NewMan
Master Don Juan
That's a mistake in my opinion.
No need to flip out and loose your cool and show her that she's got to you.
Be cool and claculating.
Except it - and let her feel the reprocusions (putting her on ice).
Dating girl for 4 months - no sex yet
- Thread starter bigmil
- Start date
- Status
No need to flip out and loose your cool and show her that she's got to you.
Be cool and claculating.
Except it - and let her feel the reprocusions (putting her on ice).
Okay bigmil, let's say you could definitively 'diagnose' her with one (or more) of the following:
1.) Has mega-trust issues due to past relationship failures.
2.) Past relationship abuse by partner causing fear of intimacy.
3.) Carries a STD, fears giving it to you.
4.) Extreme guilt/fear of being labeled a slvtty.
5.) Father/authorative figure in past did something nasty.
6.) Is hiding a drug/alcohol dependency.
7.) Values your friendship, yet sees no potential for LTR.
8.) Can't have children.
9.) Experiences pain during the act.
10.) Vulpine's theory.
11.) You're too big for her.
12.) Has a personally disorder or mental illness.
13.) She secretly want to be a man.
14.) Her friends don't approve of you.
15.) She's worried you'll abandon her.
16.) A technicality excuse, not going all the way means not s3x.
17.) She wants a bad boy and you're being 'nice' doesn't compute for her.
18.) Her God told her it isn't right.
19.) She had an abortion and can't deal with this level of intimacy.
nn.) ....(theory, theory, theory, blah, blah, blah...)
Okay bigmill, now put your best friend or brother in this same situation with the known diagnosis above. Would you honestly recommend that they continue on with his 'conquest' or would you actually advise moving on to sarge and date others?
PS. If you do answer 'continue on' would please let us know if factors driving that decision have something do with a need to save/rescue.
1.) Has mega-trust issues due to past relationship failures.
2.) Past relationship abuse by partner causing fear of intimacy.
3.) Carries a STD, fears giving it to you.
4.) Extreme guilt/fear of being labeled a slvtty.
5.) Father/authorative figure in past did something nasty.
6.) Is hiding a drug/alcohol dependency.
7.) Values your friendship, yet sees no potential for LTR.
8.) Can't have children.
9.) Experiences pain during the act.
10.) Vulpine's theory.
11.) You're too big for her.
12.) Has a personally disorder or mental illness.
13.) She secretly want to be a man.
14.) Her friends don't approve of you.
15.) She's worried you'll abandon her.
16.) A technicality excuse, not going all the way means not s3x.
17.) She wants a bad boy and you're being 'nice' doesn't compute for her.
18.) Her God told her it isn't right.
19.) She had an abortion and can't deal with this level of intimacy.
nn.) ....(theory, theory, theory, blah, blah, blah...)
Okay bigmill, now put your best friend or brother in this same situation with the known diagnosis above. Would you honestly recommend that they continue on with his 'conquest' or would you actually advise moving on to sarge and date others?
PS. If you do answer 'continue on' would please let us know if factors driving that decision have something do with a need to save/rescue.
Excellent theory dude 
Fact # 1.) Her desire/interest clearly would never be enough for 100% intimacy.
Fact # 2.) "with 3 men" ==> "with lots of men".
My theory regarding bigmil: She's been with lots of guys, feels way beyond normal slvtty, picked up a disease or had an abortion and is no longer able to process being in an fully intimate relationship for fear of being judged/rejected if open & honest regarding her past. In a way bigmil should be able to partially reframe this in a good way, to some extent she saw him as a good guy and trusted him as much as her wiring could support. I believe that is the all he should take from [and then immediately leave] this situation. He also needs to recognize the magnitude of his rescuer/saviour programming, realize how far he allowed it to guide him down a path with no clear end and then start to deprogramming.
PS. Not sure if I would advise the rape inquiry, that's her luggage to carry or open up and go through.
I tried getting somewhere with a woman once who exhibited some of these 'symptoms' bigmil has recounted (everything but 100% intimacy). I had heard the chatter before that she was quite 'promiscuous'. Well, I definitely hold myself accountable for not allowing myself to hear that (oh to go back a couple decades and get a do-over!). Anyhow, in the end I realized there were two major factors at play:Vulpine said:
Fact # 1.) Her desire/interest clearly would never be enough for 100% intimacy.
Fact # 2.) "with 3 men" ==> "with lots of men".
My theory regarding bigmil: She's been with lots of guys, feels way beyond normal slvtty, picked up a disease or had an abortion and is no longer able to process being in an fully intimate relationship for fear of being judged/rejected if open & honest regarding her past. In a way bigmil should be able to partially reframe this in a good way, to some extent she saw him as a good guy and trusted him as much as her wiring could support. I believe that is the all he should take from [and then immediately leave] this situation. He also needs to recognize the magnitude of his rescuer/saviour programming, realize how far he allowed it to guide him down a path with no clear end and then start to deprogramming.
PS. Not sure if I would advise the rape inquiry, that's her luggage to carry or open up and go through.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
I can't buy the slvtty way beyond normal theory. That just doesn't vibe with sucking bigmil's c0ck every time they meet.
Just the fact of spending time trying to figure it out, is a waste of time. Bigmil's better off saving a real 'Ho - at least he'd be getting regular poon.
Just the fact of spending time trying to figure it out, is a waste of time. Bigmil's better off saving a real 'Ho - at least he'd be getting regular poon.
Excellent theory by Vulpine as well as this one. Normally, a girl wouldn't have that big a hang-up with "technical" sex unless she's Christian.Sinistar said:
So, I'm dying of curiosity now. I wonder what's REALLY been holding her back?
1) Prior rape
2) STD (I know she denied this, but who knows?)
3) Prior abortion
4) ?
I also know a girl who admitted to having slept around quite a bit in a short span but now is very closed and guarded. She has some huge blockages now and I am wondering what exactly is holding her back, out of curiosity? I know a lot of girls tend to flip-flop from one extreme to the other, but there's often also a specific reason for that.
If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
In short I agree with everything Rollo has posted, along with most everyone else.
She's playing the victim to control the frame. Abusive exes, family fueds, - these are textbook victim cards, none of which would stop a person from f*cking their partner if they wanted to. She is enjoying being a c*ck-tease, look into your heart and tell me it isn't so.
I'm very pleased you are taking the advice here. If you want sex with this woman you need the upper hand which you will only get when she fears losing you. Alternatively find a woman who doesn't play games with your head and balls.
She's playing the victim to control the frame. Abusive exes, family fueds, - these are textbook victim cards, none of which would stop a person from f*cking their partner if they wanted to. She is enjoying being a c*ck-tease, look into your heart and tell me it isn't so.
I'm very pleased you are taking the advice here. If you want sex with this woman you need the upper hand which you will only get when she fears losing you. Alternatively find a woman who doesn't play games with your head and balls.
Maximus Rex
Banned
You have a choice:
1) Use her for a head jobs and t-effin'
2) Dump That B*tch.
I would ask if she's effin somebody else though. Explain to her that wouldn't be mad if she is. If she is f*cking somebody else, ask why does she come to you and let you do everything but sex? Does she only get off on doing everything but the act? If so why?
If she isn't effin' somebody else, ask her doesn't she think that by doing everything but the act, that your eventually going to want sex? Then ask her if she acknowledges that fact then would she get you aroused, then not want to eff?
Your on the right track by talking to other women, but why is a woman a slut by giving some on the first night? That's what you want. It's not reflection on a woman's character if she effs you on the first night. Just because she gave you some on the first night doesn't mean she gives everybody some on the first date. With that being said, it doesn't mean that she hasn't done it before. You need to get this antiquated misguided notion that women that f*ck on the first date ae sluts out of your mind. What are you, scared of assertive, aggressive women that would what they want?
1) Use her for a head jobs and t-effin'
2) Dump That B*tch.
I would ask if she's effin somebody else though. Explain to her that wouldn't be mad if she is. If she is f*cking somebody else, ask why does she come to you and let you do everything but sex? Does she only get off on doing everything but the act? If so why?
If she isn't effin' somebody else, ask her doesn't she think that by doing everything but the act, that your eventually going to want sex? Then ask her if she acknowledges that fact then would she get you aroused, then not want to eff?
Your on the right track by talking to other women, but why is a woman a slut by giving some on the first night? That's what you want. It's not reflection on a woman's character if she effs you on the first night. Just because she gave you some on the first night doesn't mean she gives everybody some on the first date. With that being said, it doesn't mean that she hasn't done it before. You need to get this antiquated misguided notion that women that f*ck on the first date ae sluts out of your mind. What are you, scared of assertive, aggressive women that would what they want?
Skip,
My experience is that from the pool of "great ones" (as to choose for marriage) the best bet is women that are in her 20s. Especially if she has not set her ways yet.
An alpha type man with some DJ skills (something that is develop throughout the years) can get a woman like that and make her adjust her behavior in such a fashion that she would be in a "blitz state" for many years. To the point that she will respect you and follow you, while managing to be independent (if you do things right).
I was fortunate to do something like that. Sadly, I matured, changed (in a good way), but failed to adjust my ex-wife with me. She did nothing wrong, but I changed as most men do in their mid 30s...so, I left her. Sad part is that she still crazy for me.
Women truly start noticing the hard to change/adjust women when you see them in their very late 20s. In their 30s they become VERY bad and bitter. And in their 40s they cannot be changed, but they are smart enough as to hide their defects by clouding us with lot of sex (knowing well Menopause is around the corner and sex will be reduced considerably).
Now, there lot of damage goods in their early 20s too. Don't get me wrong. But there also lot of great women out there too...you just have to get them young and hopefully with sites like this one you can develop some skills so when you are in your late 20s or early 30s...you can find a 20something good one and make her the lucky one.
My experience is that from the pool of "great ones" (as to choose for marriage) the best bet is women that are in her 20s. Especially if she has not set her ways yet.
An alpha type man with some DJ skills (something that is develop throughout the years) can get a woman like that and make her adjust her behavior in such a fashion that she would be in a "blitz state" for many years. To the point that she will respect you and follow you, while managing to be independent (if you do things right).
I was fortunate to do something like that. Sadly, I matured, changed (in a good way), but failed to adjust my ex-wife with me. She did nothing wrong, but I changed as most men do in their mid 30s...so, I left her. Sad part is that she still crazy for me.
Women truly start noticing the hard to change/adjust women when you see them in their very late 20s. In their 30s they become VERY bad and bitter. And in their 40s they cannot be changed, but they are smart enough as to hide their defects by clouding us with lot of sex (knowing well Menopause is around the corner and sex will be reduced considerably).
Now, there lot of damage goods in their early 20s too. Don't get me wrong. But there also lot of great women out there too...you just have to get them young and hopefully with sites like this one you can develop some skills so when you are in your late 20s or early 30s...you can find a 20something good one and make her the lucky one.
ok time for an update. BTW thanks for the advice thus far you guys are great. So she was at my condo when I got off work last night. We loaded up my truck and her car and headed to my new house. Had some sushi, drank a few beers, had some decent convo. She was looking real cute.
We spent the night there on an air mattress. Started making out etc. I went to the bathroom, came back with a condom. She was like, "what's that for?" I just put it on and told her no big deal, just in case. So I start rubbing my dic on her pvssy and klit and she is moaning and going nuts. Then I slipped it in for a second and she freaked out and pushed me off her. Ended up she gave me head,etc -- same old thing -- no real sex. However, I DID get it in her for a second and was right on the pvssy for a long time-- this is a lot further than I've ever gone before with her.
I think it's in my best interest to pursue the sex but not place much value on whether it happens or not.
I decided that instead of groveling for sex I'd just act like it didn't matter to me. And ultimately it really doesn't matter because I'm either going to get the sex from her or some other girl. I started to think --"hey, I'm a good-looking guy, educated, great job, new house, nice car and motorcycle -- I can meet girls easy -- they're plenty out there that will fvck my brains out"
In the morning she got on top of me and was grinding my dic on her pvssy again but no penetration! I'm thinking wtf but who cares? beautiful girl naked in bed with me getting me off -- no complaints really.
She left in the morning to go to work and we discussed some plans for tommorrow. I also have probed her a little in conversations over the past week to see if the "slutty beyond normal" theory was accurate. Her answers and her recounting of her sexual history are very convincing. Unless she is a skilled con-artist then I am confident the slvtty theory isn't accurate in her case.
So now I'm just continuing to hang out with her and meet other girls for full-blown sex. I need to fight my AFC ways and shed the oneitis I was getting with this little hottie. I really don't care if it happens now with her because pvssy is everywhere you look.
The big thing I've learned from this chick is to NOT act AFC with a hot girl and that hot girls are a little different than your average HB5-6 because they are used to being relentlessly pursued so they expect the guy to initiate EVERYTHING.
All my friends are rooting for me to fvck this girl as they know the stress this has caused me. If I do you guys will know and if I dont well fvck it because there's a lot of HB8's out there that will put out.
We spent the night there on an air mattress. Started making out etc. I went to the bathroom, came back with a condom. She was like, "what's that for?" I just put it on and told her no big deal, just in case. So I start rubbing my dic on her pvssy and klit and she is moaning and going nuts. Then I slipped it in for a second and she freaked out and pushed me off her. Ended up she gave me head,etc -- same old thing -- no real sex. However, I DID get it in her for a second and was right on the pvssy for a long time-- this is a lot further than I've ever gone before with her.
I think it's in my best interest to pursue the sex but not place much value on whether it happens or not.
I decided that instead of groveling for sex I'd just act like it didn't matter to me. And ultimately it really doesn't matter because I'm either going to get the sex from her or some other girl. I started to think --"hey, I'm a good-looking guy, educated, great job, new house, nice car and motorcycle -- I can meet girls easy -- they're plenty out there that will fvck my brains out"
In the morning she got on top of me and was grinding my dic on her pvssy again but no penetration! I'm thinking wtf but who cares? beautiful girl naked in bed with me getting me off -- no complaints really.
She left in the morning to go to work and we discussed some plans for tommorrow. I also have probed her a little in conversations over the past week to see if the "slutty beyond normal" theory was accurate. Her answers and her recounting of her sexual history are very convincing. Unless she is a skilled con-artist then I am confident the slvtty theory isn't accurate in her case.
So now I'm just continuing to hang out with her and meet other girls for full-blown sex. I need to fight my AFC ways and shed the oneitis I was getting with this little hottie. I really don't care if it happens now with her because pvssy is everywhere you look.
The big thing I've learned from this chick is to NOT act AFC with a hot girl and that hot girls are a little different than your average HB5-6 because they are used to being relentlessly pursued so they expect the guy to initiate EVERYTHING.
All my friends are rooting for me to fvck this girl as they know the stress this has caused me. If I do you guys will know and if I dont well fvck it because there's a lot of HB8's out there that will put out.
RedPill
Master Don Juan
Sounds like you've got it figured out, and it's always cool to see guys around here working to evolve beyond their AFCness. Good job man on having other plates lined up.
If it were me though, this chick would be kicked out. I've been with a woman like this in the past and it's bullsh1t.
If it were me though, this chick would be kicked out. I've been with a woman like this in the past and it's bullsh1t.
If this happened in my bedroom, especially after the attitude she's shown to this point, I would stand up and point my arm to the door, like a baseball umpire tossing her out of the game. "You're gone."
bigmil you might seriously consider major detachment. By that I mean stop initiating any contact, be polite short and indifferent when returning calls or emails. I believe it is the only healthy way to see this thru to an end.
For guys 100% intimacy is crucial in forming/maintaining any healthy relationship. And you know that because a lack of 100% intimacy brought you here right? For women, 100% physical & emotional security is crucial. And clearly, there needs to be reciprocal desire in both.
I want to re-iterare what I originally wrote that I did not say that "she is slvtty beyond normal", rather my words were "feels way beyond normal slvtty". There's a big difference. If she was mega-slvtty, you'd have nailed her 4 months ago lost interest and moved on. On the other hand if something has her continually *feeling* mega-slvtty, well best of luck to ya!
Nope, day by day your allowing yourself to get wrapped up in a mind fvcking conundrum. You've treated her good (ie. physical security) and you haven't wigged out on her or judged her (emotional security). You desire her and have communicated that to her in whatever way you feel is right. She on the other hand, upon receiving your attention, physical security and non-judgemental emotional stability HAS NOT / CAN NOT / WILL NOT reciprocate. There is some type of barrier.
And here's the important part. That barrier is her's and her's alone to deal with, cope with and possibly break down one day. Probing, pushing, waiting, helping, saving, rescuing - anything on your part other than detachment - may very well make things even worse.
You seem to be thinking logically now, that's awesome. A heavy dose of detachment is actually a win-win scenario:
1.) If she falls out of your life, you'll know that she never could or would provide you the level of intimacy required to sustain a healthy relationship. Also, you may never have the answer to the mind fvcking conundrum (ie. what was the barrier) however every day moving on & forward will quickly make that mystery insignificant amongst your thoughts.
2.) She might miss your attention, seek intimacy and either reciprocate as you need or not. If not, simply detach again (after getting a good hummer of course). And if she does go all the way, then know it was possible and gosh knows what would possibly come of it (I definitely wouldn't bet on that long shot).
3.) She may finally confront you regarding your detachment. Tell her quite simply and in this case rather directly/overtly that for you, complete intimacy is necessary for healthy relationships to succeed. Don't explain why. Don't give a timetable. Actually, say nothing else at all (as in don't argue, supplicate, agree, "talk it out", etc.) Then indifferently end the conversation and let it stew in her. She'll dissappear and eventually you might get the answer to your mystery. However, tread carefully because the answer you get will probably be at best a half-truth. In either case, she'll respect you because you stand your ground and are letting her deal with it her way (ie you're not trying to rescue/save).
I just remembered something funny about the similar situation I mentioned earlier. She used to call it something like friendship sex or something stupid like that. Keep in mind, this was somehow different than FWB/FB because there was a partial intimacy barrier. It was as if a friendship had progressed into this "void" zone between standard friendship and standard relationship. Like your case, the barrier was never explained. All that matters was that it existed and the best course of action was to simply head in a new different direction. In the end I figured she "felt slvtty" for getting intimate when she knew deep down there was a reason (ie a past trauma, lack of desire, etc) that a full relationship could never work, yet she worried the friendship would end if intimacy needed to end. And thus a very bizarre unhealthy partially intimate relationship. Yet another great reason why men shouldn't allow women to run a relationship and why friendship with women generally ends negatively if any attraction is present.
For guys 100% intimacy is crucial in forming/maintaining any healthy relationship. And you know that because a lack of 100% intimacy brought you here right? For women, 100% physical & emotional security is crucial. And clearly, there needs to be reciprocal desire in both.
I want to re-iterare what I originally wrote that I did not say that "she is slvtty beyond normal", rather my words were "feels way beyond normal slvtty". There's a big difference. If she was mega-slvtty, you'd have nailed her 4 months ago lost interest and moved on. On the other hand if something has her continually *feeling* mega-slvtty, well best of luck to ya!
Nope, day by day your allowing yourself to get wrapped up in a mind fvcking conundrum. You've treated her good (ie. physical security) and you haven't wigged out on her or judged her (emotional security). You desire her and have communicated that to her in whatever way you feel is right. She on the other hand, upon receiving your attention, physical security and non-judgemental emotional stability HAS NOT / CAN NOT / WILL NOT reciprocate. There is some type of barrier.
And here's the important part. That barrier is her's and her's alone to deal with, cope with and possibly break down one day. Probing, pushing, waiting, helping, saving, rescuing - anything on your part other than detachment - may very well make things even worse.
You seem to be thinking logically now, that's awesome. A heavy dose of detachment is actually a win-win scenario:
1.) If she falls out of your life, you'll know that she never could or would provide you the level of intimacy required to sustain a healthy relationship. Also, you may never have the answer to the mind fvcking conundrum (ie. what was the barrier) however every day moving on & forward will quickly make that mystery insignificant amongst your thoughts.
2.) She might miss your attention, seek intimacy and either reciprocate as you need or not. If not, simply detach again (after getting a good hummer of course
). And if she does go all the way, then know it was possible and gosh knows what would possibly come of it (I definitely wouldn't bet on that long shot).3.) She may finally confront you regarding your detachment. Tell her quite simply and in this case rather directly/overtly that for you, complete intimacy is necessary for healthy relationships to succeed. Don't explain why. Don't give a timetable. Actually, say nothing else at all (as in don't argue, supplicate, agree, "talk it out", etc.) Then indifferently end the conversation and let it stew in her. She'll dissappear and eventually you might get the answer to your mystery. However, tread carefully because the answer you get will probably be at best a half-truth. In either case, she'll respect you because you stand your ground and are letting her deal with it her way (ie you're not trying to rescue/save).
I just remembered something funny about the similar situation I mentioned earlier. She used to call it something like friendship sex or something stupid like that. Keep in mind, this was somehow different than FWB/FB because there was a partial intimacy barrier. It was as if a friendship had progressed into this "void" zone between standard friendship and standard relationship. Like your case, the barrier was never explained. All that matters was that it existed and the best course of action was to simply head in a new different direction. In the end I figured she "felt slvtty" for getting intimate when she knew deep down there was a reason (ie a past trauma, lack of desire, etc) that a full relationship could never work, yet she worried the friendship would end if intimacy needed to end. And thus a very bizarre unhealthy partially intimate relationship. Yet another great reason why men shouldn't allow women to run a relationship and why friendship with women generally ends negatively if any attraction is present.
Haven't had time to read the whole thread.
First and foremost, 4 months and no sex is LOW INTEREST on her part. Period, end of sentence. Don't even try to argue.
My guess is that you are doing quite well with the PULL, but you have no clue how to employ the PUSH.
Push - Pull. The magic combination.
She has likely sensed that you will not push her away and she knows you aren't going anywhere. Therefore she has the power and she is using it.
First and foremost, 4 months and no sex is LOW INTEREST on her part. Period, end of sentence. Don't even try to argue.
My guess is that you are doing quite well with the PULL, but you have no clue how to employ the PUSH.
Push - Pull. The magic combination.
She has likely sensed that you will not push her away and she knows you aren't going anywhere. Therefore she has the power and she is using it.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
You know SKIP actually may be correct on this, it is possible she's got hepatitis of some variety and is too insecure to tell you about it.
Either way, after all of this it's time to NEXT this girl.
Either way, after all of this it's time to NEXT this girl.
NewMan
Master Don Juan
yeah you need to up the ante on this one big time - especially if you haven't grabbed your b#lls and dumped her.
I think the STD question would be a good one - because it'll either hit home to her - or shock her - and tell her why you think she has one.
Personally - I think this is a joke that your still with her.
but think about htis though - why is he still with her? basically, he's still with her, because he's still after the pvssy. She knows it. She probably believes that as soon as she gives it up he's going to move on - which maybe the case.
I think the STD question would be a good one - because it'll either hit home to her - or shock her - and tell her why you think she has one.
Personally - I think this is a joke that your still with her.
but think about htis though - why is he still with her? basically, he's still with her, because he's still after the pvssy. She knows it. She probably believes that as soon as she gives it up he's going to move on - which maybe the case.
I keep telling him he needs to try to go down on her...and if she sorta tries to stop him, she probably really does have a VD.skip2mylou781 said:
As far as flat-out asking her, I think she had already said no...but actions speak louder than words and a lot of people will lie and deny about such sensitive topics.
I agree, atleast try this bigmil. If she pushes you away you HAVE to know she's hiding something. I also don't think you realize how much you've lost by giving in. You think she's going to take you seriously about anything now? You tried to pressure her by pulling away and it started to work, except you totally threw all your progress away by "telling" her why you did it.wayword said:
As others have mentioned, I seriously doubt all this will be worth it in the end.
( . )( . )
Banned
And asking "May I have the honour madam" isnt as pathetic? What did you just slay a dragon for the fair maiden or something?BuckwildSantos said:
WRONG. Thats whats called a conflict of interest.BuckwildSantos said:
Confident men DO NOT wait for snatch, they never have.
Hitman10000
Master Don Juan
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Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
BIGMIL, after thinking this over and doing a bit of research during the weekend it's starting to look more and more like this girl's got hepatitis of some kind. If I were in your situation I'd stare her right in the eye and ask her point blank if she's hep positive. This is your life were talking about. Her behavior is common among people with hep. Most are fearful of losing a devloping intimacy by limiting sexual intercourse and admiting to a life-altering disease with all of it's accompanying social stigma.
I'm speculating here, but from what you've described, her insecurity combined with her almost fanatical reservations about penetration really only point to one reason. Even a condom, or even oral sex is no guarantee against you becoming infected. She could easily have an outbreak inside her mouth and transfer to you. I would emphatically suggest you not only confront her on this, but also educate yourself about hep and get tested ASAP.
I'm speculating here, but from what you've described, her insecurity combined with her almost fanatical reservations about penetration really only point to one reason. Even a condom, or even oral sex is no guarantee against you becoming infected. She could easily have an outbreak inside her mouth and transfer to you. I would emphatically suggest you not only confront her on this, but also educate yourself about hep and get tested ASAP.
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