DJ Boot Camp - Week #1

[carbani]

One thing I noticed about myself. I sometimes break eye contact by immediately looking away not because I don't like what I see or because I'm too shy. I just do it without any thought.

If I sometimes do it even after practicing maintaining eye contact then if an untrained girl does the same thing it will often mean the same which is: nothing.

Conclusion: don't take it personaly if a gal looks away. You might have been freakin James Bond and she would do the same thing.

 

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

Originally posted by carbani
One thing I noticed about myself. I sometimes break eye contact by immediately looking away not because I don't like what I see or because I'm too shy. I just do it without any thought.

Before starting these exercises, this is PRECISELY what I was doing. It was almost like an extension of courtesy, where I wouldn't want to offend people by looking into their eyes longer than if by chance.

I was remarkably shy when I was in my teens and I'm still somewhat shy - this is exactly why I appreciate this Boot Camp format.


If I sometimes do it even after practicing maintaining eye contact then if an untrained girl does the same thing it will often mean the same which is: nothing.

I know what you mean by "untrained girl," but I picture you walking through a mall, snapping your fingers... "Here girl! Here girl! Gooood girrrrrrrl! Yeah, you'sa trained girl, aren't yoooou?"

In all seriosityness, I'm glad we're reaching similar conclusions about how LITTLE it means when women break eye contact.

I'm still finding though that if I manipulate the environment enough, I can get a smile and a "Hi" nine times out of ten. It all has to do with having fun with it, smiling, maintaining eye contact even if they're looking away, and positioning your body assertively as you deliver a warm "Hi." It's money.


Conclusion: don't take it personaly if a gal looks away. You might have been freakin James Bond and she would do the same thing.

Exactly, most women aren't anticipating this sort of interaction and are not prepared to engage with you, especially if they're walking with a destination in mind. Of course, it doesn't hurt to change the way YOU approach them to see how it influences the way most of them respond.

This past week, whenever I needed a pick-me-up, I'd walk around contacting cute girls and witness them return my greeting time after time.

DWK

 

[Eternal]

To the Archive.

 

[GREAT WHITE SHARK]

Im in.

50 eye contact and hi. LETS GO!

 

[Slimijs]

No one probably reads these threads, but I'll post my week one progress, anyway. English isn't my native language, and I learnt it mostly from movies and stupid school teachers, so I'll probably make some minor spelling mistakes, so deal with it.

I had a small journal with me, where I wrote down all my progress witch also contained some great quotes.

Day 1

It started wonderfull. I woke up, read all the material and got a great boost. I walked outside my apartment, chated with one of my neighbours and went off. I bought myself a small journal, to write down my progress. And then I went around looking people in the eyes. It was fun, but I still couldn't say hello to anyone. But I had a lot of fun doing the eye contact thing. Sometimes I even laughed when I 'won' someone in the game of eye contact. Damn, It was fun. But only a single hello.

Day 2

It was good. I tried to make eye contact with people, but I still wasn't able to say hello to anyone. Then after some walking around, I greeted one stranger, and felt a little bit better.

Day 3

I went jogging in the morning. And it was easy as hell to greet people in the morning. I live in the centre of the city, and it's very hard to find someone in a quiet enough place to greet them. So the morning was perfect. I got 7 good morning's and felt a little better. Then I went out again and greeted 3 strangers with a hello. 10 hello's today

Day 4

On my way to the gym, I greeted 7 people. A lot of them didn't greet me back, but that's ok. I also had a small conversation with one of the people. Then on my way back, I said hello to 2 strangers. So I had 9 hello's today.

Day 5

Oh, boy did today suck. I used this one new eye cream, that I bough. And the results were horrible. It was a windy day. And my eyes started to cry. So there I was crying on the street. A shameful 0 hello's. And when I got home, I was depressed. But after a few hour I went out ,for a short period of time, and got atleast a single hello. One hi today.

Day 6

I wanted revange for my yesterday. And I got it! 20 hello's today. I was unstoppable. So that makes only 8 hi's left, and I couldn't wait.

Day 7

In face, it's today. i got my 8 last hello's and now am home and I'm reading the material for the second week. The hardest part this week, was selecting the people you want to greet.

Guess It worked out. My next post is going to be in the next week. I hope.

 

[Diggs]

Just about to start week one in about an hour. I realize I am a little late but I will keep you guys up to date.

 

[macallik]

Today I read all of the reading material for Chapter 1 of the Bootcamp and then went into the field.

I walked around the streets, the park and a few grocery stores. I said hello to a sizeable amount of people and received responses from 31 people. If they didn't acknowledge me, then they could just be socially unsure, but also, I have to own that a lot of the times I wasn't projecting my voice or didn't appear as confident as I could have. So I am only counting approaches where I received responses.

One thing I noticed is that for the first time in forever, I was consciously aware of my surroundings and whether or not people looked in the mood to talk. Prior to that, I was just walking around in my own world, oblivious to potential social cues. There were people smiling or open to interact that I never would've perceived had I not taken out my earphones and walked with my head up.

Overall, it feels good to be taking steps in the right direction and putting myself out there without using alcohol as a crutch. Another building block to acknowledge is that in the big city, few people says 'Hi' or 'Hello' without an ulterior motive so I have to accept that a lot of people will ignore a Hello/Hi. Sometimes, I think it works for me if I have a big grin on my face, but I want to think about a different default opener or, becoming more fluid on my feet when it comes to observational openers.