Female here asking for advice from guys

[Wyldfire]

After reading more...if you almost never go out and he doesn't include you in his life or spend much time with you my guess would be that he is using you as a "booty call"...someone he can depend on to be available to use at his convenience. If you aren't happy with what you're getting out of the situation you need to end it and move on.

 

[XtremeRacingDiva]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi

The reason I asked what you look like is because you stated you began as 'friends'. When a woman gets involved (rarely) from the friends state it's usually the guy that has become the objective of the girl. This is classic 'chubby girl' behavior. Just like guys in the LJBF state, she becomes the friend in an effort to 'win him over', only to later find out that he's not that into her. Even when a thicky spreads her legs for a guy he'll hit it (given enough motivation), but often that's not enough to keep his interest in a relationship.

I doubt this is the case. A few reason why we were friends first was because I belive in friendship before getting committed. We became friends and throughout the year we dated on and off.. He just became to busy with his work and all, but what I look like doesnt have anything to do with this, but FYI I am 5'1 125lbs asian chick that rides a super cool sport bike

Wyldfire is right

But my problems seems to be now that I have pulled so far away from him that some other guy has been giving me the attention and this guy is totally falling for me. Yeah I like him too.. and he gives me time and teaches me with alot of support... But I dont like him like I like my boyfriend.

Some of you guys make me sound like I am constantly calling him and begging him to come see me. Well that is not the case, I work full time and have a bunch of hobbies. I play tennis, I ride sport bikes, go to motorcycle races and have been an umbrella girl in a few of them. I have my own place and doing pretty well for myself.

It just seems to me like he could include me into some of his activities..since we both ride bikes... but then again he said he doesnt want me hanging around with crowd of people he hangs around.

 

[XtremeRacingDiva]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
After reading more...if you almost never go out and he doesn't include you in his life or spend much time with you my guess would be that he is using you as a "booty call"...someone he can depend on to be available to use at his convenience. If you aren't happy with what you're getting out of the situation you need to end it and move on.

I have thought about this too but we havent had sex yet

 

[frivolousz21]

if I had a gf..and she decided not to call me for 3 days????

and im supposed to be like..OH IM A MAN! I DONT CARE..ILL GO HAVE SEX WITH THE NEXT BROAD WHO COMES MY WAY!

GET THE **** OUT OF HERE.

my girlfriend is not only my LOVER, she is my friend!

but have it ur way..I know my way works..just because I am sweet and show emotion doenst mean..im less of a man or some clingy desperate *****....

i feel sorry for teh guys who cant show there feelings because they are afraid to fail!

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by XtremeRacingDiva
I doubt this is the case. A few reason why we were friends first was because I belive in friendship being getting committed. We became friends and throughout the year we dated on and off.. He just became to busy with his work and all, but what I look like doesnt have anything to do with this, but FYI I am 5'1 125lbs asian chick that rides a super cool sport bike

Wyldfire is right

But my problems seems to be now that I have pulled so far away from him that some other guy has been giving me the attention and this guy is totally falling for me. Yeah I like him too.. and he gives me time and teaches me with alot of support... But I dont like him like I like my boyfriend.

Some of you guys make me sound like I am constantly calling him and begging him to come see me. Well that is not the case, I work full time and have a bunch of hobbies. I play tennis, I ride sport bikes, go to motorcycle races and have been an umbrella girl in a few of them. I have my own place and doing pretty well for myself.

It just seems to me like he could include me into some of his activities..since we both ride bikes... but then again he said he doesnt want me hanging around with crowd of people he hangs around.

If he doesn't want you to hang around with the crowd of people he is hanging around with he is either afraid his friends will hit on you or he is ashamed of your relationship or there is someone else he's trying to get with in the group. I mean, what guy doesn't want to spend his birthday with his girlfriend?

Are you attracted to this other guy? If you are then you should open your heart up to him because he IS making time for you.

What is it that you like about your boyfriend? My guess would be that the main reason you want him is because he's unavailable to you. I mean, he's not treating you very good and wants to keep you tucked away privately for the occassional time when he feels like seeing you (probably for a quick romp in the sack before driving off into the night until the next time). Bottom line is that you aren't happy, aren't getting what you want out of the relationship and you're being played.

In the meantime, here is this other guy that is giving you all the things your boyfriend isn't giving to you...and he's doing it because all he wants is to be with you. Save yourself the wasted time and heartache that comes with chasing after an emotionally unavailable man and give the guys who want to treat you well a chance.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Tempest
Wrong, man. Wrong, wrong, WRONG! The advice which I supplied applies the EXACT same to women. Marie, from the DYD Interview series suggests the SAME THINGS to women.

You're saying if a woman is CLINGY and NEEDY towards you that it's attractive? Give me a break! These aren't strict rules which only apply to men here... it's part of HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY. It applies to HUMANS, not just males.

Anyways, my evidence is supported by psychology research, David DeAngelo, and Marie, from the interview series (who teaches this stuff for women).

Your beliefs are too logical and based off what your mom probably told you or what you saw on tv. Change your beliefs, man. I supose my advice on getting a life is terrible, too!

This is based off of EXPERIENCE. Get in the field, man! Get a life!

I am not saying that a woman being overly clingy and needy is a good thing. But as a man I like women to be that way sometimes. The more I can focus on being the strong protector and not the nurturer of the relationship the happier I am. When a woman takes on her role as the nuturer my relationships work out great. As a man I am not responsible for building the relationship that is her job. In fact I don't even think in terms of "The relationship".

I can also tell you that I DO find it attractive when a girl is all over me. The more she acts like an emotional female the more attraction I have for her. The more she turns me on the happier I am. But if she starts to become demanding that I spend a lot of time with then I get pissed off.

In fact I find it attractive when a woman acts like woman and doesn't try to act unnatural. I also wouldn’t' want a woman who plays your stupid "attraction games". In the end they are shallow and pointless. Sure they might get you a quick lay but that is all.

My last gf tried the **** that you are suggesting and I found her less and less attractive as time went on. She started reading the articles and books that you have and it destroyed everything good about our relationship.

All I have to say about modern books and experts is "F-UCK THAT".

Just be a man and be yourself. If you are a woman be a woman.

A woman is most attrative to a man when she is affectionate and nurturing. Affection shouldn’t be mistaken for being clingly. A lot of women revoke their affection because they are afraid that they will seem too clingly. This only backfires on them and then the man doesn' t want anything to do with them.

I don't want a woman who is strong! I want a woman who is affectionate. That is the natural order of things.

These shrinks that you worship are not always right and your interpretation of their analysis on attraction is most likely flawed.

The fact remains that men and women are attracted to different things. You can't reject that concept. So you can take all your gender bending concepts of attraction and flush them down the drain with your tampon.

You may not like girly girls, but I love them

 

[XtremeRacingDiva]

I have met a few of his friends but most of the group are stunnterz.. they ride bikes..run from the police.. pop wheelies in traffic you know the kind of guys that end up dead. He also says that with me joining his group or telling people we are together it will cause problems. Of course guys would try harder to hit on me just because I am with him and the girls would really hate on me because I have him.

He says he's spending time with his daughter on his birthday.. I am not really pressing this issue because its only been 2 months with us and his daughter has been there longer.

Some of the reasons I like my boyfriend so much is when we are together he makes me laugh. He knows me.. when I am mad he makes me smile... when I am stressed he makes it go away... we have good fun conversations and I feel so safe around him.

still

 

[frivolousz21]

I agree with what u just said Kevin..same goes for me

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by XtremeRacingDiva
I have thought about this too but we havent had sex yet

Okay...this might be why he's giving you the cold shoulder. Is there a reason you haven't had sex with him? At 23, unless you are uber-religious then after two months you probably should have already had sex...at least in most cases.

Has your boyfriend made any moves to try to have sex with you?

At the same time...if you're hesitant to have sex with him because you aren't feeling like he even gives a damn about you then you need to communicate that very clearly to him.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by XtremeRacingDiva
I have met a few of his friends but most of the group are stunnterz.. they ride bikes..run from the police.. pop wheelies in traffic you know the kind of guys that end up dead. He also says that with me joining his group or telling people we are together it will cause problems. Of course guys would try harder to hit on me just because I am with him and the girls would really hate on me because I have him.

He says he's spending time with his daughter on his birthday.. I am not really pressing this issue because its only been 2 months with us and his daughter has been there longer.

Some of the reasons I like my boyfriend so much is when we are together he makes me laugh. He knows me.. when I am mad he makes me smile... when I am stressed he makes it go away... we have good fun conversations and I feel so safe around him.

still

I honestly think that you are just overracting a bit.

Just relax and go with the flow. Try your best to show affection.

A month or two from now make a judgment call. If this guy isn't into you dispite all the affection and attention you have shown then move on. Just don't play games. You have to let him know how it feels to have your affection. Don't play stupid attraction games and just be patient and kind.

 

[XtremeRacingDiva]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Okay...this might be why he's giving you the cold shoulder. Is there a reason you haven't had sex with him? At 23, unless you are uber-religious then after two months you probably should have already had sex...at least in most cases.

Has your boyfriend made any moves to try to have sex with you?

At the same time...if you're hesitant to have sex with him because you aren't feeling like he even gives a damn about you then you need to communicate that very clearly to him.

bascially I havent seen him long enough to have sex with him. Most of the time we are out at his job while they are working on my bike or if he's over my place our friends come over.

When we are together he does feel on me in public all the time and it's cute. A few times we are in the car together and I am driving he will pull it out and make me grab it... but I am like WTH I am driving here but I play along with it....

Hey lookie here girlie I havent had sex in 3 months I am ready to rip his clothes off when I see him :crackup: :crackup:

I have to admit though he has been trying. He said[/] he was going to try and spend more time with me... but we will see

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Okay...this might be why he's giving you the cold shoulder. Is there a reason you haven't had sex with him? At 23, unless you are uber-religious then after two months you probably should have already had sex...at least in most cases.

Has your boyfriend made any moves to try to have sex with you?

At the same time...if you're hesitant to have sex with him because you aren't feeling like he even gives a damn about you then you need to communicate that very clearly to him.

yes if a girl doesn't make a grab for my balls when I'm alone with her then I lose all sense of attraction for her.

Women you have to keep the affection going.

with actions please!

 

[XtremeRacingDiva]

Originally posted by Muppet
You sound JUST like me a few weeks ago. I was kinda always wanting to spend time with my G/F /friend of 2 years. She was always busy and had a lot more of a life then I did. And I kinda made her lose the feelings cause I was a bit to clingy/smuthering.

Well if he doesnt work out for ya I am free =) No bike yet though.

:crackup:

so you wanan ride huh??

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by XtremeRacingDiva
I have met a few of his friends but most of the group are stunnterz.. they ride bikes..run from the police.. pop wheelies in traffic you know the kind of guys that end up dead. He also says that with me joining his group or telling people we are together it will cause problems. Of course guys would try harder to hit on me just because I am with him and the girls would really hate on me because I have him.

He says he's spending time with his daughter on his birthday.. I am not really pressing this issue because its only been 2 months with us and his daughter has been there longer.

Some of the reasons I like my boyfriend so much is when we are together he makes me laugh. He knows me.. when I am mad he makes me smile... when I am stressed he makes it go away... we have good fun conversations and I feel so safe around him.

still

Why couldn't he spend time with both you and his daughter on his birthday? There is 24 hours in a day, afterall. This guy is feeding you one excuse after another.

If he were really into you he would make time for you.

 

[XtremeRacingDiva]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Why couldn't he spend time with both you and his daughter on his birthday? There is 24 hours in a day, afterall. This guy is feeding you one excuse after another.

If he were really into you he would make time for you.

well he asked me to have lunch with him but I told him I cant its friday and I am usually busy at work...

And he works all day till about 7pm

Guess he did make time for me... just I wasnt available

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by XtremeRacingDiva
bascially I havent seen him long enough to have sex with him. Most of the time we are out at his job while they are working on my bike or if he's over my place our friends come over.

When we are together he does feel on me in public all the time and it's cute. A few times we are in the car together and I am driving he will pull it out and make me grab it... but I am like WTH I am driving here but I play along with it....

Hey lookie here girlie I havent had sex in 3 months I am ready to rip his clothes off when I see him :crackup: :crackup:

I have to admit though he has been trying. He said[/] he was going to try and spend more time with me... but we will see

Okay...here's what you do...next time he comes over kick the friends out, drag him to the bedroom and screw his brains out. If that doesn't light a spark under his a$$ and bring him around more then dump him.

 

[XtremeRacingDiva]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Okay...here's what you do...next time he comes over kick the friends out, drag him to the bedroom and screw his brains out. If that doesn't light a spark under his a$$ and bring him around more then dump him.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Making a mental note of that

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Okay...here's what you do...next time he comes over kick the friends out, drag him to the bedroom and screw his brains out. If that doesn't light a spark under his a$$ and bring him around more then dump him.

now that is some seriously good advice.

 

[NewMan]

This guy is into doing his thang...

He hasn't had sex with you....

Has he pushed the issue?

Because what I wonder is, if he's not getting it from you, who is he getting it from?

I suspect he just see's you as a cool chick to hang with and whatever. But I don't think he see's you as serious relationship material. That's my guess.

For a start, you have not been to dinner in over a month.

Has he taken you out anywhere else?


When a guy is into you - he will want to spend SOME time with you.

I understand that he does his thing on the weekends - but I'd think that he's want to hook up with you on week days and you would DO something....

 

[XtremeRacingDiva]

yes he wants to have sex with me yes he has pressed the issue..

I dunno if he is getting it from someone else...

We been to a few other places but not like a date...we went bike shopping together...I came up to his job a few times to check on the status of my bike and we went out to like diary queen or something to get a bite to eat...

maybe I am over reacting