hammahamma said:
It just seems like you have a ton of charisma and confidence. I read a couple other journals and these guys are acting as if they never even saw this site, but you're actually applying the stuff from this site, and it seems to be working. You said you want to be the life of the party, and the funny thing is that when i read ur posts, that's exactly how i picture you. Another thing that i found awesome was when you said you started puberty very late. I had the same problem, although not as late as you (end of my freshman year in hs), but it really hurt my confidence. Here I am, 6'3 tall, 170 lbs, but I still feel like a kid sometimes because I grew so late. You seem pretty undaunted by the whole thing though, and you just seem to keep improving your game and not worrying about it. Good stuff, man. It's great to see something like this on a board where a lot of people are so depressing.
God it feels really good to hear someone appreictae this so much. Really. To take the time to post a couple quality reply's is great.
The thing is though, I dont feel like I am the life of the party. I want to be the center of attention the whole time.. I want people to be excited to see me and run up and give me a hug because I'm such a good person to be around.
I see this happening with other guys my age... maybe im focusing on that only because I doubt that all dudes my age have people running up to them and giving them hugs all excited n such.
--
Day Seventeen
9/6/06
I've realized recently that if I am not the center of attention it bugs me. I dont know whats wrong with me. I dont really think to myself "Uh oh im not the center of attention..." but it just kind of happens.
I get these random bursts of energy and I will run up to my buddies at work and karate chop them in the hip or something goofy like that.
I was eating a big slice of a watermelon today at work during my break and I was just devouring it and making a mess all over my face and watermelon juice driping all over the place. It made everyone laugh and it made me feel good. So I seem to get more energy from that and I said "This is how i go down on girls" and I tore into the watermelon with my teeth and made a chomp sound. Then I was pretended to yell into the watermelon (which I was pretending was a p*ssy) and I said "IS ANYONE IN THERE?!" (I got this from Dane Cook.. h was talking about how a girl wanted him to go down on her and he yelled at iut and such hahaha funny stuff)
But anyway, after the few people in the break room, a chick my age, and two 21 year olds, were busting up laughing and calling me crazy.
I'm not sure if this is good or not.. I sort of feel like they were laughing at me rather then with me. I feel like i just made a fool out of myself. Dont get me wrong I like t obe goofy... but maybe I take it too far? Maybe I come off as weird when I do hyper ****. No one is weirded out by me or anything, they all like me at work a lot. I just wonder if I am doing the wrong types of things to make people laugh.. I'm kind of confused.
Aside from that, today was my first day at school for the year. I was walking with my head up as opposed to last year when i walked with my head down without really realizing it. I would kino all the guys I knew from last year. Jokingly titty twister, etc. No kino in a sexual way obviously... just buddy sh*t.
I rubbed a HB8's hair who used to be my co-worker and I've known for about a year. She slapped me very hard on the chest (it actually hurt!
) and I did a kind of half smile half cant believe you just did that look as I touched the spot she hit me. And I said "Gah that wasnt very nice! "
I saw her again waiting in line with me for the counseling office. We playfully gave eachother the eye and I held out my fist for her to pound it. She smiled and said "No, I'm mad at you." I replied with my fist still out "So youre just going to leave me hangin?"
"Yeah"
I sat there for a second looking at her then reached and pounded her fist myself and laughed as if I tricked her because she didnt want to.
I left the line at some point and came back. I stood next to her and she was like "What you think yorue gunna cut me? :rock: " or something liek that... and I playfully replied: "well you gotta be quick!"
I always like to compare myself to what I would of done before when I was an AFC. Something like "Oh, sorry" and move out of the way.
The road to Don Juanism is much more fun
--
I was placed into a german 3rd year class by mistake. I didnt sign up for it. I wasnt able to change the schedule today so I had to go to all the classes that I didnt sign up for. When I got to class I sat by some of my buds. Someone mentioned somehting about foreign exchanged students from germany being there in our class. This got me interested. I pointed to a girl that was propbably a hb7, the most cute german there and asked my buddy if she was a foreign exchanged student. He said yes, a hot one.
I think I'm a sucker for social proof. I dont know if its bad or not. I could find a girl kind of cute but if a guy calls her hot im more interested in her. Is this the same with anyone else?
So in this case I was thinking wow shes hot, and when he aggreed, I decided I would try to game on her.
Now I cant speak any german. I'm terrible so it was a little embarrasing but I didnt show any embarresment. We were numbered off into groups and one german student came to each table. The hb7 german came to mine. I took all this as a sign to do something with her. I wasnt able to talk to her because we were doing these stupid interviews in german... I got her name and **** that way but im not looking to interview a chick to get to know her.
So I think tommorow if I have an opportunity I will talk to her if there's free time during or after class and ask her if she wants to grab some icecream before she goes back to germany as long as im feeling the vibes.
Now its pointless to bring her on a date since shes from germany but I want to anyway. She doesnt speak english perfectly so it could be interesting.
I figure I will try sopme new stuff on her since shes going back to germany I dont have anything to lose. Then I realize I never have anything to lose
. So I have to remember to keep that attitude.
So we'll see if i cant get a day to hang out with her.
I really dont know how I am going to game on a foreign tha doesnt speak english well. ****y and funny she probably wouldnt understand what I mean.
Kino kino kino I guess?
Any suggestions?
I'll keep you updated
