DJing in England

[EternalBachelor]

Hi. I am a college student in England and despite being surrounded by hundreds of hot girls (it is summer and they are all in short skirts ) I am finding it almost impossible to meet enough girls.

I have tried doing approaches but get confronted with "do I know you?" or open hostility. While I do meet some girls through my course and societies, I have had quite a few rejections already and lots of people are openly attached. My societies and course are male dominated which rather lowers the possibilities. Another problem is that once I have asked one girl out from a society, all the other girls hear about it, and that makes it more difficult to ask out other girls.

It seems in England the only places where you stand a chance of meeting single girls are at the pub or clubs, and these places do not attract the classy, intelligent sort of girls I am into. With these sort of girls you need to invest a lot of time "getting to know them" before you can even think about asking them out, and then they probably have a boyfriend.

I am above average looking, intelligent and witty, yet am finding it impossible to find a girlfriend, after I broke up with my last one.

 

[Ballistik]

Man, I hope it isn't as bad as you make it out to be when I go to England. I was looking forward to being the rare American guy....

Anyways, you might wanna check out some of the DJ Bible stuff on cold approaches. I always try to remember one of the suggestions in there to start a conversation - put yourself in their shoes and try to comment on what they would be thinking about. Is she in a park reading? Comment on the author. Is she is a coffee shop? Ask her about the good brews there.

 

[silverwex]

Same here in Ireland, successful cold approaches are very rare indeed!

 

[EternalBachelor]

Hi Ballistik. Oddly girls seem to let go of their unfriendliness to strangers with foreigners. Play the lost yank in England and you may have a bit of luck, especially in clubs.

 

[Dirtheart]

I've found everything EternalBatchelor said is true. I raised this in another thread somewhere as I honestly don't believe cold approaches work in England (or most parts of it at least).

English people, for the most part, are quite guarded. Even at University, I find it difficult to make conversation with a stranger unless I have something common to talk about or some reason. And then I have to actually find them at a time when they're not in the middle of going somewhere or doing something (which they usually are) and are willing to stop and chat.

So, my approach in Uni is to subtly place myself in the vicinity of someone I want to speak to. I tend to time my leaving of the classroom/lecture hall so that it coincides with the person I'm looking to talk to and casually smile, say hello and ask how they are getting on or how they found the class. Then I walk with them and let the conversation develop. Sometimes they'll stand around and chat, sometimes don't, but then I wait until I see them again and say hello and start with another casual question or refer to something they said (i.e. did you finish that essay you were working on?).

In my opinion it is better to aim at "breaking the ice" rather than scoring a date or number. Once you can say hello and make casual conversation, it's easy just to sit with them during class or in the canteen and get to know them better (and subtly find out if they have a boyfriend).

It takes patience, but it does work. I've landed dates this way (and I haven't always been the one to ask) and I get a lot of girls emailing me or text messaging me out of the blue saying "I got your number from x. I don't know if you remember me. We spoke on x day...etc"

Just try to be subtle and not think too far ahead.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

English girls are a little wierd, I've found. Even the one's here in Canada I find a bit odd. They seem to require a lot of working on. They do crack eventually. I've found turning the tables on them and 'taking the piss' out of them about their Englishness works - you know, bad teeth, big ears, general teasing. You should do alright with your American accent. It certainly helps. When in England I've used the 'lost' tourist thing to good effect, plus using my natural Canadian politeness to charm the beeyatches.

On the whole, though, I've found the English both in Canada and in England to be a little snobbish towards we Colonials be it Canucks, Kiwis, Aussies etc.

 

[Tweek_1984]

Unless you're being picky about your lasses, you shouldn't find it very difficult to get laid at Uni.

I'm the shyest person on Earth and when I started at Uni when I just turned 18 in 2002, I'd get at least 1 offer of sex per week. But I have a major case of sexual paranoia (Like the guy Jip out of human traffic) and as soon as I realised they wanted sex, I'd escape.

Oh god, I just remember one time I was in a club and a girl chatted me up, we ended up back at her flat, we were both sitting on her bed. I felt totally nervous and uneasy about the situation and I made my excuses and left. The best part about it is, I tried to kiss her when I was saying goodbye. Oh lordy.

 

[EternalBachelor]

Hi Dirtheart. Nice to meet another English DJ. That is more or less the approach I use, and have got to know around 10 girls that way. Unfortunately for whatever reason, when I made a pass, none of them were interested. I am of the view that dating is a numbers game, and the problem is I do not meet enough women and the girls who it is socially acceptable to talk to (due to use being in the same classes, society etc.) only number about 50.

Tweek-are you meeting all these girls at clubs, pubs? I find that the problem with these venues, is I don't really know anyone to go with (my friends tend to be the sort who avoid clubs) and if you go on your own it doesn't really work.

Where are other good places to meet girls at uni?

 

[TommiV]

I think it's sort of accepted that across the water here in Ireland or England, people aren't quite as "open" or perceptive to pickups and stuff.. as in cold approaches...

I don't want to sound like the "Oh I can't..." guy but it sort of is like that. American culture seems more suited to that.

Having said that the general idea of DJing or whatever is spot on, you have to be more confident and all of that but the actual pickup... bars and clubs are where people here accpet as a meeting place. i.e. girls go out and expect to be hit on on a Saturday night, but try to talk to the same girl on a Wednesday afternoon or something and she's like "WTF?".

Has something to do with the fact that that guys and girls are fairly segregated until the age of 18 here much more than the US, so for most people, they hit that age, start going out and only then do you start finding girlfriends or even friends who are girls, more than you normally would.

The foreign card works magic though. Irish girls especially go for the foreign types. As a guy you can see how sleazy these guys are sometimes but it works. Like, a friend of mine (female) is always getting hit on by foreign guys (Spanish, Italian, French...). I mean, you can speak to the guy one second and he's normal, English speaking and whatever, second he meets a girl like my friend he plays the whole "I'm foreign and don't know much English so you'll have to show me with your body" sort of guy.. and damn it works... If your an out of towner.. milk it for all it's worth man!

 

[jakethasnake]

I hope to live in England or Paris/Berlin for a few years in the near future. This is very interesting reading - and in my experience what the UK DJs have been saying is pretty true - the Brits are reserved. However, being a foreigner is probably a plus, especially if he is good looking or interesting (or both).

 

[Jango_Xavier]

U guys should try out the netherlands.
Some guys might not agree with me but, here in the netherlands 7/10 chicks are quite friendly towards me when i say hi or try & talk with them, well im not saying im goodlooking or dress great but ive always got a great big smile of my face D not cheesy like that) im not a very secure person but im actually quite a happy person but, i must say that heaps & heaps of chicks are arrogant as hell. Lots of people here look angry at me cause they wanna be happy themselves (here 99/100 people look miserable).
Oh yeah i have an accent so that helps a little too.
U should of seen me yesterday 0/10 chicks were friendly towards me cause i wasnt feeling so great i was ill & got some bad news, i wasnt a very happy jango, it was bad karma.




Jakethasnake,

come to the netherlands

 

[EternalBachelor]

Hey, Jango-Xavier, I might just check out the Netherlands myself. Perhaps my English accent will impress the girls.

TommiV. Good points. I think as much as I dislike clubbing, I think it is probably the best place for me to practice DJing girls. Time to drag my lazy friends from the TV and persuade them to go clubbing.

 

[AMF]

Originally posted by Tweek_1984
Unless you're being picky about your lasses, you shouldn't find it very difficult to get laid at Uni.

I'm the shyest person on Earth and when I started at Uni when I just turned 18 in 2002, I'd get at least 1 offer of sex per week. But I have a major case of sexual paranoia (Like the guy Jip out of human traffic) and as soon as I realised they wanted sex, I'd escape.

Oh god, I just remember one time I was in a club and a girl chatted me up, we ended up back at her flat, we were both sitting on her bed. I felt totally nervous and uneasy about the situation and I made my excuses and left. The best part about it is, I tried to kiss her when I was saying goodbye. Oh lordy.

With all due respect mate, I reckon northern girls may be slightly easier to pull than the southerners. No stereotyping intended, just experience - i am originally from carlisle, lived most of my life far south east, now at uni east anglia... and the average southern girl seems to be pretty *****y!

plus uni chicks in general are more selective... uni is full of girls, but its also full of guys. And worst of all: as soon as youve tried to chat to a girl, let alone pull her, every girl on campus will soon know about it, and youre the sleazy guy or the desperado!

Uni is overrated IMO. Im fairly attractive, well dressed blah blah... all guys think I probably pull wholesale but IT HASNT HAPPENED... been stuck in a relationship like a neutered cat

g/luck UK DJs

 

[jakethasnake]

Yeah, that is a good point about Northerners vs. Southerners. I remember being at a club on the outskirts of London and a girl who approached me and tried to seduce me was from York or some other place up North. She had that gutteral Northern accent. I didn't go for her because she wasn't too attractive, but she told me that Northerners tend to be more friendly than Southerners, and also more sexually aggressive.

 

[Tweek_1984]

AMF, you're originally from Carlisle? Man it's a small world.

I don't know about that mate. I went to the University of Manchester and the place was FULL of southerners. No joke.

But, I think it's a mix. Manchester has a massive student population. I saw some of my friends pull good looking girls in clubs where the music was so loud you couldn't hear yourself think, let alone talk. They pulled these girls just using eye-contact.

The girl I was talking about at the bottom of my post was from Gloustershire.

I'm not sure about the north-south thing. I mean, look at Essex

 

[EternalBachelor]

lol, if only there were more Essex girls at my university.

Re the north-south divide, I don't know many northerners (my university is full of spoilt southerners) but the few I have met tend to be if anything more antagonistic, as they dislike my "posh" southern accent. But it is fun teasing them
My favourite line is "you are awfully snobbish for a northener"

AMF know what you are saying about girl gossips. I have asked 2 girls in my course out, and got rejected, and it seems every girl in my course knows about it, and has their guard up.

Anyone have any useful suggestions for next year at university. Basically I just want to meet a lot more girls in situations where I see them on a regular basis, so they melt a bit and are more receptive to going on a date.

 

[john]

when they say i dont know you

when they say " do i know you? "

say " NO, i am NOT the guy you used to work with at Mcdonalds. However, I have EATEN there before. The last time I went there this kid broke his ankle.....(CONTNUE WITH INTERESTING STORY.)

NOT HARD. stop with the excuses.

 

[Austin Allegro]

Dirtheart's got it right (as usual!)

In the UK (that's England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland), cold approaches are just not part of the culture. Some people, especially in the north, tend to be more receptive but in the south, especially in London, you may even be completely ignored if you try it. It's a well known rule that you simply don't talk to strangers on buses or tubes in London - they will ignore you or even move to another seat.

Pubs and clubs are recognised 'pick up' places though and it can be quite easy to pull. But unfortunately you often do tend to get a lower class of woman in these places - what we call 'slappers'. The really attractive, classy English girls don't really go in for this kind of thing.

Uni is a tough one. I graduated in 1994 so things might have changed a bit. Anyway I was a total AFC but still managed to pull on average one girl per term, so a DJ should do better. The trouble with a lot of uni girls is they tend to have what we called 'university marriages' - they meet a guy in Fresher's Week and stick with him for three years, or they have the f8cking annoying 'boyfriend back home' that they stay faithful to. This was a constantly used excuse when women wanted to blow you off at uni.

So uni girls might be tough to crack. But Dirtheart is right, 'cold' approaches don't work so try 'warm' ones. The great advantage of uni is that:

1. there are loads of girls
2. you are all in a small place where you will see these same girls often.

Use this to your advantage! Don't go for a number close straight away, build rapport with girls in your halls, lectures, tutorials etc and 'see them around' once or twice before number closing and then set up a date. Don't worry about getting a reputation for asking loads of girls out, women claim not to like this but secretly I think it makes them MORE interested in you.

Good luck!

 

[MysteryWoman]

Originally posted by EternalBachelor
lol, if only there were more Essex girls at my university.

Re the north-south divide, I don't know many northerners (my university is full of spoilt southerners) but the few I have met tend to be if anything more antagonistic, as they dislike my "posh" southern accent. But it is fun teasing them
My favourite line is "you are awfully snobbish for a northener"

AMF know what you are saying about girl gossips. I have asked 2 girls in my course out, and got rejected, and it seems every girl in my course knows about it, and has their guard up.

Anyone have any useful suggestions for next year at university. Basically I just want to meet a lot more girls in situations where I see them on a regular basis, so they melt a bit and are more receptive to going on a date.

The university I go to , you'd be so disappointed if you met Essex girls, they are just big teases who pretend to put out. They are really quite frigid!

 

[EternalBachelor]

Lol, Austin, things have not changed. It seems most of the girls are so insecure that they need to have these long-term relationships and cannot go a day without having a boyfriend.
And yeh, the pub/club scene is pretty easy and I usually get slappers (usually drunk) hitting on me, but I was really looking for a girlfriend rather than an easy lay.

Warm approaches sound like a good idea. Problem is I rather wasted my time in halls as an AFC, and am no longer in halls, and I know most of the girls in my lectures and classes and the ones that interest me have already rejected me or made it quite clear they have a boyfriend. What are other good situations to meet girls in settings where you can slowly get to know them?

I am finishing uni in a years time, so I was wondering what the prospects were like after uni, Austin? Other than work (which is a no-no) where do you meet quality women?