BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 4,899
- Reaction score
- 6,989
- Age
- 56
To explain (although off topic) for @catsmeow and others is this: The other thing that I think has bearing on this for me personally is that I was very close with my father, who honestly had wanted sons but ended up with daughters. This meant that I, as the oldest, was expected to do “boy” stuff since my father had no sons to do man stuff with. Consequently I was raised hunting, shooting, working on cars, fixing & building things and was socialized within my family of origin predominantly around accomplished men.
My earliest memory from childhood is bird hunting at age 3 with my dad. Added to that there were no girls to play with in my neighborhood growing up. So I rode bikes, built forts in the woods, played ball, caught turtles and tadpoles and went fishing and again was socialized exclusively with males. I was in essence a tomboy.
On top of all that my mother was aloof, not well socialized herself and very intellectually driven. My parents met in law school. So my mom did not value beauty nor encourage “girl” type behavior even though she was beautiful and had a great figure. She had been abused by her father, so she saw behaving in a way so as to appeal to men sexually to be an enormous liability, and of course my sisters and I were all very pretty. That was discouraged by my mother and downplayed. And my father was fine with us girls not behaving in a sexually appealing way either because it made his life simpler.
Needless to say coming to understand the benefits of being an attractive female were lost on me for many years as a teen & young woman. I didn’t grow up absorbing how to be female. I had to get up that learning curve much later.
So yeah. That’s why much of what I say aligns with men. That was what I learned first and very early on. And that is why I naturally am relaxed around men. Of course I now understand the feminine aspect too, and am grateful and appreciative of that, but really to my close male buddies I’m just a friend who just happens to be, by the way, a hot chick.
Shrugs.
I also now understand male/female dynamics and am respectful of that but expecting me to forget my male friends is like expecting a native Frenchman to forget French after moving to America. It’s a first language kind of thing with me in that sense, which admittedly is rather unusual.
But it makes me a very good partner and companion for a man because I deeply innately understand men.
My earliest memory from childhood is bird hunting at age 3 with my dad. Added to that there were no girls to play with in my neighborhood growing up. So I rode bikes, built forts in the woods, played ball, caught turtles and tadpoles and went fishing and again was socialized exclusively with males. I was in essence a tomboy.
On top of all that my mother was aloof, not well socialized herself and very intellectually driven. My parents met in law school. So my mom did not value beauty nor encourage “girl” type behavior even though she was beautiful and had a great figure. She had been abused by her father, so she saw behaving in a way so as to appeal to men sexually to be an enormous liability, and of course my sisters and I were all very pretty. That was discouraged by my mother and downplayed. And my father was fine with us girls not behaving in a sexually appealing way either because it made his life simpler.
Needless to say coming to understand the benefits of being an attractive female were lost on me for many years as a teen & young woman. I didn’t grow up absorbing how to be female. I had to get up that learning curve much later.
So yeah. That’s why much of what I say aligns with men. That was what I learned first and very early on. And that is why I naturally am relaxed around men. Of course I now understand the feminine aspect too, and am grateful and appreciative of that, but really to my close male buddies I’m just a friend who just happens to be, by the way, a hot chick.
Shrugs.
I also now understand male/female dynamics and am respectful of that but expecting me to forget my male friends is like expecting a native Frenchman to forget French after moving to America. It’s a first language kind of thing with me in that sense, which admittedly is rather unusual.
But it makes me a very good partner and companion for a man because I deeply innately understand men.
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