Yo TG,
TMK at your service.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. It is useful for other people, even if they don’t say so.
I’m going to make a couple of observations about what you’ve written and may be make some suggestions, but please just take them or leave them.
1) Having only gone through the last two entries, you seem to talk a lot about
other people in your posts, your way you relate to them all, the way you go out to meet others, the arguments you have with your mother, etc. you say that you need you best mate as a wing man to approach women.
Without wishing to state the obvious (I will anyway), this demonstrates a very low level of self-esteem and confidence in yourself. Most of what you relate about yourself is
associated with others and especially alluding to their opinions of you.
Please believe me when I say, it doesn’t matter what other people think of you. It doesn’t matter what you are to nor what you do with other people. What matters is YOU, in relation to yourself, first and foremost. People will come, people will go. But you will always be with yourself, so work on that happiness first and foremost. Work on being happy, content and confident while you are ALONE (I have provided some suggestions in Point 3). This, I promise, will very quickly translate in to your relationships with others, especially women.
For the time being, go out when you want, and not simply because you want to meet others to validate you. Focus on your own self worth; it’s something that is going to be on-going for the rest of your life, trust me. As far as confidence and self worth are concerned, I’d rate myself at a good 8 or 9/10, but I still work on becoming a better person and maintaining my worth every day, whether it be simply learning something new or exercising, or indeed passing on some advise – can you see how that makes me happy and valid with myself, FIRST, before I am seeking the validation of other people?
2) You say that you still argue with you mother.
READ THIS ARTICLE, AND ACT ON IT -
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/...-step-closer-to-being-the-man-you-want-to-be/
You are very unlikely to have a completely healthy romantic relationship with another woman if you do not have a stable relationship with your own mother. My mum and I used to fight like cat and dog, and about the most ridiculous things. Then one day I told her what for; I said we were never to have another argument because I can quite easily walk away from the situation, as a grown man. It take strength and ultimately a respect for the woman and relationship to do this, but I did it. And it worked. I’ve never had another disagreement with her.
And I know I never will. And, my romantic prospects have gotten better in the mean time. I am well-known (previously) for my short fuse; but now I never want to have another argument with another woman (or man for that matter). In fact, two weeks ago I ended up playing peace-keeper between my flatmates! Though I got really riled inside and felt the adrenaline and cortisol burning in my chest, I called the time out and controlled the situation rather beautifully, if I do say so myself.
3) You say that you want to be able to have long and meaningful conversations with people.
You want to have more interesting conversations; you want more friends and better relations with your family; You want to meet more, sexy, beautiful, fun women and you want to be a better person all round, right? Try some of these things, things for yourself first, and not people:
-Read. When you have knowledge that you can recall, about any number of things, you will have more interesting things to say and the more in-depth conversation you will feel confident to take part in and wisdom you will be able to pass on. Take time to be by yourself and appreciate our own company; once you appreciate your own company, you will realise that others can too.
-Exercise. A healthy body = a healthy mind. And you can’t just ‘work out’. You have to make yourself physically EXHAUSTED at least once a week in order to achieve that ever important adrenal-boost; and it keep you in shape. Do (at least) 40 push-ups a day; you never know when that upper body strength might come in useful, if you know what I’m saying ;u)
-Do go out and meet people. But remember it’s always on your terms. And you are there for their entertainment as much they are there for yours. They are there to enjoy your company, not to prop up your self esteem. Enjoy yourself first and others will enjoy you too.
-Do not be afraid to be silly and childish. I am learning to be playful again and mess around; you enjoy yourself and you give others a funny story to tell. Last time I went to the beach I jumped in the sea with all my clothes on. Deep meaningful conversations have their place, but then so does fun.
Lastly, though Wolverine is a hero of mine, pain is not what should drive you. GLORY is what drives you. Even when you fail, over and over, the next prospect of Glory is what should drive you. See my signature.
