Did I make a mistake not making a move?

[Rainrain]

yeah, guilty as charged, never was a fan of that role, even though i don't like to use it as a crutch, well not as much as i used to early one when i found out i had it, it doesn't help that i have autism.

In reality, tons of women make the first move. They either start liking your pictures, react to your stories, friend you in social media, comment your pictures, some start chatting you up with a “what’s up”, or strike a conversation in real life. However, you have to be good looking, work on your body, excel at something, have a great lifestyle, travel, a cool hobby, have a good reputation, or have money. I am guessing you don’t have any of the above though.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

so in other words, guys with autism can get results, yeah i'm opening to believing that

Of course. To believe otherwise is fatalistic.

It is possible to mimic feelings without feeling them, psychopaths do it every day.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

In reality, tons of women make the first move. They either start liking your pictures, react to your stories, friend you in social media, comment your pictures, some start chatting you up with a “what’s up”, or strike a conversation in real life.

To be frank, most of those 'first moves' on social media are not done by women but (probably male) scammers and OF 'influencers'.

However, you have to be good looking, work on your body, excel at something, have a great lifestyle, travel, a cool hobby, have a good reputation, or have money.

Or just not be a creep.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

In reality, tons of women make the first move. They either start liking your pictures, react to your stories, friend you in social media, comment your pictures, some start chatting you up with a “what’s up”, or strike a conversation in real life. However, you have to be good looking, work on your body, excel at something, have a great lifestyle, travel, a cool hobby, have a good reputation, or have money. I am guessing you don’t have any of the above though.

interesting, i've long been under the impression that even handsome good looking, high status men, normally never have women throwing themselves at them, or normally never have women hitting on them.

 

[Rainrain]

interesting, i've long been under the impression that even handsome good looking, high status men, normally never have women throwing themselves at them, or normally never have women hitting on them.

I wouldn't say "throw themselves" at them but women open the channels of communication and provide choosing signals, making it easier for the person they are attracted to. The guy still has to initiate and lead somehow just like you and I. Hot guys will ask the girls out, and some will chicken out and flake on him, but they have thick skin and they are not whimps. They will have to escalate and read choosing signals. Life is not potn where you just lay on the bed and the girl does everything for you.

As an example, this is the instagram of someone that posted a picture in his motorcycle and a picture in the Mediterrenean (Sorry it is in Spanish). You need to moderate wealth to do this but at the same time, you don't have to be overly attractive. Just the aura that you are interesting and cool suffices. The guy has 900 followers so you don't need to be an influencer. Most of the people liking the pictures are from social game or people he has known for years.

This can be done by you.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I wouldn't say "throw themselves" at them but women open the channels of communication and provide choosing signals, making it easier for the person they are attracted to. The guy still has to initiate and lead somehow just like you and I. Hot guys will ask the girls out, and some will chicken out and flake on him, but they have thick skin and they are not whimps. They will have to escalate and read choosing signals. Life is not potn where you just lay on the bed and the girl does everything for you.

I'd say, women offer themselves to the men they're attracted to.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I wouldn't say "throw themselves" at them but women open the channels of communication and provide choosing signals, making it easier for the person they are attracted to. The guy still has to initiate and lead somehow just like you and I. Hot guys will ask the girls out, and some will chicken out and flake on him, but they have thick skin and they are not whimps. They will have to escalate and read choosing signals. Life is not potn where you just lay on the bed and the girl does everything for you.

As an example, this is the instagram of someone that posted a picture in his motorcycle and a picture in the Mediterrenean (Sorry it is in Spanish). You need to moderate wealth to do this but at the same time, you don't have to be overly attractive. Just the aura that you are interesting and cool suffices. The guy has 900 followers so you don't need to be an influencer. Most of the people liking the pictures are from social game or people he has known for years.

This can be done by you.

View attachment 12757

View attachment 12758

yup, men are the initiators always and forever, men are stuck with that role whether we like it or not

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

yup, men are the initiators always and forever, men are stuck with that role whether we like it or not

Not necessarily.

 

[BPH]

There was this girl in my apartment building I met a while back. Ivy league educated, attractive blonde in her early 30s, works in private equity but actually has a chill WFH schedule. We're in NYC. Anyways this girl is probably one of the nicest I'd ever met. Super intelligent, has the "happy gene", dresses modestly, very chatty and kind. She's probably an 8/10.

Thing is, when I first met her, she gave off the vibe of an ambitious, hypergamous career type women with a masculine personality (it's not that she isn't feminine, it's that she's just super outgoing and has clearly been dating a lot and believes in the feminist ideology). I know she's receptive towards me because of her body language and some stuff she said early on.

Anyways, one day we had dinner with some people and we started talking about dating, and she basically blurted out that she hooked up with some guy that did work on her car (she invited him to her place), and that she felt "empowered" by it (she was laughing when she said it). That comment right there basically confirmed to me that I was correct about the type of person she was. My gut was 100% right. However, I'm also curious if she felt comfortable saying it because her social status was higher than everyone there, myself included.

Problem is - even after that comment, I'm wondering if it was just a momentary lapse in her judgement. She's still single and looking for that perfect guy. Apparently she broke up with her fiancé a few years ago, likely to find someone better.

The hard part for me is that I see who she is at face value and I'm having a hard time believing she actually sleeps around a lot. To the point where I'm almost willing to overlook it. However I have a feeling this is setting me up for disaster down the line if I pursue. Women who say stuff like that can't be trusted right? To me she is otherwise perfect, but I have a feeling she is behaving that way since her time is running out.

Having read nothing other than this original post, I don't understand the reason for it.

You're talking like this is a person from your past and you're wondering "what could've been".

Did you make a mistake by not making a move? I mean yeah, if you wanted to f*** her, you need to initiate. Sounds like you had this whole weird fantasy of her potentially not living up to the standards you've set for her in your head...I don't know why you posted this, nothing you've described indicates she's shown any interest in you - and yet you're hoping she lives up to YOUR standards when you probably aren't even on her radar.

The one thing I will say, is that if a woman is comfortable publicly talking about her past hookups, she's probably not interested in anybody in that audience - AKA she's not worried about being potentially disqualified by putting out too much information.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Not necessarily.

Not necessarily.

yeah, okay i will admit, part of the reason for my attitude lately, is well i got out of a failed relationship with someone i was incompatible with, it didn't feel like a normal relationship, she didn't feel like a true girlfriend, i will admit, i stayed with her longer than i should have is because i didn't want to become alone again.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

yeah, okay i will admit, part of the reason for my attitude lately, is well i got out of a failed relationship with someone i was incompatible with, it didn't feel like a normal relationship, she didn't feel like a true girlfriend, i will admit, i stayed with her longer than i should have is because i didn't want to become alone again.

Acknowledgment is the first step towards recovery. You've been lied to your whole life. All you deem important in life has no value unless you attach meaning, but most is sentiment. What others think is irrelevant, they have their own shyte to work through. When you understand how you hurt yourself, you can establish boundaries with other people and give them consequences when they cross them. Men of principle are treated with respect. Don't stick around people who disrespect you, they're not worth your attention and validation.

And make sure to read my sig.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Acknowledgment is the first step towards recovery. You've been lied to your whole life. All you deem important in life has no value unless you attach meaning, but most is sentiment. What others think is irrelevant, they have their own shyte to work through. When you understand how you hurt yourself, you can establish boundaries with other people and give them consequences when they cross them. Men of principle are treated with respect. Don't stick around people who disrespect you, they're not worth your attention and validation.

And make sure to read my sig.

yup, definetley a huge major step, i can think of a sarcastic way of making a move on a woman, as i do make my move physically, i can speak at the same time, "okay i'm making my move on you because i'm a man and its what we do"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

interesting, i've long been under the impression that even handsome good looking, high status men, normally never have women throwing themselves at them, or normally never have women hitting on them.

You must not get out much. I was at a bar with one dude who was literally male model good looking from one of the Balkan countries and within 10 minutes of him getting there a really good looking woman came up to him, said a few words and he took out back behind a dumpster and fvcked the sh!t out of her then came back in about 20 minutes later and told us what happened and we were like "Did you know her?" And he was like "I've never seen her before in my life"...

Not even 10 minutes later the girls friend who was even hotter than she was walked up to him and in front of all of us asked him "When is it my turn?" And he said "right now, let's go". And she followed him out back and he fvcked her too.

I suggest you actually get out more. Women can be very aggressive when they want something and are in the right situations.

As a former house club DJ I've seen plenty of other scenarios not much different than the one above

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

You must not get out much. I was at a bar with one dude who was literally male model good looking from one of the Balkan countries and within 10 minutes of him getting there a really good looking woman came up to him, said a few words and he took out back behind a dumpster and fvcked the sh!t out of her then came back in about 20 minutes later and told us what happened and we were like "Did you know her?" And he was like "I've never seen her before in my life"...

Not even 10 minutes later the girls friend who was even hotter than she was walked up to him and in front of all of us asked him "When is it my turn?" And he said "right now, let's go". And she followed him out back and he fvcked her too.

I suggest you actually get out more. Women can be very aggressive when they want something and are in the right situations.

As a former house club DJ I've seen plenty of other scenarios not much different than the one above

interesting, something you would never expect