Date Report: Never before have I suspected a girl using me for a free dinner.

[Plutoman]

I'm going to agree with the others in that she probably felt like you forced the payment on her - she was feeling guilty for you shelling out money, but she also wasn't quite up to dropping big money on dinner herself. That's where the 'this place is expensive' comment comes in.

It is awkward, she is a total stranger to you. Don't make her jump through hoops, man, that's just gonna scare her off. Just keep a date low-key. You gotta pay to play, her whole actions there do NOT come across like a gold-digger (a gold-digger's not gonna go out with a total stranger for a $12 meal, and spend several hours out with him). She honestly sounds from those after-texts like she's interested, but she wasn't feeling comfortable enough with you to just open up and kiss you. If I had to guess, she said those things because she's open to it on another date, and she didn't want you to think she's not interested at all.

My two cents (same as everyone else's); do an inexpensive date. Take the total focus OFF the money, if there's money involved, just pay like money's not a matter to you at all. Don't make a random girl you just met jump through huge hoops, you'll just blow her out. Especially if she's a conservative girl (which is still certainly possible!). Don't set yourself up for failure.

 

[buzzin_frog]

The title of this thread should read "How not to act and what not to do on a date"

You took her to a fancy restaurant on the spur of the moment

You were going to force her to pay for it

She intimidated you into paying for her meal

You also let her lower your value as a guy

You put the moves on her way too soon

You had beta conversation and let her know you wanted her

What do you expect?

EPIC FAIL

I ask her if she's hungry, she reveals that she hasn't eaten all day.

This is where you runied the date and it goes downhill from here.
Of course she is going to say yes, she wants a free meal. Why did you offer to feed her? All you had to do was chill at the alley until it was time to bowl.

Well, I improvise and head over to a semi-fancy Italian restaurant nearby. Beginning of the date was real cozy - we're linking arms, holding hands being all gay, that kind of sh1t. As we're sitting down:

You put too much value on her taking her to a semi fancy restaurant. Holding hands?

Her: I feel bad because this place seems kind of expensive.
Me: It's ok, we can split it.

She was expecting you to pay

So you take her out to a semi fancy restaurant that she didn't ask to go to and you want her to split it? what are you doing?

Conversation is decent. The vibe is going real well at times and we kind of cuddle sometimes. She orders some pasta and I end up getting salad because I already ate w/my family.

You look like a tool eating a salad while she is eating her pasta meal

This was a bad place to go when your bowling plans got delayed

Check comes. I can't remember how it came up, but she brought up payment again.

yeah because she doesn't want to pay for it

Me: I have no problem paying for you, but if you feel bad about me paying for you you can give me money
Her: I have money
Me: Cool, well either way
Her: Alright, I won't take away from your manliness then.

Yikes!! What are you doing? she was gonna pay!! you blew it by letting her do that to you!!!! she lost anything she had for you right there!!! she put it over on you!!

And I paid $26 and left a $4 tip. Don't know why, but this kind of put a damper on my mood. In my past I had always been grateful just to land a date with a girl so I didn't really care if I spent $20 or something. This time, I had already spent $30, more than I've EVER spent on a date in my LIFE, AND the night wasn't over yet - we were supposed to go bowling.

you felt like crap for paying her dinner

she put one over on you and you knew it!!

you didn't have to take her there

you did it to yourself

hope you learn to never do this again

Obviously, since my mood was shot a little our interaction suffered a bit. It was subtle, but I noticed it. Don't know if she did. For all the similarities I had to her, I started feeling like we didn't necessarilyl "click" that well. I took her to my car to drop off our leftover food, then we drove back over to the bowling alley.

You didn't eat all of your salad?

she got one over on you so she didn't care

yeah because you let her get one over on you and you lost IL

Right before going back inside, I suddenly pulled her in and tried to kiss her. She pulled her head back and said "I don't kiss on the first date." I responded, "Oh no we're not kissing, I'm just getting as close as I can..." (she definitely didn't buy it) then kissed her on the cheek.

We go into the bowling alley. I'm not feeling good at all now and literally have to make an effort to conceal my mood. Thankfully, there's still a 20 minute wait at the bowling alley. I tell her it's ok, we can hang out for a couple min then I have to get home to my family.

WTF? Why did you do that? you creeped her out dude. You mean you didn't even bowl after all of this? :crackup:

Talk for a bit, the conversation is totally boring me now. I completely feel like I have no interest in this girl other than fwcking her now. It's so fwcking weird because she SEEMS like my "type". Idk. It's weird, being the way I am every girl I've gone a date w/I've always started to feel this strong attraction toward them, get this feeling that I would want to spend all the time in the world with them...and with this girl, despite her being everything that I "should" like, during our conversation I simply could not see myself spending significant amounts of time babbling with her.

yikes!! do you honestly think she would ever have sex with you? You can't even get a kiss out of her. The IL was gone from the both of you.

I drive her home. During dinner she had VERY briefly alluded to an ex. On the car ride, the topic came up in passing again, and I ask:

Me: So you were in a pretty long relationship then? I just get that sense.
Her: Yeah...how about you? Have you been in any long relationships?
Me: Nope. Not at all.
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah.
Her: Why not?
Me: I don't click with most people. It's hard for me to find someone I click with.
Her: Do you think we click?
Me: (pulled the first answer out of my @$$ I could think of) I think we could double-click.

She was trying to find anything to talk about

not much for small talk

double click? is this a progressive commercial?

That topic died.

i'm sure it did

I drop her off. Get out of the car to give her a hug. Kiss her on the cheek a couple times, then say "You know the entire night I had to try so hard to keep myself from jumping you and making out" and she gave me a sarcastic sassy response.

why are you hugging and kissing her after this distater of a date?

and you say that to her after? dude do you see how creepy you're acting? telling her you want to jump her bones? I can see why this chick lost it for you.

She's not supposed to be the princess type though. I mean SHE'S A MUSLIM FOR FWCKS SAKE. (She's white though and decently hot.

how is she being a princess? she was just creeped out by your creepiness. you invited her out to eat and she intimidated you into paying for her meal. she gamed you bro!! keep your chin up and learn from these terrible mistakes!!

Texting KILLS relationships.

my ass they do

Besides, it's an open secret that Muslims are publicly religious but privately degenerate. Muslim women are set up as toddlers with their first cousins. She's probably been fvcked by her male relatives beginning as soon as they could jam it in. Muslim women suffer from a very high incidence of HPD and try to seduce all the men around them.

What a crazy response!!! This is hilarious!! I guess every chick now that shows a lack of interest because the guy was being creepy has a personality disorder.

Get on your tinfoil hat dude

All of a sudden -- feeling a bit guilty (a good sign on her part IMO) she was worried about the cost... as were you.

it was not a good sign on her part

she was taken to a restaurant that she didn't plan on going to and was being forced to pay for her meal. she didn't want to pay for it and totally put one over on this guy. That was classic :crackup:

 

[MisterAFC]

Sageproduct did very good job, any girl would be happy to go out with a man who pay twenty six dollar for his sweetheart

 

[BeDJ]

[FONT=&quot]

Lol I think you have some anger toward me dude. You call me a pu$$y in the other thread for NOT going for the kiss on a 30 min boring outing filled w/bad conversation and now you call me stupid for going for the kiss after over an hour and half of flirting, kino, and venue changing. But thx for the input, you misinterpreted a couple things but I agree mostly

I don't. You continue to make the same mistakes over and over again and expecting different results. When you post a field report, expect your ego to get thrown under the bus. We help you by reality slapping the sh!t out of you[/FONT][FONT=&quot][FONT=&quot].

I remember posting a pic of a chick that I thought looked like a 6. One of these faggots said it gave him amnesia, my standards are higher now. That chick had the ugliest pair of tits I have ever seen. Think Mr Potato Head with a single melted Hersheys kiss.

Anyways, stop texting so damn much. Attraction comes when she is thinking about you. You aren't allowing her to do that.[/FONT] [/FONT]

 

[cordoncordon]

The bottom line is if you are the one who approached her at the train station, which you were, and if you are the one who ASKED HER OUT, which you were, YOU should pay. That is what I would do and not even think twice about it. You are making a big deal out of nothing. Not only was it just $30, but it was $30 that the asker of the date should pay for anyway.

 

[Down Low]

What a crazy response!!! This is hilarious!! I guess every chick now that shows a lack of interest because the guy was being creepy has a personality disorder.

Get on your tinfoil hat dude

I didn't hear you lay out your experience with Muslims. :cricket: Oh that's right. You don't have any.

Besides, you're the one who said she's a master manipulator. How'd she get all that experience with men? Oh right. She's an Islamic virgin who's being magically guided by Allah. :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[Bigg Boss]

I think you could have had her when she asked do yall click. Sounded like you started getting desperate.


eh, i say give her one call (to show you werent just talkin out your ass trying to smash that night) but then after that she has to show interest. you've done enough lol

 

[sageproduct]

Thx for responses everyone.

I often wondered where those 72 virgins promised to islamic martyrs would come from...most assuredly not from this world.

Here's your answer.

Update

Haven't talked to her since, got a couple texts from her today:

1:26 Doubling the estradiol injections account for that
1:27 Oops! Wrong [my first name]. Lol Sorry!

Lol not going to respond to that...Clearly NOT an accident. I mean doesn't everyone have conversation-based text messaging now? Plus it seemed like she was "answering a question" anyway. Whatever her intent was I don't really care, same thing goes I'm silent for a couple more days then call her up

 

[Plutoman]

She's interested, yeah. Definitely. I still think it was just lack of comfort for a kiss, and she's not the kind to jump into it. Heck, I have to feel comfortable with someone to kiss them, I don't jump into it.. (unless I'm drunk).

 

[Darth]

Here's your answer.

Update

Haven't talked to her since, got a couple texts from her today:

1:26 Doubling the estradiol injections account for that
1:27 Oops! Wrong [my first name]. Lol Sorry!

Lol not going to respond to that...Clearly NOT an accident. I mean doesn't everyone have conversation-based text messaging now? Plus it seemed like she was "answering a question" anyway. Whatever her intent was I don't really care, same thing goes I'm silent for a couple more days then call her up

Yeah, my gut says that text was extremely intentional and my gut rarely lies. Looks like you're still on, good going.

 

[dosquito]

I can't believe that the consensus that initially formed after the OP was that the sitaution was hopeless. The girl is clearly interested on some level but also awkward...OP, if I were you I would just claerly state my intent to this girl

 

[Darth]

^^Well, easy to jump in and say this now when there's no risk, haha. The fact remains that serious errors were made throughout the date. The fact she is still interested does not negate those errors, but indicates that sageproduct is so charming that he carried it off in spite of (not because of) the numerous cringeworthy moments outlined here.

 

[dosquito]

Not really. It just indicates that people on sosuave are way too quick to abandon ship. Girls are a lot more forgiving than the average sosuave poster would have you believe. I made quite a few "mistakes" on my last date, but, by simply not caring or dwelling about them it ended up being a great date. Likewise, the OP committed some errors but that doesn't magically make the girl unattracted to him all of a sudden.

 

[Darth]

Likewise, the OP committed some errors but that doesn't magically make the girl unattracted to him all of a sudden.

Not saying it did. But if you were playing a game of chess and you opened yourself up for the 4-move checkmate, even if your opponent let it slide and the game went on for 60 more moves, wouldn't you want to know what a blunder you made so that next time you won't make the same mistake against a less forgiving opponent?

 

[backbreaker]

the OP's post is not even what i am laughing about. we've all ****ed up similarly before including myself. in the future **** trying to screen for interest just ****ing pay the damn bill. more is lost by looking like a cheap ass then trying to screen for interest when dealing with splitting tabs. 30 dollars is less than chump change.


no what i'm laughing at is the rationale of a woman who won't kiss you on the first date, being willing to come back to your house on the 2nd withotu doing anything else. good god man come on you are better than this.

what universe are you living in where women who don't KISS on the first date **** on the 2nd lol? not only ****, **** without any wooing on the 2nd date. i want to move that universe.


slow the **** down sarge. take her ass on a regular ass cheap/free date. she likes you. you are goiugn to blow this ****.

 

[sageproduct]

Wasn't going to just straight up invite her over - obviously that wouldn't fly. I meant take her somewhere *near* my place then bring her over afterward

 

[sageproduct]

Honestly I don't expect to f her soon, when I bring her back I'm just trying to escalate as far as I can..if I get to second base I get to second base, and hopefully thatll make her more comfortable to go farther the next time

 

[Purefilth]

Honestly I don't expect to f her soon, when I bring her back I'm just trying to escalate as far as I can..if I get to second base I get to second base, and hopefully thatll make her more comfortable to go farther the next time

Try not to get naked while she's fully clothed this time

 

[JohnChops]

Estradoil is like testosterone for women (not estrogen) ... why would she randomly send you that . Thats used to treat low libido, hot flashes, usually anything that comes with menopause. Erm, kinda a really odd text dont you think sage?

 

[d0g]

This thread is excellent. I especially enjoyed the advice from Darth and Harry. The play-by-play reviews on this board are like gold. Thanks guys!

And good luck, sage -- it sounds like you're still in the game with this one.