Dinner Dates, Coffee, and Drinks

[Pierce Manhammer]

That's a strawman, what I actually advocate is to marry a virgin as young as possible. Go ahead and date as many 40yrs olds as you like, I just don't think that's anything special or newsworthy. Just as I don't think that making slightly above minimum wage is anything to be proud about or to keep belabouring.

Doesn't take personal experience necessarily. Smart guys learn by observing the mistakes other guys make and avoiding them in the first place. If you want to read some stories that I find inspiring, read @Colossus posts - TLDR, the guy dated his fair share of hoes but in the end he married a virgin. That in my view is a story with happy end, as opposed to being in your 50s and still pursuing hags from OLD. --> this is not a hidden dig at @Pierce Manhammer because as we all know, he dates attractive women from OLD.

All fine and well, my receipts have been posted a few times and members have seen proof, it’s all good. But this does beg the question: why do you care what I find attractive, sexy or otherwise?

If you’re going to say that they’re leftovers or unattractive, I’ve posted pics of partners before and the assembled have found them to be comely, as if it matters. I frankly do not care what you find attractive.

If I had advice for you on attracting and dating 20 something virgins I’d provide it to you. At 40 I’d think the pickings for you would be slim, and I’d help if I could. I’m here to edify, not to tear down men.

I’m not here to win the Internet. I also do not care to tell other men how to live their lives, or who to sleep with. When men here discuss their experiences and ask for advice I present MY POV, methods and results, which are based on real-world experiences, not something I read on the Internets.

I’m not telling them what to do or think or expect.

 

[pipeman84]

All fine and well, my receipts have been posted a few times and members have seen proof, it’s all good. But this does beg the question: why do you care what I find attractive, sexy or otherwise?

If you’re going to say that they’re leftovers or unattractive, I’ve posted pics of partners before and the assembled have found them to be comely, as if it matters. I frankly do not care what you find attractive.

If I had advice for you on attracting and dating 20 something virgins I’d provide it to you. At 40 I’d think the pickings for you would be slim, and I’d help if I could. I’m here to edify, not to tear down men.

I’m not here to win the Internet.

OP complained about wasting up to $70-100 on coffee/drinks dates only to be ghosted soon after the date and you hinted that it might be because he's not a renaissance man.
My point was that he's dating women with baggage and issues that he shouldn't be dating in the first place, even more so if he was indeed a renaissance man.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That's all there is to it.

 

[Dr.Suave]

[QUOTE="Dr.Suave, post: 3120443, member: 135401"
In the past, members have accused @pipeman84 of being an envious guy. I dont feel this is case, I think its more like he´s looking out for the average SoSuave poster.

Looking out for the average poster by dismissing other poster’s personal experience is not productive, it’s sour grapes.

Not sure if I would call It "sour grapes" but obviously we can agree that posters's personal experiences should not be dismissed.

But I dont know if he's dismissing them or just saying "Not for me".

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

#MINOR HIJACK

People in glass houses should not throw stones.

Many men on this forum give dating advice and offer answers to every potential situation, but they have (in some cases, self-admittedly) no experience in the areas discussed. No experience in the area should be the line in the sand for offering advice; it is IMPOSSIBLE to reason with insufficient data. It's even more egregious when the lion's share of what they offer is net negative or veiled personal attacks.

Do I post on investing in the stock markets? No, as I have minimal experience besides cashing in RSUs and ESOs, that's it. I'd be doing a disservice to the folks reading my posts. But in areas I have real, recent, and actionable experience in, fck yeah, I'm going to opine and offer my experiences.

 

[Canadian_Man]

As we’ve discussed ad nauseam for years on the forum, everyone has their strategies. The strategies I describe do not work for everyone because not everyone fits the the mold I do or has the willpower to follow them - they are certainly not panacea - all a man can do is describe his own successes, in an attempt to help those less fortunate.

Some men prefer to sit around and discuss strategies that are unachievable for them, using it as an excuse for their lack of initiative and crippling insecurity.

Just because online dating (OLD) doesn’t work for you (resulting in limited access to women you find attractive), it doesn’t mean that men in other parts of the world or country don’t succeed online. Similarly, not all women, older than your hypothetical 22-year-old virgin are unattractive, as you might have us believe.

Furthermore, not all single or divorced moms fit the negative stereotypes you’ve perpetuated over the years. And just because you’ve (allegedly) had bad experiences doesn’t mean that other men describing their methods or successes are lying or dating unattractive women.

Be well.

p.s. Incidentally, I've noticed that you do not describe interactions you've had with women, or offer any advice to other men on the forum. Most of your posts consist or "only date 22 year old virgins", "other men who are successful with women are dating warthogs" and generally combative and negative responses to posts. Why do you not regale us with your time tested and battle-proven strategies that you've used to secure all your 22 year old vestal virgins?

Agreed, many of his posts carry the message of "too old, not a virgin, judgemental eye roll".

 

[Chow Mein]

If you're a charming man, you don't need to splurge 70 euro on coffee dates. I don't even pay that much for dinner and Amsterdam is in the Top 50 of most expensive cities. 15 quid for a coffee date sounds about right.

You’ve ever bring your cat(s) to The Social Hub?

 

[BaronOfHair]

That's a strawman, what I actually advocate is to marry a virgin as young as possible

A fella can do that right after he's got Doc Brown to loan him The DeLorean, then traveled back to The 1100s, where 12 year old girls are regularly betrothed to men in their 30s-all points beyond. Otherwise, he's well-advised to start creating a great life here in the present day

 

[Solomon]

Unpopular opinion but if you're over 35 and worried about spending $50-$100 you shouldn't be dating
If you go on a lot of dates like 3 dates a week or 10 dates a month (June was a great month for me) then I totally understand however personally I'm trying to have fun and living in a nice part of town there some good places and fun things to do i.e. bowling, ax throwing, drinking etc. I don't take women on $500 dinner dates, I'm just saying if you dating smoke show's doing a coffee date isn't gonna make the panties wet, I do what I want on a date cause I feel like and not having to worry about penny-pinching

 

[SW15]

One of the better ways to save money is to be intentional on who you date. Screen well. I find that I am able to screen more effectively with real life meeting methods than screening women from tech-based methods.

Drinks in a moderately priced bar or bars (multivenue-ing is your friend) is the best tactic and plan for a first date.

Avoid coffee dates. It's difficult to create sexual tension in them.

Avoid dinner dates in restaurants. They are expensive and it is also difficult to create sexual tension on one.

Too many men in the 2020s are still lazy and still use dinner dates in restaurants as first dates. These are the type of men that never make it on to SoSuave or similar type forums.

 

[Solomon]

Not 'worried', just not spending much on dates. I can just hold on to my women so I don't need to be on the prowl every week.

I get it however the women I deal with tend to like to go out, and also are active, the only women that are fine with being in the house all day where the ones that were fat lol. Just being honest, IME if you dating smokeshows it's gonna cost either with time or money

Here in the states you can go Bowling it cost $40 For 2 Games for 2 people or Ax Throwing 30 minutes is $20 most these are my go to most women you would be shocked haven't gone on a Ax throwing date ever or bowling in years most guys tend to do the same thing (drinks and coffee) I like to be creative with how I approach a woman with seduction

Game is Game

 

[Solomon]

.

One of the better ways to save money is to be intentional on who you date. Screen well. I find that I am able to screen more effectively with real life meeting methods than screening women from tech-based methods.

Drinks in a moderately priced bar or bars (multivenue-ing is your friend) is the best tactic and plan for a first date.

Avoid coffee dates. It's difficult to create sexual tension in them.

Avoid dinner dates in restaurants. They are expensive and it is also difficult to create sexual tension on one.

Too many men in the 2020s are still lazy and still use dinner dates in restaurants as first dates. These are the type of men that never make it on to SoSuave or similar type forums.

I agree with this like OP. I've been burned more times than I care to admit telling girls let's grab drinks then they want some food when we at the restaurant or bar. I've learned long ago that the amount of money I spend doesn't correlate with the amount of coochie I get I would even say the cheaper I am initially the longer the girls tend to stick around if they like me. Girls have gotton hip to the "Drink" date. Where you know you getting drinks but then all of a sudden she is "hungry" A girl recently refused to go on a date with me after I told her we were just grabbing drinks and no dinner. Needless to say that wasn't a loss as she exposed herself and I saved money but more importantly time

I totally agree with being intentioal that's why I take months breaks from plates/dating. Last month for me was unsually as I was coming back of a 2 month break and caught fire although some girls were grenades I should not have taken out but it was fun to get my feet back in the game/

Here in Amsterdam just walking around looking at the freak show is already entertaining. And I know this city better than most guides will ever know, so if I'm 'entertaining' a young tourist, I take her to places where tourists rarely come and show her the dark underbelly of infamous Mokum.

Nothing wrong with taking walks or hikes I use to do that too for first dates, but I learned very quickly that for a lot of women it seems low effort, also harder to sexually escalate and didn't get a lot of 2nd dates. The older I get the better I get at vetting women to take on dates or not in my 20s I would take any girl out I truly was just happy to get a date. Now that I'm older I'm picky. Heck one of the hottest chicks I talked to recently I stopped talking too cause she wanted me to drive 20 minutes out of the place I originally planned to meet, I don't have time for that

Think of it as investing in a plate. $100 on a first date isn’t that much in my city, maybe 6 drinks or a decent dinner for 2. I go out on first dates 3-4 times a month so it’s not too bad.

Being in a nice venue and staff that knows you help a LOT to get a second date. Most of the time, they offer to split the bill, but I usually tell them to take care of the next one.

This works like Gold, usually women are eager to pay for the 2nd date if she really likes you usually the girls that scoff at this are women that don't care to see you again but the girl I'm seeing now she pays for stuff, I pay for stuff we don't bicker about it

 

[Travel memoir21]

70-100 bucks? How much is a cup of coffee 8 bucks?

 

[SW15]

I've learned long ago that the amount of money I spend doesn't correlate with the amount of coochie I get I would even say the cheaper I am initially the longer the girls tend to stick around if they like me.

There isn't that much of a correlation. It's best to keep the dates inexpensive.

I've been burned more times than I care to admit telling girls let's grab drinks then they want some food when we at the restaurant or bar.

Girls have gotton hip to the "Drink" date. Where you know you getting drinks but then all of a sudden she is "hungry" A girl recently refused to go on a date with me after I told her we were just grabbing drinks and no dinner.

I am able to identify with what you are describing.

The line between a bar and restaurant can be blurry at times with a lot of bars now serving food.

One of the better ways to keep a date drinks only is to schedule it later in the evening after typically dinner hours. An 8 or 8:30 PM start time often works well for this but the downside is that a date starting late will end late, even before the possibility of sex. Later start times work better for those who don't have to start work that early in the morning. 7:30 PM can also work as a start time and food can be avoided.

 

[BadWatermelon]

Unpopular opinion but if you're over 35 and worried about spending $50-$100 you shouldn't be dating
If you go on a lot of dates like 3 dates a week or 10 dates a month (June was a great month for me) then I totally understand however personally I'm trying to have fun and living in a nice part of town there some good places and fun things to do i.e. bowling, ax throwing, drinking etc. I don't take women on $500 dinner dates, I'm just saying if you dating smoke show's doing a coffee date isn't gonna make the panties wet, I do what I want on a date cause I feel like and not having to worry about penny-pinching

It's not gonna kill me financially. The problem is just that I think the date is going well, so I keep it going, but then I get ghosted.

I guess what I am looking for is better ways to vet the woman to make sure she's not just using me.

 

[BadWatermelon]

70-100 bucks? How much is a cup of coffee 8 bucks?

This is for alcoholic beverages. About $10-15 each where I live.

 

[SW15]

The date seems to go well, but then all of a sudden after the date, she stops texting me.

This is common if you're using swipe apps to arrange first dates. Women have nearly unlimited choices so if you're not giving them "all the feelz" on the first date, then they are far less likely to want to do a 2nd date. They'd rather take their chances that someone else will give them the tingles.

I'd recommend meeting someone through a real life method, having an extended conversation from an approach (5-10 minutes) and then offering a date after a good conversation. This will reduce your quantity of first dates but might increase your percentage of first dates resulting in 2nd dates and ultimately sex. With fewer first dates, you also might be ok with spending more on a first date. However, spend level doesn't correlate that well with success on dates.

 

[Chow Mein]

There isn't that much of a correlation. It's best to keep the dates inexpensive.



I am able to identify with what you are describing.

The line between a bar and restaurant can be blurry at times with a lot of bars now serving food.

One of the better ways to keep a date drinks only is to schedule it later in the evening after typically dinner hours. An 8 or 8:30 PM start time often works well for this but the downside is that a date starting late will end late, even before the possibility of sex. Later start times work better for those who don't have to start work that early in the morning. 7:30 PM can also work as a start time and food can be avoided.

What I noticed is that you are analytical. If you balance the median between analytics and non-analytics, you’ll be the most efficient player

 

[Agamemnon43]

Offtopic but someone mentioned women forums where they talk about dating, men, etc. Can anyone link some of those forums? I'd like to get into their head and what they talk about, for fun,