all this.
Alphathree
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2005
- Messages
- 405
- Reaction score
- 1
It's called the "she-won't-have-sex-with-me-so-I'll-screw-other-women-until-she-comes-around" game. I play it alllllllllllllllll the time.
So how many other poor men have you prickteased for months before they lost interest?
You have a right to not have sex 'with any man you fancy' (because that would be enjoyable but you'd feel like a sl*t), but if you were my 'gf' and were still keeping your legs together after two months you would fail my fun test and I'd look elsewhere.
I'm guessig most of us men on this site are like me and have never seduced a man before.Originally posted by XtremeRacingDiva
Hey this is my first post so dont flame me.
Everytime I post and ask about a relationship question in female forums the only answer they seem to come up with is dump him and move on but most of them are single so what do they know anyways
Therfore our advice should be suspect.
Maybe find a forum with gay men?
Centaurion
Master Don Juan
I can't believe this thread is 5 pages long, and what's worse, I can't believe I read it all.
*pokes his eyes out*
*pokes his eyes out*
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
Your jumping the gun on conclusions here, Rollo (Usually I never disagree with you on posts but...)
Actually, for STR's that is a very true statement. Very true.
In a person that is looking for an LTR on the other hand, he might look for that personality and looks. Right there is two traits that I looked for when I was searching for an LTR. Looks were not high in my list but there must be some physical attractiveness (actually nevermind. I just agreed with you damnit).
------------------------------------------------
Penkitten about the whole three dates thing as well. I disagree the fullest on that statement as well because in my relationship it took me over a month
to get my girlfriend to even kiss me. I used confidence persistence. Guess what? I got into a relationship with her and we have a lot of intimacy in our relationship. I just knew that I could get it and I went after it. Trust me that statement is false or I was the exception to the rule. I don't know.DJ_in_making
Master Don Juan
Holy F*cken sh*t! A woman comes here and asks for advice on guys and she gets 5 (6 including mine) damn pages, on the other hand some guys ask for DJ advice and no one's there to help them out.
SHAME ON YOU!!!
SHAME ON YOU!!!