Do guys prefer to be asked out on dates?

[AAAgent]

I honestly dislike being approached by women, that's maybe because most woman that do try and ask me out are never straight forward and like to catcall me first or let gossip spread down the chain.

Then their friends will ask me what i think about them, etc.

I've only had a few times when a girl has personally asked me out and it was indirectly. She was cute and i didn't really know much about her so i tagged along.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I honestly dislike being approached by women, that's maybe because most woman that do try and ask me out are never straight forward and like to catcall me first or let gossip spread down the chain.

Then their friends will ask me what i think about them, etc.

I've only had a few times when a girl has personally asked me out and it was indirectly. She was cute and i didn't really know much about her so i tagged along.

Even if a woman did not want to ask a man out, the least she can do is initiate a conversation with him or say Hi to him for the first time just to get his attention but not holding my breath for that

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Basically for guys its literally a matter of knowing how to get a girl but for girls its not a matter of knowing how to get a guy

 

[VladPatton]

Haha yes true. But what are good ways to entice him to want to date me apart from sex?!

Handies :rockon:, blowies , and/or lap dances :woo: (in no particular order). I don't care if he's got 2 broken legs and is on crutches. He'll a come a runnin!

 

[Jaylan]

were any those successful, ended up being long-term?

Ive only had 2 relationships in my lifetime. With my first real gf it was a 50-50 thing if I remember correctly. I think we both kind of just wanted to see if the other was interested in hanging out. It was years ago, so its hard to remember exactly.

With my 2nd girlfriend I initially pursued her, and then she pursued me after I backed off. We started out as really good friends.

Haha yes true. But what are good ways to entice him to want to date me apart from sex?!

It really depends on 2 things in my view;

1. Where the guy is in his life...ie...whether hes ready for a relationship or not.
2. What the girls character is...ie...if he sees her as gf material based on his own likes and dislikes (and this varies from man to man.

PS - I agree with everything Mike said in response to your question.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Ive only had 2 relationships in my lifetime. With my first real gf it was a 50-50 thing if I remember correctly. I think we both kind of just wanted to see if the other was interested in hanging out. It was years ago, so its hard to remember exactly.

With my 2nd girlfriend I initially pursued her, and then she pursued me after I backed off. We started out as really good friends.It really depends on 2 things in my view;

1. Where the guy is in his life...ie...whether hes ready for a relationship or not.
2. What the girls character is...ie...if he sees her as gf material based on his own likes and dislikes (and this varies from man to man.

PS - I agree with everything Mike said in response to your question.

Me personally I never understood why going after what you want is a masculine trait

 

[Dhoulmagus]

idk whenever a girl takes initiative, I feel like there's a catch or something. Sounds too good to be true.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

idk whenever a girl takes initiative, I feel like there's a catch or something. Sounds too good to be true.

People always constantly argue and say that guys are natural hunters, that we enjoy the chase, that we are turned off by women chasing us, if that is the case then how come me and a lot of other guys find it a huge turn on, very hot and sexy whenever a girl we are attracted to initiates with us, pursues us?

 

[VikingKing]

Haha yes true. But what are good ways to entice him to want to date me apart from sex?!

Try to make him happy. Qaulify yourself. Be supportive, thoughtful, and reapectdul. Know how to cook what he likes. Always try to look sexy for him, satisfy his sexual needs. Dont be manpulitive or play games. Wake him up by sucking his c0ck.c

 

[djgirl]

Loving the replies! Thanks heaps! I was talking with my mother about the situation, she knows him too and said to me to wait for him to contact me because asking him out for lunch looks desperate being a girl....He does have a high powered job though and works very long hours so it's hard to get hold of him and btw I wouldn't care if he was a garbage collector I'd still find him attractive. I'm not shallow like that. I left a message on his voice mail to get back to me, it's been a couple of days so I'm still waiting....
He told me to hound him until he gets back to him but I don't feel right doing it since it just makes me look desperate and like I have no other options.

 

[IndeedSir]

Yeah, I'd use the same contact rules we do. Two strikes and they're out. Don't ask your mother for dating advice, either. Women would do so much better with men if they'd cut out all the ridiculous cosmo dating bvll****. I always encourage my female friends to be more upfront. There's a massive gap between texting a guy and texting them too much. Guys who don't know about the silly games get bored and annoyed at them quickly and the ones that do know about them get bored and annoyed at them instantly.

I actually helped my 22 year old housemate get with a guy she was crushing on at work. She asked him out, got his phone number and set up the date. I guided her through the whole process. She would get a text from him and be like, oh my god I have to wait like 4 hours and blah blah. I was like, no, fvck that ****, be a god damn real person. Worked for her, it can work for you!

EDIT: I should address the fact that he asked you to hound him. That reeks of game to me as well and I wouldn't do it. I'd stick to the two strike rule and see if he reciprocates the effort. But definitely don't be afraid to contact him.

 

[Trump]

Loving the replies! Thanks heaps! I was talking with my mother about the situation, she knows him too and said to me to wait for him to contact me because asking him out for lunch looks desperate being a girl....He does have a high powered job though and works very long hours so it's hard to get hold of him and btw I wouldn't care if he was a garbage collector I'd still find him attractive. I'm not shallow like that. I left a message on his voice mail to get back to me, it's been a couple of days so I'm still waiting....
He told me to hound him until he gets back to him but I don't feel right doing it since it just makes me look desperate and like I have no other options.

Sorry to say he could be banging someone if he's attracted to you and not calling back. Long job hours isn't an excuse, even the President who has time for golf and vacations isn't that busy.

I don't think its desperate for a girl to ask, this is 2014. Girls are allegedly supposed to everything a guy can do and more. But if he's so confident and good looking and high powered and successful and sexy and attracted to you, but doesn't ask you out, something is wrong.

Maybe he plays for the other team? :crackup:

 

[djgirl]

Yeah, I'd use the same contact rules we do. Two strikes and they're out. Don't ask your mother for dating advice, either. Women would do so much better with men if they'd cut out all the ridiculous cosmo dating bvll****. I always encourage my female friends to be more upfront. There's a massive gap between texting a guy and texting them too much. Guys who don't know about the silly games get bored and annoyed at them quickly and the ones that do know about them get bored and annoyed at them instantly.

I actually helped my 22 year old housemate get with a guy she was crushing on at work. She asked him out, got his phone number and set up the date. I guided her through the whole process. She would get a text from him and be like, oh my god I have to wait like 4 hours and blah blah. I was like, no, fvck that ****, be a god damn real person. Worked for her, it can work for you!

EDIT: I should address the fact that he asked you to hound him. That reeks of game to me as well and I wouldn't do it. I'd stick to the two strike rule and see if he reciprocates the effort. But definitely don't be afraid to contact him.

I would love more insight on how you got her to score him?! Yes he did tell me to hound him until he gets back to me but I don't know if that's because his always flat out. But I mean him asking me out for lunch I haven't read that much in to because he could just be being friendly business like

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Loving the replies! Thanks heaps! I was talking with my mother about the situation, she knows him too and said to me to wait for him to contact me because asking him out for lunch looks desperate being a girl....He does have a high powered job though and works very long hours so it's hard to get hold of him and btw I wouldn't care if he was a garbage collector I'd still find him attractive. I'm not shallow like that. I left a message on his voice mail to get back to me, it's been a couple of days so I'm still waiting....
He told me to hound him until he gets back to him but I don't feel right doing it since it just makes me look desperate and like I have no other options.

your mom is too stubbornly old-fashioned

 

[VikingKing]

Troll

 

[IndeedSir]

I would love more insight on how you got her to score him?! Yes he did tell me to hound him until he gets back to me but I don't know if that's because his always flat out. But I mean him asking me out for lunch I haven't read that much in to because he could just be being friendly business like

That was my original point. Just be a real person. It's not like I taught her game. When I meet a woman there's two things I look which let me figure out if she's worth my time within 20 minutes of meeting her. Do I find her attractive? That takes about 2 seconds. If I'm attracted to her, I'll ask her about what she does with her life and what she's interested in. If we have some commonalities, she's not an idiot and doesn't seem shallow then I'll ask for her number. At that point if she's a yes, I'll get a number and see what happens. There's really no need for trickery or techniques to get a guy. I think most guys now are sick of the way women act in the dating game, that's the biggest turn off for me. Especially arrogance or *****iness.

So back to my friend. I didn't coach her to act a certain way or say certain things. I told her to be confident and to ask him out. Then I told her not to do any of the cosmo bull****. That's literally it. I was basically just a motivator. She went up to him at work and said something like hey, we should have a drink sometime. He said yes (obviously she met the first criteria, the second depends on whether he is looking for LTR or just a lay), she got his phone number. I saw her the next day and I was so proud of her! Breaking the mould. That sort of confidence and forwardness is so attractive to a guy. If a woman I found attractive came up to me like that, I'd just be like, wow, who is this woman? The only women that have approached me have been drunk club slvts.

So she was freaking out about well do I text him, do I wait x days, I should wait a bit before responding etc. No, no, no. Text him, ask him when he's free, don't wait in between messages. If you're messaging a guy to organise something, there's no need to play games. The only reason guys do this, is because women do it and expect it. Contact him twice, if he doesn't get back to you then he was probably being polite in accepting your invite (due to the social circle you two are part of). It's that simple.

 

[Masculinity]

But I must have him!

This is creepy and desperate ^

And it's funny because I asked a few male friends of mine if they think it's weird when a girl asks them out on dates and they said it makes them look desperate and I certainly don't want to come across that way.

Asking a person to spend time with you--really that's what "asking out" conveys--is not desperate. These friends of yours seem to be encapsulated by the whole "we don't want to look slutty" way of thinking. When a girl asks me out, I immediately reward her regardless of the outcome. Why? Because that person is putting herself in a position of vulnerability to demonstrate that she likes me. The fact that she is telling me communicates that her desire to have be is greater than her fear of getting rejected or its consequences.

If the dude doesn't like you, just pretend nothing happened and move on; don't get all weird and avoid the guy for a week. From a psychological standpoint, men overestimate females' sexual interest in them, whereas females underestimate sexual interest from males. That is, your very own psyche may be playing a trick on ya!

Go for it. It is better to be rejected than to reject oneself and wonder what could have happened.

PS: lunch is an express pass to the friend zone and dinner is too cliche. Do something fun--an action hangout.

-R

 

[El Payaso]

Pathetic troll.

 

[jafyk]

He directed one of my relatives funeral so I don't know if it's unethical to ask him out on a date. However he is a very close family friend and I have great connection with him and would be pretty shattered if he turned me down. I'm pretty sure he likes me as well but maybe he could just be being friendly

You would be pretty shattered if he turned you down? Well, svck it up and get over it. Do you think guys love getting turned down by women? What is it with you ladies thinking everything should be perfect for you and if it isn't that's the end of the world.

The guy gave you his # and expressed interest in you. DUH! Does he have to jump on you for you to know he's interested? So, casually tell him when you are free and if he'd be interested in going for lunch. Even if he says no (well depending on why he said no). It doesn't mean that he wouldn't want to EVER go out with you again. So, if he says no. You tell him to let you know when next he would like to whenever he's ready. Then you go on with your life meeting other guys or whatever it is you do.

 

[Sean99]

Of course. Instant control.