Do i have a right to be pissed off at her?

[Climax]

errr...

Originally posted by Wyldfire
No, I'm not even remotely confused about what is going on here...not in the least.

1) They agreed to "do something" together on the weekend. They did NOT make solid, specific plans to do something at any set time. They did not vow to spend every moment of the weekend together. It was up in the air.

2) As is common in life...an interesting opportunity came up for her to do something fun that she obviously wanted to do. Since she and her boyfriend did not have set plans for this specific time, she figured what the heck...I wanna go. She most likely figured he would want to go to and likely would have invited him IF he had of handled himself better.

3) He got angry, defensive, sulky and said something to hurt her feelings and make her feel guilty. Being a normal female, her instinctive reaction to that was to return the "favor". That is what MOST women tend to do...like it or not. So, the first thing that popped into her head was to pull the "You don't love me" stuff. Yes, that was a low blow and wrong...no one is saying it wasn't. However, rather than just take the easy route and play the "blame the chick" game, you MUST look at what you can control...your OWN behavior and reactions. To avoid this kind of thing from happening you HAVE to take responsibility for your own behavior and the part you play in your own damn misery.

4) His girlfriend isn't the one posting here asking for advice and input. He can't control what she says and does. This forum isn't a place to sit around and biotch about women. It is a place for guys to learn how to deal with women better. What the heck is he going to learn from you coddling him and blaming his girlfriend when even he knows full well that he's not without fault in this? You aren't helping him one damn bit.

5) Bottom line...he was emotional and reacted poorly to a very minor issue. Right, wrong or indifferent he NEEDS to get a handle on that and the only way to do that is for people to be honest with him and for him to be honest with himself.

Now, junior...you would be wise to stop arguing with me over this because you are wrong. I've just demonstrated quite clearly and effectively why you are wrong. Furthermore...just get past the fact that I'm a woman and speak to me in the same way you do the men on here and I won't feel compelled to chew you up and spit you out in the future.

Your are over reacting in what u think i did.. i NEVER made a huige deal of it, it was a 10 minute argument where i pointed out to her what i was not happy with and made it clear to her that i would not put up with that b.s... its not like i made this huge scene about it....

And as far as me having conrtol, i still KNOW that i have all the control that i need, and no, she DOESNT think that she can get away with it, and YES, she did learn her lesson, and that lesson is not to treat me like i come 2nd place.

I actually saw her at school today and we were perfectly fine, actually, i felt closer to her eve MORE today than i did before, and the same with her (she told me)

I guess that we can only LEARn from fights and strive to a "perfect" relationship, which i believe that isnt very far away


Laterz...

 

[Climax]

kewlies...

Originally posted by biker_gixxer
Wyldfire: i DID take some of your "advice" about how i SHOULD of acted, and i DO realise that i should of maybe handled this in a little more "calm" manner, but i am just human, and like i said before, some things just blow my fuse, and she just hit one of my fuses i guess

Nice! I'm all about putting a girl in her place, but HOW you do it is much more important then the act itself. I have latin blood, so believe me, I use to be very quick to react when i felt like i was being 'disrespected', lol.

Quick note to always remember: Never let a girl know when she has 'blown your fuse'. Once a girl finds out what irritates you or gets under your skin, she'll use that $hit aganist you. Someting to think about. Look luck brotha!

Many thanx man and you are right, i shoulnt let her "know" what blows my fuse, but with this girl i like to always be honest with her, i like being open with her, cause i dont expect her to USE my "weak points" against me, seeing as that we DO love eachother. So i tell her what i feel, i tell her what i have a problem with, etc... and so far being this open with her has worked great! cause she knows exactly what i disslike and will try and not do it again, and the same applies with her... i trust her fully, and she trusts me fully.. she tells me things that she would never even tell her best friends... i think you guys get the idea of how close we are, but once again i DO admitt that maybe i DID "over-react" JUST abit, but i'll know foe next time to handle the situation in a "calmer" manner

but once again... thanx to all for the replies, even you Wyldfire, i know ur just trying to help and "knock some sence into me", but there is no need for that with this one


Laterz...

 

[NewMan]

Sorry,

This relationship is over.

Maybe not next week, or the week after - but it is over.

This will not end. It will happen again, and again and again.

You all misunderstand what being an Alpha male is all about.

if you think it's about *****ing and whinning - and laying guilt trips, and dropping ultimatums and warnings and threats of it'll be over next time - you are way off. That is what AFC and insecure guys do.

It should never get that far.

If it does - you walk out. you don't threaten a woman to treat you like you THINK you should be treated. She treats you well or she doesn't. Nothing you will say or do will change that.

 

[Climax]

ahahhaha... NO!

Originally posted by NewMan
Sorry,

This relationship is over.

Maybe not next week, or the week after - but it is over.

This will not end. It will happen again, and again and again.

You all misunderstand what being an Alpha male is all about.

if you think it's about *****ing and whinning - and laying guilt trips, and dropping ultimatums and warnings and threats of it'll be over next time - you are way off. That is what AFC and insecure guys do.

It should never get that far.

If it does - you walk out. you don't threaten a woman to treat you like you THINK you should be treated. She treats you well or she doesn't. Nothing you will say or do will change that.

NewMan: she is still young (16, turning 17 in a few months) hence her impulsive behaviour... its got nothing to do with her "treating me bad" on PURPOSE, she is just careless and impulsive atm, much like most girls at her age... and i'm sure that with a little time, she will mature and be less impulsive. When she does these "hurtfull" things she is not doing it on purpose or trying to put me through any tests or ANYTHING of that sort, so all i am trying to do is point out to her where she is going wrong/what i dont like, and HELP her to be less impulsive and just THINK before doing things. And so far me and her have been through alot, and after pointing out her mistakes in the past (and visa versa) we have not repeated our mistakes again (the SAME mistakes again)... and we hardly EVER have any fights or arguments etc... so i garantee you that out relationship is FAR from over But i guess you are entitled to your opinion, so yeah, we shall see


Laterz...

 

[NewMan]

16 is to young to be in a relationship like this.


Why at that age do you want a GF?

You should be hitting as much tail as you can.

16 yr old are supposed to be impulsive.

They are supposed to go out with their boys/girls.

They are supposed to experience things.

They are supposed to make mistakes - they are finding themselves.


You getting pi##ed at stupid sh#t like this will push her away.

 

[Climax]

Originally posted by NewMan
16 is to young to be in a relationship like this.


Why at that age do you want a GF?

You should be hitting as much tail as you can.

16 yr old are supposed to be impulsive.

They are supposed to go out with their boys/girls.

They are supposed to experience things.

They are supposed to make mistakes - they are finding themselves.


You getting pi##ed at stupid sh#t like this will push her away.

i have gotten MORE than enough women in my lifetime...

and when u say: "You getting pi##ed at stupid sh#t like this will push her away." ---> read my above posts about what i said that i would do about this, and in the future... i KNOW that i will be pushing her away... thats why i said that i would deal with things in a more "calm" manner in the future, amongst other things that i mentoins in previous posts


Laterz...

 

[Wyldfire]

aequita...I think what he's trying to say is that because you've reacted badly in this relationship that the chances of you being able to alter your behavior with this girl really aren't so good.

Bottom line...you've learned a valuable lesson here and have identified a problem area that needs work. Rather than be defensive and/or try to save face on the forum...just get to work on making the adjustments you need to.

The only hope you have for maintaining this relationship at this point is to start encouraging her to do something with her friends sometimes...like once a month. You're going to have to do things that will prove (by your actions) to her that this is NOT a weak spot for you. If you don't do this, everytime she is upset with you over the least little thing she is going to use this behavior to put the digs to you. Girls tend to "Give a guy a dose of his own medicine" whenever their feelings get hurt. Since she knows where to dig, that's right where she'll go each time she's upset with you. If you're smart, you'll take it off the table as a way to get to you.

 

[Climax]

Fankies...

i know what i did wrong, and i know what i need to do.. so all is good.. thanx for your input all


Laterz...