Depressing reddit post - what advice can be given to the masses of men in this situation?

[Hamurabimbi]

Do you continue to lead the relationship after the initial approach is made? Do interactions sometimes fizzle out?

From my understanding of the “like to be approached” perspective, it seems that these men want women to not only initiate the original interaction but also take charge of logistics, finances, and intimacy. They prefer being the hunted rather than the hunter. I could be mistaken, though.

I don’t think it is binary. As if one had to choose to be the ‘hunter or hunted’. Nor do I think ‘these men’ are a particular group. Being approached is just a thing that happens on occasion. Just part of life. I don’t think it affects whether one leads or follows in other aspects of a relationship.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don’t think it is binary. As if one had to choose to be the ‘hunter or hunted’. Nor do I think ‘these men’ are a particular group. Being approached is just a thing that happens on occasion. Just part of life. I don’t think it affects whether one leads or follows in other aspects of a relationship.

Not to mention that up to half the girls that approach you are not attractive to you.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I don’t think it is binary. As if one had to choose to be the ‘hunter or hunted’. Nor do I think ‘these men’ are a particular group. Being approached is just a thing that happens on occasion. Just part of life. I don’t think it affects whether one leads or follows in other aspects of a relationship.

You know, 'these men' are one particular group that often complain about not getting approached or IOIs or don't take action. I hope you understand what I’m hinting at.

But I get what you mean about how being approached or not doesn’t influence relationship dynamics. Thanks for elaborating!

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don’t think it affects whether one leads or follows in other aspects of a relationship.

Not always, but the girls who chase me end up following my lead. Then again, I don't follow anyone's lead but my own.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Get rid of the self defeatist attitude

Stop lusting over online women way way way out of their leauge

Stop watching p*rn

Get a skill in something

Learn to cook / dance / sing / play guitar whatever ( these hobbies are like chick crack )

Start fishing in shallower waters , there are PLENTY of 4/5/6's out there who are getting ZERO male attention because they physically can't compete with the more attractive women

Earlier I the year I randomly ended up living with a HB5 redhead ok she wasn't going to win any beauty awards but she was a decent girl and with a bit of makeup would defenitley get someone going

in the 6 months I lived with her she got a grand total of 1 date , I fvcked 6 different women in the same period

These girls are not difficult to please and will give equal effort if you've got fvck all experience with women this is where you have to start like it or not.

Often, the 4s, 5s and 6s can be extremely picky as many men have the attitude that they will be easier due to getting less attention than more attractive women. This is known as "Juggernaut theory".

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Stop lusting over online women way way way out of their leauge

Stop watching p*rn

I'd add that checking out all the ladies on social media also gives one unrealistic expectations.

Get off the internet and practice talking to people in real life and build some genuine social skills.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Often, the 4s, 5s and 6s can be extremely picky as many men have the attitude that they will be easier due to getting less attention than more attractive women. This is known as "Juggernaut theory".

Fvcking incels again:

"Juggernaut law is a theory that has become popular on many internet boards dedicated to young males, particularly on South Korean internet boards. The theory states that the most unattractive women receive a surprisingly large amount of attention from men, sometimes more attention than women of average attractiveness. The name of the law derives from the idea that women's attractiveness is 'unstoppable' like a Juggernaut. The juggernaut law can be considered a "bro-sciency" consequence of the Baterman's principle. as female choosiness causes an oversupply of desperate and undesired males." - incel wiki

Such an awesome word and meaning attached at something so cringe as an incel 'theory' on ugly women getting more attention from men. Right. Sure. Whatever, dud.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Fvcking incels again:

Such an awesome word and meaning attached at something so cringe as an incel 'theory' on ugly women getting more attention from men. Right. Sure. Whatever, dud.

There is a lot of truth to it. Look at the amount of attention hideous/average women get on apps. Often, they're even more stuck up.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

There is a lot of truth to it. Look at the amount of attention hideous/average women get on apps. Often, they're even more stuck up.

Correction, that is solely on apps, not in real life. In reality, unattractive women are a lot less stuck up in person.

Just because social media encourages 'body positivity' and 'fat acceptance' doesn't mean that society changes their beauty standards. Ugly women don't get more attention than average looking women unless you count mockery and freakish desires like feeders on dating apps.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Correction, that is solely on apps, not in real life. In reality, unattractive women are a lot less stuck up in person.

Just because social media encourages 'body positivity' and 'fat acceptance' doesn't mean that society changes their beauty standards. Ugly women don't get more attention than average looking women unless you count mockery and freakish desires like feeders on dating apps.

That can certainly transfer over to real life. I've seen even decent looking guys getting rejected by horrendous looking women.

Even at bars, men can be so desperate to go for ugly women as they think that less men will be into them and less competition. Women are just far more picky overall and many men are absolutely desperate.

Ironically, I've often found hot women to be far more down to earth and friendly than average and below women.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Ironically, I've often found hot women to be far more down to earth and friendly than average and below women.

That's actually not that ironic. Most guys are intimidated by a woman's attractiveness and they pre-reject themselves by aborting any approach, even if they get indications of interest.
As a result, beautiful women get fewer approaches. And most approaches are by men who want them as trophies. So if you're not intimidated by female beauty and able to hold a normal conversation, they are incredibly impressed by your lack of nervousness or uncertainty.

 

[MatureDJ]

“The right one will come along when you least expect it.”

Umm not really lol.

SerendipityCope.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Often, the 4s, 5s and 6s can be extremely picky as many men have the attitude that they will be easier due to getting less attention than more attractive women. This is known as "Juggernaut theory".

This is total nonsense

 

[MatureDJ]

A man is wise to calibrate his expectations: If he's expecting his kill count to be comparable to that of The Rat Pack's at the height of their fame, then no... That's not likely to happen, nor frankly SHOULD it. TRP was doing all that s-it in a world that was Pre-AIDS, and those days have been gone for at least 40 years now

"There are a lot of guys that will make some progress in self-improvement but not nearly enough to be competitive in one of the harshest sexual marketplaces in history"

It's tough out there sometimes, that said, today's environment sure as hell beats the first several centuries of our species, where guys gained and lost their women via tribal raids and killing off potential rivals. For all the obstacles we face here in '24, there's ample cause to be grateful as well

Well, the idea that was that it was REALLY OVER for a lot of men (i.e., dying in battle), but the ones that survived had a cornucopia of poon.

 

[MatureDJ]

7. Always put God first

I have another recent post that goes into how men are more religious than women these days.

 

[MatureDJ]

‘You know how humiliating it is to never have a girl approach you and say you're handsome,’

This only happens if one is very good looking. Most men are not very good looking. Hence. most men will not experience: ‘a girl approach you and say you're handsome,’.

My guess is he has a very good looking friend & he expects, since it’s happened to his friend, it will happen to him.

What is even worse is when the only ones that do this are extraordinarily fat & nasty.

 

[MatureDJ]

I had a group of girls approached me....while I was in the Military....I was at that mall hallways and I was thinking of something really funny in my head and I had a huge smile on my face....... and they all said....' Hey you must be one really happy dude...' haha.....

Could be your vibe also that attracts them...if you won a million bucks that day, a girl could spot that a mile away.

I once smiled at an attractive chick, and she nastily snarled back, "what are you smiling at?".

 

[MatureDJ]

Frankly, women have to put in effort if they want men to find them desirable also. Case in point: Kathleen Turner. She started boozing, drugging, and living a generally unhealthy life right as her star was on the rise during The 80s. By '91, she was a punchline, and has remained so ever since

She was quite hot back in the day, although I could tell that she was a bit flat for her general physique.

Now? YIKES!

'Body Heat' at 40: Kathleen Turner recalls 'misguided' decision to film all-nude sex scene on the first day

Kathleen Turner reveals challenges of shooting her first movie "Body Heat" as the steamy neo-noir thriller turns 40.

www.yahoo.com

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I once smiled at an attractive chick, and she nastily snarled back, "what are you smiling at?".

"I'm smiling at a beautiful apple with a totally rotten core."
And then widen your smile and wait for her response, which will be either amused or angry.
Regardless of her response, you can say, "Are you going to prove me wrong?"

 

[MatureDJ]

My experience has been that being approached has little to do with being passive or being relaxed (or being happy).
I like being approached. It’s a nice dopamine rush.

I think that for a lot of men, the only time that they get approached by decently attractive women is at a strip joint or brothel (or a night-club that is known to be a bit of a brothel).