Dinner Dates, Coffee, and Drinks

[Solomon]

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One of the better ways to save money is to be intentional on who you date. Screen well. I find that I am able to screen more effectively with real life meeting methods than screening women from tech-based methods.

Drinks in a moderately priced bar or bars (multivenue-ing is your friend) is the best tactic and plan for a first date.

Avoid coffee dates. It's difficult to create sexual tension in them.

Avoid dinner dates in restaurants. They are expensive and it is also difficult to create sexual tension on one.

Too many men in the 2020s are still lazy and still use dinner dates in restaurants as first dates. These are the type of men that never make it on to SoSuave or similar type forums.

I agree with this like OP. I've been burned more times than I care to admit telling girls let's grab drinks then they want some food when we at the restaurant or bar. I've learned long ago that the amount of money I spend doesn't correlate with the amount of coochie I get I would even say the cheaper I am initially the longer the girls tend to stick around if they like me. Girls have gotton hip to the "Drink" date. Where you know you getting drinks but then all of a sudden she is "hungry" A girl recently refused to go on a date with me after I told her we were just grabbing drinks and no dinner. Needless to say that wasn't a loss as she exposed herself and I saved money but more importantly time

I totally agree with being intentioal that's why I take months breaks from plates/dating. Last month for me was unsually as I was coming back of a 2 month break and caught fire although some girls were grenades I should not have taken out but it was fun to get my feet back in the game/

Here in Amsterdam just walking around looking at the freak show is already entertaining. And I know this city better than most guides will ever know, so if I'm 'entertaining' a young tourist, I take her to places where tourists rarely come and show her the dark underbelly of infamous Mokum.

Nothing wrong with taking walks or hikes I use to do that too for first dates, but I learned very quickly that for a lot of women it seems low effort, also harder to sexually escalate and didn't get a lot of 2nd dates. The older I get the better I get at vetting women to take on dates or not in my 20s I would take any girl out I truly was just happy to get a date. Now that I'm older I'm picky. Heck one of the hottest chicks I talked to recently I stopped talking too cause she wanted me to drive 20 minutes out of the place I originally planned to meet, I don't have time for that

Think of it as investing in a plate. $100 on a first date isn’t that much in my city, maybe 6 drinks or a decent dinner for 2. I go out on first dates 3-4 times a month so it’s not too bad.

Being in a nice venue and staff that knows you help a LOT to get a second date. Most of the time, they offer to split the bill, but I usually tell them to take care of the next one.

This works like Gold, usually women are eager to pay for the 2nd date if she really likes you usually the girls that scoff at this are women that don't care to see you again but the girl I'm seeing now she pays for stuff, I pay for stuff we don't bicker about it

 

[Travel memoir21]

70-100 bucks? How much is a cup of coffee 8 bucks?

 

[SW15]

I've learned long ago that the amount of money I spend doesn't correlate with the amount of coochie I get I would even say the cheaper I am initially the longer the girls tend to stick around if they like me.

There isn't that much of a correlation. It's best to keep the dates inexpensive.

I've been burned more times than I care to admit telling girls let's grab drinks then they want some food when we at the restaurant or bar.

Girls have gotton hip to the "Drink" date. Where you know you getting drinks but then all of a sudden she is "hungry" A girl recently refused to go on a date with me after I told her we were just grabbing drinks and no dinner.

I am able to identify with what you are describing.

The line between a bar and restaurant can be blurry at times with a lot of bars now serving food.

One of the better ways to keep a date drinks only is to schedule it later in the evening after typically dinner hours. An 8 or 8:30 PM start time often works well for this but the downside is that a date starting late will end late, even before the possibility of sex. Later start times work better for those who don't have to start work that early in the morning. 7:30 PM can also work as a start time and food can be avoided.

 

[BadWatermelon]

Unpopular opinion but if you're over 35 and worried about spending $50-$100 you shouldn't be dating
If you go on a lot of dates like 3 dates a week or 10 dates a month (June was a great month for me) then I totally understand however personally I'm trying to have fun and living in a nice part of town there some good places and fun things to do i.e. bowling, ax throwing, drinking etc. I don't take women on $500 dinner dates, I'm just saying if you dating smoke show's doing a coffee date isn't gonna make the panties wet, I do what I want on a date cause I feel like and not having to worry about penny-pinching

It's not gonna kill me financially. The problem is just that I think the date is going well, so I keep it going, but then I get ghosted.

I guess what I am looking for is better ways to vet the woman to make sure she's not just using me.

 

[BadWatermelon]

70-100 bucks? How much is a cup of coffee 8 bucks?

This is for alcoholic beverages. About $10-15 each where I live.

 

[SW15]

The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me.

This is common if you're using swipe apps to arrange first dates. Women have nearly unlimited choices so if you're not giving them "all the feelz" on the first date, then they are far less likely to want to do a 2nd date. They'd rather take their chances that someone else will give them the tingles.

I'd recommend meeting someone through a real life method, having an extended conversation from an approach (5-10 minutes) and then offering a date after a good conversation. This will reduce your quantity of first dates but might increase your percentage of first dates resulting in 2nd dates and ultimately sex. With fewer first dates, you also might be ok with spending more on a first date. However, spend level doesn't correlate that well with success on dates.

 

[Chow Mein]

There isn't that much of a correlation. It's best to keep the dates inexpensive.



I am able to identify with what you are describing.

The line between a bar and restaurant can be blurry at times with a lot of bars now serving food.

One of the better ways to keep a date drinks only is to schedule it later in the evening after typically dinner hours. An 8 or 8:30 PM start time often works well for this but the downside is that a date starting late will end late, even before the possibility of sex. Later start times work better for those who don't have to start work that early in the morning. 7:30 PM can also work as a start time and food can be avoided.

What I noticed is that you are analytical. If you balance the median between analytics and non-analytics, you’ll be the most efficient player

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Nothing wrong with taking walks or hikes I use to do that too for first dates, but I learned very quickly that for a lot of women it seems low effort, also harder to sexually escalate and didn't get a lot of 2nd dates.

I don't just 'take a walk', but I show them 'Unknown Amsterdam'. I take them places they never dare go by themselves. And the next date would often be at my place, drinking chilled white wine in my garden.

I guess what I am looking for is better ways to vet the woman to make sure she's not just using me.

See how much she's invested in the date. If she isn't enthusiastic, she's most likely looking for a free meal.

 

[Agamemnon43]

Offtopic but someone mentioned women forums where they talk about dating, men, etc. Can anyone link some of those forums? I'd like to get into their head and what they talk about, for fun,