DJ Boot Camp - Week #1

[Challenger]

@valikyule:
I would start with older persons who are actually looking at you. They will certainly answer you and even this is not your main "target group" it gives you a kind of confidence.

If a girl/guy/woman/man doesn't respond to your "hi" you basicily have 3 possibilities:
- You can just go on walking and be kind of frustrated

- You can go on walking and thinking "this son of a *****"

- or you can do it again, louder than before! E.g. you can say something like: "Hello? Haven't you heard me, I have said: Hi to you" ..... Then this people will pretend that they haven't heard you before and will now greet you.
I am sure that this is probably the best solution because you feel kind of supiroir to the other person. You have won, the other person has to search a lame excuse like he didn't hear you ....

 

[valikyule]

Hi Challenger,

THanks for the advice

I'll try it again in a few minutes.

One question though, is that what should I do after I call them back? It'l be weird if I told them I said hi and just leave.

 

[valikyule]

Hi Challenger,

THanks for the advice

I'll try it again in a few minutes.

One question though, is that what should I do after I call them back? It'l be weird if I told them I said hi and just leave.

 

[XANEUS]

You could always go with the patch adams line... "You have just been the recipient of a classic North American greeting... a cordial gesture of friendship from one person toward another ... customarily a reciprocation of this greeting is given..." Or something like that. I only saw the movie once, I'm sure someone else knows the exact line. Anyway, I give points for extra balls to anyone who tries anything as original and funny as this.

 

[valikyule]

Ok, I'm done for the day and heres some more results.


1. A girl saw me look and started smiling but didn't smile my way. Maybe somebody she knows was behind me? I said hi anyway as we crossed but she didn't reply. Only smiled straight ahead.

2. A man asked me to break his dollar into change so I did that and said hi and wished his day well.. that probably doesn't count.

3. I saw a guy walk toward me and he recognized me looking by nodding his head. I said hi this time a bit louder but he didn't respond. I think I also smiled too.


humbag

 

[Challenger]

I think it really depends on the situation.
If people are in the city, stressed and in a hurry they have been other things in head that bother them. It's at least more difficult to get a "hi" back from them.

So you should really start off greeting people who actually look at you, who don't seem in a hurry and preferable older persons (and preferably in a town instead of a city).

If you get no response I would recommand you the "Hello? Haven't you heard me, I have said: Hi to you" like I have described before ....

If there is no resond anyway, thing "f*ck her/him/you" and simply go on trying.

It'l be weird if I told them I said hi and just leave.

what's weired about "hello?? I have said "hi"!" ...
They/She/he will answer something like: "oh sorry, haven't heard you"
You:"Well, this time I will accept your excuse, but next time I will not let you trough with.."

So this could be a way to actually intense your conversion in a kind of funny way. This isn't of course nececarry ..

 

[hellfire104]

Hello,
I have not been out to a place with alot of people yet this week. but im going to complete the mission this weekend!!
i just wanted to say that i feel more confident about myself just by listening to you guys talk about your adventures.
Thanks,
JEFF

 

[XANEUS]

I have no problem looking people in the eye and smiling, but I'm a quiet person, so while I can confidently start a conversation and get digits from just about any girl, I still have trouble just saying hi... I usually open with something ironic and witty rather than hi....( "hi" is harder. )... It feels good though, and it's getting easier. The first couple I got very little response, but I've hit my stride and been doing magnificently as far as smile and reply lately.

11 down 39 to go.

 

[Master of the Universe]

Hey guys, before I respond to some of your comments, I want do debrief you on my first outing yesterday night.

I decided that I would make an experiment of the eye contact exercise, so yesterday night I went to a local mall and for a period of one hour, I walked around trying to lock eye contact with anyone I could. The twist though, was that I would attempt to capture eye contact without smiling. This way, for my second outing I can try eye contact while smiling, and compare the difference in results.

Anyway, after an hour of walking all around the mall, I managed to capture eye contact with eight people. Of those, two smiled.

So the end result, after one hour, and with NO SMILING was 8 eye contacts with 2 smiles initiated my strangers.

I'm guessing that with a smile the results will be much higher, but I'll know for sure tomorrow, and report to you then.

Challenger,

"Said hi to aprox. 4 person but waved at a pretty girl who was looking at me some kind of romantic )) after my waving she was kind of puzzled and insecure. A great feeling for me actually )) I was also waving at a group of girls passing me ... I hope this will also count?"

Yeah, I love pulling that stuff! I'll find a group of girls, smile the biggest smile in the world, c*ck my head to the side then back up again, and wave like I know them. I crack up when they start giggling... great feeling!

Dr_Feelgood.

"I'll easily hit 50 by the end of tommorrow, but I'm going to keep doing this all week. I'm going to go for 75. I'm going to make the rest high quality, and really work on the eye contact thing even more."

That's the attitude bro!

Studmuffin,

"what is up with eye contact???? the second i make eye contact with someone, they look away in some other direction....are people that nervous??? i never noticed it before until i started this excercise. what gives?"

Yeah, I know what you mean. It's amazing how little self-esteem some people have... either that or they are completely unaware of what's happening around them.

On the bright side though... this is the reason why something so small as looking people in the eye conveys so much confidence!

Valikyule,

"Does this practice apply to saying hi and eye contact to guys as well?? Or does it have to be purely women and girl???"

Anyone you want... I think the reason so many are focusing on the women is because eventually that is whom we will be pursuing, so it's just practice for when we get to that point.

As for your situation with the lack of response, don't let that bother you. You'll find that as you approach more and more people, you won't care about those who ignore you. Just keep on saying hi to people, and you will improve, with the only caveat being that you will want to try different approaches. Don't forget, this is an experiment... so as others have already mentioned, experiment with different styles. Hi didn't work, no problem, try hello, or how are you. Hell, just for the fun of it, as I was walking by I saw a girl and told her STOP! She turned around and as she was wondering where the fire was, I just merely smiled and told her "Hello" with a huge smile. She smiled back and probably thought I was a weirdo... but who cares. This is an experiment... have fun with it!

And guys, I am stoked to see the kind of results some of you have been getting! The increase in confidence is just amazing... and this is only first two days! Just wait a few more weeks...

Also, I think it's great that we're all sharing suggestions and helping each other out. That's what this Boot Camp is all about!

Master of the Universe

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"Life's a joke... take it too seriously, and the joke's on you"

[This message has been edited by Master of the Universe (edited 04-23-2002).]

 

[Don Scotta]

Really good stuff guys. I'm a little late on the boot camp idea, just read it, but I like it. One thing I thought this site was missing, and here it goes

.

I made my own little program for myself but it doesn't have all the fine lines this one has.

I've been making myself make eye contact with basically everyone and saying 'hello', and I start convo's with basically anyone I can. This is easiest, I find, if you're a customer somewhere.

I used to do this stuff naturally, but I had a girlfriend for a year and 1/2 so I let my social skills atrophy a little.

Been single about a month, and just reattached my balls last week. I have two numbers so far, but I think this program will help me a lot, good job MoTU.

It's always easier to stick to a goal if you have a well drawn out program.

 

[HB_Hunter]

ok,

here we go !!
fst of all i m doin this eye-contact program coupled with openin conversation with gals and ppl in general from a long time

i am like everyone havin ups and downs!!
i don't think that i have to say hello to 50 ppl cz i believe that i got da gutts n courage to do this , as i've done alot of times but i'll keep on doin it though but not to that extent u know

today i just locked eye-contact with a gal across the street , she stared at my eyes then i said hello , she ignored me LOL ..gals!

also while i was comin out of this grocery store i locked eye-contact with this gal and i said hello she responded , i really wanted to open up a conversation with her which i know that i can

but that wasn't in the program right?? so i think some of us can jump to step 3 or 4 in this program !! what do u think motu??

cz im at times feel that urge of goin n openin up a conversation with this hotty , but i couldn't find what to talk about especially that this is kinda forbidden in our culture !! but i'll keep doin it !

 

[KBT]

Of all the people who does not look you back in the eye, how many of them do you guys think is insecure, how many just didn't noticed?

 

[Jake Steed]

Hey Motu,

I like your responses. I think this bootcamp is a great idea.

Last night I was walking with a smokin' hottie I had just taken on a date at a university and had a group of three blonde chicks lock eye contact with me. Their eye movements went like this:

To my eyes--to my girl--back to my eyes--down to the rest of my, ahem, body--then back up to my eyes. It was so obvious! AAAAHH ha ha ha ha ha!

Jake

 

[Doppler4000]

Eye contact with strangers is a real interesting topic. I work in a large medical center complex- FULL of long straight hallways and plenty of nurses, secretaries, etc. walking down them. Perfect for this exercise, right? Wrong. The things which people (and not just the women only, either) will go through to avoid making even an instant of eye contact is almost comical at times. I probably couldn't get 50 good ones in a week at work if I tried every single day. We should try to figure out the places where people are most and least receptive.

By the way, to echo everyone else here, when you do happen to get a nice reply or smile in return, it's quite a spark.

 

[Don the Legend]

In the interest of space, I will just edit this post with all of my progress. I will just use ---------- as page breaks. That way we won't have a thousand reply's.

MONDAY:

Didn't start until Tuesday. Read the homework assignments. No other progress.

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TUESDAY:

Late start for me. But today I only attempted to make eye contact with 2 people. I need to make up for lost time. I will have to take a break from work and study and get out there meeting people. More to follow....

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WEDNESDAY:

Morning and Lunch Break: Today 3 out of 10 people have made eye contact and said "Hi". The other 7 didn't look up or shyed away from making eye contact.

Observations: I noticed that when you see 2 girls together and are in conversation. They are more than likely not going to give you eye contact. That has been my experience. Have other's experienced the same? I ran into a 9 with a friend walking around Busch Stadium. Walked around the Stadium once, but ran into front of the HB twice and neither time did she look up. I only counted her once out of those 10. More to follow...

Evening: I went to a department store. I had 4 out of 6 that made eye contact and said hi. I can't believe how many people either look away or look down.

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THURSDAY: I walked around lunch today. Made contact with 5 out of 6, said hi, and eye contact. Most of the girls that I have made eye contact with saying hi were much older and not my type. But the practice is good to still go out and build the confidence. I need to hit younger areas and get the practice of saying hi with eye contact. More to follow...

Evening: I went out to the store and was somewhat uneventual. I got a call from a friend and I met up and had a few drinks. He received a call from a girl he is friends with at work. So we met up with her and some of her friends. I said "hi", smiled and made eye contact with those girls. Had a great time. I hope we see them again.

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FRIDAY: Hung over from Thursday night. I didn't get to much contact until Friday evening. I went to my old university. They had a thing called spring fever. I am part of the young alumni. My job was to go up to as many people in the adult area and give out a flyer describing our association. I went up to groups of people with another member. We gave our speech and handed out the flyer. We must have gone up to 30+ people this evening. It was fun and nerve racking. I'd say the beer may have helped make this more fun. But I need to do this without being under the influence.

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SATURDAY: All day we had storms. I didn't do too much. I was somewhat hung over from Friday evening. I did make eye contact with 2 and had great responses back. The rest of the evening was a wash.

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SUNDAY: I pretty much made my quota's. I've been feeling somewhat sick and tired. So I didn't get out of the house all day.

That's it for me. I look foreward to the next exercise.

Legend

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"No passions, no life..."

"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."... Ben Hogan

"The key to happiness in your life is "Your Life",... Don the Legend

[This message has been edited by Don the Legend (edited 04-24-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Don the Legend (edited 04-25-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Don the Legend (edited 04-25-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Don the Legend (edited 04-28-2002).]

 

[mistyc]

When it's sunny outside and it's lunch hour.. That's the best time to go

Every type of people are walking the streets, so you'll be sure to get a lot of replies. Very sure. Not everyone though.

LOL and a few months back (back in my dying AFC days

), I was trying to do this same experiment, but it was a Tuesday night (like tonight!). As I was approaching a beer store, a hobo was nearby (I hadn't totally identified him as a hobo yet) and I nodded and said hi. He asked for a favor.. I said sure, maybe, if I can. "steal me a beer bottle and I'll give you 5$" lol. I quickly walked away...

But I digress.. Keep on DJin' guys!

 

[[A]rtful[DJ]]

Ok i m guess i m a little late, for i been bz woth work and looking for a new place to live.
I do however already talk to strangers all the time at work as this is part of my job, so i guess those do not count. I also have no problem initiating anyting from long convo to just a short "Hi how r ya", at bars, parties, pubs, or clubs.

However i m not so sosuave to strangers on the street on a day to day basis. So I though it would be best for me to go outside and try on passersby in the street. Just then i stepped out for a little ciggie break and here are the results:

Day 1:
Made about 8 eye contacts, most of them looked away.
Had a chance to spot this HB office chick.

First made eye contact with her
Me: Hello (nodding my head and a little wave)
Her: smile, (bit suprised, and curious)
Me: how r ya
her: shy smile back again with a small hi and hand wave.
My first trial at saying Hi on the street today was a complete success

. My friend asked me if i knew her LOL.
Definately eye contact must be there before sayign hi, i m planning to get a flawless result on this one.
Lest see how we go

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Realize that the world is just a stage, and u ll see how easy everything is.


[This message has been edited by [A]rtful[DJ] (edited 04-23-2002).]

 

[Goldenboy]

bump...

 

[Dr_Feelgood]

I'm a little drunk right now, so bear with me if this is a little incoherent or mis-spelled. (I was celebrating again( lol

I said another 12 "hi"s today. All high quality. I made the eye contact thing with at least half of them. All women, again. The last one was really hot. I got good responses from all but two of them. One seemed like she would ignore me, but I said "hi" pretty loud, and gave her a big enthusiastic grin. She couldn't help but say "hi" back, and give me a big smile. I've hit 51 "hi"s so far. Most have given me a good response. At least 4 or 5 seemed really interested in me, and started a conversation. Even though, I wasn't after conversations, I gave in. These girls were cuties.

I think I learned some lessons from Louis and Copeland that may help you guys a bit. One lesson is dealing with rejection.

You need to do 3 things when you get rejected.

1: Realize that this is a numbers game. Not every girl is going to say "hi" to you. Not every girl is going to go out with you. Not every girl is going to fall in love with/ have sex with you. You will get rejected, but that's just one more no you don't have to hear on your way to a yes. Or one more girl ignoring you, for one that will say "hi".

2: Make it her problem, and not yours. A lot of guys when they get rejected, wonder what's wrong with them. DON'T@! It's not you, it's her. She may be sick. You might remind her of her ex, who was a real jerk. She might be busy, or have school/ work on her mind. There could be a million reasons why she rejected you. But, they all have to do with her, not you.

If you say "hi" and get no response, she may not have heard you. She may have had a really bad day. Maybe her dog/cat is sick. Maybe she's really shy and afraid to talk to strangers. Don't worry about it. IT's not you, it's her. (or him, or whoever you said "hi" to)

3: Redirect you attention to something *(or someone)* else.

Think of your hobbies/interests. Pick up a newspaper. Watch your favorite team on T.V. Look for the next hottie to say "hi" to. Do anything. But, whatever you do, don't dwell on the rejection. Put your attention on something else. Preferably, something that makes you feel good.


There's also the idea that you need to celebrate your victories. So you said "hi" to 12 people, and none said "hi" back. So what? It's a victory. You pushed yourself out of your comfort zone, and did something. The responses you got, don't matter. What matters is that you had the courage to do it. Let yourself feel good about it. I think about how good I feel, how confident I feel, how attractive I'm becoming to women. Also how successful I'll be with women, and that "I'm the man"!

I also do a few other things in way of celebration from time to time. That's why I'm a bit drunk right now. I said "hi" 51 times, so far. And I'm not done yet. My confidence has increased greatly. I'm watching my shyness melt away, and my true Don Juan self, emerge.

This really isn't that hard, but like anything else in life worth having, you have to push yourself and work hard at it. Yeah, it'll hurt at times, but it's worth it. Take my word for it. I've been doing it, and I'm changing a lot.

Go out there and make us proud, Guys!

[This message has been edited by Dr_Feelgood (edited 04-24-2002).]

 

[Rico Suave]

This isn't really part of my exercise training, but this program reminded me of a semi-funny situation.

I was walking across campus and I saw my best friend walking out the back entrance of the science building. I waved and said a loud hello to my best bud, while at the same time some old dude was walking out the front entrance. I've never seen this old guy before, but apparently he thought I was saying hello to him, to which smiled and replied something really stupid sounding like "what, are you talking to me?". I ignored the old guy and continued shouting across the parking lot to my friend saying that we should meet up this week again.

Anyways, as I waved goodbye just a moment later, I continued walking onward, right past the old guy. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was cowering his eyes away from mine because he knew that he was the idiot while I was the true Don in that situation.

Hehe, anyone ever been on the receiving end of thinking that somebody is saying hello to you when they really aren't? Feels pretty stupid I bet.

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"Hail to the King." Ash (Bruce Campbell) from Army of Darkness