Do guys prefer to be asked out on dates?

[bigneil]

A man needs to work with whatever "in" the woman gives him.

Without formally asking a man for a date, a woman can subtly offer him an opportunity. Then (if he is smooth and she is willing) he can quickly turn it into something romantic. I just moved to a new town and here are some examples of women who made it easy for me:

Girl A (a dealer at the casino) immediately put her cheek out for me to kiss her and she gave me her casino card as I sat down. I said "Are there pictures of you on your web site?" and she said "Yes, you can follow me!" so I agreed. The next morning I was able to send her a message online and she replied. It quickly led to a date.

Girl B (a barmaid), the second time I saw her, remembered exact details of our first conversation, already had a name for me ("You're my soft talker" she said) and (without my asking) told me her work schedule with precision, so I said "I don't want to leave anything to chance. Write your number down for me."

Girl C (a stripper) complimented a particular garment I had and said she was a "fashion snob" and that she made her own clothing (she later showed me her hand-crafted underwear).

Girl D (a cashier) commented on how one of the movies I was buying was good, and just "looked a little too long" as I was leaving. In this case I have rehearsed my next "act" when I see her next. (If the man fails to seize these moments, all is lost).

Girl E (health food merchant at the grocery store) showed me the product she was selling and handed me her card as we were talking. Acting skeptical, I told her I had to go and research it online and as I was leaving I asked: "Is your email on your card?" "Yes". "Should I write to you?" "Yes". "Are you single?" "Yes".

If no such "green light" is provided to the man, he should remain idle. In the above scenarios, with the woman offering and the man watching for buying signals (which come either directly or indirectly through body language), neither party is ever rejected. If there are formal events then simply offering dates is appropriate. "I am going to this place at this time if you'd like to join me". But then go either way.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Word! Couldn't agree more. We are meeting on monday! I would love to give him a kiss after the date but don't know if that's too full on? Opinions?

So OP, it's working out so far initially?

 

[jafyk]

Word! Couldn't agree more. We are meeting on monday! I would love to give him a kiss after the date but don't know if that's too full on? Opinions?[/QUOTE=djgirl]

Ok, let me ask you this? Are you just solely trying to bang this guy or would you possibly something more serious down the line? Anyway, I'd suggest perhaps give him signs and kino and gauge how interested he is in you. If it's clear that he's really into you. I guess there's no harm in going for the kiss. If it's a sort of 60% interest on his part perhaps you should lead him in the right direction and let him make the final move.

If he's the chasing type of guys (like some of the posters above) then perhaps you should give him the thrill of the chase. Personally, if it were me and I was interesting in just banging a girl and I had nothing else to loose regardless of the outcome. I'd go for it. From the questions you asked earlier you seem like you'd be the kind to be hurt if the moves aren't reciprocated. So, perhaps you would be better off following my advice above.

Let me share a story real quick. I was once seeing a girl. We liked each other and had kissed in private. If I know a lot of the things I know now. I would've handled things differently. Anyway, one night we had left class and I walked her to her car and she wanted to kiss me. I got nervous and turned her down and she got mad, said something offensive and left. I believe we saw each other sometime after that but things were never quite the same nor heading towards that romantic zone. So, why did I turn her down (1) I was not a very PDA kind of person (2) Especially if I haven't 100% decided I'm committing to the girl. Maybe it's because kissing says a lot more than just holding hands (3) What if someone I knew saw us? If I had decided she was my girl then it wouldn't matter (4) If I kissed her publicly that night she might have assumed we were together before I could even make up my mind and I didn't want to hurt her if I felt different about her afterwards. These were my reasons.

Today, I've grown more than back then. I realize now that "Who cares?" if someone I knew saw me. It still regret missing out on that moment because looking back she was a fun girl. The kind that I did the goofy things around and didn't have to pretend to be cool around. Now I prefer to live my life in the moment and worry about certain things later (or live in the moment while planning for the future).

 

[djgirl]

Thanks for the replies!

Yeah I would like to eventually be in a relationship with him but if it didn't go down that road then I wouldn't say no to banging him either lol.

I guess the reason why I'm asking is because I wouldn't to be too full on and I don't want anything coming back to my family. I know he is a bit shy, so I don't know whether he will make the first move

 

[jafyk]

Oh, well if he's the shy kind then make the move if he doesn't make it towards the end. Perhaps you can add some kino leading up to all that to make him comfortable (or get the idea) while leading him in that direction. If you end up having to make the move. You should just tell him you are not normally like that but you are really into him. I'm a bit concerned this man might bore you in the long run unless you are exaggerating about him being shy etc.

 

[VladPatton]

All these posts on this thread, all of them, just goes to show how shy guys don't get jack shıt done. Something to think about, fellas.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

All these posts on this thread, all of them, just goes to show how shy guys don't get jack shıt done. Something to think about, fellas.

ya at least the shy guy can make the second or third move after the girl has made it blatantly obvious she is into him, I guess there are different levels of shyness

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Ya so I don't see it should be so one-sided

 

[djgirl]

Update: he canceled on me today saying he couldn't make it but would be in touch. Is he not that interested? Pretty upset over it. I also don't know if I wanna be with someone who is married to their jobs

 

[3agle 3yes]

What many guys don't understand is the fact that men and women are NOT the same.

We have DIFFERENT body parts, we get turned on DIFFERENTLY and we are also expect DIFFERENT things from relationships.

So, simply telling a woman to do something you would is just STUPID.

How many guys here have had a woman ask them out? And how often has it happened?

Over the years I've had girls (whom I don't know) grope me, say outright perverted things to me out of nowhere and these girls have almost always been...at best, average looking.

The more attractive ones have approached me too, but it was generally much more subtle (making a comment about something other than the way I look). Yes, obviously they were interested but they were giving me the opportunity to open THEM (flirt etc).

One approach is clumsy and desperate, the other is sensible...

The first one is clumsy and desperate because most women don't go looking for ONS, whilst many men do...if a woman came up to you, chatted you up, gave you her number and even tried to arrange a "date" without you doing much 95% of men would immediately be thinking "easy sex"...

A woman expecting more than sex would be stupid to use this approach...once she has been banged she should not expect to hear from him again...unless he is horny. Either that, or the man she approached is a complete pvssy and this would setup their entire relationship (her making 100% of the decisions).

The second one is sensible because she is making it easier but at the same time letting you turn her on. If you can't take this opportunity and maintain a conversation with her then you're probably a pvssy and I don't need to tell anyone here how off-putting this is for women.

A woman is INTERESTED if a man is good-looking, but she only becomes ATTRACTED if he behaves like a man.

However, in THIS case this girl can ask the guy on a date outright, because she already knows him, which is a different case entirely...

But my point is generally the best a girl can do is make herself available...

 

[JaegerPilot217]

What many guys don't understand is the fact that men and women are NOT the same.

We have DIFFERENT body parts, we get turned on DIFFERENTLY and we are also expect DIFFERENT things from relationships.

So, simply telling a woman to do something you would is just STUPID.

How many guys here have had a woman ask them out? And how often has it happened?

Over the years I've had girls (whom I don't know) grope me, say outright perverted things to me out of nowhere and these girls have almost always been...at best, average looking.

The more attractive ones have approached me too, but it was generally much more subtle (making a comment about something other than the way I look). Yes, obviously they were interested but they were giving me the opportunity to open THEM (flirt etc).

One approach is clumsy and desperate, the other is sensible...

The first one is clumsy and desperate because most women don't go looking for ONS, whilst many men do...if a woman came up to you, chatted you up, gave you her number and even tried to arrange a "date" without you doing much 95% of men would immediately be thinking "easy sex"...

A woman expecting more than sex would be stupid to use this approach...once she has been banged she should not expect to hear from him again...unless he is horny. Either that, or the man she approached is a complete pvssy and this would setup their entire relationship (her making 100% of the decisions).

The second one is sensible because she is making it easier but at the same time letting you turn her on. If you can't take this opportunity and maintain a conversation with her then you're probably a pvssy and I don't need to tell anyone here how off-putting this is for women.

A woman is INTERESTED if a man is good-looking, but she only becomes ATTRACTED if he behaves like a man.

However, in THIS case this girl can ask the guy on a date outright, because she already knows him, which is a different case entirely...

But my point is generally the best a girl can do is make herself available...

I don't feel one person, guy or girl should have the entire weight of the relationship rest upon their shoulders, as in making 100 percent of the decisions, ideally I would it like to be 50/50 but unfortunately too many people argue that it can't work out like that, but for the OP's case, i'm sorry that guy did that, he's now making it look bad for the guys who would welcome a chance of scenary in the world of dating/hook-up, attractting the opposite sex, etc. As for what 3agle eyes said, heck I would at least welcome if more girls did a subtle approach like you mentioned, like making a comment on something, she doesn't have to literally ask the guy out, at least just say Hi first or initiate conversation, and then after that the guy can take over the reins and do the rest because at least she made it obvious, got our attention